The Way You Make Me Feel

by Francine Craft

  “You can’t help that, love,” Damien said and she started a bit. He had called her love again and it thrilled her. In the entertainment industry everyone used that word as loosely as they used the word dear. It meant exactly nothing; she was letting it mean everything.

  Cina began smiling. “You eat like a hungry man, Detective. Let me get you seconds.”

  The detective shook his head. “I’ve got to watch my weight, but I’ll be grateful for another cup of java. This is the best I’ve tasted lately.”

  In a minute the detective had the coffee and he pushed himself back a little from the table and began speaking in earnest. “I keep thinking you could have been attacked. We’ve found both yours and Ms. Evans’s cars but still can’t seem to locate Ms. Evans. I also came by to tell you Keith Muncy is out of prison and you need to be careful. You testified against him and your and Ms. Evans’s testimony that he attacked her put him behind bars. He shot off his mouth a lot in prison about how he intended to pay you both back. Informants told us, but they weren’t specific enough.”

  Stevie nodded. “Thank you for telling me. I don’t remember him, but what you tell me gives me a glimmer of what he’s like.”

  “Do you remember anything?”

  Stevie looked at Damien. “I remembered some things yesterday and images hang in my mind, disembodied images that I can’t connect. I’m seeing a psychologist every day for a few days, then several times weekly. I’ve only seen him once, yesterday, but he’s good and I’m progressing already. In the beginning, I couldn’t bear to hear anyone speak Bretta’s name. Now I can say it and that’s moving fast.”

  For just a moment, she thought about her joy at remembering Jessi, Nick and the children, and Damien’s rewarding kiss. She hunched her shoulders a bit as warmth filled her.

  The detective sighed. “Then there’s your ex, the almighty Jake McGowan. If you don’t remember, I’ll tell you, he has it in for you because the United States government is on his tail for tax evasion and racketeering. You were his wife long enough to know where all the bodies are buried and you are scheduled to testify against him this October. The prosecutor has sworn to send him up for a very long time and Jake isn’t a man who would thrive in prison.”

  Stevie’s breath came faster then and images crowded her as small chills ran the length of her body. Why? Damien looked at her closely. “Are you okay?” he asked.

  She nodded. “I’m fine.” She turned to Detective Rollins. “I met Jake McGowan at Club Insomnia yesterday. I don’t like him. I think he’s a cruel man.”

  Detective Rollins nodded. “That’s putting it mildly. I’m thinking about how he roughed you up a few times and you had him arrested and I talked with you…”

  “I wouldn’t remember.” She thought she did seem close to memories of people she liked.

  “And it wasn’t too long before you left him,” Detective Rollins said. “As I look back, you had to fight him for your divorce, but you got it. Now, you got your hands full with him and Muncy. Let me know whatever happens and I’m on top of it. I came to admire you a whole lot for the way you stood up to both those clowns and I’ll help you in any way I can. You’re lucky, too, to have a man like Damien on your side.”

  Stevie glanced at Damien. “I know I am, but we go back a long way.” She knocked on the wooden table edge. “Thank God for that.”

  Detective Rollins didn’t stay long and when he’d left, Stevie asked Damien, “Could we leave a bit early for my appointment with Dr. Winslow? I want to stop by a drugstore and pick up some things. Makeup. Cologne. Stuff like that.”

  Damien smiled. “Sure, but you don’t…”

  She waited for him to finish and when he didn’t she asked, “What were you going to say?”

  He shook his head. “One day I’ll tell you.” He’d been going to say that she didn’t need cologne because she smelled so good naturally. Like her, he thought about the kiss and his eyes narrowed. He wanted it to happen again.

  His face got somber then. “That’s bad news about Muncy being out. I was at his trial. He and McGowan are two of a kind.”

  Stevie’s shoulders stiffened. “I may not remember my past just now,” she said, “but I know this about myself—I’m not running scared. I do remember something about my parents and the kind of folks they were. They taught me to stand up for myself and I’ve got people like you to stand up for me. And Detective Rollins…”

  “And a lot of others,” Damien said. “Now let’s get a move on. We’ve got mucho ground to cover. After the doctor checks on your head and you see Dr. Winslow, I have to meet with a young guy I want to record with us. I’ll treat you to a fabulous late lunch.”

