Creative License

by Lynne Roberts

  “Are you saying that because you used me mercilessly earlier?”

  “And I fully plan on using you again,” she teased.

  He squeezed her hand, pausing in front of a bar. “Let’s go in here.”

  “What is it?”

  He shrugged. “Just a bar. I thought we could grab a nightcap.”

  Lily narrowed her eyes. He was up to something and she determined what that was as soon as she stepped inside. “A Karaoke bar? Really, Caleb?”

  “Ah, it’s not going to hurt anything. We’ll have a drink and listen for a while.”

  She threw her best dirty look at him but followed him inside. Through a tiny reception area, Lily could see an illuminated stage surrounded by small tables nestled in the gloom. Music blared from speakers set around the room.

  As the made their way to an empty table, a woman walked up to the stage and took the microphone. Caleb seated Lily and whispered in her ear that he’d be right back. The butterfly touch of his lips on her sensitive lobe sent chills throughout her body. She watched as Caleb walked to the bar to order them both drinks and noticed other women watching him too. A surge of jealousy burned in her chest.

  He came back a short time later with a White Russian and a scotch. “You remembered,” she said.

  “Are you surprised?” She shook her head and sipped the drink. She’d discovered the White Russian in Vegas and had termed it the best thing she’d ever tasted. She hadn’t had one since then. They sat in companionable silence. After the woman finished, a man took the stage and then soundly murdered Van Halen’s “Jump”. Caleb leaned closer to Lily to be heard over the crowd. “You could do better.”

  “Not that song.” She disagreed, but the urge to jump on stage grew. After a woman did a passable interpretation of Pink’s “Don’t Leave Me,” she became restless. She loved the feel of a microphone in her hand. The stage lights, the crowd.

  “Go ahead. You know you want to. Who do you know here besides me? What’s it going to hurt?” Caleb muttered into her ear.

  When the announcer stepped into the lights and asked who was next, Lily drained her White Russian and stood.

  “That’s my girl.” Caleb smiled.

  Lily walked to the front of the tables, her body shaking despite her liquid bravado.

  “I see we have a taker.” The announcer handed Lily the microphone.

  Caleb watched Lily walk up to the platform. She seemed so collected and serene, as though she belonged there. She whispered something in the announcer’s ear and then closed her eyes when the first strains of Evanescence's “Bring Me to Life” played. When she opened her eyes, a transformation had taken over her face. He recognized a performer when he saw one.

  His skin pebbled when the first verse flowed effortlessly from Lily’s throat. She worked the audience, but her gaze kept finding him. Pride, awe and respect mingled in his breast. He’d known she could sing, but he’d never heard her perform. Her voice growled out the low notes and rose smoothly to hit the higher range.

  When the music faded, the bar erupted in applause, several people rose to their feet, clapping. Caleb made his way to her and shot a dirty glance at the man approaching Lily from behind, wrapping his arm possessively around her. He bent to touch his lips to her ear. “Glee club, my ass. You rock.”

  She giggled, a sheen of sweat glistening on her skin. Her brown eyes sparkled as she attempted to smooth her hair away from her face.

  “You’re also sexy as hell. Let’s get you home before I take you against the nearest wall.”

  “That sounds like a plan.” They wove around the tables toward the door.

  The cool air rippled over her skin. She’d forgotten the thrill of the stage. Maybe Mrs. Patterson had been right. Maybe she needed a hobby, an outlet, a place to let go. On that stage, she’d felt more alive than she’d had in a long time, except when she was with Caleb.

  She’d always lived her life so carefully, afraid to make a mistake. But was it really living or merely existing? Emotion clogged her throat. How had Caleb known she needed this? “Thank you.” She wrapped her arm around Caleb’s waist and he stiffened. She looked at his face and then followed his gaze.

  A willowy blonde stood on the sidewalk a short distance in front of them. As Lily’s gaze darted between the woman and Caleb, the blonde turned in their direction. The woman’s tanned skin gleamed under the lamplight, her hair perfectly coiffed and falling in soft waves around her face to the small of her back. She wore a sundress and sandals and Lily was suddenly aware that she was covered in sweat.

  “Arianna,” Caleb said as the woman approached.

