Rick Carter's First Big Adventure (Pete's Barbecue Book 1)

by Samuel Belcher

  “The archives. I told you.” Mr. Ball answered. The sound of his voice prompted a series of electronic sounds in the darkness. They were clicks and power hums followed by a feminine voice.

  “Voiceprint confirmed. Manager Ball, series 256168, authorization and activation of level ten archive functions recognized. Welcome back, Mr. Ball.” It said with a very cheery and decidedly electronic way.

  “Good morning, computer.” Mr. Ball answered back.

  “You know they did an archive thing in the Star Wars prequel?” Rick pointed out.

  Mr. Ball seemed surprised. “What’s your point?”

  Rick shrugged. “The prequels sucked is all. I thought I would just point that out.”

  “Now, I’m not following you.” Mr. Ball shook his head.

  Rick grunted again. “What you can ramble on about books and I can’t throw in a Star Wars reference?”

  Mr. Ball sighed. “Let’s begin shall we?” He moved a little further into the faint light and turned around to face Rick. “I must emphasize the delicacy of the information I’m about to share with you, Rick. There are few here at Headquarters who know anything about what I’m about to tell you. But, given what we’re up against and where you’re headed in the Company, its imperative that you know at least this much. The archives will help me illustrate things and show you using recordings, video, and pictures of the story and how all of this happened. Ready?”

  Rick was uncertain. “You make it sound like a carnival ride.”

  Mr. Ball made no expression. “Not really, no. Let’s get on with it.” He looked up into the light. “Computer access archives 1beta through 27alpha. Prompt on my voice and track.” He looked back at Rick and smiled. “Let’s go back to the beginning and then we’ll talk about the Unified Reality Theory.”

  The Unified Reality Theory is one of those rare and vastly interesting things that only come along once in an eon. It’s rare because there just aren’t that many groundbreaking theories popping up nowadays and it’s vastly interesting because…well, it really isn’t all that interesting but it is important. It ranks among the pantheon of groundbreaking theories such as the Theory of Relativity, the Theory of Warped Space, or the Theory of Transmutation. Unfortunately, very few people know anything about it or how it’s supposed to work or have even heard of it. Test this assertion out if you feel so inclined. We invite you to ask any physicist that might be handy if they’ve heard of the Unified Field Theory. Chances are you’ll get a smug retort and an unkind hand gesture in reply. It’s been around for a long time, though, much longer than Einstein, Plank, and Newton. The author was a man of ancient understanding and a lot of free time. Those who do know about it, mostly just the six members of the cosmologists and nuclear biologist’s club in Waterbern, North Dakota, consider it a load of crap. But, there’s been more than one person in history that’s tried to prove this theory correct by putting its postulations into practice. One of the biggest advocates, not surprisingly, was the one man who discovered the theories true implications: Mr. Campbell.

  Rick looked away from the 3D slide show playing in front of him in large life-sized display. “Okay, I’ll bite. Who’s Mr. Campbell?”

  A three-dimensional picture of a man appeared suddenly in front of him. But, it wasn’t a picture. It was the full-size silhouette of a man with no single feature available.

  Rick was confused. “What’s this?”

  Mr. Ball nodded. “We don’t have any pictures of Campbell on file.”

  “Camera shy?” Rick asked.

  “No, the files were deleted.” Mr. Ball quickly informed him.

  “Who could do that?” Rick grew concerned.

  Mr. Ball looked at him sternly. “The Boss. Let’s continue.”

  The Company defines the Unified Reality Theory as a short route to a long disaster. It was developed as a means of suggesting what would occur in the event of a massive reality seal. The theory itself is 53 pages of linear equations that all reach the same conclusion: the reality streams can, in theory, be separated and sealed off from one another permanently. In so doing, so the theory goes, there would be no more tears, disruptions, crossovers or spills to deal with. All realities would continue unimpeded and in singularity. Of course, the methods proposed in the theory to bring about this separation and sealing are all unfortunately of the nuclear disaster sort. They involve various exothermic reactions using megatons of energies released by nuclear fission. Say, uncomfortably enough, a large nuclear reactor and some well- planted explosives. All of this energy would have to be released in or about the exact spot of the reality Nexus, or the center of reality. The theory doesn’t go into detail about the possible origins of said nuclear materials, but it’s clear by the end of it that in order to implement it, a nuclear disaster would have to occur, or, at least, a focused delivery of massive amounts of nuclear energy. Either way, a lot of nuclear energy would have to be employed and a source of that energy would have to be used.

