The Computer Who Loved Me

by Lloyd G Miller

  During the assembly process, Annette frequently wheeled Kyle out to watch the progress and allow him to make recommendations. After initial assembly, Annette spent another two weeks tuning the software and making adjustments. She took it for numerous drives to test certain aspects. Finally, the day arrived for final presentation to Kyle. She placed a large bow on it and a sign that said “Happy one month anniversary.” Annette wheeled out Kyle and after a couple of circles of the vehicle so that he could inspect it, she and her hired help, Dan, lifted Kyle into the driver’s seat. Kyle protested, “You know I’m not supposed to drive yet, Annette.”

  “You’re not driving. I just thought you would feel manlier sitting in the driver’s side.” Dan opened the door for Annette and she climbed up into the vehicle. “Bob, take us to Trolley Square.” The modified Expedition automatically moved down the driveway and onto the street. “And Bob, give us the extra smooth ride. You see Kyle; the car has six inconspicuous cameras. It has a better view of the road than you do and Bob is fully conscious at all times of all traffic and obstacles on the road. He doesn’t need to pause to look before changing lanes like you or I do.”

  “This is going to take some getting use to. It is sort of like ‘My Brother the Car’.”

  “My, you really have been catching up on TV and movies. My Mother the Car is over 50 years old and was not very popular.”

  “I haven’t actually watched it, but I have heard many jokes and comments about it. Could I drive if I wanted to?”

  “Sure, you just tell Bob to let you take over. Everything acts similar to a normal car except cruise control is verbal. How do you like it?”

  “It’s great. How far can it go on just the flywheels?”

  “Only about 80 miles if starting with them fully spun up. They should work great for commuting. Bob, what is the estimated time to arrival?”

  “Five minutes, Mrs. James.”

  “Thank you, Bob. You notice Kyle that I didn’t make Bob very verbose. He only responds verbally if asked to. Bob, just drop us off at the south-east entrance and then park the car and wait for my call.”

  “Now that part I like. I hate looking for parking spots. Won’t it look strange with no one in the car?”

  “No problem. There is a holographic projection of you or me available. It even appears to move its head and hands like a normal driver.”

  “You think of everything, my love. You are the most thorough person I have ever known.”

  “Why thank you, Kyle.” The car stopped and Annette got out. By the time she had opened the back, Dan arrived to take out the wheelchair and lower Kyle into it. Then Dan and Bob both left.

  “Where did Dan come form?” asked Kyle.

  “Oh, he has been following us. Even though I could lift you out myself, it just doesn’t seem lady like, plus I don’t want to throw out my back. We have to be careful how we use our capabilities as you very well know by now.”

  “I totally agree. I’m just not used to being waited on, even after a month of you waiting on me.” The couple made their way to a restaurant where they had reservations and were seated.

  “Kyle, do you mind if I branch out a little as an entrepreneur? I would like to start my own company.”

  “Believe me, Annette, when I promised you that I am not the dominating kind of husband I was very serious. As you well know, Sharon was very independent and headstrong. I tried to never cross her.”

  “That’s good. See that you don’t cross me,” responded Annette with a sly grin. She leaned over the table and kissed him. “I don’t want you to be henpecked or submissive, however. I like a strong man. I just need a little breathing room sometimes. I see a tremendous business opportunity. I am planning on a smaller version of electric auto-piloted automobile. I am toying with a two-seater with the original Thunderbird body style. I have been negotiating with several firms to make it. It would have half of the power train of our Expedition, two motors, on the rear wheels and two flywheels. I think I can produce them for $100,000. I am negotiating to sell them through Ford dealerships and Ford is in the running to assemble them. There is a huge market of upper middle class seniors whose eyesight and reaction time are on the decline but who desperately want to maintain their independence. At the same time they will be helping the environment.”

  “That is a great idea, Annette. When do you start?”

  “Ford is building the prototype for me as we speak. I need to fly to Detroit tomorrow to look at it. Would you like to come?”

  “I would probably just slow you down. You can record what you see and share your experiences in detail. When will you be back?”

  “I don’t know. Within a few days, I hope. If you come I promise that I will make it worth your while.” Annette sensuously caressed Kyle’s hand that she had been holding across the table. Kyle pondered on whether he wanted to interrupt their time together so soon in the marriage. He had never slept apart from Sharon once they were married and did not think he really wanted to sleep alone for a week. He had declined the invitation initially because he did not think Annette really wanted him along, but now he was confident she did and consented to accompany her.

  Chapter 22 – How to Quiet a Dog

  Kyle and Annette admired the classic lines of the Thunderbird. The prototype was yellow and only differed slightly in outward appearances from the original due to safety features and a lack of exhaust pipes. They took it for a spin with Annette behind the wheel. It had snappy but not head jerking response and handled very well. Annette had programmed it to have the flywheel gumball brakes engage automatically during cornering to prevent roll. The effect was exhilarating on a high-speed turn; this was a real sports car. She decided they should also market a less expensive model that lacked the computer-driving feature.