  Lily did a double take. This was the ex-fiancée? This Greek goddess? She swallowed, feeling suddenly frumpy and untidy. Caleb pulled away from her to accept Arianna’s hug and a kiss on either cheek. She thought the woman held Caleb a little longer than was appropriate.

  Arianna’s ice blue gaze brushed Lily and then fixed back on Caleb as though Lily was beneath her attention. “So how have you been, Caleb?” Her voice was a low seductive purr.

  The first strains of anger tainted her thoughts. This woman had no right. She took a step back. Did she?

  “Fine. Thank you.”

  Lily couldn’t gather any information from Caleb’s tone. Was he happy to see his ex-fiancée? Sorry?

  Arianna’s perfect full red lips turned up at the corners and she reached a hand and placed it on Caleb’s forearm. “Good. I’m glad.” She didn’t remove the hand as her gaze fell on Lily. “And who is this?”

  Lily suddenly wanted to punch the smug look off Arianna’s face.

  Caleb shuffled. “This is…um. This is—”

  “Lily.” Lily put an end to Caleb’s stuttering and offered her hand even as something, some hope, deep inside her died. In the face of his ex-fiancée, Caleb couldn’t even remember her name.

  Arianna took her hand in a limp handshake. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” She turned back to Caleb. “I really must run, love. But please, call me, okay?” She glanced at Lily again then turned her smile back to Caleb. “I’ve missed you.”

  Caleb nodded and accepted the kiss and then looked down at Lily, for all the world appearing unconcerned that her heart had just broken in to a million little pieces.

  Chapter Ten

  Lily walked next to Caleb, but felt a thousand miles away. He hadn’t even remembered her name. When faced with the Greek goddess Arianna, Caleb hadn’t even remembered her name. She walked into the apartment with numb limbs, headed back into the bedroom and froze, staring at the bed. Had it been only that afternoon that they’d made love in that bed? It seemed like a lifetime ago. Slowly, she took the ring off her finger and set it on the dresser next to the wooden box, watching the light gleam on the thin gold band. Caleb entered the room and wrapped his arms around her. Lily accepted the comfort as well as the pain his embrace brought. By tomorrow, this would all be a dream. “Where’s my suitcase?” she asked.

  Behind her, Caleb stiffened. “Do you have to pack tonight?”

  “I’d rather not do it in the morning.”

  “You’re tired.”

  She turned around and laid her head against Caleb’s chest, listening to his heartbeat, breathing in the rich masculine smell of him. “It has to be done. I might as well get it over with.”

  He kissed the top of her head, retrieved her suitcase from the closet and laid it on the bed. Lily let it fall open on the comforter and then moved to the closet for her dresses. She shouldn’t have brought so many clothes, but she had wanted to be prepared for everything. Too bad nothing had prepared her for falling in love. She bit back tears. She refused to cry. Caleb hadn’t even remembered her name. She glanced up to see sorrow cross his eyes. What was real? She didn’t know anymore.

  He cleared his throat. “I’m going to get some water.”

  Lily watched him go through the haze of tears.

  Caleb walked into the kitchen and paced the small area. Sorrow lanced his breast. She was lea
ving. He’d known she would, he’d tried to prepare himself but the reality of it… He wanted to smash something. Rip something, anything, to shreds as though in destroying it, he’d somehow lessen his pain. Taking a deep breath, he stopped and put his hands on the counter. He could hear her in the bedroom, opening drawers, moving across the floor. He couldn’t watch.

  Seeing Arianna tonight had further cemented in his mind how perfect Lily was for him. Arianna was all surface, empty. Lily had depths he’d only just begun to discover and he wanted to, he could spend the rest of his life discovering Lily. He pictured himself walking into that room, begging her to stay, but he couldn’t do that to her. He’d already asked her once. She had a life, a life that didn’t include him. She wanted stability, a big house in the suburbs, respectability—things he couldn’t give her.

  He shook his head. But in his mind, she was his more than in name. When he’d attempted to introduce Lily to Arianna, he’d almost called her his wife and had stopped himself just in time. He didn’t know how Lily would have reacted. He could ask her again, beg, do whatever it took to convince her to give them a chance. The latch on the suitcase clicked closed and he knew he was a coward.

