No Regrets (Bomar Boys #1)

by Jess Bryant

  Something painful dug into his gut at the mention of their childhood home, “You’re glad we got out of there huh?”

  He’d left them there, the angry voice in the back of his mind took the opportunity to speak up. Remy had left them with their abusive, alcoholic father. Left them with their absent, druggie mother. He’d left them and he’d never looked back.

  “Yeah, course, I…” Remy met his eyes for the first time since he’d come inside and a hundred things he couldn’t read stared back at him but there was one that he could, guilt, “There’s so much I want to tell y’all but I don’t deserve to have ya hear me out. I know that.”

  Did he deserve a chance to explain himself? For leaving them when they were helpless? For never coming back for them? For ten years of almost complete radio silence? He knew what his twin would say. No. And that gave him pause as something he’d missed clicked into place.

  Remy had spoken to Colt already. What had he said about helping him with something? Some sort of situation that Colt had asked him to help with and in return, his twin had told him they could talk.

  A cold chill swept down his spine and the same worries that had been twisting in his gut earlier took hold again. Colt had been keeping something from him. He’d known that. He’d known it was bad when he’d heard of his involvement with their cousins too. But he’d never thought that whatever was going on could make Colt turn to Remy before he talked to him about it.

  “What’d you do for Colt?”

  “Huh?” Remy’s dark brows furrowed, confusion taking over the intensity of his face.

  “You said you did something for Colt. That’s why you’re here. He told you that he’d talk to you if you did something for him and I want to know what it was you did. You want to talk, start talking about that.”

  Remy shrugged, “I did what he asked. I delivered the message. That fucker isn’t going to be threatening any of us ever again.”

  He frowned and looked his older brother over again, more closely this time. He checked him the same way he checked Colt when he came home, looking for signs of a fight. There was a small bruise on the underside of Remy’s jaw but there was no way of knowing what it had come from. The bruises on his knuckles were far more telling.

  Bruised knuckles. Red and angry skin broken from repeatedly punching something or someone. He knew the look. His own still looked bad from his most recent bought with his dark nature, but not that bad.

  Remy had delivered a message the Bomar way. He’d been asked to hand out a beating. He’d used his fists to right some perceived wrong. It wasn’t anything new, not in their family. It happened every day. But usually he didn’t have to worry about the role his brothers were playing in those dangerous games.

  Remy had been gone, long gone and he’d never given a thought to trying to protect him. Colt on the other hand, he’d made the mistake of assuming was safe. Just how wrong had he been?

  He’d thought they decided to stay out of the dark family business and that was that. No boosting cars or trading in weapons or drugs. He’d thought the closest they ever came to illegal were the underground fights their cousins ran but he’d been wrong. Colt was into something and now he’d dragged Remy into it from ten years and hundreds of miles away.

  “What’d you do for him?”

  Remy gave him that confused look again, “You know what I did.”

  No, he didn’t, but clearly Remy thought he did. He had to play along. If his older brother figured out that he was in the dark on this, he would snap his jaw shut and stop talking. He would assume whatever reason Colt had for keeping him ignorant of their actions was a good one and he wouldn’t say another word. That was another part of the Bomar way, don’t reveal anything to anyone unless they’re already on the inside. He needed Remy to think he was already in.

  He shook his head “I want to hear you say it.”

  He wasn’t sure what he expected but Remy didn’t fidget or shrink in any way. If anything, he stood taller. His slumped shoulders went back. It was a position that could have looked proud but Cash knew better because he’d seen it all his life with Colt. It was defensive.

  “I did what I’m good at, what the Army trained me to do with the sharp edges I was born with. I delivered the message I was asked to deliver in the most violent, hurtful ways imaginable. Is that what you want to hear?”

  “No.”

  Remy smirked, “Then tell me little brother, what is it you want to know?”

  “I want to know what Colt sent you to do… and why.” He crossed his arms over his chest, waiting.

  “Huh, well that’s interesting.” Remy mirrored the position and it was like looking at a fun-house mirror, the image so similar to his own but twisted, stretched taller and thinner and dark everywhere he was light. “You’re really gonna play it like you don’t know?”

  Cash refused to budge. He kept himself perfectly still. Remy didn’t know him or Colt anymore. If he wanted to imply something about them, he’d have to do better than that.

  “It was just as easy as he said it’d be.” Remy finally shrugged, “Slipped right in, nobody even looked at me twice. Course I had to get me one of those fancy lookin’ suits but Colt was right, resembled enough nobody looked twice when I went in.”

  “Fancy suit?”

  “To get into the ivory tower. That rich fuck hardly ever came out alone so I had to go in to get to him. Took me a couple of days but I managed it. Recon and intelligence, thank you very much United States Army.”

  Ivory tower? Where had he heard that term before? Cash sucked in a startled breath as the memory hit him. That was what Colt had called the apartment in Houston where Jemma had lived with that abusive bastard.

  His mind whirled as everything he thought he knew about the situation twisted. He’d thought Remy was helping Colt with something local, something to do with whatever business he shared with Lincoln. He hadn’t been thinking of himself or Jemma at all because why would he? They weren’t in trouble. They were fine.

