Notes from the Life of a Total Genius
Page 12
Yours truly,
Arthur Bean
May 5th
Dear RJ,
Just giving you a history lesson here. It turns out the Plains of Abraham battle wasn’t fought as much with swords as with cannons. I definitely don’t have a cannon. Maybe we can do something with spitballs?
Also, I think Kennedy really hates me. I tried to talk to her, and she won’t even acknowledge that I exist. I hate that she hates me. I don’t like knowing that there are people who hate me. I want everyone to like me. But mostly, I really want Kennedy to like me.
Yours truly,
Arthur Bean
Hey, Artie,
I’d love it if we could meet today and discuss what you were thinking about posting in your JOGO article this week.
Cheers!
Mr. E.
JOGO: Standing Together
By Arthur Bean
There are times when we have to choose sides. I think that being in junior high is practice for being adults. From what I know about voting, there’s never a perfect option, but it’s important to choose anyway. (At least, that’s what my friend Anila would say. My dad says that when you vote, you vote for the least terrible person out of a sea of terrible people.)
There will be more times in our lives when we have to choose between two options that aren’t perfect. The way I see it, the best option is to choose what your friends are choosing. This way there won’t be as many arguments, and you’ll still have friends.
The more people that believe in the same thing you do, the easier it is to believe in it yourself. Sure, maybe you’ll go home and wonder if you’ve made the right choice, but the next day you’ll be back with your friends and realize that it’s not so hard if you all stick together.
So, when you choose, choose your friends. But hey, that’s …
Just One Guy’s Opinion.
Hey, Artie,
This article is an interesting choice of subject. It’s vague though; I’m not sure if our readers will fully understand what you’re trying to convey — that you make a choice on principle and stick to it, or you side with the majority. I think we can work on making your point clearer and more focused!
Mr. E.
Assignment: Macbeth Review
By Arthur Bean
Theatre Calgary’s version of Macbeth was a hot mess that left me cold.
First of all, I hated that they modernized it. Making it all about Canadian politics was a terrible choice. I wanted to see epic sword-fighting scenes and giant, elaborate costumes. Instead, there were suits and cell phones. Adding technology was so stupid! I feel like they were trying to modernize the play so that kids would think it was cool, but instead, I think that adults are the most boring people on earth. Turning portions of the script into text messages on screens beside the stage meant watching the play was more like reading it. And take it from me, watching people text is about as interesting as watching paint dry.
And let’s talk about the set. I hated the high platforms; I couldn’t even see the witches. What a stupid choice to make; even amateur directors know that you shouldn’t put the best parts of a play on parts of the stage that aren’t visible from the crappy seats. Sure, we don’t have a lot of money, but in Shakespeare’s time, they made sure that the poor people could still see the play. Although, maybe the theatre company didn’t have any money? That would explain the boring costumes and lame set that was designed to look like an office building. The only cool part of the whole thing was the glass elevator between the top level and the stage.
If they had no money, it would also explain why the acting was so bad. I was hoping there would be lots of screaming and crying, and there wasn’t. Also, why was Lady Macbeth thirty years younger than Macbeth? It was just plain creepy.
I wish I could say more about the play, but I fell asleep in the second act, and only saw the last fight scene (which I would have done a way better job at, being a fencer and all). If this play had been interesting at all, I’m sure I would have stayed awake. I actually liked reading the play, and I was excited to see it. Now I’m annoyed that they wrecked the whole play for me. I’ll never see it again.
Arthur,
I think you make some valid points here, but I feel you could have given a more thorough description of the production. What did you like about it? Who was your favourite character? How did modernizing the script bring out different aspects than you expected? You didn’t speak to any of the themes of the play, or any of its strengths as a production. Focusing only on the look of the play and the staging of it isn’t a complete picture of the production as a whole.
Ms Whitehead
happy bday!!!!!
Thanks. It’s been pretty lame. I had a Math test and Mr. Everett made me redo my Science questions.
that sounds like it sucked. r u having a party this weekend?
No. I wouldn’t know who to invite anyway.
Awwww. someone is feeling sorry for himself …
No! I just don’t care about my birthday.
(sad violins play)
You’re a jerk. And you’ve always sucked at playing instruments.
(sad violins screech to a halt)
next year ill have a car and ill come visit
You won’t be 16.
thats not gonna stop me!
Ha! Yeah right!
(packs up his violin and runs away)
May 11th
Dear RJ,
I don’t like where everything with the Leg Breakers is going. Everyone at Von’s house this afternoon really wanted to stage a protest outside the school, and invite the media to come and film it. They are making a huge deal about the whole thing! Things are going further than I wanted them to go. I mean, I still think that we should be allowed to do our plays, but I don’t want to be on the news. I think we could look like whiny teenagers. I’ve seen how things get edited sometimes, and the news is run by adults, so of course they are going to make the adults look like they are the ones who are right. I tried to explain this to everyone, but then they asked if I was chickening out, and Ben wanted to know if I was all talk and no action. I really don’t want to seem like I’m a wimp, so I told them that we just needed to plan out what to say and make sure that we don’t say anything that could be taken in the wrong way.