  Rick wasn’t sure where all of this nice informative holographic entertainment was leading to. His posture and his confused look made this evident to Mr. Ball.

  “Don’t worry. I am going somewhere with all of this.” The older man informed him.

  “Well, that’s fine but I still don’t know who Campbell is.” Rick quickly shot back. “Or, even if I should care.”

  Mr. Ball took a deep breath. “Mr. Campbell was a Manager, like me and Tabert, a very long time ago.” He finally just blurted out.

  This grabbed Rick’s waning attention. “A very long time ago? Like before you?”

  “No, not before, but with. We all three started out together in this business, Rick. A very long time ago.” Mr. Ball nearly breathed out the memory.

  “How long ago?” Rick suddenly asked.

  Mr. Ball stopped and thought over the question. He hadn’t been asked that question in…well, a very long time. “Let’s see: this is the 21st century so subtract…before that…younger…let’s see, about ten thousand years ago, give or take a few decades either way. There’re several decades I’m not even sure happened.”

  Rick was slightly startled. “That’s impressive.”

  “Yes, we all three started out together, hired by the Boss to handle this organization back when it was just a mere dozen agents and a handful of records keepers. We were on the ground floor. Heck, we were the ground floor. Things were different back then.” Mr. Ball confided.

  “I should say so. That pre-dates the abacus. What’d you write on? Stone tablets?” Rick wasn’t amused.

  Mr. Ball looked sharply at Rick but simply chuckled in response. “We had means. Back then we took care of most of the field work. We were given that ability by the Boss. We didn’t have any of this.” He waved his hand at the frozen 3-D images in front of him. “But, then the job was simpler back then. Not, so many wrong avenues and decisions throwing us down the back alleys and side tracks of reality. It’s much more complex now. Each of us was hired for something we possessed, an innate character if you will.”

  “You were given the ability?” Rick asked. “Do you mean you could reality travel, too?”

  “Too?” Mr. Ball was curious what Rick was implying.

  “Like Tormodis. You could travel at will like he does?” It was an obvious point that Rick could not leave alone.

  Mr. Ball shook his head in agreement. “Yes, very similar. We all three could, in fact. But, that was not the innate character I was referring to.”

  “I’m starting to understand your fascination with Tormodis then,” Rick added.

  “What? Oh, that. That’s more Tabert’s fascination really. It’s another matter, but the thought had crossed our minds. No, I was referring to other abilities. You see Tabert was always the master organizer, the man who managed the details. And that’s what he does. He’s a detail person. Campbell, on the other hand, was the number cruncher, the figures guy. He saw the universe through the lens of equations.” Mr. Ball seemed amused at the quick summati
ons of his partners, both past, and present.

  “And you?” Rick threw in.

  “Me? Well, I’ve always been a people kind of person. I’m more of the practical expert. I see things through the eyes of the people involved.” Mr. Ball confessed.

  “Makes sense, I suppose. But, ten thousand years is a long time to keep doing one job.” Rick tried to relate in a way he knew was entirely impossible for a mere mortal to do.

  “Yes, a long time. So long, in fact, that many things have been forgotten along the way.” Mr. Ball confessed. “For instance, Ball is not my real name.”

  “Nooo. Really?” Rick sounded shocked. “I would have thought Ball was a common name ten thousand years ago, along with Hoof and Grunt, or whatever from wherever you came from.”

