Guilt Trip

by Pat Simmons

  He walked to the waiting room and gave them an update. Ace squinted at Minister Thomas and then took his seat. He wasn’t about to tell another man that his woman wanted to see him. Ace was a Jamieson. He may be stubborn, but not stupid … well, at any rate, not at the moment.

  Completely worn out, he could use some of Talise’s fluids to jump-start his adrenalin. Starving, he went in search of a vending machine. A sugar fix would have to give him some temporary energy.

  When Ace returned to the waiting room, Minister Thomas was missing. With three candy bars and a bag of chips in hand, he marched back to Talise’s room. Sandra couldn’t stop him.

  The minister was at her bedside, holding her hand. Talise had dozed off again. Stuffing a handful of chips in his mouth, Ace crunched, trying to figure out how God would punish him if he physically ousted the guy from the room.

  Ace decided whatever punishment God would hand down probably would be harsh if he messed with one of God’s anointed. So he moved to plan B and claimed a chair from the hall. Situating it on the other side of her bed, careful of the cords streaming from the monitor, Ace posted guard there.

  Minister Thomas gave him an expressionless look and Ace returned it with his poker face. Taking Talise’s other hand into his own, he gently squeezed it and leaned his head against the wall. The last thing he saw before his lids drifted closed was his mother coming into the room and then backing out, shaking her head.

  Talise was discharged midday on Saturday and told to get plenty of rest. She was thankful to Sandra and agreed to return to her house for the remainder of the weekend. She needed the respite, but she had one stipulation. Ace had to stay away from her.

  Sandra agreed. Ace didn’t, and he didn’t plan to abide by it.

  Talise slept most of Saturday afternoon and evening. Sandra spent the day nursing her back to health, waiting on her and providing nourishing meals. Although his own room was vacant, his mother banished Ace to sleep in the living room on the rollout bed. “I promised Talise that I won’t let you near her while she recuperates. We have to abide by that, son.”

  The sadness in his mother’s eyes pricked his heart. But he didn’t travel all this way to be denied access to the woman he both loved and disappointed. Ace had a mandatory meeting on Tuesday morning. He had to be at work and on top of his game. His livelihood was at stake, and he couldn’t let his out-of-control lifestyle affect that.

  “Mom, I know things aren’t looking good for me right now, and I deserve Talise’s cold shoulder and more. My family turned against me and the only person I have left is God. I do love Talise. I always have, but only God can keep me away from her.”

  Sandra nodded. “Then I’ll pray that Jesus helps you.” With that assurance, his mother proceeded to give him an earful about responsibility and the power of love. At one point, it sounded more like Sandra was talking about herself rather than Talise’s needs.

  That night, he barely got any sleep. The rollout bed was just as uncomfortable as the hotel mattress. Before he drifted off to sleep, Ace prayed, “Lord, help me to get Talise back, please.”

  Early Sunday morning, Ace was determined to defy his mother and take his chances with Talise. While Sandra was distracted with a phone call, he made a beeline to Kidd’s old room. Tapping softly on the door, Ace opened it to find Talise sitting up in bed. She was enjoying the pancakes and fruit his mother had prepared for her.

  “Oh, you’re still here? Humph.” She ignored him and returned to eating and watching her TV program.

  “I’m getting ready to head back, but I wanted us to talk. Tay, I want us to clear the air.”

  “Done. The smoke you left behind dissipated into clear skies,” she stated with a hand motion sweeping the air. “Go away. I release you from all responsibility.”

  Isn’t that what he initially wanted? “I may be late coming to this party. But you’ve forgotten, I got this party started and I’m not leaving.”

  “You think you can come and go, in and out of my life, and be like your father? Your mother helped me to see the error of her ways. I told you earlier, Ace. I want nothing from you, not even your name.”

  Ace was trying to keep his temper, but he exploded. “That’s where you’re wrong! I’m not going anywhere! That baby is a Jamieson—as is his father—me,” he exclaimed, pointing at himself. “I’m not my father! I never have and never will cheat on you!”