RJ, I don’t know what to do. I want to stand up for what I believe in and free speech and all that, but I don’t want Kennedy and half the class to hate me for being part of the group that got grad cancelled.
Yours truly,
Arthur Bean
r u around this weekend? im gonna come up
Really? I’m not going to be here!!
where r u going?!?! u have no life
That’s what you think. My dad and I are going camping. Why are you coming up?
dad wants me 2. plus lethbridge is boring right now
Why is it so boring?
y r u so boring? thats just life
Do you want to come camping?
nope
It would be good practice for when you’re a counsellor.
still nope, it might still be snowing in the mountains. u guys r crazy!
Well, I hope Calgary is really boring for you.
awwww ill miss u 2
From: Kennedy Laurel (imsocutekl@hotmail.com)
To: Arthur Bean (arthuraaronbean@gmail.com)
Sent: May 18, 14:08
Arthur,
I was out this weekend and I heard that you guys are now planning a PROTEST for the news?!?! What gives?! You know that there are WAY more grade nines who care about grad than care about your plays, right?!? And if you put on your plays, NO ONE is going to come. I’ll make sure of that!!
Can you PLEASE stop your group from ruining what SHOULD be the BEST DAY of junior high?!?!
Kennedy
From: Kennedy Laurel (imsocutekl@hotmail.com)
To: Arthur Bean (arthuraaronbean@gmail.com)
Sent: May 19, 10:50
I can’t believe
you won’t even respond to me now. SERIOUSLY? That’s so immature!
Kennedy
From: Arthur Bean (arthuraaronbean@gmail.com)
To: Kennedy Laurel (imsocutekl@hotmail.com)
Sent: May 19, 21:37
Dear Kennedy,
I swear, I’m not avoiding you! I was away all weekend, and I just got home and saw your emails. And we’re not doing a protest. You shouldn’t believe everything you hear. It’s totally overblown.
I wish you understood how important it is to some of the Leg Breakers that we do the plays. It’s a big deal. It’s about our rights!! You know that I would never do anything to hurt you, and if it was up to me, I would do something about it. But there’s nothing I can do now. It’s too big!
If you want, maybe you and I could get together after school one day and figure out the best thing to make it all work out for everyone. I bet if we brainstormed, we could come up with some really great ideas. You and I work so well together!
Yours truly,
Arthur Bean
May 19th
Dear RJ,
I wish I had fencing tonight. I could really have used the distraction. Instead, I’m just sitting at home, freaking out about the Leg Breakers. Von has been suspiciously silent all weekend, which makes me think he’s doing something weird and awful, like building a giant platform for some national news story. I wish we hadn’t gone away this weekend. It feels like we were gone for a month, not just three days. Plus, Dad takes our phones and locks them in the glove box of the car so that we can “power down” while we’re camping. But now look where it’s got me. Kennedy is furious, and I have no idea what the Leg Breakers did this weekend! Next time we go, I’m going to insist I keep my phone with me. It’s necessary for my survival!!
Yours truly,
Arthur Bean
Assignment: Book Review Three
An Antarctic Odyssey by Nick Bertozzi
This is my third and final book review for you, Ms Whitehead. I hope that you are moved to tears by my most touching and sincere book review here.
My last choice is to review An Antarctic Odyssey by Nick Bertozzi.
I got this book for my birthday from my best friend in Lethbridge. He’s really into comics and normally I don’t like the same stuff he does. But he said that he had never read this book, and he was told by the bookstore owner that it wasn’t like a comic.
First off, I should assure you that this fits into the non-fiction that you wanted us to read. Frankly, I never read non-fiction, because normally I read the first chapter, or paragraph, or heck, even just the title and subtitle, and I figure that I know what the book is about. I don’t understand how people need 300 pages to describe how to make cheese or the history of salt. I get it. Salt was important.
This book made me think, “Why aren’t all non-fiction books illustrated like graphic novels?” It’s so much easier to read them. I finished this one in an hour, tops. If I were in charge of Social Studies textbooks, I would make them all comic strips featuring a talking guinea pig named Scott. Scott could narrate all the cool stuff that happened in history, rather than long boring passages about the Fall of France. And I would show Scott getting killed in ways that match how different people died during the different battles. At the end of every chapter, Scott the Time-Travelling Guinea Pig would be stabbed, or beheaded, or shot through with an arrow, or something equally historic.
Anyway, the book was all right. I still don’t like non-fiction books, but I liked the parts when they almost got eaten by the giant sea monster, and watched whales breed. I found all the characters confusing. They all looked the same.
I give this book a 70%.
Arthur,
Your book review doesn’t say much about the book. In fact, you say almost nothing about the book, the synthesis of information, the language level, your engagement with the narrative or any of the criteria of the assignment. I get the feeling that you didn’t actually read this book, which is not like you at all. For one thing, Shackleton and his crew were never beset by a sea monster. Perhaps, the next time you read a graphic work of any kind, spend more than an hour focusing on the illustrations and the interplay between word and picture. There’s a lot more to be gleaned from books like this than what’s written in the text!
