Shyt List 5: Smokin' Crazies The Finale' (The Cartel Publications Presents)

by Reign (T. Styles)

The officer was skeptical. “If you are Laser Pliers, then why did he say it was him?”

  Uzi moved toward Laser’s dresser and the officers rode his back like a coat. They were afraid he was going for a weapon and they would not hesitate to fill him up with lead and take a few weeks off with pay while the department sorted it out. “Freeze!” One cop pointed his department issued .9 millimeter at Uzi.

  Uzi threw his hands up in the air. “I just want to show you my identification. That’s all.”

  “Tell us where it is. We don’t want anybody getting hurt.” He was mainly talking about himself and the other cops. He could care less about any injuries Uzi sustained.

  Knowing where Laser kept his wallet Uzi said, “It’s in the top drawer. Next to my socks.”

  Bilal was stunned silent. Nothing was making sense to him. Not only was he not Laser Pliers but neither was Uzi. And then there was the thing with Laser lying. He couldn’t wrap his mind with understanding why he would throw him under the bus and pull off. Finally there was Owl’s freak whore ass. Sure Laser disrespected when he grabbed her arm, but did it warrant the cops coming to his house?

  “Go check for the ID, man.” One of the officer’s said to his partner, while the others kept their guns on the brothers. “I want everybody’s hands in the air.” When they didn’t move fast enough he yelled, “NOW!”

  When the officer happened upon the wallet in the dresser he opened it up and flapped through the dividers until he saw the license. When he was in the right place, he examined the picture. With the exception of the small birthmark on Uzi’s earlobe, which the officer didn’t notice, the picture on the driver’s license matched Uzi perfectly. After all, they were identical twins. “You see what I’m saying officer? I’m Laser Pliers.” Uzi verified. “So it could not have been my little brother.

  “That’s fine with us.” They hoisted Uzi by the arm and rushed him outside before he could dispute. Upon seeing him being escorted out of the house like a garbage can, Bilal, Jr., Laser and Easter piled behind the cops. When they made it into the cold night air, from the backseat of the police cruiser, Bilal, Jr. saw Owl with her arms folded over her breasts. He wanted to talk to her and ask why she’d go so far, but he knew it wouldn’t make a difference. Had he been man enough to stop Laser from fucking his shawty from the gate, none of this would be happening.

  The officer pushed Uzi toward the car. Looking down at Owl he asked, “Mam, is this the man?” She knew before Uzi even reached the door that it wasn’t him. “If not, there’s another one over there who looks just like him.”

  Owl was sick on her stomach when she saw the birthmark on Uzi’s ear. Uzi was a good dude who despite how he felt about her, never kicked a bad word in her direction. But if he wanted to eat the bullet she prepared for his twin, she would gladly pull the trigger.

  Owl leaned up and peered out the window. Her eyes rolled from his feet to his eyes. She was doing this mainly for effect and to make the real Laser sweat. After dragging it out longer than an R&B singer at a wedding, she sat back and without an ounce of remorse said, “Yeah, that’s him.” She looked straight ahead. “He the one who tried to rape me!”

  “Rape?!” Uzi shouted, before looking at Laser. Not for him to step up, knowing the police would haul them all to jail for interfering with the investigation, but because he wanted to be sure his brother wasn’t that foul. He focused back on her when he got his non-verbal answer. “Why the fuck you lying, you dirty ass bitch? Fuck wrong wit’ you?” He felt like strangling her.

  With her confirmation, Bilal, Jr. watched as his brother was placed into another police car. He hated to think selfishly, but after this shit, he couldn’t imagine his family allowing him to stay with them now. Although everyone else went inside the house when Uzi was carried away, he stayed outside until two cars pulled in front of the house. Upon hearing the news that one of their nephews was arrested, the other five uncles and aunts returned home.

  Once parked, they piled out of the cars and moved toward the house. “Fuck just happen?” Tabitha asked, approaching Bilal, Jr. Like Laser, she didn’t care for him but luckily for Bilal, Jr., she was the only one out of them who shared her view. “What you do to him huh? Why Easter telling me that Uzi was taken away on some shit to do with your girlfriend?”