  Upstairs, as Stevie dressed she thought about Jessi, Nick and the children coming by unexpectedly the night before. Rip had been overjoyed when she’d said she did remember him after all. He had hugged her for a long time. Holding the precious two-year-old, her heart had filled with wonder. When she had asked Damien if she had children, there had been something in his eyes when he’d answered—compassion, but something else she couldn’t fathom.

  The Coltons hadn’t stayed long and they had made plans to see each other again soon. As they were leaving, Jessi said, “You seem relaxed here with Damien. He’s a great guy and I’m glad you’re here.”

  “I’m glad, too. He’s one of the best.”

  Jessi hadn’t mentioned Jake and maybe she didn’t know about Keith Muncy.

  Dr. Winslow was all smiles as he looked at Stevie. “Lord, you’re recuperating from your physical injuries with the speed of light,” he told her. “Let’s hope the mental and emotional side goes as swiftly. Do you still think you need Damien in here with you? You were really shaken yesterday.”

  Damien cleared his throat. “I believe it might go better if you saw her alone.”

  “I’m thinking that, too,” the doctor said. “What do you think, Stevie?”

  Stevie looked from one man to the other and licked dry lips. She wanted to do everything she could to get her memory back so she said softly, “I’m willing to try it alone, but I may need Damien to come in.”

  “I’ll be right outside.”

  Stevie felt more relaxed from the beginning. When she mentioned this, Dr. Winslow said, “I think that’s because you’re really eager to get this show on the road. You had a checkup this morning. How did that go?”

  “The doctor said he was amazed at how much the swelling on my head has gone down. I go back Friday and he’ll do more X rays. He just wants to make certain.”

  She told him then about remembering Jessi, Nick and their children and he was visibly enthusiastic. “Just relax,” he said, “and let it all come to you. It will come.”

  “Detective Rollins came by this morning to tell me that a man named Keith Muncy is out of prison. He says this man is threatening me because I testified against him in his trial for attacking his wife—” She hesitated here before she said very softly, “Bretta.”

  The doctor looked at her. “You said the name and you don’t seem to me to be frightened. Do you know why you’re not frightened now?”

  “No. I’m just not.” But she thought the fact that Damien had kissed her made all the difference. He liked her a lot, always had. So what if it was never to go any deeper? She needed friends and he was a friend. But that kiss was precious and private, and she wasn’t going to share it with Dr. Winslow, or anyone.

  Dr. Winslow clasped his hands in front of him. “You’re so much better and I want to move quickly on this. It will be to your advantage. Have you thought about this one thing you can’t and don’t seem to want to remember, can’t bear to see?”

  “A little.” She wasn’t aware that her voice was faint.

  “I want you to lean back and close your eyes. Focus on what happened just before you fell on that stone, if you fell. Gently ask your mind to tell you what happened. It will cooperate with you. Please go ahead.”

  Stevie did as he requested and at first she closed he
r eyes, and in a daze saw a mass of shapes in the brilliant moonlight. Then no sooner had she seen the shapes than they began to metamorphose into a tangled ball of orange-red and got smaller and smaller. She cried out then and violently came to her senses, looking wildly around her.

  The doctor sat forward, looking at her. Why didn’t he comfort her? Should she call for Damien? He would comfort her.

  “What did you see?” the doctor asked softly.

  She gave herself a long time to answer. She was determined to do this. She owed it to herself and she owed it to Damien who had put himself completely at her disposal.

  She described to the doctor what had happened and he bit his bottom lip. “The mind always protects itself. We’ll let this go for the moment and talk of other things, but we’ll come back to this. Are you willing?”

  “Yes. I’ll do anything I can. I want my life back.”

  “Good. Now you mentioned this man who you’ve been told has threatened you. This frightens you?”

