Queen of the Demonweb Pits (greyhawk)

by Paul Kidd

  Watching the scene below, Escalla cocked her frost wand.

  "Check it out! Hoo-hoo! Bathing in butterfly milk! Gal after my own heart!" Escalla changed back into normal form, buck naked, armed, and dangerous. " 'Course, I'm still gonna have to kill her nasty."

  In the courtyard below, the black-skinned beauty stood to rinse her hair. Henry stared at her naked figure in shock. "You mean that's Lolth?"

  Escalla stretched and posed. "Sure! Check out her arse! You only get perfection like that in goddesses and faeries!"

  "You can tell just by her bottom?"

  "Yeah. Well, that and the pall of total evil that surrounds her."

  Escalla kept her back flat against the stone wall, looking for a way to creep closer to Lolth. "Come on. Maybe we can get closer." Escalla risked another peek at Lolth. "Hoo-hoo! Natural blonde!"

  She moved onward.

  Henry followed, whispering in fright. "I thought Lolth was a sort of spider!"

  "So she smartened up her grooming habits a little! Now come on!"

  Down in the courtyard, the six-armed demoness finally convinced Lolth to leave her bath. The six-limbed woman was forced to set her notebooks aside, find the goddess a towel, then pour Lolth a drink. The Justicar watched the creature at work, feeling almost sorry for her. The woman's six arms were always busy.

  "I wonder who she is?"

  "Easy." Escalla leaned close and gave everyone a nudge. "See? She's a handmaiden! Get it?"

  A dire glance came from Jus. "You've been working up to that one for a while?"

  "I'm a comedy natural!"

  Lolth was leaving. The adventurers moved swiftly into the castle, following with all due stealth. Lolth's voice could be heard in conversation with her six-armed assistant. They spoke in the language of the tanar'ri-sibilant, hissing, and in Lolth's case, almost beautiful.

  Jus levered open a door. Lolth's voice sounded louder, closer. The goddess was capable of all manner of magical spells. Their one chance of eliminating her was a surprise attack. Jus crept across a bloodstained room to another door, let Cinders listen, and then signaled Henry to take position to open fire.

  "Wait!"

  Escalla dived into the portable hole and returned with a little folded packet. She sprinkled diamond dust over Jus, her wings fluttering and her eyes crossing as she wove her spell.

  "There! Stoneskin! It'll block the first half dozen hits you take." The faerie looked regretfully at the packet, mourning the passing of her engagement stone. "If she lays a glove on any of us, we're finished!"

  Escalla readied a spell. Enid unsheathed her claws. Polk settled his hat, and Henry knelt with his magic bow pointed and ready to fire. The Justicar took one brief look over his comrades, gave a nod, and flung open the door.

  They had reached a balcony overhung with a crushed and broken ceiling. The view looked out over another open courtyard, and the tail end of Lolth's procession could just be seen exiting through a distant gate. Shambling slaves carried milk buckets and clothing. The six-armed demon brought up the rear, three curved swords jutting through her belt.

  Lolth's party drew out of sight. With a glance to make sure they weren't seen, the Justicar led a stealthy advance along the balcony.

  Down!

  Cinders's warning came a split second before a red streak flashed. Jus dropped to one knee, his sword catching a blow that should have smashed his head in two. Sword blades rang-brilliant red against blinding white. A figure tumbled from beneath the ceiling, spinning as it fell, and then the blades crashed against each other in a blur. A red blade hit Jus across the back, spitting sparks as the sword uselessly struck Escalla's stoneskin spell.

  The eagle-helmed warrior had clung upside down between the roof beams. Hissing, it fought in a mad stammer of speed, the red sword like a streak of light as it strove to slaughter the Justicar. Jus blocked the attacks, then Cinders blasted out a massive gout of flame that engulfed the far end of the balcony.

  The cadaver leaped clear an instant before Cinders's flames struck, and it clung to the rafters like a bat. Annoyed, the hell hound fired again, and this time the corpse shot away like an arrow, leaping over Jus's head. The Justicar spun, blocking a sword stroke that sheared at his head. Cinders's flames boiled and thundered along the balcony, sending the others diving madly away. Hovering in midair, Escalla worked the arming slide on her frost wand.

  "Hey, bony! Suck on this!"