  As they sat in negotiations with the executives of Ford Motor Company, they found that Ford was very anxious to have the vehicle as their own so that they could use it to meet zero-emissions requirements. It meant they could drop expensive and unproductive internal research and development. They were willing to lose money on every car just for the legal and political advantages. They offered to retain Annette and Kyle as high paid ivory tower employees and put their names on every electric car sold by Ford. They wanted to be able to say that Ford employees developed the vehicle, so they made the deal retroactive. Each would receive a $250,000 a year salary, would only have to show up to work a few days a year and could retain any future non-vehicle related inventions. In addition, Annette would receive a bonus of $1000 paid in Ford stock for every electric vehicle sold. The money was of little concern to Kyle since he was already worth hundreds of millions. He could tell, however, that it meant a great deal to Annette to have her own source of income that she personally generated. Kyle thought he remembered something that a woman’s suffrage activist said many years ago about a woman needing her own purse. He was very happy for Annette. Seeing her so happy made him especially glad that he had come with her on the trip.

  After their return home, both Annette and Kyle were looking forward to a good night’s sleep. Their hopes were not fulfilled due to the constant barking of a neighbor’s dog. Annette could have just turned off her hearing and slept, but she insisted on suffering right along with Kyle. She went outside and determined which yard contained the offending canine. She wanted to call the owners that night, but Kyle insisted that she not. The next morning she set out to confront the dog’s owner. “Mrs. Johnson, your dog kept my husband up all night. You must put a stop to this.”

  “I am so sorry Mrs. James. I don’t know what to do. The dog was never a problem until recently. She just keeps barking. I didn’t know you were back from your trip. We have been keeping her indoors to spare you. While you were gone, we put her in the back yard so that the baby could sleep. We can’t bring ourselves to put the dog down. No one else wants her, of course.”

  “I will take her if that works for your family,” offered Annette, thinking to herself that the dog jus
t needed some discipline.

  “That is so sweet of you to offer. We accept.” Annette had not really expected her offer to be accepted and reluctantly escorted the dog to her home with the dog barking all of the way. She ordered a pre-built shed with extra insulation delivered to the back yard. Annette had attended an obedience school with a previous dog and felt that she knew just what to do. She filled a bottle with water and started to work with the dog. Every time the dog barked she shouted, “Shush, bottle!” and sprayed the dog in the face. She had seen the technique quiet every dog in obedience school, but it did not faze this dog. Nothing worked; the dog just kept barking and barking. Finally, she decided that the dog might be sick and took her to the vet.

  “I’m sorry Mrs. James, your dog has a brain tumor,” said the vet after a thorough examination. She could live for up to a year before dying naturally. I suggest we put her down.”

  “I can’t do that. Would you be willing to perform surgery to remove the tumor?” asked Annette.

  “I see no point in it. Even if the dog lived, she would be a vegetable, if you will excuse the vernacular.”

  “She will be no more brain dead than I am if you let my husband and I assist. I would like to perform the same operation on her that was performed on me. I have a complete record of the operation. We can hire a brain surgeon to assist. I don’t think you have an adequate facility here. I will rent the operating room used for my surgery. You will be paid well for your help. When can you make yourself available?”

  “My partner is providing coverage next weekend. Is that too soon?”

  “I have a way of getting things done quickly. Money is a great catalyst. I will call you with the details.”

  When Annette told Kyle her plans, he had serious doubts. “Where are you going to get the snake chips? We used them all on you.”

  “I have already worked that out with Nate. You used all of the flawless chips on me, but Nate has many slightly flawed chips. The original yields of perfect chips were low. Nate kept all of the flawed chips. He has a handful with at least ninety percent of the snakes working. We will use the new processors. Six should be enough. Dr. Boone will assist. I was hoping you would also help. The fun part will be creating a dog like program. I don’t want it to be sentient, but I want it far smarter than the average dog. I always wanted a really smart dog.”

  “I have learned that what you set out to do, you do. Let’s go for it. Just don’t expect any bonuses from Ford on this one.”

  “Having my husband get a good night’s sleep is bonus enough for me.”

  The operation was a complete success. Shelly, as Annette had named the dog, required no training at all. Everything was already programmed into her. She responded to verbal, radio transmitted, sign and ultrasonic commands and could respond with simple information. She understood the Adamic language and English. If she were a human her IQ would be about 80. Best of all, Shelly could use a regular toilet. She would lift the lid and seat with her snout and then squat over the toilet. Lowering the seat back down was trickier. If she just used her snout, it slammed down. If she used her mouth to control the decent, it left drool. Annette decided to assign Shelly a toilet downstairs and let her leave the seat up. Annette frequently took her to play with the Johnsons’ children. Shelly was programmed to act like a dog when playing dog games and to be very gentle with children. The children loved her.

  Annette and Kyle arranged to visit Megan and her children. They brought along Shelly. As the couple drove up to the modest home, they could see Amanda peeking though the curtains of the front window. When she saw the Expedition pull into the driveway, she ran to the front door. Kyle had transitioned from using a wheel chair to using crutches. Annette and Kyle slowly approached the front door with Shelly trailing behind. Amanda opened the door before they reached it. She was jumping up and down and yelling, “They’re here, they’re here.” Annette reached down and scoped up Amanda.