  As their argument escalated, Talise yelled and grabbed her stomach. Fear swept through Ace as he hurried to her side.

  “What’s wrong?” His heart raced. Moving the tray from her lap, he knelt by the bed.

  “The baby kicked me.” She continued to rub her stomach.

  Ace watched in awe at the baby’s slow movement. He was about to reach out and touch her stomach, but Talise stopped him.

  “Don’t ever touch my body, ever again,” she scolded. Her eyes misted.

  “God, I deserved that.”

  “Humph, among other things, Ace.”

  Ace didn’t want to leave her, not like this, but he had to get back to work. He stood. There were no words to say in defense of his actions. Kidd was right. The only thing he had going for him was prayer. And, so far, that wasn’t working.

  Going to the door, he glanced over his shoulder. “The damage is done to your heart, but God is my witness, I will mend it.”

  “It may already be too late,” she managed to say, as he closed the door.

  Once he was back downstairs, his mother gave him a tongue-lashing for upsetting Talise. “I had hoped before you left, you and Talise would talk. But the only thing I heard was yelling. It took all within me not to intervene.”

  “Thanks, Mom. It’s good to know you haven’t completely defected to the other side,” Ace said, sarcastically. Shaking his head, his tone changed. “She’s so beautiful. Thank you for being there for her when I should have been. How is she making it? Does she need anything?”

  “She needs to know you love her. That’s all a woman ever wants in life, especially when she’s pregnant. But Richard has been filling that gap.”

  “Humph. I’m not worried about that dude.”

  “You’d better be,” she scolded. Then after a brief pause, Sandra filled him in. “Talise hasn’t asked for a dime. She’s looking ahead and I know she’s saving like crazy for the baby. Of course, she wants time off to spend with her child when he or she gets here. Although it’s probably best for her, the airline cut back on her hours.”

  She gave him the full story. “Talise does my hair now—and a good job, but she’s had to turn down many of her clients. Her feet swell if she stands too long. Besides, she’s not getting any rest at her apartment with an extra house guest. That’s why I invited her to spend some time here with me. And, believe me, it’s been my pleasure. She is so sweet.”

  Three people in that apartment? That’s way too many, he thought. “I’m surprised Lois would go for that.” Ace rubbed the hairs on his face, which had officially become a thin beard. His determination was even greater to get back to Boston and straighten things out. He didn’t want Talise suffering at all.

  Whipping out his wallet, Ace counted out eight-hundred dollars to his mother. “I’ll send a thousand every month. I wish I knew the amount of her share of the rent. Better yet, she needs to get out of that overcrowded place.”

  Sandra suspiciously eyed the bills she was holding. “Aaron, this is a lot of cash you’re carrying. You’re not … gambling again?” She swallowed. “You gambled on your relationship, and I’m sorry to say you’ve lost, son.”

  “I’m traveling, remember? I don’t like plastic. And it’s not over yet. I don’t believe God’s going to let me lose. Well,” he stretched, “I’d better get back on it. Damascus is a long road.”

  “Huh?”

  “Let the minister know, I will be back—soon.” Ace hugged and kissed his mother and left.

  Chapter Forty-Eight

  Once Talise was back at her apartment, she was able to se
t up a video chat with Sinclaire. She couldn’t wait to give her sister the details of her crazy weekend.

  “Let me ask you this. If Richard wasn’t around, would you give Aaron another chance?” Sinclaire quizzed.

  Shaking her head, Talise didn’t have to think over the answer. “This isn’t about the minister. It’s about Ace devastating and deserting me. He didn’t look back.”

  “Until now. He’s a man. They’re slow learners, not only in the head department, but with their hearts too.”

  “So you’re pulling for Ace?” Talise couldn’t believe her.

  Sinclaire gave her a tender smile. “I’m pulling for you.”

  Sometimes her sister’s wisdom was mind-boggling. Their video chat ended too soon but with a much-needed prayer. Afterward, Talise kept praying. Her tears mingled with each petition, asking God to stop the hurting that resurfaced when Ace arrived. When she finished, one thing came to mind: two men holding her hands at the hospital.