  The Justicar swore and dived aside. Enid crashed into Henry and covered him as she threw herself into cover. Cackling with glee, Escalla fired her wand, a blast of ice smashing into the balcony. The undead monster turned agile handstands, bounding away. Escalla followed, playing a storm of lethal cold and razor sharp ice shards all over the creature as it fled.

  "And that, my friend, is that! You took on the wrong gal's squeeze! No one touches the faerie!"

  Deadly clouds of frost cleared. The cadaver emerged, its teeth set into a snarl, silent and deadly. The red sword in its hand sheathed the creature in a glow that had kept it safe from magic.

  The grin fell instantly from Escalla's face. "Holy mother puss-bucket."

  The Justicar struck from behind, blindingly fast, but Recca caught the blow. Sparks showered from their blades, and Benelux screamed in pain.

  That hurt!

  Jus tumbled free, and in his hand, Benelux's gleaming metal showed a scar.

  The red sword! Benelux fluttered in panic. It's full of blood from last time! I think it gets sharper the more blood it has!

  Enid roared and leaped, and Jus swung at the cadaver. They tried to bring it down from both sides. The monster parried Jus, twisted away from a punch that could have snapped its neck like a twig, then turned a somersault over Enid's two hefty claw blows. The cadaver landed at Enid's side and slashed with its sword, ripping a gash along the girl's flank. Blood was instantly sucked into the sword. Enid reared and roared, cracking a wing out to try and bowl Recca over. The corpse jumped easily over the huge wing, then staggered as Henry leveled his crossbow and opened fire.

  The magic crossbow blurred, hammering out five bolts that tore into the screaming cadaver. The monster staggered back, then surged forward again, shot through the neck, chest, and skull. It tore the crossbow bolt out of its own eye, and the wound flared and healed. The withered body glowed with light as the hellish creature rebuilt itself. It started toward Henry, then whirled and parried as the Justicar's blade stabbed a lightning-fast blow at its spine.

  Henry drew his sword and tried to fight, only to have the weapon struck out of his hands. Escalla whirred in with her lich staff, but the corpse leaped and dodged, spinning over her. Only the Justicar held his ground. He locked blades with the monster, then shot his arm over Recca's forearm, trapping him tight. Perfectly partnered, Cinders opened fire. The hell hound's flames blasted into Recca's face, blinding the monster and melting the helmet's surface. The undead cadaver hurled away, then staggered and fell as the Justicar severed its leg at the knee. Enid attacked again, but her blows were blocked, then the one legged monster leaped clear, hurtling back at the Justicar.

  A miss from the red blade hit the wall, and solid granite shattered like porcelain. The Justicar roared and swung his sword down in a blow so massive it drove the undead monster to its knees. Sparks showered as blade met blade. Jus's huge strength kept his enemy crushed to the ground, and he kicked Recca's face with one heavy boot, breaking the corpse's neck, skull, and jaw. The monster ploughed over the balcony and smashed to the ground two dozen feet below.

  "We did it!" Escalla was exultant. "The dead dude's toast! Teamwork rules!"

  Everyone rushed to the balcony rails. Below them, Recca sat, reached hands to his head and reset his own broken neck with a crack. Green blood pumped from his injuries, and where the blood touched his dead flesh, his wounds disappeared. His eyes were still regrowing, but already footsteps thundered as Lolth's guards came to investigate the noise. Jus grabbed Polk under one arm and threw himself back through a door int
o the citadel. The others followed suit, Enid staggering and weak. The Justicar slammed a hand against Enid's wound and sent a pulse of healing magic into her. The wound closed after the second spell, and Jus instantly led the way up a shattered flight of stairs.

  Outside in the courtyard, there were yells and screams. Something had apparently interfered with Recca's healing. The Justicar raced up a flight of circular stairs, pounding hard and fast. Escalla shot through the air and took the point. Enid squeezed the whole stairwell shut behind. They ran and ran until the stairs ended in a door. Jus smashed heavy oak and steel open with one crash of his shoulder.

  The door opened upon a rooftop. Wind whistled, and from this great height, all the world seemed exposed. The flattened, ruined city lay all about. Flooded plains stretched for miles around. To the north, a vast army scuttled, slid, and marched beneath a cloud of abyssal bats. Beside the citadel stood Lolth's titanic mobile palace. The huge machine squatted like a tarantula. Lolth and her entourage were mounting steps into the monster's maw. A gap of fifty feet led from the citadel roof to the spider palace's gleaming back.

