“Ok, I’m ready. Let’s go and play twenty fucking questions,” Syd calls out and when I turn to see her, I freeze.
It’s uncanny. Gone is the old Syd, the tight tees that showcase her perfect handful tits. Gone are the ripped jeans teasing the fuck out of me with glimpses of those creamy, toned thighs. Gone are the dark, sultry, sexy as fuck eyes. She stands in the center of the room rummaging through her purse as if this was any other day, not paying the slightest attention to the dropped jaws staring all around her.
Her outfit is all country. From the tips of her cowboy boots to the hat sat on her head, on top of her hair. Her motherfucking hair. And that right there was the main reason I couldn’t stop staring. She lifts her head finally, glances around the room with narrowed eyes until she spots a phone on the coffee table and stomps over to it impatiently.
“Fucking piece of shit, Ray-Ann would happily ditch technology if she had the chance. Who doesn’t have their phone handy these days?” She shakes her head and walks over to me, deftly ignoring the spectators in the room.
Except me. Her eyes meet mine as she comes closer, her face fresh and clear, shiny powder above her eyes and her lips a rosy pink that looks all wrong. And I can see it all. She’s nervous. I watch as she lifts her hand and twists a lock of the large, OTT, curly blond wig, a determined set to her mouth. She’s shutting down before me and I’m not having that.
“You look like shit Blue.”
Her eyes widen for a split second, then she throws her head back and laughs. “Right back at ya, Rockstar. Now, let’s go entertain the press.”
***
“Ok, we’re gonna take a break for lunch, then we’re going to convene in the main function room for a group photo shoot. If I can ask you to be downstairs in say forty-five minutes, that would be great,” the harried assistant calls out as she frantically hurries the staff from the room.
It had been a crazy morning of interviews, speed dating style. We were set up in another local hotel, each with our own suites and the media doing the rounds, coming to us, asking their questions for an allotted time and moving on. It was hectic, repetitive and boring as hell. The worst part however, was having to act.
Iosefa Cross and Ray-Ann Woodley seem to be the couple on everyone’s lips. So, imagine acting like a man in love with a woman, who isn’t the actual woman he loves, but the woman he actually does love is dressed up as the woman he is supposed to pretend to love. It was fucking with my head. Every time I kissed her cheek, I was wondering if she thought I meant it for her or the act. When I took her hand, I could feel her pulse thrumming like crazy and I couldn’t ask her if she was alright, if it was nerves or worry because we constantly had an audience.
It was easier when it was Ray-Ann. This should be easier in theory, but instead it had my head spinning. Because when I looked at the woman sat next to me, all I saw was my future, and I didn’t think I was doing a very good job of dialing down the intensity.
The minute the room clears, I’m on my feet and closing the door to the suite. My head meets the wooden frame and I close my eyes, breathing deeply and trying to control my racing heart. What the fuck is wrong with me? Behind me, I hear a shuffling sound and then the bathroom door closes.
Damn it. I’m fucking everything up here, I need to get a grip on the situation. I stalk over to the bathroom, but stop short when I hear sniffling coming from there. Syd’s crying? Syd doesn’t cry. Without waiting to be invited, I push the door open and walk inside. She looks at me through the mirror, her eyes bright but not with happiness. She won’t break, not while she has a job to do but I can see the anguish on her face.
“Syd, what’s going on?”
“I could say the same to you Sefa,” she replies quietly, nothing like the feisty woman I know.
I can’t take anymore, I hate the way she looks, I hate that it’s so similar and yet so fucking wrong. I stalk up to her, yank the hat from her head and push her into the counter. “Take the fucking wig off,” I growl, pushing into her ass with my pelvis.
Shocked, she steadies herself. “I thought you might want to keep it on?”
I step back, eyebrows drawn together and stare her down. “Why the fuck would I want to do that?”
“Because she’s light and happy and easy to love, Sefa.”
Incredulous, I place my hands at her waist. “At what point did you get the impression I wanted any of those things?”
She shrugs in a most un-Syd like fashion and starts washing her hands. “I don’t know, maybe it was the way you stared at me this morning when you first saw this get up. Maybe it was the fact you haven’t gone a second without touching me all day, much more than I’m used to from you. But mostly, I’ve felt you, like a force pulling us together. Is that what you feel when you’re with my sister?”
With resistance, I manage to turn her around. She won’t meet my eyes and it saddens me to see her vulnerable. This woman should never feel like that, especially because of me. “Your sister is a wonderful person. You’re right, she is happy and light, and easy to love. But Blue, how could I ever look at her as anything other than your sister? It’s you that’s haunted my soul for months, not her.”
“I’m not stupid, I know you wanted me. What I’m saying is, I wouldn’t blame you if you went for the nicer twin.”
A bark of laughter booms from my chest, making her jump in my arms. I use the moment to band my arms around her waist and pull her in close. “I wouldn’t know what to do with nice. My heart beats for sarcastic, dark and fucking hard to break.”
A smirk pulls at the corners of her lips. “I liked the fucking hard part of that speech.”