  “Tabitha, get the fuck off that kid!” Gabe said. When she didn’t move he yelled, “Now!” Tabitha hock spit next to his foot and walked a few feet away, although her eyes remained planted. “Let’s hear what the fuck happened first! You all ready to jump on him without knowing the deal.” Gabe looked at Bilal, Jr. “What happened earlier?”

  Bilal, Jr. was stuck. If he told his family that Laser tried to frame him, Laser would most likely take his life. “I don’t know, Uncle Gabe. I was in my room with Uzi and the next thing I know the police were here. I think Owl lied on him, saying he raped her or some shit like that.”

  “Raped!?” He yelled. “That’s your girl right?”

  “I don’t fuck with that skank like that.” Bilal, Jr. hoped he was making Laser proud by disowning the girl. “We just do what we do but it was never nothing serious.”

  “Well if the bitch starting shit like that, sounds like you made a good choice.” Hall said. “Easter, get on the phone and see if you can find out if Uzi gonna get bail. We can’t leave him in there.”

  “And what the fuck we gonna do if he does need bail? We ain’t got no money.”

  “Speak for yourself,” Tabitha said. “I keeps me a little change for rainy days.”

  “Well what you keep for the days the phone bill due?” Easter placed her hands on her hips. “’Cause I show remember asking you to put in last week, when you cried broke. Now that Uzi need rescue you got bread?”

  “The phone bill ain’t no rainy day. Anyway, don’t nobody talk on the phone but you. If anything, that should be the one bill you always hold down.”

  Tabitha and Easter was at each other’s necks within a minute flat before Oakes and Gabe pulled them apart. Before long they were discussing shit that didn’t matter. “Let go of me!” Easter screamed. “I’m tired of her eating all the food and not putting in on shit. She ain’t nothing but a mothafuckin’ freeloader!” Instead of leaving the matter alone, she decided to go at her like she was a bitch on the street. “You ain’t nothing but a dusty bitch who be passing out STD’s like club flyers. I’m so sick of your shit.”

  “Well if you sick, bitch…die!” Tabitha retaliated, perfectly willing to go another round. “I don’t know why you think you the boss of this family because you not. I mean, what were you doing when they took our nephew out of here? Huh? Probably running your fucking mouth on the phone as usual!”

  “Fuck all that shit ya’ll spitting.” Gabe said, “let’s go in the house and sort shit out. The family way. I’m tired of niggas being in our business because ya’ll don’t know how to handle shit civilized.

  Once they were inside Laser said, “I’ll get the money! Just give me a minute.” He patted Bilal, Jr. on the shoulder and said, “Come with me.”

  Bilal, Jr. with his chest on swollen followed his brother into their bedroom. He felt proud that he would be included in the money making plan. He figured Laser inviting him to the board, meant he did him good outside. Hopes for praises went out the window when the moment the door was closed Laser knocked the wind out of his lungs. He violently fell to the floor as he tried to gasp for air.

  Grabbing a fist full of Bilal, Jr.’s curly hair, Laser asked, “Why you let him take that bid? I gave that shit to you to handle and you dropped the ball!”

  Bilal, Jr. didn’t know if it was the severe pain his body was experiencing, or the trouble he was having breathing. One thing was certain and that was that he was perplexed. “I don’t understand. What did I do wrong?” He asked rubbing his chest hoping his ribs were not fractured.

  “The moment your brother took that charge, you should’ve manned up and set the record straight. But you ain’t do that shit and now Uzi going
to jail. Get up and grab your coat. We going to that bitch’s house.”

  Bilal, Jr. pulled himself up, trudged toward the closet, snatched the coat Uzi bought for him and slid into it. The sounds of his aunts and uncles yelling in the living room carried into the bedroom like a fog. He felt to blame for all of this shit, and contemplated running away from home.

  “Here, put this in your coat.” Laser handed him a nine, before putting his coat on, with his .45 already tucked inside. “You know how to use it right?”

  Bilal, Jr. saw many times on TV, how gunslingers would pull back the slide to get the bullet into the chamber. He attempted the same move, and when it snapped back, it grabbed a piece of the skin on his finger too. “Awwwww!” he screamed, dropping the weapon. Luckily for him it wasn’t loaded but blood oozed from the wound.