  Jus flicked out the portable hole and leaped inside. Henry and a protesting Polk were pushed in after him. Holding the hole in her mouth, Enid gathered and sprang out into the open air. Her wings lofted her effortlessly across the gap, while Escalla flew beside her, covering the jump with her wand.

  Enid landed on the spider's broad metal back-and everything went wrong. Her feet skated out from under her. The metal was as slick as butter. She thrashed her wings impotently, unable to fly, and began to slide toward the ground a hundred feet below.

  Hovering nearby, Escalla landed-had her own feet shoot out from under her, and began to slide. Her wings wouldn't lift her. As Enid slithered past, the faerie turned into a snake, her clothes hanging loose on her coils, and whipped herself out as a lifeline to hold Enid by the paw. Eyes bulging-tail wrapped around Enid and her neck wrapped about a jutting piece of metal, Escalla gagged as Enid hauled herself up to safety and tried to cling flat against the slippery, greasy metal.

  Flailing at the end of Enid's paw, Escalla the snake tried to get a grip on the metal hull. "Jus. Help! We can't fly! Something's wrong! We can't fly!"

  Escalla was being torn in half. The Justicar shot out of the portable hole and slipped. Groping for the magic rope on his belt-a rope taken from an erinyes a few short months before-he grabbed Enid by the scruff of her neck and lashed the rope like a whip. It wrapped itself about a porthole cover. The Justicar roared and tried to hold on, but Enid's weight was too heavy.

  With a ponderous lurch, the spider palace began to move.

  It rose from its crouch, its legs straightening. Hanging desperately on the magic rope, Jus felt the whole world give a sickening sway. Rocking like a ship in a mad sea, the spider palace trundled over the ruins of Keggle Bend. With Enid slipping in his grasp, Jus gripped the sphinx and Escalla, the magic rope cutting into his hand.

  Ringing like monstrous bells, the spider palace's feet crashed over stones and splashed into muddy fields. Jus felt his grip giving way as the palace moved ponderously toward its gate to the Abyss. The magic circle gave off a sickly light. A stench of death, decay, and filth leaped into the air.

  Jus's grip slipped. He roared and caught himself, blood leaking from his palm where the rope burned through his hide.

  "Hold on!"

  Henry appeared in the mouth of the portable hole and tried to stab a handhold into the palace's hull. Escalla turned into an octopus, her flailing suckers failing to take hold of the alien metal. Jus slipped again. The air around them turned thick with sulfurous smoke, ash, and death, and suddenly the whole team fell.

  The bronze hull slipped past in a blur, and then the group was falling free. Escalla turned into a bat. Tumbling free, Enid thrashed her wings, felt resistance, and thrashed madly at the air. She broke the fall and saved them all from death. With a lurch, she crashed into the ground. The universe shook as titanic metal feet thudded to the ground beside them, and the spider palace marched on its way.

  They lay on a field of ashes. The sky above them was purple as venous blood. Distant shapes wheeled and screamed in heavens that stank of death. Lolth's spider palace clanged and crashed, disappearing into the murk with frightening speed-and suddenly the adventurers were alone.

  Escalla fluttered down and returned to form. Henry and Polk had fallen from the portable hole. They lay beside Enid, who blinked in shock, staring at the sudden change of scene.

  Jus sat slowly and looked into the dull, thick air. They sat on a terrace hundreds of miles wide, a flat ridge at the edge of a vast chasm. The Abyss yawned before them-an infinite drop into eternity, ringed by six hundred and sixty-six descending rings of hell. The view was numbing-awesome and horrible.

  The air shivered all about them like a dying scream. Locusts made of wormwood and brass skittered and chittered in the dust. The group could only stare at the vast gulf of the Abyss and shiver. Unperturbed, Escalla beat the ashes out of her little skirt and looked around.

  "Hey, guys! It's the Abyss!" Happy to be making real progress, Escalla clapped her hands. "Well, we're here!"

  Sadly diminished, Lolth-Queen of the Demonweb Pits, Lady of the Drow, and Mistress of Spiders-walked into the control room of her palace. Two succubi worked the controls. Each one seethed in annoyance at having to work. Lolth was greeted by her pack of pet spiders, scorpions, and miscellaneous arachnids, the creatures stretching up to their mistress for a pat. Mistress of all that she surveyed, Lolth allowed slaves to bring her a throne, and she lazily sat down.