Ms Whitehead
May 22nd
Dear RJ,
We’re two weeks away from when we were going to put our plays on. Do you think it’s too late to drop out? Von said that he’s going to have a news crew at the school Monday morning to cover the story, and he wants me to do the talking, because according to him, I started the whole thing. I would like to state for the record, I didn’t start it! The way I see it, Kraleigh started it. But it doesn’t matter now, because I sure don’t want to be on camera! Kennedy has put up posters all around the school, on top of our Leg Breakers posters, and they all say Graduation Celebration, Not Theatrical Vexation! The posters tell people that they should boycott our play night.
RJ, I never thought that writing one article and stating my opinion would go this far. And now so many other people are getting upset, all because of me. I don’t know whether I made a huge mistake, or if it’s worth it, because you should stand up for yourself. I do know that I don’t want to do this anymore. I want all of it to be over, and I don’t want Kennedy to hate me, and I don’t want to worry that Hark is going to quit because of me, and I definitely, DEFINITELY don’t want to hang out at Von’s house anymore.
Yours truly,
Arthur Bean
Assignment: Extreme Survival!
Oh no! Your character is in a life or death situation! It’s up to you and your newfound technical writing skills to guide your character to safety. It doesn’t matter how ridiculous the situation you choose may be; what you’ll be graded on is your clear explanations, organization and logic.
Remember the tips for good practical writing:
1. Be clear
2. Be detailed
3. Be logical
4. Use simple sentences
5. Use the present tense
Due: June 6
did u get a job at camp?
Not yet. I should probably get on that.
i got my contract in the mail today so its probly too late
u know that camp starts in a month right?
No. It’s not until the second week of July.
not if u work there, we start june 30
I’m sure it’s fine.
riiiiight
JUNE
June 1st
Dear RJ,
Barely anyone showed up to the Leg Breakers rehearsal today. Even Ben and Latha didn’t come, and they’ve come to all of them. Everyone seemed really … I actually don’t know how to describe it. It was like everyone was defeated or tired or something. Well, everyone except Von. Von said that we needed to keep our energy up even though it’s exam season. He said that people couldn’t come because they were studying, but I know that no one actually studies for exams for a whole month before them. You maybe, MAYBE, read over the textbook a couple of times the week before, but I don’t think Ben would even do that. He’s one of those naturally perfect guys who is smart and funny and all the girls love him no matter what. I’m surprised that he and Kennedy haven’t gone out. They’d probably be the perfect couple. Don’t tell them that, though. Or maybe they wanted to date, but it was too awkward because Kennedy and I went out, and Ben’s a friend of mine and said that he couldn’t do that to me. See, RJ? That’s the kind of thing that Ben would do. He’s just that kind of guy.
But more to the point, I wonder if everyone else is thinking the same thing that I am. What if no one wants to do it anymore? I can’t ask them, because I don’t want to be the quitter, but what if everyone is writing the same things in their journals at home? The only one who seems really keen still is Von, which is totally unsurprising, since he’s so lame and doesn’t get it.
Yours truly,
Arthur Bean
&nbs
p; From: Kennedy Laurel (imsocutekl@hotmail.com)
To: Arthur Bean (arthuraaronbean@gmail.com)
Sent: June 2, 19:14
Arthur,
I wanted to let you know that I’m going to write a feature article for the Grad Matters! campaign that Catie and I started. I already asked Mr. E. if we could put it on the front page, ESPECIALLY since you got two of your articles featured that got us in this whole mess. Of course, he said yes.
I’m going to prove to Ms Kraleigh that I’m a true leader around here. I’ve already told her that you and I are NOT friends or on the same side, just to make sure I can win that award. If I don’t, you can consider this friendship 100% OVER.
Kennedy
From: Arthur Bean (arthuraaronbean@gmail.com)
To: Kennedy Laurel (imsocutekl@hotmail.com)
Sent: June 2, 20:58
Dear Kennedy,
I agree. You should put your article on the front page. The Marathon is fully committed to showing both sides to every story! I’m not writing anything this week, so you don’t have to worry about me!
Yours truly,
Arthur Bean
June 3rd
Dear RJ,
I emailed Tomasz at camp and asked him about the camp counsellor job for the summer, but I got an email back today saying that they filled all the positions. How could that be? I was SURE that he would make room for me; I was one of the best campers! I was one of the best dish washers (nobody else washed the underside of the plates or bowls), I always participated at campfire, and I even helped out the seven-year-olds when they needed someone to tie their shoes or do up their life jackets. I’d be a great counsellor! Now Robbie’s going to be at camp all summer, and I’m going to be left doing nothing! This summer is going to suck and it hasn’t even started. I think it’s going to be a worse summer than the one after Mom died, and that one was horrible!