  Laser slapped him on the back of the head. “Fuck is wrong with you? Why would you drop it? If it was loaded you could’ve shot me.” He could’ve shot himself also but Laser didn’t care. He picked it up, placed the magazine inside and slid it to be sure it was loaded. He made it look so easy, Bilal, Jr. felt foolish. Handing it back he said, “Now you can just point and aim. Hopefully you know how to do that.”

  Once outside, the cold air rushed up Bilal, Jr.’s nostrils and stung the back of his head. He rubbed it several times causing it to run. He didn’t want to look like a snotty nosed kid, so he wiped the mucus on his jeans and stroked it five times so it would disappear into the fabric.

  When they made it to Owl’s house Laser hung back and said, “Go knock on the door.”

  “What you want me to say?”

  “Go knock on the door,” he repeated, no explanation or further instruction given.

  Bilal, Jr. knew better than to buck, so he climbed up the steps and knocked softly. Owl swung the door open. Placing her hands on her hips, she said, “Yes?” With a neck roll she added, “Fuck can I help you with?”

  Bilal, Jr. looked at his brother and back at her. He felt a strange sensation when he saw her face. He thought about the sounds she made when Laser was inside of her and how she gave him her boot to kiss whenever he asked to do so much as finger fuck her. No longer thinking straight, he blacked out and stole her in the face so hard, she dropped at the threshold. Once down, he dragged her by her hair outside and into the front yard. Owl’s brother came outside and Bilal, Jr. caught him with a bullet in the thigh. Laser didn’t know what he expected from the young one, but he certainly could not have imagined Bilal, Jr. carrying shit like that.

  With Owl’s brother screaming to the hood gods on high, Bilal, Jr. aimed at him and said, “Shut the fuck up before I give you one in the gut.” Then he faced Owl. “You lied on my brother. Why?”

  “Please don’t hit me again!” She sobbed, covering her face. “I didn’t do nothing. Please!”

  Punching her in the gut he repeated his question. “Why you lie on my brother?”

  “Because Laser tried to rape me.” She wept. “I was scared. So I told the police.”

  “Bitch, ain’t nobody try to rape your bitch ass!” Laser said, his gun now trained on her brother. He finally decided to show up to the party. “If your ass wasn’t in my house, trying to give up the pussy, none of this would’ve happened.”

  Bilal, Jr. ignored the dispute between them because he wanted answers. Thoughts of being run over constantly plagued his mind and weighed on his heart. He even thought about not having parents all because of the legendary Yvonna Harris. Although he wasn’t the only person in the world with problems, he damn sure had his share.

  “It’s like this…you gonna go with me to the precinct and you gonna drop the charges on my brother.”

  “I tried already, but they said it was a criminal matter now so they were involved.” She was crying so hard her abdominal muscles cramped. “Please…I’m sorry about all this. Everything is all my fault.” She said, as if he weren’t aware. She wiped the tears off her face before they froze against her skin. “I’m sorry for cheating on you too, Jr. I really do love you.”

  “You said you went down to the precinct,” he said, ignoring her call for endearment. “How much was bail?”

  “They saying fifty thousand. But all you gotta do is pay ten percent for a bails bonds man and they’ll let him go.”

  “How much money you got on you?”

  “Only twenty five dollars.”

  Bilal, Jr. dug into her pocket, relieved her of the money and stuffed it into his coat. Turning around to face his brother he said, “What you wanna do now? She saying she tried to drop the charges already.” If he would’ve given the word, Bilal, Jr. would not have minded killing her.

  Laser couldn’t help but look at Bilal, Jr. differently at that moment. Something took over and he wasn’t sure if it was for the better or worse. “We gonna go to the dude my brother works for. His name is Yao, maybe he can come through.”

  YVONNA

  Yvonna, Bricks and Ming were downstairs in the basement looking at what appeared to be a small, frightened family. There was a man, a woman and a child. They weren’t wearing anything but underwear and the baby had on a soiled pamper. The smell of feces and old food loomed in the space. There were also twelve cots and a white sink with ten washcloths thrown over the edge of it.

  “What do you want?” the man asked, stepping in front of the woman and the child, as if Bricks’ .45 wouldn’t penetrate him and anybody else he desired. “And where is Ms. Ebony? Did she send you to…” he was choked up as he looked at the baby, “did she send you to take him away?”