  A few evenings later, she and Gabrielle had dinner at Church, a popular neighborhood establishment near Fenway Park. One side was the restaurant; the other side was a club.

  As Talise savored the taste of her veggie burger sliders with goat cheese and pumpkin seed pesto, Gabrielle enjoyed the fried chicken pot pie dumplings with cranberry chutney.

  “I’ll tell you, Gabrielle, either it was my hormones or the baby’s keen development, but I don’t recall the baby kicking so much as when Ace was around.”

  “Doesn’t your book say the baby will begin to recognize voices? Maybe he knew his dad was talking.”

  Talise stuck out her tongue. “One, the doctor doesn’t have to tell me. I know I’m having a girl. Plus, I’m just barely twenty-five weeks and that’s not supposed to happen until week twenty-seven.”

  Gabrielle waved her hand in the air. “Regardless of whether it’s a boy or a girl, your baby is ahead of his or her time.” She scrunched up her nose.

  “I’m taking a poll. What would you do in my shoes?”

  Swallowing, Gabrielle took a sip of her tea. “I like happy endings. Remember, I started a romantic handbook, of sorts. The man drove twenty plus hours to see you, left you money, and attempted to apologize. That’s a noteworthy entry in my book.”

  Gabrielle added, “To me it sounds like when the prodigal son came to himself. I think Ace came to himself after wasting time being a lousy boyfriend. That’s a fairy-tale ending.”

  “The past six months have been anything but a fairy tale. It’s been a constant rerun of a horror movie.”

  “I know. I just believe everyone deserves a second chance. At the least, hear him out. Some people are born with stupidity. Others pick it up along the way.”

  “You haven’t even met Ace. Whose side are you on?”

  “That precious little baby’s side. Whether or not you and Ace resolve your differences and unload your baggage, you’re going to have to be cordial. Plus, it appears the Jamiesons are determined to be in your life. Let them. Above everything else, you’re a new creature in Christ. Let the Holy Ghost lead you.”

  “I have gotten closer with his side of the family. Eva and I talk a few times a week. Although she doesn’t mention Ace directly, I can hear the whimsical tone in her voice. She’s planning activities for our babies like we live next door.”

  Smiling, Gabrielle’s eyes twinkled.

  “What?”

  When Gabrielle shook her head, Talise continued. “Eva invited me to their next family game night. This time, she couldn’t give me her word that he wouldn’t be there.

  “I really want to go too. I’m piqued by their concept of getting together once a month to play games with an African American theme. I love that idea and being around the Jamieson wives.”

  “Go. You might as well get accustomed to seeing Ace. Your child is going to want to know his or her father. Besides, you live in Boston, and he lives in St. Louis. It’s not like you’ll see him every weekend.”

  Chapter Forty-Nine

  I want my old job back.” Ace called his former supervisor in Boston after he returned to the St. Louis office.

  “Your position was filled not long after you left. As a matter of fact, I had to hire two people to replace you,” Melvin said.

  “What about another department? I’ve got to get back home.”

  “You’re stuck in the Midwest for another seven months.”

  Seven months wouldn’t work. If he had to drive to Boston every weekend to make things right, so be it. However, Ace hadn’t recovered yet from his recent marathon drive. His bottom still had a hangover when he got behind the wheel of his car. Six more weeks, and then he could fly.

  A few hours later, Kidd called him at the office. “Hey, are you coming or not?”

  He’d been hounding Ace about attending the upcoming Jamieson family night. Ace hadn’t realized that another month had passed since he stormed out, for no other reason but to save face.

  This time around it would be at Malcolm and Hallison’s house. Between the two brothers, Malcolm was the most sickening. He loved his wife and constantly made sure she knew it, along with everybody else.

  Life seemed easy for those brothers. Even Eva stuck by Kidd’s side when he was getting his act together. Talise didn’t want to be in the same room with Ace, but the Jamiesons had one common trait. They were stubborn.

  “Man, the only thing on my mind is convincing Talise that it’s worth giving us another try. My first visit didn’t go as I had envisioned, and I’ve got to get back to Boston.”

