Scenes from the Epic Life of a Total Genius

by Stacey Matson

  Assignment: The Gratitude Project

  This year our school is participating in a city-wide initiative called The Gratitude Project. It is a year-long program designed to help us all recognize the contributions we make to other people’s lives, and to thank those who have helped us. We’ll be doing short projects during the year to contribute to this project, culminating in a public art display in the downtown library!

  Our class will be starting The Gratitude Project with letters to veterans for Remembrance Day. Please write a thank-you letter to a veteran. You may wish to focus on a freedom in your life that you are particularly thankful for, which may come in the form of an event, a person or even an object that has changed your life.

  Due: November 13

  November 9th

  Dear RJ,

  I just had the best night! Kennedy and I had a History project to do, so she asked if I wanted to do it together! Then she came over! Instead of working, we just ordered pizza and found old monster movies to watch online. It was super fun. And there was this one time when Kennedy said that she was getting scared, and she hid her face in my sweater. She was laughing the whole time, so I just put my arms around her and I said, “I’ll save you from the monster, my darling!” and we cracked up. She was practically cuddling with me. I doubt she noticed, but I noticed. I didn’t want to move in case she moved away.

  It was a whole different feeling than when I’m with Anila. Anila sits really close, and kind of pushes herself into my side, but it’s really comfortable. It’s like how I used to sit close to Mom — like I know she’s there, and I expect her to be close by. Anila used to sit like that at campfire too, and that was good because it was cold out.

  But enough about Anila, tonight was all about Kennedy sitting close to me. It feels so different. I’m so aware of her. Even when she isn’t in sight in a room, I know exactly where she is. It’s like my spidey sense is tuned to her frequency. If I was a superhero and she was a super-villain, I would totally be able to find her and defeat her in battle. She would never be able to hide from me.

  Yours truly,

  Arthur Bean

  I was thinking we could hitchhike to camp and pretend to be lost in the woods and then while we’re there, we could put the camera back. Maybe we could go next weekend?

  R U CRAZY?!?! were u listenning at all to the storeys at camp? hitchhikers GET KILLED ALL THE TIME.

  No. The hitchhiker WAS the killer. And we won’t kill anyone. We’ll just return the camera.

  how about u just leave it in ur closet? its fine. they cant see ur stuff u kno. we r not getting killed over this thing!

  From: Anila Bhati (anila.i.bhati@gmail.com)

  To: Arthur Bean (arthuraaronbean@gmail.com)

  Sent: November 11, 16:09

  Arthur, remember when you told me that you were “very busy this weekend” and “couldn’t hang out”? And then when I talked to you just this morning, you said that you were “studying all day for a test”? Don’t you find that very, very strange, since I saw you today at the mall with Kennedy …

  I know you said that you guys are just friends, but decent guys don’t ditch their girlfriends for their “just friends.” I don’t know what you were doing at the mall, but it sure didn’t look like studying. It looked like you were sitting in the food court laughing and eating fries with Kennedy and a bunch of girls who look like Kennedy. Care to explain?

  Anila

  From: Anila Bhati (anila.i.bhati@gmail.com)

  To: Arthur Bean (arthuraaronbean@gmail.com)

  Sent: November 11, 22:12

  Dear Arthur,

  Avoiding your phone doesn’t make things go away, you know. I’ve been so upset all day, and all I want to do is talk to you, and you won’t answer your phone!

  Anila

  From: Arthur Bean (arthuraaronbean@gmail.com)

  To: Anila Bhati (anila.i.bhati@gmail.com)

  Sent: November 11, 22:20

  Dear Anila,

  I wasn’t trying to avoid you, I promise! I’ll explain:

  I was at the mall today, but I was there with Nicole because she wanted a second opinion on what she should get Dan for his birthday. I was home alone, because my dad had a yoga thing. He called it a sound meditation. Does that mean there is sound, or there isn’t sound? I have no idea, but either way, it sounded a bit weird, so I didn’t ask any more questions. Anyway, he was at yoga all day, and I WAS studying, but then Nicole came to my apartment and said that we should go to the mall. I saw Kennedy and her friends when Nicole was in the washroom, and they called me over to sit with them while I waited. I was only there for a little bit, then I left with Nicole and went back home.

