Scenes from the Epic Life of a Total Genius
Page 12
k fine. well talk bout it this w-end and come up w/ a plan. but AFTER tryouts.
March 16th
Dear RJ,
Robbie and I tried to come up with a plan to get the stupid camera back, but we came up with nothing! It’s impossible. There’s no way that we can get to camp without it being really suspicious. The best we did was telling my dad that there was a bottle drive for school and saying that there were lots of bottles out on the highway near camp, and that we could stop in to say hi to Tomasz and Halina and get their bottles too, but he said that we could take the ones from the apartment building’s recycling room. Robbie said that he wouldn’t go garbage picking anyway.
Now I still have the camera, and my dad keeps bringing it up in conversation. I don’t know why he’s so interested in the camera. He keeps asking about the movie and how it’s going and how the camera works, and how long I’m allowed to keep it. He’s never shown interest in anything else at school before. I can’t keep lying to him. Well, actually, I can, I just don’t want to. Maybe I can hide it at Nicole’s apartment. Her place is so full of stuff that she’d never find it at the bottom of her wool stash!
Yours truly,
Arthur Bean
From: Arthur Bean (arthuraaronbean@gmail.com)
To: Kennedy Laurel (imsocutekl@hotmail.com)
Sent: March 17, 9:22
Dear Kennedy,
Happy St. Patrick’s Day! I heard you telling Catie that your mom is from Ireland, so are you guys celebrating today? Do you eat a lot of potatoes and watch movies with Sean Connery in them?
Maybe I could take you for a green milkshake at Peter’s. I think they are mint flavoured, but they could be lime. You don’t even need to have a green milkshake. You could have any flavour you want! If you don’t think that you can finish one by yourself, I don’t mind sharing a milkshake with you.
Let me know!
Yours truly,
Arthur Bean
From: Kennedy Laurel (imsocutekl@hotmail.com)
To: Arthur Bean (arthuraaronbean@gmail.com)
Sent: March 17, 13:41
Hi Arthur!
Thanks for the invitation, but I’m busy today! Have a good rest of your weekend though!
Kennedy :)
March 19th
Dear RJ,
Auditions are tomorrow! I can’t wait to see the lineups down the hall for people who want a part. I bet we’ll be there for hours. Today we set up a table with water bottles on it and copies of the audition scripts. I’ve been practising my stone face so that people auditioning don’t know what I’m thinking. It’s really important. I don’t want girls to start crying because they think that they didn’t get the part. I snuck the camera out yesterday so it’s in my locker now. Hopefully I can leave it there from now on.
I hope we get talented people to audition, and lots of teachers. We wrote a juicy part for Ms Whitehead. She better be good enough to play that part.
Yours truly,
Arthur Bean
March 21st
Dear RJ,
I can’t believe it! No one came to our auditions! Not even Kennedy, and I was sure she would come. She said a long time ago that she was going to be in our movie! Instead, Robbie and I had to sit there with Von, waiting for people. Robbie drew some good examples for the gore makeup we need, which was the only good thing from today. Von just kept talking and saying stuff like how people would have come if they knew he was involved, but that he didn’t tell anyone because he didn’t want to be mobbed. I thought maybe everyone was waiting until the second day to audition because they wanted to be memorable, but then today no one showed up either. How can we have crowd scenes and armies if there are only three people in the movie? Robbie said that he didn’t really care and that he kind of liked Von’s idea of making it an animated movie using Robbie’s illustrations, but then I get left out entirely. And it was basically my idea to start with. I’m the brains behind this whole thing! Plus, I doubt that Von actually knows how to animate stuff. I don’t believe anything he says.
Yours truly,
Arthur Bean
Assignment: Tweet Your Book Review
By Arthur Bean
Twitter Feed for Invitation to the Game by Monica Hughes
I hope the “Game” they want to play is a version of The Hunger Games, and that the hippie weirdo Scylla is the first to go. She’s too perky.