  “I hope no time soon, especially not this weekend. Let’s hang out at Malcolm’s, and the next time you go, I’ll drive with you to see Mom.”

  Ace perked up. Another driver would definitely help. When Kidd committed, he never reneged.

  His body said deal. His heart said no, he couldn’t wait. But common sense ruled.

  “See you Friday night.”

  Friday night, Ace’s heart wasn’t into playing games. He didn’t care how fascinating or educational. His mind was stuck on stupid when he thought about Talise. His actions had cost him dearly. Even if she had trapped him, he still loved her. If he could forgive her for that, then they could move on.

  Ace parked behind the row of cars. Judging from those present in front of him, it seemed as if he was the last to arrive again. As usual, whoever hosted the game night had their home shining like a lighthouse, with a light beaming from every window.

  He got out and strolled up the walkway. His eyes were fixed on the large, oversized living room window of Malcolm’s home. Ace thought back to the Friday nights when he drove to Talise’s apartment. She would wait and watch for him, perched high above in her bay window.

  His heart ached to turn back the hands of time. As he approached the front door, Ace strained his eyes. His mind was definitely toying with him. Malcolm didn’t have a bay window, but the outline of the woman standing on the other side of his cousin’s picture window reminded him of Talise. Shaking his head, Ace blinked. If he was starting to have hallucinations, it was time to get some medication.

  The screams of the toddlers, laughter of the adults, and overall loud voices greeted Ace when he opened the door. It was kept unlocked until everybody arrived. M. J. and Pace raced to him for attention.

  Ace grinned at their antics. The noise hushed as he scanned the room, exchanging greetings with the group. His heart almost stopped when his eyes landed on the woman near the window.

  “Tay?” Ace swallowed. What was she doing here at game night? What do you care? She saved you a long haul, his mind quickly reminded him.

  His steps were slow like a predator, as he made his way toward her. “Tay?” he repeated.

  “Hello, Ace,” she said, reserved and nonchalant. The stormy eyes he recalled from their last argument were now blank.

  Hallison strolled out of the kitchen. “Hey, Ace, you made it. Let’s eat. Jamieson children, wash your hands.”

  Did I walk into the Twilight Zone? he thought. T
alise was here in St. Louis and he had another chance.

  Ace smirked at that, as he headed to wash his hands. The younger children had beaten him to the restroom. They seemed to be competing to see who could be the first to win the three-minute scrub rule. Rinsing off their germs, they argued and played in the water.

  He detoured to the kitchen sink. When he strolled back into the dining room, Kami occupied the seat next to Talise.

  “I have a bag of candy, and you can have some, if you let me sit there,” he lowered his voice near Kami’s ear.

  The girl shook her head. “Candy is bad for my teeth.”

  Couldn’t a brother get any help from his family here? With a pleading look, he glanced at his cousins, who were watching him. His brother finally said in a mellow voice, “Eva got Talise here. You’re on your own.”

  Picking up the chair with Kami on it, Ace moved her over and opened up some space. He grabbed a seat and sat it next to Talise. Then he made eye contact with everyone around the table to see if anyone wanted to challenge him on his actions. The men smirked.

  “Would you like me to fix you a plate?” Ace looked into her eyes. They were as bright as he remembered them from happier times. Even when she was sick, she was beautiful. Tonight she was gorgeous.

  “Nope. Hali is getting it. Thanks.” As if on cue, Hallison rested a plate with plenty of vegetables and chicken fingers in front of her. After everyone had served themselves, the family stood to say grace. Ace looked at Talise again. Her head was already bowed. He stared at her stomach—his child.

  As the elder Parke, Papa P., began the blessing, Ace refocused.

  “Lord, in the Name of Jesus, first, we thank You for dying on the cross for us. It’s through Your blood You have wiped our slates clean from sins, lies, deceptions, wrongdoings, and other impurities …”

  When he finally made it around to blessing the food, Ace relaxed as Amens echoed among them.

  “Grandpa, I hope my food isn’t cold. That was a long prayer,” Pace joked.