  Mr. Ball laughed. “I’m afraid where we came from is classified, so is our original names. Which is for the best because I don’t think I remember it. Now, back to Campbell. It’s his story I wanted to tell you. You see I think he’s the one behind all of this. In fact, Tabert and I both think it.”

  Rick stopped, unable to grasp what was just said. “What? The stuff in Guam? This Campbell is behind all of this?”

  “We suspect he is, yes. But, there are complications.” Mr. Ball informed him.

  Rick rolled his eyes. “There’s always complications. What now?”

  “I don’t think he’s alone.” Mr. Ball said with a grave voice.

  Rick’s expression grew more serious with the ominous sound of the Manager’s voice. “Tell me about Campbell.”

  Company regulations require that every new employee pass a strict background check that is composed of at least 37 references dating back to birth, a DNA sample for deviant gene analysis, an IQ test composed of 793 questions about advanced astrophysics, translinear mathematics, and reverse quantum mechanics in addition to a physical screening that includes a marathon run followed by a triathlon and concluded with a 25,000 foot freefall parachute jump. Since these regulations have resulted in exactly zero qualified applicants, a somewhat less stringent approach was informally adopted by Management in the third millennia B.C. It involves just a name, some housing reference and the ability to keep your mouth shut. The point of this is that not every regulation serves a practical purpose and that sometimes they need to be broken for everyone’s safety.

  “Campbell was my friend.” Mr. Ball started, his tone was heavy with memory and regret. “He was the closest thing to a best friend I suppose I have ever had, like a brother. We all started young and fresh and full of optimism. It was the foolishness of youth, the first two thousand years or so, you know how it is when you’re that young.”

  “No, I don’t,” Rick added.

  “Anyway,” Ball continued with only a small pause, “we worked together in those days. Campbell was good at his job, Tabert was, and is, too. It’s just he is well, Tabert, you know?”

  “I think I have an idea. A jerk.” Rick answered.

  “Yes, that sums it up well. But, he’s a useful jerk. That’s why he’s a Manager. He does care about the job and reality but he just has problems relating that.” Mr. Ball tried to defend his old partner.

  “A jerk,” Rick repeated.

  “Indeed. But, this is about Campbell, not Tabert. Campbell was a man of action. He may have been a numbers guy but he was also the first into the fray sort-of-speak and he loved to find the best possible conclusions to things. He was like that. He calculated, he moved and he finished. Everything was like that to him. That’s why he got wrapped up in the Unified Reality Theory in the first place.”

  “Uh, huh. I don’t follow.” Rick admitted.

  “Well, you see the Unified Reality Theory suggests, or postulates rather, that it is possible to seal permanently all of the reality strings into one master string. You see, of course, what that means for reality?” Mr. Ball adopted his formal school teacher pose which he rarely got to use anymore.

  “Maybe. But, pretend like I don’t and fill me in.” Rick tried to keep a semblance of what the conversation was about.

  “It means that the reality tears and branches would cease, that there would be no more crisis to fix and that we all would be out of a job.” He responded.

  “That’s good, right?” Rick thought it sounded like a positive approach to the on-going problem.

  “It was complete rubbish. It would never work and never stood a chance of working.” The images in front of Mr. Ball changed to a computer simulated image of the reality streams represented by glowing worm-like projections that undulated about like live things, intertwining around each other, breaking reforming and then slithering off into space like a distracted child. Then they suddenly came together, forced by an immense power surge that nearly blinded them. They came together quickly and wrapped themselves into one like the theory suggested. But, the moment of calm organization was brief because the image began to blur and pull inward, ultimately unraveling at a source further down as the reality streams returned to their normal state. “You see. It works for a little while, just briefly and then it tears itself apart trying to come back to a normal state. There’s no unifying the fields. But you couldn’t tell Campbell that. He became obsessed with “fixing” the problem, so obsessed that it costs him his job. He was fired and sent packing.”

  “Wow.” Rick contemplated. “Okay, then what happened?”

  “What happened was that Campbell was far too resourceful a person to walk off into the sunset and leave the thing be.” Mr. Ball explained. “He had planned, planned well and he had resources that we didn’t know about. He was let go back in 1899. But he had money and he had the skill. When he found Tesla he had a partner, too.”