  I promise that I didn’t ditch you! Well, maybe I did, but not on purpose, and not to go to the mall.

  I have to go to bed now, but I’ll call you tomorrow. Don’t be mad anymore. :)

  Yours truly,

  Arthur Bean

  From: Anila Bhati (anila.i.bhati@gmail.com)

  To: Arthur Bean (arthuraaronbean@gmail.com)

  Sent: November 11, 22:38

  Dear Arthur,

  Thanks for writing back. I guess I shouldn’t jump to conclusions, but at the same time, it sure seemed weird! I feel so foolish, being upset before knowing the full story. I’m not mad anymore. :) I do wish you had told me that you were going out with Nicole though. I just like to know where you are and what you’re doing. I miss you when you’re not around!

  Love,

  Anila

  Assignment: Dear Veteran

  By Arthur Bean

  Dear Veteran,

  Happy Remembrance Day! I hope you’re having a great day, and that it is sunny outside. I mostly hope it’s sunny outside for you, since I’ve seen how they make you march down the street and stand at attention for a really long time, even though you are really old. It must be terrible to have to do that when it’s raining, especially after you’ve been through a war. You probably feel like you shouldn’t have to do anything you don’t want to do after that. I think that’s how I would feel.

  Quick question for you: Did you find it really hard to be at war and still have a girlfriend? Did you have any girl problems when you were away? Did your wife or girlfriend want to know where you were all the time? How did you handle that? I bet you had to keep a lot of secrets too, so that you could win the war. That must have been hard on you. But you had to do it, right? For your friends and family to be safe.

  Anyway, I wanted to thank you for fighting in the war for me. I mean, I know you weren’t actually fighting for me personally, but I got a lot out of it. For one thing, my mom told me once that chocolate bars were invented for the war. So I’m pretty thankful that you wanted chocolate bars badly enough to invent them. Those are pretty awesome. And I think that duct tape was invented for you too, which is helpful, because my dad is terrible at fixing things, but duct tape is really good at fixing things. We’ve had one leg of our couch duct taped on for almost a whole year, and it still is standing. But I do mean it when I say “Thanks!”!

  Yours truly,

  Arthur Bean

  Arthur,

  Your letter could use some revising to make it more relevant and heartfelt — I’m not sure about your purpose here. I recognize that your sense of humour can be quirky, but it’s important to recognize when humour is appropriate. Also, remember that not all veterans are senior citizens; soldiers who fought in recent military conflicts like Afghanistan are also veterans.

  Ms Whitehead

  From: Kennedy Laurel (imsocutekl@hotmail.com)

  To: Arthur Bean (arthuraaronbean@gmail.com)

  Sent: November 14, 7:32

  Hi Arthur!

  I just woke up, but I had the STRANGEST dream that I had to tell you about LOL! I dreamed that we were DATING LOL! It was so weird though, because my dream had parts of your movie in it too, so we were kind of in the movie, but we were kind of not in the movie, but we were also kind of making the movie! It’s so hard to explain! Dr
eams, hey? LOL! Anyway, we were running away from these zombies but there was a movie camera there and when the director (who was Ms Whitehead in my dream) yelled “Cut!” we stopped running but we were STILL holding hands! And it was super exciting, but all I could think was, “I’m sure that Arthur has a girlfriend,” and then just as I was about to ask you, I woke up! Isn’t that CRAZY?! What do you think it means?

  Kennedy :)

  From: Arthur Bean (arthuraaronbean@gmail.com)

  To: Kennedy Laurel (imsocutekl@hotmail.com)

  Sent: November 14, 8:03

  Dear Kennedy,

  I think it means you want a part in the movie. :) I guess that’s why I’m so tired today. I was running through your head all night.

