In the end, I decide to portray their deaths as a murder suicide. I write that for reasons unknown to anyone, after Travis was killed my father and grandmother were seen arguing on the roof. I write that witnesses claim to have seen him fatally shoot her, before jumping to his death. I end the letter with my desire to still join our two families, requesting that he consider allowing me to marry Katherine like originally planned.
I take the finished draft to Laura to proof read, she scans the letter quickly before setting it on the sofa beside her.
"What is your real plan Grayson?"
"I want to kill Lucas, with my bare hands preferably."
"You do realize that if you kill him, they will marry off Kat and have her rule Axiom, right?"
"Yes."
"And you are okay with this? Because they won't let you marry her. Generals are not allowed to rule over more than one city."
"That's why I want to marry her before I kill him."
"Then who will take his place? Who will control Axiom?"
"Why should I care?"
"You should care because Lucas may not be the only homicidal lunatic living there. I would bet credits that his friends are at least aware of his beliefs, if not supporters of them. What is the point of killing one corrupt figure head if another is just going to take his place? Who's to say that the new General wouldn't be worse?"
"So what do you suggest?"
"Get over this obsession you have with her and find her a husband; someone you trust. Then kill Lucas."
"Not an option."
"Oh, get over yourself, of course it is an option. It may not be one that you like, but it is one that makes sense."
"I agree," says Amber from the door. "We are in a dangerous place Grayson. I know you love that girl for some indiscernible reason, but it is time to think strategy. Your duty is to protect us. You are the General now and your first concern should be this city, and then your family. Laura and I are the ones that matter, not her."
"You are just saying that because you are jealous of her," I grumble.
"Jealous? Hardly," she huffs. "Maybe at one time I was, but what is she now? Useless. If you marry her anyway. I say you rewrite that letter and just say we are grieving. Leave out the part about marrying Katherine. At least delay the wedding plans for a bit while you think it over."
"I'll consider it, but that is all I promise. I have given up too much already, I don't want to lose her."
"Think of it this way," Amber sneers. "If you marry her, Lucas' death will be in vain. We will lose any advantage we may have had and we will be alone in this world. If you and Katherine both marry strategically, Lucas' death will be sweet justice, untainted by political failings. We can simply enjoy watching him die."
"I see your point."
"Seeing my point and agreeing with my point are two different things."
"I said I would consider it Amber, don't push me on this!"
"Fine," she says waddling off, "But you know I am right."
I rest my head in my hands. I can't believe I am even thinking about letting Kat go after all of this. Travis died because I couldn't let her go. What kind of monster would that make me if I couldn't give her up for my brother, but I would give her up to murder someone?
My mother's face flashes through my mind. I watch her as she falls, terrified and alone, before crashing to the ground. She didn't ask for this. All this time I thought she was brave, confused and selfish, of course, but brave to be able to follow her convictions so fully. I know I would never have the courage to end my own life. I didn't agree with her choice, but I thought it was at least her choice.
She died afraid, and I will do anything I can to make sure Lucas does as well. If giving up Katherine is the only way to justifiably put my hands around his neck, I will. I will see my mother avenged.
"Hello, earth to Grayson," Laura says, snapping her fingers. "I said, what about me?"
"What about you?"
"I want to get married too. I should have been married a long time ago."
"You really want to discuss this now?"
"Why not now? I don't want to grow into an old maid while you plot your revenge. Besides, you would need the approval of the other Generals to take any action against Lucas and picking my husband would be the perfect excuse to get them here."
"Damn it Laura, you are a genius!" I exclaim, jumping to my feet. "That is absolutely brilliant. Go meet with the Historian tomorrow and get a list of all the eligible men from the other cities. Try to include one from each of them."
"Even the more . . . exotic ones?" she asks, raising her eyebrow inquisitively.
"Even them."
"Wonderful!" she laughs, excited. "I have always wanted to see a man with naturally dark skin; I think that would be very exciting. Of course Father wouldn't even allow me to consider them."
"I didn't say you could do anything of the sort. Just because I need them here doesn't mean that I am going to allow you to marry one of these . . . exotic men."
"Careful Grayson, you may be the General but I can still kick your behind."
"Once. You beat me once, and I was five years old. I think its time to bury that victory."
"Not a chance."
32 – Confessions
KATHERINE
I dream of Jack and I walking through the forest, the bright stars shining coldly through the trees above our heads. Tomorrow the soldier will return to our cabin dressed in his severe green uniform, a shiny black gun at his hip, but we won't be there. As quickly as the soldier left our home, we abandoned it, shucking what sense of a life we had built in an effort to stay together. Now we pick our way through the trees, desperate to put distance between the soldier and ourselves.
Jack is quiet and solemn, his strange mood shadowing us from the moment we left the cabin, deepening with every mile. Looking serious and afraid, his silence is not an easy one, and while his body is here with me his thoughts are miles away and days ahead. It hurts that he won't tell me what is bothering him, but I don't push or let on that I'm worried.