  Lily emerged from the room, dragging the bag and placing it by the front door, and then walked to the kitchen entryway. “I’m done.” Her smile was a bit wobbly.

  “What time do we leave in the morning?” Caleb’s voice sounded strange to his ears, as though he was listening to someone else speak.

  “I don’t want you to take me to the airport. I’m going to call a cab.”

  Caleb opened his mouth, but Lily shook her head. “I don’t want to say goodbye to you there. I’d rather say all our goodbyes here.”

  In two strides, Caleb had Lily in his arms. “Lily, I… I…” he murmured into her hair. He wanted to say everything, but had the words for nothing.

  She pulled away and placed a finger against his lips. “Just make love to me, Caleb.”

  He nodded and led her into the bedroom.

  Even three hours later, the sound of the door shutting still echoed in the small apartment. Caleb stared at his home without seeing it. He sat on the couch, absently staring at the blank walls.

  He hadn’t slept, waking in the middle of the night to watch Lily sleep, his eyes feasting on the sight of her, breathing in the scent of her body and listening to the gentle sigh of her breath. And then she’d woken up and time had sped. She left. He’d cleaned the apartment from top to bottom. Every surface gleamed. With an aching heart, he’d even torn the sheets off the bed, burying his face in the material to catch her scent before he carried them downstairs to the laundry room. They now lay in a spring-fresh pile ready to be put back on his bed.

  He slowly turned, weighing the shabby furniture, the mismatched dishes drying in the rack. How could he have been so stupid? Lily, who came from the Wedgewood and Waterford crowd, could never have lived with bargain basement central. Disgust and anger burned in him, blurring his vision. She was going back to where she belonged. He should be happy for her, but he wasn’t. She wouldn’t even let him take her to the damn airport, give him those extra thirty minutes with her.

  Maybe for her, the weekend had been just a tryst. But like an idiot, he’d fallen for her, again. Now all he could do was wait for the divorce papers. He stood and grabbed his keys off the counter. Damn if he’d stay here one moment longer. Even scrubbed clean, Lily haunted every inch of the apartment.

  Lily stepped into Logan International and without glancing at the signs, headed toward baggage claim. The scent of greasy, sugary foods mixed with coffee and body odor. Her stomach heaved. She hadn’t eaten anything since her dinner with Caleb the night before. She wove between people, in a hurry to pick up her suitcase and then her vision blurred. What was she hurrying for? What was there to go home to? She slowed as she passed the security checkpoint.

  “Lily?” Her sister emerged from the crowd.

  “Sharon.” She threw her arms around her sister, fighting tears. “What are you doing here?”

  “Can’t a big sister pick her baby sister up from the airport without the third degree?” Sharon teased, but the lines around her eyes were more pronounced and her make-up wasn’t as flawless as usual.

  “Of course.” Lily examined Sharon’s eyes.

  “How did it go with the hubby?”

  Without warning, Lily burst into tears.

  Sharon’s arms closed around her. “What did he do?”

  Lily shook her head, but the tears kept falling.

  “Lily, answer me. What happened?”

  “He was wonderful.” Lily accepted a tissue from her sister, wiped her eyes and blew her nose.

  Sharon’s dark eyes softened. “I’m sorry, sweetie.” She grasped Lily’s hand and patted it. “Come on. Let’s get your things and go.” Lily took comfort in Sharon’s touch as they waited for her luggage and then headed toward the parking garage.

  Once they were inside her sister’s Mercedes, Sharon placed her hands on the wheel but didn't turn the ignition. “Patrick is having an affair.”

  Lily gasped. “Oh, Sharon, are you sure?” Sharon nodded and then let out a sound between a laugh and a cough. “He used the wrong credit card to buy her flowers a few weeks ago. I did a little snooping.” She rubbed her eyes.

  “What are you going to do?”

  Sharon turned tired eyes in Lily’s direction. “What can I do?”

  “You could leave his ass.”

  “Is this goody-two-shoes Lily speaking?” Sharon attempted a smile but only one corner of her mouth turned. “No, it just isn’t done. I’m not ready for that kind of gossip. I don’t want to start over.” She breathed in. “Momma says the first one is always the hardest.”