The game is totally opposite from The Hunger Games. They can’t die! If only this existed last year. My whole family would have played.
I’m pretty sure I could win the game with just me, Robbie & Luke. No need for Scylla & her hippie ways, or Rich’s complaining. He’s the worst.
Invitation to the Game was pretty good, even though no one died (SPOILER ALERT!). Though why would anyone marry Scylla?
Arthur,
These are excellent Tweets about your reading experience. I’m glad you enjoyed the novel, except for the character of Scylla. It’s interesting that you had such a strong reaction to such a minor character. I’ve always enjoyed Monica Hughes’s books, and I hope that our novel study has inspired you to read more of her work. I know you enjoy science fiction and dystopian novels; if you’d like suggestions for some books similar to Hughes’s, feel free to come chat!
Ms Whitehead
CALL NOTICE FOR ZOMBIE MOVIE!!!
Be in the greatest movie ever made at Terry Fox Jr. High!
PLENTY OF ROLES for teachers!
EVEN MORE for students!
NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY
NO AUDITION NECESSARY!!!!
3:30 APRIL 4 AT THE DRAMA ROOM
Assignment: Personal Novel Study
Choose a novel, either from the school library or from our classroom shelves, that you think you will enjoy reading over spring break. Write a response to the novel in any format you choose. What do you like or dislike about the book? Does it remind you of other books, or inspire you in different ways? How does the author engage you to read on?
Due: April 5
From: Arthur Bean (arthuraaronbean@gmail.com)
To: Kennedy Laurel (imsocutekl@hotmail.com)
Sent: March 23, 10:19
Dear Kennedy,
I would really like to hang out with you this weekend! I never get to see you anymore except at school. Also, I’m going to Edmonton for spring break this week, so I won’t get to see you for a whole week! I know that we will have a ton of fun together, I promise! We can do anything you want to do. But let’s do something, just you and me, OK?
Yours truly,
Arthur Bean
From: Kennedy Laurel (imsocutekl@hotmail.com)
To: Arthur Bean (arthuraaronbean@gmail.com)
Sent: March 23, 15:53
Hi Arthur!
I know I haven’t seen you in a long time! But I feel weird about hanging out, just us. I feel a lot of pressure from you to be something I’m not! I hope that doesn’t make you feel bad! I still think you’re awesome!
Kennedy :)
March 23rd
Dear RJ,
I don’t understand. I barely see Kennedy and she says she feels pressure from me?! I called Luke and read him her email, and he said that she’s just being a girl and that I shouldn’t worry about it, and that she probably still likes me. I tried asking Robbie too, but he told me that he doesn’t ever want to talk about Kennedy and me.
I just keep asking myself: What would the best boyfriend in the world do in this situation? I wish I knew.
Even not dating Kennedy is hard! She’s so complicated!
Yours truly,
Arthur Bean
From: Von Ipo (thenexteastwood@hotmail.com)
To: Arthur Bean (arthuraaronbean@gmail.com)
Sent: March 24, 14:56
Hey, Artie!
I was talking to a bunch of guys and they said that they would be in our movie as a favour to me! They would make an awesome GGA! Most of them are on my hockey team and they said that their girlfriends would be in the movie
too, although a couple of them said that they didn’t trust their girlfriends to hang out with just me because they would get dumped! HA HA! Too funny!
I can rehearse scenes with the guys while you and Robbie are gone this week. Then after spring break we can all get together and do the rest!
Cheers!
Von
March 24th
Dear RJ,
I’m so glad that spring break is here. I couldn’t handle school anymore. All my teachers hate me, and they gave us so much to do over the break! Ms Whitehead assigned an entire novel in one week. On our vacation!