  Yours truly,

  Arthur Bean

  From: Kennedy Laurel (imsocutekl@hotmail.com)

  To: Arthur Bean (arthuraaronbean@gmail.com)

  Sent: November 14, 8:06

  LOL! LOL!! OMG Arthur! That is HILARIOUS!!! I’m laughing so hard right now! It’s going to be an AWESOME day! Every time I get mad about something, I’m going to think about this and laugh! LOL!

  You are AWESOME!

  Kennedy :)

  Hi, Arthur! My school has a dance next Friday and I can bring a guest! Will you join me? XOXO Anila

  Of course, it’s my boyfriend duty! Do I have to dress up? I don’t have anything except the suit I wore to my mom’s funeral. But I’d rather not wear that.

  No dress code! Just come looking handsome, as always! XOXO

  I’m so pleased that you can come! I can’t wait for you to meet my friends! This is going to be an amazing night! XOXO

  November 18th

  Dear RJ,

  Robbie told me today that his mom is trying to get full custody of him and his brother. Which is weird, because I didn’t even think his parents were totally divorced yet. Robbie’s super worried, but I don’t think there’s any way a parent can move her kids to another country. That’s never going to happen. Although I guess things would be different if she knew about the camera. Now no one can know. Ever. I hope it’s worth it. This movie is going to have to be amazing.

  Yours truly,

  Arthur Bean

  ZOMBIE SCHOOL

  by Arthur Bean and Robbie Zack

  November 20 Production Meeting Notes

  CHARACTERS:

  A good film is carried by strong and complex characters. Focus on your cast of characters this week, and provide a recap of what you decide. –Mrs. Ireland

  CAST RECAP:

  We definitely are going to have a cast of teacher zombies. Then there’s going to be a Good Guy Army called the GGA. There will be me and Robbie and then two love interests, and one guy who betrays us to the bad guys, but then he gets killed by zombies. There will be more people in the army too, but they don’t have speaking roles.

  There will also be a group of humans who are working against the GGA, because they are stupid and they believe that zombies just need to be loved to turn back into real people. They are called Zombies Are People, but they call themselves ZAP.

  Then we need a bunch of extras to play bodies and extra zombies and maybe werewolves if we decide to put them in. Then there might be some aliens who get in the way too, but they won’t be real people. We’re going to CGI them into the movie afterwards.

  We’ve decided that we don’t need to hold auditions, because we don’t want to have everyone in the school show up and then have to sit through bad auditions. So instead we’ll just ask people to be in our movie who we think will do a good job.

  TO REMEMBER:

  My caracter will be awesome at karate and have a machine gun that blows people apart at the seems. –rz

  My character will be named Zipcode, and he’s the leader of the GGA. –AB

  I think my caracter will be the leader cuz I have a louder voice than you. –rz

  OK, your character can be the leader at first, but then when the traitor to the GGA leads the GGA into the mall at night as a trap, your character will almost die and maybe get a leg or arm ripped off and then my character will take over as leader. –AB

  And then my arm gets replaced with a bionic arm that has a built in gun and all kinds of other usefull stuf. –rz

  There is no need to add more violence to your film; excessive violence is unnecessary. You should also be fully aware by now of the school’s strict policy against guns, real or imagined, in work produced at Terry Fox Jr. High. –Mrs. Ireland

  AV CLUB GUIDELINES — Amended #2

  1. Any student may join the AV Club.

  2. All equipment must be reserved ahead of time and signed out upon use and signed in upon return.

  3. Have fun!

  4. Filming must take place in sanctioned school areas. There is no filming in areas restricted to students, such as the basement, the roof and the staff room.

  5. There will be no guns in the film, and other weaponry will be kept to a bare minimum.

  i ran into kennedy and her stupid bro at the mall today. i thot he was gone for school. that familly sux. hes such a turd.