  "Morag?"

  The secretary trailed behind the rest of Lolth's entourage. Seeing the drab, skinny creature enter, Lolth held a cup out and demanded tea.

  "Morag, what was all that commotion behind us just now?"

  Somewhere in her treasures, Lolth had written down Morag's true name. An order prefaced with that name would have to be obeyed-even an order to suicide. Morag poured the tea oh-so-nicely, then found an adamantite sugar spoon.

  "Nothing, Magnificence. A brawl in the town ruins."

  "Something attacked my guards?"

  "No, Magnificence. It was lower creatures having a difference of opinion."

  Lolth detected no untruths. She pinned Morag with a careful eye then lounged back in her throne, planted her feet on the back of a squatting slave, and drank her tea. She snapped her fingers at the succubi guiding her palace along the paths of the Abyss.

  "Full speed for the Demonweb Pits." Lolth sipped her tea, found it insipid, and handed it back. "Morag, you bore me."

  The secretary folded up her hands. "Yes, Magnificence. I will try to be more entertaining in the future."

  16

  The foul air shuddered with an immense, unending roar. Bruised and dazed, the party crept carefully to their feet. The dirt beneath felt like volcanic cinders-clinking, hollow stuff that leeched the skin of heat. The air brought no sense of life, wafting thick and dull as a mist of powdered lead.

  The shuddering roar came from a titanic waterfall. A river too wide to see across flowed to the lip of the abyss and plunged straight down. Whole oceans of water thundered into the void, crashing into all six hundred and sixty-six layers of the Abyss on its way to the bottom of the pit. The mist of the waterfall was full of wheeling, shrieking shapes-skull-headed ghosts lost in time and mind. The waters stirred as dark shapes looped and slithered in the deeps. Numbed by the sight, Henry let his crossbow slip in his hands.

  "What is that?"

  Enid, Polk, and the Justicar joined him in staring at the river. Behind them, Escalla did up her clothing, sparing a glance to see what everyone else found so fascinating.

  "Oh, that? River Lethe. That's the little river here in the Abyss. If you wanna see something really impressive, you ought to see the Styx!" Escalla checked the set of her thong-perfect, as usual. "The Lethe flows through about half the outer planes. Crosses whole worlds! This is the muckiest end of it," The faerie
finished tying up her leggings. "There's another river, about half a dozen realities away: Mnemos. Or maybe it's actually the underside of the Lethe. It holds lost memories. Sort of the counterbalance to this one. Hoopy scene, though! Look at the size of this thing!" Escalla held up the slow glass gem to scan it slowly across the scene. "There! At least we can watch it all again and laugh in about two weeks."

  Enid blinked, her gaze still on the river. "Counterbalance? Why does a river need a counterbalance?"

  "Yeah! I told you, this is the Lethe! If a mortal falls in that water, they lose all their memories." Escalla held one end of a tie between her teeth as she affixed her mail gloves. The roar of the river made it hard to hear. "These are the outer planes! A lot of these places are what you guys think of as 'the afterlife.' If you die, you get reborn into one of these other worlds here!"

  "Really?"

  "Hey, trust me on this one. I'm a faerie!" Escalla waved a hand. "They're all out there in the planes: Elysian fields, Hades, Valhalla… and the Abyss! This here is where you go if you've been a real arsehole!" The girl waved her slowglass gem at the river. "The river's like a tool. A lot of gods have their worshipers emerge from the river once they die. You know, a baptismal sort of thing. But what it really does is wipe minds! It makes lost souls into blank slates. Perfect servitors."

  "Servitors?" Enid seemed bemused. "Whatever do you mean?"

  Escalla exchanged a shared glance with the Justicar then hovered up into the air. "All right, these 'god' guys? Hasn't it struck you that they're just beings a bit higher up the power scale than you and I? They're a scam! They're living egos scrabbling for power. But anyway, if you believe in one, then when you die, you become the god's little puppy dog! Born into his afterworld. Maybe you get to live in ease, maybe you get to plow the holy fields and sweep the palace floors, or, if you were a bad boy, maybe you end up here as food for demons."