When I ask him where we are going, he simply shrugs, claiming to be picking his direction at random, but I know ours is a path he has traveled before. He doesn't hesitate or question, but moves forward in a determined panic, never pausing to decide which way to turn next. First east, then south, we travel through the woods like wraiths, silent and soft, stepping over fallen branches and decaying leaves like dancers in a ballet, suppressing our fear with a mask of hope and moving to the rhythm of our desperation.
We make camp in the shelter of a giant, fallen cedar; it's branches cradling us in its warmth. Jack is still closed off from me; I can feel him pulling away even as he holds me close amongst the shadowed trees. Without a fire, the night is long and sleepless, the sounds of the woods a frightening reminder that we are not alone. It makes me miss the cabin, the safety of its four walls and the feeling of belonging somewhere, but as much as it hurt to leave our home, I would give it up a hundred times if it meant I could spend my life with Jack. He may not be ready to share his thoughts with me, but I will follow him to the ends of the Earth to be there when he is.
I wake up in Jack's arms. Embarrassed, I roll out of the bed quickly leaving him to snore softly on the mattress. Sneaking down the hall into the bathroom, I remember the squeaky floorboard and sidestep quickly to the right, and then smile like a fool when I realize what I've done. I've remembered something!
After splashing water on my face, I stare at myself in the mirror. What happened to that girl in my dream? I feel so cold and aloof compared to her. She wasn't afraid to submerge herself in emotion, wasn't afraid to live life in the fullest possible way. Jack walks in and I meet his eyes in the mirror, the third time I have made this connection with a man. First Grayson, then Travis . . . the tears begin to fall before I realize I am upset. Jack wraps his arms around me and lets me cry.
"I miss Travis so much," I sob.
"Of course you do," he says softly,
rubbing his hand against my back. "He was your friend for a long time, even if you only remember the last few months."
"I see his face every time I close my eyes. He haunts me. I wish so badly that I could remember him the way he was, but all I see is his blank stare in the carriage, the empty shell that was left of him. I try to distract myself, to forget . . . but he sneaks up on me when I least expect it, and I feel like I'm losing him all over again."
“It's okay," Jack says. "It is natural to feel sad, you shouldn't run from those feelings or try to forget your friend. You just have to learn to live with the pain. It's hard at first, but eventually it will become bearable and someday you will even be able to think about him with a smile instead of tears."
"And how do you know that?" I say, wiping my tears.
"Because I know you."
"You keep saying that," I sniffle. "But how? How do you know me?"
"We grew up together."
"In Axiom?"
“Yes, in Axiom. My father was your father's second in command," he says rolling up his sleeve to display his mark. "They were good friends and I spent most of my childhood with you and Lucas. We never had feelings for each other back then, at least not any that we would admit, but we were close."
"You said you didn't like me though."
"I said you were mean and cold," he laughs. "I never said I didn't like you. Of course I liked you, I can't remember a time without you. We played together and did all our schooling together, you may have driven me crazy, but you were important to me."
"Is that why Lucas chose you to hide me?"
"That and he knew I trusted him enough not to ask questions," he says, shaking his head sadly "He figured you would feel more comfortable with me even if you didn't remember who I was. I had no idea I was doing anything other than keeping you safe. Your parents had just been killed and Lucas was convinced the killer would come back for you. I didn't know Lucas was going to wipe your memory until the day he did it. I still don't know if it was the right thing to do, but something had to be done for you."
"What do you mean?"
"You were hysterical and out of your mind with grief. As soon as your parents were discovered, Lucas sent the army out to hunt for you. I wanted to go, but Lucas forbade it, said he had something else he needed me to do. A few days later, he brings me to this glen, and you were there, injured and inconsolable. He had me stand there in the tree line, out of sight and just watch how miserable you were. By the time he brought up the memory pill, it seemed like the merciful thing to do. I just didn't want you to hurt anymore."
"He didn't offer any explanation? Just, here's my sister crying in the woods, let's drug her and hide her from everyone? You weren't the least bit suspicious?" I scoff.
"Of course I was! He said the soldiers found you with two men in the woods. You were hurt and just . . . I have never seen anyone so distraught. Lucas was afraid you would lose the will to live if we didn't do something, and he thought bringing you back to the city would put you in danger. He was my best friend, and I didn't have any reason to believe he didn't have your best interest at heart. I know I was wrong to let him do it, but seeing you happy and calm again, the memories of your parent's death wiped away, was worth the guilty conscience."
I realize we are still standing in the bathroom, and blush while unwrapping his arms from my body. He gives me a sad grin through the glass and lets me go. I still have so many questions but for now I just want to get out of this cabin. There is too much here, too much of us. I can't think clearly about my future when I am so completely surrounded by my past.
"When do we head back to the city?"
"We don't," he says, lacing up his boots.
"You are leaving me again, aren't you?"
"Just until I know it's safe. I will be back for you soon, I promise."
"What if I don't stay?"
"I will spend the rest of my life tracking you down. Might as well do us both a favor and stay put for a day or so until I can get back to Veracity and see what's going on."
"Fine, I'll stay, but please hurry. I don't want to be here by myself."
"I'll be back before you know it," he says, kissing me on the cheek. "Lock this door behind me and don't let anyone in while I'm gone."