  But if that were true then Remy wouldn’t be making any sense, and he was. Horribly, he was. The comments about the ivory tower tipped him off but there was more. He’d been in Houston. Cash knew that. He’d said he needed a suit to slip inside so nobody would notice him. That had to be because Remy resembled that bastard enough not to draw attention.

  But what had he said about threats?

  “You beat the shit out of Hoyt Bates.”

  Remy snorted, “There it is. I knew you were playing dumb though I don’t know why. Colt sent me to help you and your girl out so you could keep your hands clean. I wasn’t expecting a thank you or anything just for the record.”

  Cash felt his fists clench at his sides as his assumption was proved true. Colt had sent Remy after that rich fucker without telling him. But why? What was he missing? The last time they’d even talked about it, they’d both agreed it was unlikely the guy would come after them. Had that changed?

  “Did you do more than beat him up?”

  “I didn’t kill him if that’s what you’re asking. He was alive and breathing though he was wishing he wasn’t by the time I left.” Remy stuck his hand in his pocket and pulled out something small and rectangular, “This is the only copy of his supposed evidence against you two idiots. And really? What were you thinking walking out the front door covered in blood? It’s no wonder you weren’t picked up and thrown in jail on the spot.”

  Cash caught the small item his brother tossed at him and frowned. It was a flash drive. Evidence. His brain whirled all over again. He could just imagine what was on it. In a building like that one, no doubt there was security equipment to capture every person coming and going. He didn’t know if there was also video evidence from inside that apartment, assumed there wasn’t because that would show the bastard hitting Jemma, but even circumstantially it would have been enough to put him away.

  He hadn’t thought about it. Should have, but he hadn’t. He’d thought the guy was too weak to try any
sort of revenge plan but clearly he’d been wrong.

  “This has everything on it?”

  “No, not everything. Colt said your girl wanted the images of her trashed so those are deleted and gone forever.”

  That sick feeling twisted his insides again and his fists shook as his anger intensified, “The images of Jemma are deleted?”

  “Look, I had to watch some of it just to make sure it was all deleted but don’t freak out, okay? That sick fuck ain’t ever goin’ to see that footage again because he may never see anything again but neither will anyone else. You have my word on that.”

  Not just evidence against him and Colt then. There had been something with Jemma too. He seethed with hatred and anger but he tried to keep his brain working and not shut down. Remy had already hurt the bastard, badly from the sound of it, so there was nothing he could do on that front.

  But he was just as angry that his brother had kept him in the dark when he was the one that had brought the threat into their life… him and Jemma.

  “Jemma wanted the images deleted?” He ground out through clenched teeth.

  “That’s what Colt said.” Remy shrugged, “Really man, I know I surprised you showing up here but I thought you’d want to hear firsthand that it was taken care of. I owe you guys more than I can ever repay, that’s what I told Colt on the phone and I meant it. It’s the least I could do. He won’t be threatening any of us ever again.”

  “I…” He scratched his head, tried to breathe, “You shouldn’t have gotten involved.”

  “You’re my family.”

  His anger made the words too easy, “And that means something to you all of a sudden?”

  Remy flinched as if he’d thrown a punch, “It always did. I had to leave, Cash. I… I couldn’t be here with all the fuckin’ lies anymore.”

  “Yeah, so you took off to save yourself.”

  “I had to and I couldn’t take you with me. You were kids.”

  “Yeah, we were, but we’re not anymore.” He shook his head, “I don’t know why Colt called you for your help but this wasn’t your fight. It was mine. Jemma’s mine and if she’s threatened I’m the one that’s supposed to protect her.”

  “You’re mad at me because I took you out of the fight?” Remy scoffed, rubbing his bruised jaw. “Of course you are, because you had no fuckin’ clue Colt called me did you? That little shit.”

  “Look…”

  “No, you look, I didn’t make that call. This was all Colt’s doing.” His brother paused, narrowed his eyes, “He and your girl decided to keep you in the dark. Not me.”

  That brought him up short and he paused in his pacing. He hadn’t even realized he’d started to pace. Back and forth across the small living room. His heart was thumping like he’d run a marathon and his blood was rushing in his ears. His body was gearing up for a fight and he knew all the signs too well.

  “You’ve spoken to Jemma?”

  “Nah, course not. Colt wouldn’t let me near your girl.” Remy paused, “The only part she had in any of this was sending me those messages so I’d know what I was looking for. That’s it. I don’t think she even knew who she was sending them to, just someone Colt said could help.”

  It was like all the air was sucked out of the room. All he could hear was the roaring of blood in his ears, the thump of his heart in his chest. He couldn’t think, could barely even breathe.

  Jemma had known. She’d known about the threats. But of course she had, that terrible voice in the back of his head hissed.

  She was the one with ties to that bastard. She was the one that had pulled him into their lives. She was the one that must have received the threats. And instead of confiding in him, instead of telling him about the trouble, instead of asking him for help, she’d kept it a secret.

  Worse, she’d involved his brothers instead. She’d dragged them into the mess. Not just Colt but Remy too. The brothers that he would have done anything to protect, she had put in danger by including them in some plot to be rid of Bates once and for all. She’d kept secrets from him, had them keep secrets from him. She’d lied to him. They’d all lied to him.