Plus, Robbie was in a really bad mood all week, and then Ms Whitehead called him out in front of everyone for not doing his homework, and he got sent to the office for mouthing off. I tried talking to him about it, but he told me to go bother another one of my loser friends. So I left him alone. Whatever. I don’t need him to be my friend if he doesn’t want. I’m going to Edmonton, and Luke and I are going to hang out all week and it will be awesome. Plus, I bet that Dad will have forgotten about the camera by the time I get home. I really hope so!
I won’t miss anyone in Calgary while I’m gone. I won’t even think about them. Except Kennedy, of course. I’m going to send her a postcard from West Edmonton Mall. Maybe I’ll send her two or three! Absence makes the heart grow fonder, so by the time this week is over, she’ll be obsessed with me!
Yours truly,
Arthur Bean
From: Arthur Bean (arthuraaronbean@gmail.com)
To: Kennedy Laurel (imsocutekl@hotmail.com)
Sent: March 26, 12:31
Dear Kennedy,
I’m in Edmonton right now and I was thinking about you and wanted to tell you how much I miss you! I was at West Ed today and the whole time I was thinking about how much you would love it here! When I get my driver’s licence (I know! That might be planning too far in the future!) we can come up here together. We can go into all the stores and go to the waterslides and stuff. I hope you’re having a really great spring break!
Yours truly,
Arthur Bean
From: Von Ipo (thenexteastwood@hotmail.com)
To: Arthur Bean (arthuraaronbean@gmail.com)
Sent: March 26, 16:01
Hey, Artie!
I hope you’re having an awesome time in Edmonton. I made the opening credits for Zombie School. They look really professional. I took a bunch of Robbie’s illustrations, and added words and stuff. You’ll love them! I’m going to start filming stuff tomorrow with my guys. There’s supposed to be a huge snowstorm tonight so we can get some good shots of the outside scenes.
Say hi to your cousin for me! I can’t wait to meet him one day. The way you talk about him he’s practically famous HAHA!
Von
From: Arthur Bean (arthuraaronbean@gmail.com)
To: Kennedy Laurel (imsocutekl@hotmail.com)
Sent: March 28, 17:17
Dear Kennedy,
I hope you’re having a great spring break! I just wanted to tell you that I was in a bookstore today and I saw Kenneth Oppel! He was doing a reading, and I know you love his Frankenstein books. I wanted to get a book for you and get it signed, but the lineup was really long and I had forgotten my wallet, but I thought about you. I’m not telling you to make you jealous. I just thought, “Man! If only Kennedy was here with me!”
Yours truly,
Arthur Bean
From: Arthur Bean (arthuraaronbean@gmail.com)
To: Kennedy Laurel (imsocutekl@hotmail.com)
Sent: March 30, 20:36
Dear Kennedy,
I just wanted to let you know I got home OK, and my spring break was awesome! Luke and I did so much stuff. I took the Greyhound by myself, and had both seats to myself on the way home.
Good thing too, because I barely got any work done on Ms Whitehead’s novel assignment while I was away! So I read most of the way home. Did you finish yours? Luke and I were too busy planning the fight scenes for my movie. You’re still going to be in it, right? I can write in an awesome part for you, or we can work on it together! You’re so great at writing, and if you’re involved, your lines will sound more natural than if I write them.
Let me know, and we can work on it after school or at lunch or something.
Yours truly,
Arthur Bean
From: Kennedy Laurel (imsocutekl@hotmail.com)
To: Arthur Bean (arthuraaronbean@gmail.com)
Sent: March 31, 19:40
Hi Arthur,
I’m glad you had a good break. I did a lot of homework, so my spring break has been pretty boring!
Can we talk this week? I think we really need to talk face to face!
Kennedy
March 31st
Dear RJ,
I just got back home and read Kennedy’s email. I tried calling her, but she didn’t answer. I can’t tell what she’s thinking! It kind of sounds serious, so at first I thought that maybe someone had died in her family. If they did, I already have a suit for the funeral. But then I read it again, and I think that maybe she wants to get together. It could be that she missed me over the week and now wants to kiss me again. I’m resolved though, RJ. I will only kiss her if she’s my girlfriend. I don’t want to be that guy who kisses girls who aren’t his girlfriend.