  “Some, of course, but I won’t run scared. Detective Rollins said I testified against him when he attacked my friend, his wife. And I testified against him again at the divorce hearing. He blames me and he blames his ex-wife for his prison time. Dr. Winslow, as you know, I also have an ex-husband…”

  Dr. Winslow smiled grimly. “The monster.” He remembered her free association of the day before.

  “I met him yesterday at Club Insomnia, a nightclub I’m told I’m part owner of. He’s a very nasty man, and I think he hates me. Detective Rollins told me I’m set to testify against him in his tax evasion trial this October. Apparently I have a lot of guts.”

  She stopped for a long moment. “Something on a different subject. I sing on Thursday nights at Club Insomnia. I want to start singing again as soon as possible.”

  The doctor smiled. “You need to give your head a rest, but depending on what your doctor says, I’d think next Thursday would be good. You do have a lot of guts and that’s what it’s going to take to beat this thing. Now, let’s free associate some more.”

  And for the next half hour the doctor gently said words and Stevie responded. Only near the end did she remember to tell him about the statement she had made regarding Bretta while Detective Rollins was there. “That’s very good,” he said, “and you tell me you’re getting more and more images as we talk. Don’t be surprised if after a few days, this comes to you in blocks and in a short while you’ll remember most of your past.

  It may take no more than a week or a few weeks or a few months. I’m very hopeful about this. You’re doing beautifully, my dear, and I’m very proud of you.”

  Damien took Stevie to the Gold Standard restaurant downtown. The place was one of the most popular in Nashville, and if you lingered there for a while, you’d see most of the city’s musical people wander in. Damien waved to a young man seated at a table.

  “Any table at all,” the maître d’ promised, coming up with a wide smile.

  “I want Wilson with my company,” Damien told her. “He’s as good with gospel as he is with hip-hop, maybe better. Jake’s trying to get him. His life’s a mess. His wife left him and took his son that he adores. He’s clinging to me as a lifeline.” He looked around. “Order for me, too. I’ll have whatever you’re having. A lot of people here today. I’m just a few tables away and I’ll have my eye on you. If this conversation weren’t so private, we three would be together.”

  “I’ll be fine,” she said.

  Damien went to the other table and Stevie looked around. A tall, grim-faced man with wavy black hair and ginger skin left his table and made his way to hers. Once there, he glared down at her.

  “Well, if it isn’t Joan of Arc, on the warpath to save humanity.”

  “I beg your pardon.” She looked at him levelly.

  He was very angry. His skin seemed to have hot coals under it. She glanced over toward the table where Damien sat and found him studying the scene. She drew a swift breath. “What can I do for you, Mr.—?”

  “The name’s Keith Muncy and, yeah, I heard almost as soon as I got out that you no longer remember anything. Too bad that didn’t happen a long time ago.”

  “I’ve been warned about you, Mr. Muncy, and I have nothing to say to you.”

  “Well, I’ve got plenty to say to you. Watch your back, lady, ’cause like the old country song, I always repay every debt I owe, and I owe you big-time.”

  His fists were clenched; she remained calm. As Damien started to get up, the man walked away abruptly, looking back over his shoulder. Damien looked at her and raised his eyebrows. She put her fingers to her mouth and blew him a kiss and his nutmeg-colored skin flushed. Grinning, he returned her kiss.

  The waiter came and she ordered barbecued baby-pork ribs, lima beans, zucchini squash, macaroni with cheese and a garden salad. She’d let Damien choose the dessert.

  She was facing the door so she saw the party when they came in, just as they’d come into Club Insomnia the day before. Jake McGowan, Honi, Jake’s bodyguard and his lawyer. As the maître d’ led the group to a table and seated them, Jake looked surprised to see her. He glanced around him like the lord of the manor, then got up and made his way to Stevie’s table.

  “Hello, Stevie, how’s it going?”

  “Very well, thank you.” Something about him made her flesh crawl even worse than Keith Muncy did. How had she ever married him? Stayed with him?

  His eyes narrowed. “I was coming in when you and Steele exchanged long-distance kisses. Moving fast, aren’t you, Stevie?”

  “I don’t see that that concerns you.”