I know she’s trying to make light of the situation, trying to deflect from the vulnerability she felt and as much as I hate it was there in the first place, I’m relieved. It means she’s finally accepting this, us, for what it is.
Leaning in close, I lower my head and graze my lips across her throat. “All I see is you Blue.”
Her breath stutters as I work teasing kisses up the column of her neck. I grab a hold of the ridiculous wig and gently pull it from her head. It drops to the counter behind her and I wind my fingers into her blue locks, freeing them from the clips. “The real you.”
I pull back and wait for her to lift her head, needing her to be right here with me. She finally does, her hands go to my chest and even through my shirt I can feel the slight tremble. “Sefa,” she whispers.
Placing one hand over hers, I press it hard against my pounding heart. My heart that beats solely for her.
“Always you.”
Chapter 24
Sydney
Today has been one of the hardest I’ve had in a long time. Pretending to be my sister has messed with my mind and questioning Cross’s feelings was a low point. I never truly understood how deep my problems went with this business or my sister for that matter. I love my sister don’t get me wrong, but I’m second guessing myself at every turn and the jealousy is eating at me like nothing I’ve ever felt.
It’s not like I want back into show biz. I’ve left it behind without a regret. Watching my sister night after night has me remembering how it used to be when we were an up and coming duo. The attention and fame that came with the Woodley name surprises me when I realize I’ve missed this life more than I thought. Have I been lying to myself? I’m not sure, it’s not like I want to jump on stage and start performing, but I wouldn’t frown upon it.
What’s wrong with me? I need a bottle of vodka and to be by myself for a stretch of time to be able to process all these fucked up thoughts in my head.
Then there’s Cross.
Damn him for always knowing the right thing to say. He handles me with care and it’s too much. Cross is on his own level as far as men in my life have gone. He knows what he wants and he’s always so sure of himself. After his sweet words and gentle caress, I find myself blurting out the stupidest thing I’ve said in a long time.
“I love you.”
Once it’s out, it’s out. There’s no taking it back and the look on his face alerts me that he most certainly heard my clumsy declaration.
The moment gets a midge awkward when all he does is stare at me with the goofiest grin that makes him look slightly crazy.
Cross rarely smiles let alone a goofy one.
In an instant, he pulls me to him and I rest my head on his chest. I hear the hammering of his chest in my ear and fear mine’s beating harder than his. He still hasn’t spoken so I’m not sure where this moment’s heading.
“Knew I’d get in there.” He whispers gruffly into my ear causing a shiver to work its way throughout my body.
I pull back and lightly smack him on his chest. “You didn’t know anything.”
Cross gives me a knowing look saying I’m completely full of shit.
“Ok, you had confidence in us before there was even a you and me. I’ll give you that.”
“Say it again.” He demands.
“No.” I laugh. The first time they flew out was under a Cross haze and I’m on high alert. “Why don’t you tell me how you feel?” I challenge with a cock of my eyebrow.
“If you don’t know how I feel, I’m not doing my job very well.” He raises his hand and smooths back my tangled hair. Wearing a wig is no joke and itchy as hell.
“Showing can lead to misinterpretation.”
“Fair enough.” Cross opens his mouth to hopefully say the words I’m secretly dying to hear when there’s a noise in the other room.
Goddamn the noises in the other room. They’re cramping my style whenever I’m in the middle of something with Cross. I quickly walk around him and pull the bathroom door open ready to take on whoever’s in the other room, whether it be the press or a wandering fan.
“Randy.” I say realizing I didn’t throw Ray’s little twang into it. He cocks an eyebrow at me in question and I momentarily panic.
“You know, I had my suspicions that morning in the hotel but chalked it up to being tired. How have you been Syd, it’s been a long time.”
My shoulders sag when he uses my name. “How’d you know?” I question.
“Could be your accent…or the fact that your hair’s blue.”
Motherfucker. I stormed out of the bathroom so fast it didn’t dawn on me to throw the wig back on. That’s a monumental mistake I foolishly let happen. My shoulders sag in defeat at the realization that I possibly just blew this whole mission.
I look back to Cross who’s smiling in the corner twirling my wig around his finger, taunting my poor decisions. That’s just it, I’ve been off my game and made mistakes since we started this case and the majority of them have been while I’ve been caught up with the man I’ve fallen for.
“Does someone want to explain to me what’s going on? I’m thrilled to see you and all Syd, but where’s Ray? Why isn’t she doing the press interviews?”
Cross locks eyes with me. This could go one of two ways. We can either tell Randy about Ray and her stalker, tell him the truth basically. I decide to go with plan B.
“Ray’s under the weather and didn’t want to disappoint her fans. I was in town visiting her and we figured it’d be best if I took over until she was feeling better.”
“Try again.” Randy says unconvinced.
“Knock it off Randy. If she says that’s what’s going on, then that’s it.” Cross says with no arguments to be had. His defensive tone shows he has my back.
“Lucky man, getting the twins.” Randy laughs humorlessly. “I know something more is going on here and I’m going to figure out what it is. Just remember, this is my tour, nothing happens without me knowing about it.” He looks at Cross, then me, before walking out the door.
“Damn.” I hang my head. “I really fucked up.”