Stay tuned, RJ. I’ll let you know!
Yours truly,
Arthur Bean
APRIL
April 1st
Dear RJ,
Something has gone terribly, terribly wrong and I don’t know what to do! I was waiting to buy my lunch, and there were two girls in line behind me talking about Robbie. So I started listening to them. They were saying they heard that Robbie stole a video camera this summer and that he was going around stealing kids’ phones from their lockers and stuff! I don’t know how they heard about the camera, because I never told anyone about it. But they knew about it! Do they think I was involved? I didn’t know what to do. I was just glad that I had a newspaper meeting today at lunch so I could get out of there!
I really want to know who told these girls about the video camera. We’re supposed to have a movie meeting this week, too. How much do people know?! I’ve been worried about it all day. I don’t want to tell Robbie, though. He gets so mad about people talking behind other people’s backs, he’d probably beat someone up.
And I just realized that I never talked to Kennedy! Maybe she’ll be able to help me, now that we’re maybe together.
Yours truly,
Arthur Bean
April 3rd
Dear RJ,
I found out who started the rumours about Robbie! It was Catie! I knew I couldn’t trust her. Apparently Robbie told her over spring break about taking the video camera, because he’s dumb and he tells the wrong people everything, but he swore her to secrecy. And then Catie told everyone that Robbie and his brother are both thieves! I’m so mad at Robbie for telling her about the video camera, but I don’t think he knows that everyone else knows. I don’t know how to tell him, either. Maybe no one will believe it when they find out Catie started it. I sure wouldn’t!
But I did avoid Robbie all day today. I didn’t want anyone to think I was involved. Is that wrong? I feel bad about it, but I don’t want people to think I’m an accomplice! I wonder if everyone now thinks that’s why we’re making the zombie movie. We should probably deflect attention from that. I wonder if that’s why no one came to our auditions. They didn’t want to be guilty by association!
Yours truly,
Arthur Bean
From: Von Ipo (thenexteastwood@hotmail.com)
To: Arthur Bean (arthuraaronbean@gmail.com)
Sent: April 4, 18:03
Hey, Artie!
Where were you guys today?
I went to our meeting and Ireland said you had cancelled! I got a lecture on respecting teachers’ time! I told her that you guys had an important reason for not being there, so I think you’re in the clear now, buddy!
I wish I’d k
nown beforehand, though. My mom was picking me up after our meeting, so I had to just hang around the school for an extra hour till she got there! I showed Ireland what I did over spring break. She was super impressed with how I put everything together! She said that it looked like it was done by a professional.
Anyway, let me know if you want to hang out this weekend to film some scenes. I could probably get the guys together again. They basically look to me to be their social director.
I should get a job on a cruise ship, planning stuff, right? HA HA!
Von
From: Arthur Bean (arthuraaronbean@gmail.com)
To: Kennedy Laurel (imsocutekl@hotmail.com)
Sent: April 6, 10:33
Dear Kennedy,
I’m really sorry I didn’t get a chance to talk to you at school this week. I was really busy! My movie is going into production, so we had a lot to do with that. But if you want to hang out this weekend, I can make time for you!
We can talk face to face, just like you want to. Just let me know what time!
Yours truly,
Arthur Bean
Dear Ms Whitehead,
Sorry this assignment is a bit late. I was away for spring break and really busy. But here it is!
Yours truly,
Arthur Bean
Assignment: Personal Novel Study: Noggin, by John Corey Whaley
By Arthur Bean
Travis Coates is this sixteen-year-old kid who is dying of cancer, but instead of actually dying, he gets his doctors to cryogenically freeze his head. Five years later, they successfully perform a full head transplant, so Travis wakes up with a whole new and healthy and awesome body.