  “What’s going on down there?” Swoopes asked from upstairs, interrupting the moment. He didn’t come down because he had a fear of basements, after being abused in them so much as a child.

  Not liking Swoopes’ unexpected phobia, Yvonna ignored him and focused back on the people. “Who are you? Do you live here?” As she waited on a response, her heart rate increased because it looked like the dungeon she was kept in as a child.

  “My name is Elika,” the male said nervously, “and this is my sister Tata and our baby Martin.”

  Bricks frowned. Having limited knowledge of how sick the AFCOG really was, he couldn’t move past the relation between them. “Wait a minute, you telling me this is your sister but this baby is both of yours?” He paused, hoping he was wrong.

  “Yes.” He said with shame.

  “So you fucking your flesh and blood?”

  Elika held his head down. “Yes. We were forced together, to produce. Our baby will be leaving in a couple of days.” He softly palmed the little boy’s head. “It’s going to be a rough couple of months when it happens but we’re use to it now.”

  Yvonna grabbed a chair against the wall and sat down. Bricks and Ming chose to remain standing to cover her in case things got wild. “How long have you been in this hellhole?”

  “We’ve been here all our lives,” Elika said, as Tata remained silent. “We were born here. Are you here to take him from us? Normally they allow us to keep the child for at least six months…because of the breast milk. To be sure he’s healthy. That way they can get the best money.”

  “We ain’t here to take no baby!” Swoopes yelled from upstairs, trying to make it known that he was still involved. “Ya’ll niggas can roll out for all I give a fuck.”

  “Any nigga too scared to come downstairs, shouldn’t be allowed to say shit!” Bricks yelled up at him. “So just shut the fuck up and fall back. We got it down here!”

  “Come up here and say that shit to my face, bitch ass nigga!”

  Bricks was about to take him up on his offer when Yvonna rose up and grabbed his forearm. “Baby, not now.” She paused, pointing at them. “Please, we got business.”

  “What did he mean when he said roll out?” Elika asked Yvonna, stealing back her attention. “Does that mean we can leave?”

  “Yes, it also means that we not here to take no baby from you.” She briefly looked over the child and was amazed he wasn’t deformed, since they were broth
er and sister. “Have any of your kids been warped?”

  Knowing what she meant he said, “Yes. Two. But we’ve had over ten.”

  “What happens with them when they come out like that?” Ming asked, flabbergasted.

  “They throw them away, wait a little while her to heal and force us to have sex again until she’s pregnant.”

  Yvonna shook her head and her temples begin to throb. It was modern day slavery at its finest. “We are not the enemy. You are free to move on with your lives if you want to. It’s over.”

  Elika looked at Tata and asked, “But what about AFCOG? And master Ron Max?” His heart could be seen rocking in his thin chest. “I’m confused. Are you in charge of us now?”

  “No.” Yvonna took a few steps back, the smell was killing her. “You don’t have anybody to rule over you anymore. You’re both free to go on with your lives. But if I were you, I’d do it as far away from here as possible. Until the leader is dead, it’s not safe.”

  They were about to walk back up the stairs when Elika said, “Tata, do you hear what they’re saying?” He gently touched the sides of her face. “We are free to leave. We don’t have to be afraid anymore! Our prayers have been answered! It’s what we’ve always asked for.”

  Tata’s body began to shake uncontrollably. She gripped her baby so tightly to her breasts, as she eyed them suspiciously, that she was in danger of suffocating him. “No, don’t listen to them.” She sobbed, shaking her head. “You can’t leave, Elika. I’m afraid.”

  He pleaded with her to calm down. “You don’t have to be afraid anymore.”

  “Don’t tell me not to be afraid! It was I who nursed your wounds, when the master beat you badly the last time you tried to get help. Remain loyal to AFCOG, like they told you. Like they told us and everything will be fine. And they’ll let us keep each other. That was the deal.” She smiled oddly and touched his face. “We’ll be okay.”

  All of them were floored but Bricks was taken aback. He didn’t have a clear picture of the monsters they were dealing with until he saw the fear in Elika and Tata’s eyes. His respect for what needed to be done, to the members of AFCOG, grew tremendously in that moment.