  “You mean the Tesla?” Rick asked.

  “Yes, the Tesla. For a while, we kept track of them. Campbell bought a factory in Jersey, set up shop and laid low. It was so quiet we didn’t pay it any mind and, to be honest, I never thought he would do something that would hurt people. He wasn’t that kind of person. We’re talking about a man who took time to rescue insects from pedestrians on sidewalks. He was anything but a sociopath. Then, one day while Tabert and I were occupied with other things, he ups and vanishes.” Mr. Ball moved through a 3-D image of Campbell’s factory from the early 1900s, looking at it as he moved like he was trying to figure something out or spot some detail he might have missed.

  “To where?” Rick was left to ask.

  “That’s it. We don’t know. He vanished completely, out of reality. He could not be tracked.” Mr. Ball told him as the 3-D image changed to a picture of Tesla’s funeral. “All we know is that Tesla didn’t go with him and he remained quiet until his death. But, he knew something, that much is for sure.”

  “How can you guys lose track of someone? You monitor reality.” Rick was confused.

  “Believe it or not, there are things even we don’t know.” Mr. Ball waved his hand, and the image of a tall building appeared, in the sunlight of a bright afternoon. It looked like a bank building but was very plain on the outside and unmarked. “We were left with that mystery until the crap hit the fan in ’68.”

  Rick looked at him suspiciously. He had heard that year mentioned a lot lately.

  Mr. Ball continued, putting his hands behind his back, as he paced in a small circle deeply reflecting on the past. “There were a lot of bad things that happened that year. USS Scorpion went down with all hands, the TET offensive erupted in Vietnam, Robert Kennedy and Martin Luther King were both gone. A lot of things going on meant a lot of work for us. But, really the first indications appeared back in 1965. There was a blurp on the radar as they say. The blurp was a momentary lapse of movement in the streams. We thought nothing of it at the time. But a few years later, amid all of the other things, the big one hit.” The images changed to a whirlwind of activity, pictures of things falling into a black void, like cities crumbling over the edge of the world into nothingness. Things, people vanished, whole portions of reality stretched like a rubber band. “This happened.”
He indicated. “As you can see we had our work cut out for us.” The images changed from one to another showing the terrific amount of destruction and chaos. “The tear was big. But, as it turned out, the tear wasn’t the biggest problem we had.”

  Rick looked at him in awe. “There was something bigger? This looks like the apocalypse.”

  “Yes.” Mr. Ball readily agreed. “We’ve been through several apocalypses. But it turned out there was a side issue going on at the same time that was bigger. And we almost missed it entirely.” The images changed to two different pictures, side-by-side, of newborn babies.

  Rick was confused again. “Okay, babies? I’m not seeing the end of the world here.”

  “Neither did we, at the time.” Mr. Ball turned in his pacing and faced the image. “I mean look at them. They’re adorable little bugs aren’t they?”

  Rick didn’t follow him and grunted something inaudible to that effect.

  Mr. Ball turned slowly to face Rick again. “I’m sure you’ve already heard. I know Pete has filled you in on our little reality conundrum with Roger and Mel? Take a look at those baby pictures. Would you ever suspect that the two of them, in reality, would signal a mass panic in the Company think tanks? All the eggheads were running around like a red-ant hill set on fire. But, these two cuties turned out to be our biggest problem yet. They grew up completely unaware of each other until they became friends with you in second grade in William’s Landing. Then they came together, and reality began to warp slowly from the pressure. We sent our best man in to handle it. But, that didn’t work out as planned.”

  “You mean Pete didn’t eliminate one of them for you.” Rick quickly asserted.

  “He made a command decision in the field. Our agents are trained to do that. But, others weren’t as pleased with the outcome. It left too many details unattended, too many loose ends.” Mr. Ball looked down. “But, that wasn’t the issue. The real problem was that they existed at all. You see,” he looked back up, “they were born from a single event.”