  “Mandy, we have brought a friend for you to meet. Mandy, this is Shelly. Shelly, this is Mandy.”

  “You’re silly, Aunt Annette,” responded Amanda. “Shelly is just a dog.”

  “Oh, you think so.” She lowered Amanda onto the floor of the living room. “Shelly, shake Mandy’s hand.” Shelly approached Amanda and raised her right paw. “Shake her hand, Mandy.” Amanda tentatively took the dog’s paw in her hand and raised and lowered it.

  “That’s very impressive,” commented Megan who had entered the room with Carl in tow. “Thank you for coming. The kids talk about you guys all the time.” She gave Annette and Kyle each a big hug. Shelly gave a short bark followed two seconds later by another short bark.

  “Shelly needs to go potty. Can she use your toilet?” asked Annette. Amanda giggled. “She is fully potty trained,” assured Annette.

  “This I have to see,” responded Megan. “Come this way, Shelly.” Megan led Shelly, who obediently followed, to the closest bathroom. She watched as Shelly lifted the toilet seat using her snout and then squatted over the toilet and did her business. She jumped back down and reached up with her left paw to flush the toilet. She then looked to Megan and then to the toilet seat as if asking her to lower it. Megan complied and Shelly left the room.

  “What are these things?” asked Amanda, pointing to Kyle’s crutches.

  “They’re called crutches. They help me walk,” responded Kyle.

  “Why do you need help walking?” asked Amanda.

  “That’s a very good question, Mandy,” responded Annette. “Kyle hurt himself rescuing me. Megan, would you mind if I show them a little video of my rescue?”

  “That would be fun,” responded Megan. Annette had purchased copies of the footage owned by all of the news stations that were at the scene, covering the event as well as videos taken by bystanders on their cell phones. She had also incorporated her own personal recordings of the events. She inserted a DVD into the player and turned on the TV. Megan sat in the chair and Annette and Kyle sat on the sofa. The kids ended up on Kyle’s knees.

  Megan turned sad as she watched the video. Kyle had rescued her financially with the trust funds, but what she had really wanted was for him to carry her away in his arms and propose to her. Now those hopes were dashed. Shelly sensed her mood and nuzzled her legs. When Megan spread her legs and started petting Shelly, the dog slowly eased her way into Megan’s lap. By the end of the video, Megan was hugging Shelly and found herself greatly comforted. After the video, the children played with Shelly. Megan was amazed at Shelly’s gentleness and tolerance of the children’s abuse. Annette took Megan aside in the kitchen. “Megan, would you like me to leave Shelly with you for a while? I brought a bag of her food in the car.”

  “They kids would love it, but it would be hard for them part with Shelly when you want her back.”

  “You can keep her as long as you like. We never wanted a dog. I felt sorry for a neighbor and took Shelly off of their hands. Besides, Kyle and I worry about your safety, living without a man in the house. Shelly is also a good watchdog. Don’t let her gentleness fool you. She can be extremely aggressive in defending her charges. She can even act as sort of a babysitter, watching the children and keeping them from straying beyond the boundaries that you set. Just explain what you want to Shelly. She will understand and obey.” Megan threw her arms around Annette’s neck and hugged her tightly.

  “Thank you so much. You and Kyle have been so wonderful to me.” She wept on Annette’s shoulder.

  Becky Larsen, Josh’s fiancée, had finished her mission and returned home, but Annette and Kyle had not yet met her.

  Kyle began walking and doing minor arm activity such as driving. Annette dove into her next project, an electric, computer controlled boat. It used the same power sources and motors as the Expedition. The 26-foot inboard/outboard was small enough to tow behind the Expedition but was big enough to be very comfortable. Nate and Nancy and Josh and Becky joined them on the maiden voyage. Kyle was concerned about the Expedition’s towing capabilit
y, so for the maiden voyage they went to a lower elevation reservoir, Willard Bay, located north of Ogden, bordering the Great Salt Lake. When they arrived at the boat ramp Annette took over and began issuing orders. “Kyle and I will prepare the boat; everyone else just get in the boat with your gear. Kyle went to the rear of the boat and removed the tie down straps and inserted the drain plug while Annette loosened and unhooked the front loading strap and hook. Kyle and Annette then joined their friends in the boat. Bob, the Expedition’s sentient computer, backed the boat into the water. The boat, controlled by its own computer, Bobby, automatically backed off of the trailer and Bob drove away, eventually finding a parking spot and parking himself.

  Annette was an experienced water skier and wanted first turn. It took her a few tries to get up on one ski. Once her electronic brain had worked out all of the dynamics of her body, the ski and the boat, she did very well indeed. She began jumping the wakes and eventually was doing a 360 degree spin while in the air. After Annette finished she invited the others to try. Becky stood. “I have only skied a few times, but I would like to give it a try.” Becky had been wearing a wrap and removed it. Underneath was a modest but very attractive, one-piece bathing suit. Kyle had not previously closely observed Becky’s figure but did so now. At six-one, Becky had very long legs. Her build was very athletic. Her body was lean and muscular in a very feminine and graceful way. Josh noticed the look on Kyle’s face.