  She was aware of Damien’s eyes on her again, but Jake kept his distance. “I acted like a dog at Club Insomnia yesterday and I’m sorry. I’d had too much to drink. I’m gonna put it on the line. I love you, Stevie, and I want you back. You don’t remember anything, but I’ve said this to you before…”

  “Would this have anything to do with the fact that I’m testifying against you in October? I’m never coming back to you, Jake. You’ve got to know that.”

  Jake McGowan was a man who hated losing and who seldom lost. Now he didn’t know whether he was lying or telling the truth when he said he wanted Stevie back. It would surely make his case if she couldn’t testify against him. Her coldness toward him was getting to him, and he had a few things to say.

  He turned around and looked at Damien, knew Damien was talking to an artist he wanted on his own label and the old competitive itch came up in him. He turned back to Stevie. “Steele’s a player,” he said bluntly. “You think you can compete with a woman like Honi Holmes, that luscious beauty sitting over there? There’s nobody who doesn’t know those two are made for each other and in spite of everything, they’ll get married one day. Then your little passionate ass will be out in the cold.”

  “You always were so kind,” Stevie murmured. “It’s one of your many virtues.”

  A rough-hewn man who aspired to sophistication, Jake was crestfallen, angry that Stevie could still get to him. “Listen,” he told her, “I’m not a lover like Steele, but I’ll change. Anything you want, girl, you name it, you got it.”

  It was Stevie’s turn to be blunt. “You want me back so I can’t testify against you.”

  Hell, he’d reckoned that was a no-brainer, but he countered, “What do you mean?”

  “You’re safe,” she said. “You know I remember nothing and I think there is a lot to remember, maybe about you. If we married again, I couldn’t testify against you.”

  His eyes half closed. “I want you back because I love you. Period. End of sentence. Think it over, babe. I’ll be waiting.” Then he mockingly put his fingers to his lips and blew her a kiss.

  By then, Damien was at the table. “Trouble?” he asked softly, squaring off his own six feet two inches with Jake’s five eleven.

  “Not from me,” Jake answered. “I got the love of your life over at my table and you got the love of my life at yours. Why don’t we just swap? Save
a lot of trouble that way.”

  “It’d save a lot more trouble if you’d just let Stevie alone. She no longer wants to be bothered with you. Hasn’t for a very long time.”

  “But I want her,” Jake said softly. “I’ve never stopped wanting her. Just like you still want Honi. Don’t waste Stevie’s time. You know where your heart is.”

  Stevie looked up to find Honi staring intently at them, her beautiful face shining. She wished jealousy didn’t cut through her. Damien smiled as he looked hard at Jake. “It might surprise you to know where my heart is. One thing I know, I’ll never hurt Stevie.”

  Jake shrugged and abruptly walked away as the waiter began to bring the silver-covered dishes. “I’ll be with you in just a few minutes,” Damien said. “Wilson’s coming to Nubian Gold. It didn’t take much to land him. It seems he doesn’t much like Jake or the deal he’s offering him. He is crazy about Honi, and he insists that I borrow her from Jake to produce his album.”

  The rest of the time went smoothly. Damien came back and brought the young man with him for introductions. “I’m a fan of yours,” the young man said, “right from the beginning. Hurry back, Stevie. It’s gone around what’s happened to you and I’m wishing you all the best.” He left and joined Jake’s group.

  When Damien and she were eating, she reflected that it would be a great lunch if it weren’t for Keith Muncy and Jake and his party. After a while, Keith got up and left. At the door he saluted her, his face as cold as ice. And Stevie sat thinking, sure she had done the best she could in protecting a friend. Did Keith intend to use Bretta for a punching bag for the rest of his life? No, not if she could help it. And apparently she could and had helped it.

  After lunch, Damien and Stevie visited music shops. People in the country-music record shops all knew Stevie; she had been relentless in publicizing her songs. A manager in one store shook Stevie’s hand. “Now we know we’ll be rewarded with some really great songs like ‘I Don’t Need You Anymore,’ but we want you performing again. Your voice is just too good for you not to be singing.” The manager had looked sad. “The news has gone around about your amnesia and I’m sorry. Just pray and keep praying. That always works for me.”