Cross walks up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist. After a second of thinking, I pull out of his grasp and turn to face him.
“This,” I gesture between us with my hand. “This is making my head all jumbled. I have never made as many mistakes as I have on this tour. I should be focused, have a level head. My sister’s safety is on the line.”
“No. Everyone makes mistakes.”
“I don’t.” I say with my voice slightly elevated.
I’m known for my level head and quick thinking. The calm one of the crew that doesn’t jump to conclusions and makes decisions based on weighing the options. Throughout all of my mistakes, one thing is a common denominator.
Cross.
“We can’t do this. I said it before and didn’t follow through but this time, we have to put us on hold.”
“Put us on hold.” He repeats as if testing out how it sounds.
“My sister’s life is on the line, I can’t keep making careless mistakes. I may sound melodramatic, but I can’t choose you over her right now.”
“Does there have to be a decision?” He questions with a hard look in his eyes.
“Yes. We can explore this more after this case, but we can’t get into it right now.”
Cross levels me with a stare before turning around and storming off for the exit. I didn’t realize him turning his back on me would feel so final, but I did this. I decided to end what we were doing for the greater good of this case.
When he reaches the door, he stops with his hand hovering over the door knob. He doesn’t say anything for several seconds and my heart starts to beat rapidly.
“You’ve always been my choice.” Cross delivers and it hits me in the heart.
The worst part is Cross lingered at the door for a few moments, waiting for me to make a move. To fight for him.
I stand here silently saying nothing and know that when I look back on this very moment, whether it be a month or year down the road, this could be what lost me the man I so foolishly fell for.
Chapter 25
Cross
She doesn’t choose me.
I stride with purpose down the long corridor, slipping my signature shades back in place and fixing a small smirk on my lips. Adopting the persona. But all I can feel is the deep cut her words slashed into my soul. I hadn’t, wouldn’t ever ask her to choose between her sister and me, but the fact she felt a decision needed to be made has my blood boiling.
I sidestep a maid ignoring the way she gasps coyly and steps into my pathway. This is bullshit. The reason we had all been slipping, allowing ourselves to make stupid mistakes was because this case was going nowhere. We had no leads, no suspects and aside from a few notes and a disfigured mannequin head, no fucking evidence.
Pulling my phone from my pocket, I fire off a quick text to Marcus telling him to escort Sydney and stuff it back into my pants before it’s questioned. And it will be questioned, because the man is like a goddamn gossip rag.
“Don’t tell me, lovers quarrel?” a deep voice calls out from behind me.
Startled, I immediately reach for the waistband of my pants only to remember I’m not carrying. An amused chuckle reaches my ears just as Randy steps out into the corridor.
“Sorry Sefa, didn’t mean to make you jump. Well, maybe a little. You were mumbling away to yourself and I just couldn’t resist.”
Shaking my head, I groan. “Fucking women.”
“Preaching to the choir my friend,” he laughs. “Why do you think I’ve never married?”
He falls in step beside me and for a few moments all I can hear is the sound of our footsteps muffled by the rich carpet.
“Jesus Randy, out with it,” I laugh as I call the elevator.
The man glances up at me with excitement. “I’m still in shock. I had no idea you were with both of them and frankly, I’m impressed.”
Cocking my head to the side, I regard him. “Why?”
“Oh come on Iosefa,” he rolls his eyes and gestures to the open elevator door for me to go on. “It may have been a few years since we spent time together, but I can’t believe you’ve changed that much. You were always the down to earth one of the group, the one that grounded those around you. N
ot to mention, you only ever had eyes for one woman. The Iosefa Cross from then would never have entertained the idea of being with two women at once, let alone sisters.”
“And look at how well that turned out for him,” I muse bitterly.
Looking contrite, Randy drops his gaze. “I remember. I’ve never forgiven them, any of them for what they did to you that night.”
I don’t want to talk about this, especially not with Randy who had a first-row view of the clusterfuck my last night as a rock star turned out to be. Instead, I slap a hand to his shoulder and decide to at least try some damage control.
“I haven’t changed that much my friend, at least not where women are concerned.”
He doesn’t look convinced so I sigh in what I hope is convincing annoyance and lean back against the metal wall. “Ray and I are a thing, that much is true but it’s very new. Sydney and I don’t really get along. She has it in her head that I’m using Ray to get back in the limelight.”
“That’s ridiculous,” Randy blurts, eyes wide in shock.
“Right? Ray really isn’t well today so Sydney borrowed one of her costume wigs and said she’d cover for her. I thought she was being a sweet sister, and for the most part she was. In front of the media at least. What you walked in on, what you heard, was me being given the talk.”
“The talk?”
“Oh yeah. The if you hurt my sister I’ll cut your balls off talk. It was very colorful.”
Randy burst out laughing, his hand clutching at his side. “Oh my god, that’s priceless.”
I nod my head and watch as the guy falls apart.
“Honestly, I always liked Sydney, but she was not cut out for the country singing life. There’s not a single country thing about that woman, not even back when she was a not so sweet sixteen-year-old. The talk, geesh.”
“You knew them back then?” I ask, already knowing the answer.
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