"Jack!" I call out as he is walking out the door.
"Yeah?"
"I . . . uh . . . just be careful okay?"
"Love you too, sweetheart," he says with a wink as he pulls the door shut.
"That is not what I meant!"
I didn't mean that . . . right?
SADIE
Ever since I decided to run, my feet have been itching to go, and I can hardly stand still long enough to do my chores. My thoughts are racing with ideas and a plan for the future, and my absent mind is causing all kinds of trouble. I've already gotten strange looks in the kitchen for putting salt in my tea and again when I dumped the load of clean laundry back into the wash. Maggie calls it baby brain, but I call it getting caught. I just know that every day I stay is one day closer to losing my baby.
It's time to get out of here. I'm packed and ready, and have just been waiting on one thing: Jack. He will know how to get me out of Veracity and into the elder camp, and after days of waiting, he is finally back. Just yesterday I saw him walking the halls with Grayson, but have not seen hide nor hair of him since. Being stuck in Kat's suite doesn't give me much opportunity to run into him, and I doubt he will be taking any meals in the kitchen with the servants. Tonight is my only free night for the week, and if I can't get a message to Jack in time, I will miss my chance to talk to him.
I'm lying on my bed, resting before dinner when Maggie walks into the room. She makes a noise and calls me lazy before throwing a list at me.
"I need you to take this list of repairs to the General," she says with a satisfied grin, "I'm much too busy to do it myself, and if we don't get that drafty window fixed soon, we will all catch our death."
"Oh Maggie!" I cry, "You are the best! I will take this right away."
Excited I jump off the bed, and after fighting back a quick bought of nausea, head for Grayson's office. I knock on the door and wait, fingers crossed that Jack is inside. Grayson calls out from deep within the room, and I enter, a flood of relief washing over me when I see Jack sitting across from him pouring over a map.
"What can I do for you Sadie?" Grayson asks distracted.
"Maggie sent me with a list of repairs for the suite."
"Just leave them on the desk, I will get to them shortly."
"Thank you, Sir."
As I walk to the desk, I drop a letter into Jack's lap. He looks up quickly and I shake my head. With a frown he pockets my note and instantly a weight is lifted from my shoulders. Everything is going to be okay. Jack will get me out of here. I will keep my baby.
After dinner I sit in the library pretending to read. Bouncing my legs nervously I watch the door, my anxiety growing with each minute that passes. Finally Jack enters the room, taking the seat next to mine.
"This is dangerous Sadie," he says. "What is going on? Why couldn't we meet in Kat's suite? It would be safer there."
"Because if we get caught, I don't want to risk Maggie getting implicated."
"Sadie, what have you done?"
"I'm pregnant."
"That is not what I was expecting you to say," he says stunned.
"What were you expecting?"
"I don't know! Anything but that! How did this happen? Wait . . . don't answer that. What are you going to do?"
"I'm going to hide in the elder camp and I want you to take me."
"For Pete's sake Sadie! I can't take you to the elder camp, I don't have a way in."
"But you said . . ."
"I was just throwing Grayson off. Kat is somewhere else. Somewhere safe."
"I can't stay here Jack, you have to help me."
"Now why would he do that?" Amber taunts from the doorway.
"No!" I wail. "Amber, please . . . please
don't say anything!"
"I will do whatever I please, and Jack here is going to do what's best for him, aren't you Jack?"
"How much did you hear?" Jack asks panicked.
"Enough," she laughs. "I just can't tell you how much walking the halls to try and tame this baby fat has been paying off. All these interesting conversations . . . all this useful information, what's a girl to do?"
"Amber, I am begging you," I cry. "Don't say anything. I will disappear, no one ever needs to know."
"Know what?" she smiles cruelly. "That Kat's lover boy here knocked you up? Now, see, that is way too good to keep to myself."
"That's not what happened," Jack says darkly. "You have no idea what is going on here."
"Don't I?" she cackles. "Enjoy your night together. It looks like I need to have a conversation with the head scanner. Oh, and don't try to leave. I will have the guards keeping an eye on the doors."
"Jack, I am so sorry I dragged you into this," I moan when she leaves the room. "She is such a hateful woman. What am I going to do?"
"It looks like you are going to get scanned," Jack says sadly. "The only thing you can do now is to give up the father and hope they go easy on you. Grayson knows how much Kat cares for you, so maybe he can find you a husband. If we run they will throw you in the work camp for sure."
"This can't be happening," I sob. "I was going to get out. I was going to be free."
33 – Revelation
KATHERINE
Our trek back to the city is a sober one. Jack came for me in the middle of the night, breathless and close to tears, explaining the situation in a jumble of anger and fear. Sadie has been arrested. Sadie is sitting in jail. Sadie is waiting for me. A knot of dread has buried itself deep in my abdomen and with each step it grows larger. I shouldn't have let her go back. I should have done something. I should have protected her.
Naming me as her witness has saved Sadie some time, and given me the opportunity to vouch for her after her scan. Why does Amber have to be such a horrible person? I know this is just a way to get back at me for Alana. Why else would she bother with the love life of a servant?
Veracity (The Seven Cities Book 1) Page 25