  “What?” Lily’s voice rose. She knew her parents’ marriage wasn’t full of affection but an affair? She grabbed her sister’s hand.

  “Did you really think Daddy was faithful? I found out when I was in junior high. I walked in on him and his secretary.”

  Lily blinked. That was right around the time Sharon cleaned up her act. “But Mother…”

  “Sometimes you can be so naïve. Mother knows, she’s always known.”

  “Divorce is not the anathema it once was.” Lily tried.

  “Lily, please. It is for us. You know as well as I do that appearances must be maintained. Patrick is running for state assembly and Daddy, well Daddy… These things happen. Patrick won’t leave me. It’s just a dalliance on the side, entertainment.”

  Lily leaned against the car’s plush leather seat and stared through the windshield at the grey concrete walls. “What will you do?” Her voice sounded dead to her ears.

  Sharon started the car. “I just hired a new gardener—a beautiful, strong, new gardener.” Her voice gained in strength but her eyes still sparkled with tears.

  Chapter Eleven

  Her living room felt somehow foreign. Too big, sterile, empty of life. Of Caleb. She stared at the soaring ceilings. The heaviness of the empty space settled on her shoulders and slowed her step. Her gaze brushed the custom drapery that hid a magnificent view of the city. The click of her heels against the wooden floor echoed down the hall, punctuated by the slight squeak of the suitcase’s wheels.

  Pausing at the doorway to her room, she took in the large bed, dark wooden posts contrasting with the snow white duvet and pillows, but seeing another bed filled with warmth and passion. She blinked to break the spell and lifted the suitcase, setting it heavily on the chest at the foot of her bed. Unzipping it, she flung it open and stared blankly at the clothes inside. She pulled out a blouse and held it to her chest. Was it her imagination, or did it still smell slightly of Caleb? Stop it, this melancholy nonsense is not like me at all. Get on with it.

  Methodically, she sorted through the clothes, separating them into piles on her pristine bed. Some to take to the cleaners, others to hang back in her closet, until only the bags holding her shoes were left. Taking a deep breath, she removed the bla
ck sling backs only to feel an additional weight in the calf-colored bag. She reached in and retrieved a small box. Even before she opened it, she knew what she’d find inside.

  Sliding down the bed to settle on the Aubusson rug, she stared at the thin golden band and the note: This belongs to you.

  The candle flickered, blurring the colors of the flower arrangement and reminding her of a watercolor she’d seen in Caleb’s studio. What would he do if he were here? Would he watch it, memorizing how the colors blended so he could reproduce it back in the studio?

  “Earth to Lily?” Lily blinked and turned to Stewart. As he smiled, his pale blue eyes crinkled at the corners in his tanned face.

  “Sorry.” She picked up her wine glass and put it back down without drinking.

  “You seem a little distracted lately.” He laid down his fork with a perfectly manicured hand.

  Lily glanced at the other members around the table. Her parents sat speaking in animated tones to Stewart’s parents. An ideal scene. Then why did she feel like she was only a spectator?

  “I’m just tired.” This time she took a sip of her wine.

  “You’ve been working too hard since you returned from your vacation. Dad says you’re burning the midnight oil.”

  Oil on canvas. Would everything remind her of Caleb? It had been three weeks. Three weeks of working until she was too exhausted to think. Three weeks of reminding herself she’d done what was the best for both of them. Of trying not to remember. She'd gone shopping with her mother and sister and attended a few parties like an automaton, but she couldn’t remember who she spoke to or what she did there. She should have been glad to be back in her apartment, among her things, but she wasn’t. Every detail, perfectly selected to match and blend with everything else, lacked personality. She considered selling it or at least painting the bland beige walls, but couldn’t find the energy to do either.

  Glancing around the table, she took in the restaurant. One of Stewart’s favorites. Besides the occasional gleam of crystal or flash of a bejeweled hand refracting the candlelight, the room was dim, sedate. Completely what she’d grown up with and expected, but her frustration mounted. What would happen if she simply stood up, threw her napkin down and said enough was enough. She was going home.