  He expected it from Remy. Hell, he even could have accepted it from Colt. But not Jemma.

  This whole week, he’d believed her when she said she was sick. Believed her when she said she had things to do that kept them apart. Like tonight with Skylar. Now that awful voice in the back of his head said she’d been trying to put space between them, to hide what she wasn’t telling him, so he wouldn’t discover the secret she was keeping.

  That vile voice laughed at him for being so naïve. He’d been waiting for the other shoe to drop and now it had. Nothing was ever easy or even what it seemed. He’d been happy because he was in the dark but that was no way to live.

  “Stay here.” He growled and watched Remy’s eyebrows wing up.

  “What?”

  “Stay here. Or don’t. I don’t give a fuck. I have to go.”

  He tore the front door open and ran smack into his twin. Colt stumbled backwards but Cash only growled at the surprised look on his face. Before Colt could recover he shoved him, both hands against his chest, and watched his brother go sprawling backwards onto his ass with a shout of shock and outrage.

  “What the hell, Cash?”

  “Did you really think I wouldn’t find out?” He yelled, barely resisting the urge to kick his twin while he was down.

  “Find out what?” Colt was up on his knees in an instant, glaring at him with a look of pain and confusion.

  He’d fought plenty of people in his life. He’d used his fists more times than he could count. But he’d never taken his violence out on his twin, never, because they were always on the same side. The fact that Colt had lied to him, kept something as important as Jemma’s safety from him, hurt. It felt like betrayal, one he’d never expected.

  “Really? You have that many secrets from me?” He shouted, “You have to ask which one I’ve found out?”

  “I don’t know what…” Colt had come back up to his feet and his gaze widened before it came back to him, “Fuck, Remy?”

  Cash could feel his older brother at his back. Remy had followed him out the door. As soon as his twin saw him, that look of confusion vanished. He put it together a lot faster than Cash had but of course Colt already knew what was going on. Cash was the only one that had been kept in the dark.

  “Cash, hold on… I don’t know what he told you but…”

  He narrowed his eyes, fists clenched, “But nothing. You stay the hell out of this. You’ve done enough.”

  He stormed past his shock-faced twin towards Skylar’s apartment. He barely made it five feet before he felt a hand on his arm. His anger flared and he spun, grabbing the wrist connected to the hand and propelling Colt into the wall. In a matter of seconds he had him pinned, one arm against his neck, pressing his advantage.

  “Goddamnit Colt! Don’t!”

  “Hey, guys, let’s take a beat.” Remy tried to be a calming influence but it was far too late for that.

  “Get off me!” Colt growled right back at him, struggling against the hold.

  “Stay out of my way or I’ll put you down. I won’t like it but...”

  A soft, feminine voice full of worry interrupted him, “Oh my God! Cash? What are you doing?”

  Under any other circumstances that voice would have soothed him. It would have calmed his anger. It would have made him back away from the dangerous ledge. But not tonight.

  Tonight it only made his anger pitch higher because she was the reason he was so angry. She’d lied to him. She’d kept him in the dark. As he turned to face her, the woman he loved, he saw the worry and concern on her face but also a flash of fear in her eyes. And this time, even that wasn’t going to stop him.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Jemma couldn’t believe her eyes. It was like looking at a stranger when that cold blue gaze met hers. There wasn’t a hint of emotion there except anger. So much anger. She’d
only thought she had seen Cash at his angriest but she had been wrong she realized now. That day at the Bomar house with Decker, that afternoon in the apartment with Hoyt, he’d never looked at them the way he was looking at her right now.

  When she’d left him maybe a half hour ago, maybe, he’d looked sad about letting her go but he hadn’t been upset, not really. They’d spent the evening together, engaging in a little oral worship, and like most of their nights together, it had been amazing. Her heart had been soaring and it had sucked to pry herself away from him even though she knew it was the right thing to do.

  She’d been MIA with Skylar for weeks now. Ever since she’d decided to let Cash back into her life. She was living with her best friend but she’d been spending all of her time with her boyfriend. She felt a little bad about that, particularly when Skylar had asked if she’d be able to clear her schedule for some girl time tonight. She shouldn’t have had to ask, not after everything she’d done for her. So Jemma had spent some time with Cash early and then gone home to get ready for a girl’s night out.

  Skylar wasn’t home from work yet but she’d text that she would be there shortly. She’d said Billie was meeting them at the bar for drinks because she needed both of her best friends to be friends again and give her some female advice. Something was going on with her boyfriend, Trey, and it wasn’t good. Jemma hadn’t been sure what that meant, couldn’t read tone of voice via text, and had been waiting for her friend to get home to fill her in on whatever was happening in her love life when she heard the raised voices outside.

  Men’s voices yelling. Men she knew. Men she cared about and loved.

  She’d walked outside in time to see Cash slam his brother into the brick wall and stopped short. Her mind couldn’t process what it was seeing. The twins fighting with each other wasn’t supposed to be in the realm of possibility. They fought other people. They didn’t fight with each other.