  Well, maybe he’s not the greatest person, but Kennedy is pretty nice. I don’t know why you’re mad at her. It’s not her fault who her brother is.

  shes the 1 who called my bro a looser 1st. bad jeans run in the familly. wanna come over? i got a new game.

  Yeah. I’ll be there in 30. And it’s genes. Jeans are pants.

  keep that up and ur JEANS will make a great wedgie …

  Assignment: Creating an Effective Setting

  Having a strong feeling of place helps to ground stories for the reader. Knowing more about the setting can bring your reader into the world you are creating. The short story we studied, “A Girl’s Guide to Prairie Winters,” is an excellent example of using place to engage readers. Write a short paragraph about a room in a house using adjectives, details and descriptive language. What can we learn about the inhabitants of the space from the decor?

  Due: November 26

  November 23rd

  Dear RJ,

  HUGE NEWS, RJ. HUGE! I can’t believe what has happened to me!

  After school Catie came up to me and handed me this note from Kennedy. And the note was all about how she’s been too shy to tell me but that she likes me and she thinks it’s not just as a friend. She knows that I have a girlfriend and that I love Anila, but that she just thought I should know that she thinks of me as more than a friend. Then she said that she doesn’t want me to break up with my girlfriend for her, because she would be upset to know that she was the reason I broke up with Anila, so I should just stay with Anila and never mind anything that the note said.

  What???

  Now I have to go to the dance tonight with Anila! How am I supposed to do that?!?

  Yours truly,

  Arthur Bean

  November 24th

  Dear RJ,

  I went to the dance with Anila yesterday. I tried not to think about Kennedy the whole time, and so I focused really hard on Anila and being nice to her friends.

  On the way to the school her dad asked me “What’s new?” and the only thing I could think of was Kennedy, so I tried to talk about school stuff, but then every second sentence seemed to start with “Kennedy and I” and I could tell that Anila was getting upset about it. So then I stopped talking, and just let Anila talk about the Environment Club and their next big outing.

  I met her friends. (I think they’re hippies. They wore really long clothes that didn’t really fit, and two of them had dreadlocks!) She didn’t have as many friends as I thought she did. I thought she was really popular, like Kennedy, but she’s not. Her school is way different than mine too. It still looks like a school, but she calls all her teachers by their first names. Anila seemed so excited to introduce me to people, so I met all her teachers and they said stuff like, “It’s nice to finally meet the famous Arthur. I’ve heard a lot about you.” I guess she talks about me a lot. I don’t think I’ve ever talked about
Anila at school. We danced, even though I’m a pretty terrible dancer, but no one made fun of me. That was kind of cool, since barely anyone dances the fast songs at my school; they’re all just waiting for the slow songs. Even the teachers were dancing, and they were allowed to bring their husbands and wives, and some of them did.

  Now it’s the weekend, and all I can think of is Kennedy again. Maybe I’ll call and ask Luke what to do. He always has the best advice.

  Yours truly,

  Arthur Bean

  Hi, Arthur, best boyfriend ever! I just woke up! All that dancing last night must have tired me out. I had such a wonderful time! All my friends said that you’re awesome, which I knew already …

  Having you at my school yesterday was one of the nicest things ever. I wish so much that I could see you every day. Don’t you wish that too?

  I’m already counting the days until I see you again. I miss you, Arthur Bean! XOXO

  Yeah, last night was fun. Your school is so different than mine! Have a good weekend!

  From: Kennedy Laurel (imsocutekl@hotmail.com)

  To: Arthur Bean (arthuraaronbean@gmail.com)

  Sent: November 25, 19:41

  Arthur!

  Why haven’t you responded to my note! I thought you would AT LEAST call me this weekend or something, and you didn’t say ANYTHING!! Maybe I don’t mean anything to you, even as a FRIEND!!!

  Kennedy :(

  From: Arthur Bean (arthuraaronbean@gmail.com)

  To: Kennedy Laurel (imsocutekl@hotmail.com)

  Sent: November 25, 20:38