Victoria sat for a long while after they had gone, thinking over what she had been told. She buried her face in the soft velvet of the sofa, her mind in a turmoil. What if she had behaved in a shameful manner with Edward? She felt her face burn. What if he was ashamed of her, and was too kind to tell her?
Victoria rose from the sofa and walked out the door into the garden. By now she had convinced herself that she had been completely without morals. She was overcome with remorse. How could she face Edward now that she knew her reactions to his love-making had been degrading to him, or, as Charlotte's mother would have said, disgusting.
Victoria sat down by the fountain. She watched the water that flowed from the pitcher of the Greek goddess, and felt tears fall from her eyes. She buried her face in her hands and lost herself in her misery.
Victoria had not heard the footsteps on the brick walkway, and was taken by surprise when she felt strong arms go about her, raising her to her feet. Victoria buried her face on Edward's shoulder.
"I could not go another day without seeing you, Victoria," he told her, raising her face to his. The smile that was on his face changed into a frown when he saw tears in her eyes. "What has upset you?" he asked tenderly. Victoria buried her face on his shoulder once more, unable to meet his gaze. When he tried to kiss her, she shook her head, dislodged his arms from about her waist, and turned her back to him. "Can you not tell me what has caused your tears, Victoria?"
"Oh, Edward," she blurted out, "I am so ashamed, I cannot face you."
He placed his hands on her shoulders and turned her to him. "What have you done that you should feel ashamed?"
Victoria refused to look at him, but stared instead at his dusty black boots. "You should have told me, Edward, that I was behaving badly," she blurted out.
"Why did you let me act so shamelessly?"
He knitted his brow. "Could you be more specific, Victoria?"
She finally found the courage to face him. Raising her eyes to his, she shook her head. "You must be very embarrassed by me, Edward. I can only tell you it was my ignorance that caused me to act in such an unladylike fashion."
"Victoria, you have me completely in the dark. I have not followed one word you have said to me."
"Clarissa and Charlotte were here today," she said. "Charlotte came to tell me she and Bob Lewis are to be married in June."
"That is all very nice, Victoria, but I am still at a loss." He looked at her puzzled.
She continued, unable to look into his eyes any longer. Instead, she fixed her eyes on the fountain, without really seeing it. "Clarissa and Charlotte told me that it was wrong and sinful for a woman to enjoy her husband's love-making."
"You discussed our love-making with them, Victoria?" Edward said in an uneven voice.
"No, of course not!" she said indignantly.
He tilted her face up to his. "What are you trying to say?"
"Both Clarissa and Charlotte were told by their mothers that a man would feel degraded and ashamed if his wife . . ."
A smile played on Edward's lips. "If his wife what, Victoria?"
"If . . . a . . . wife behaved as a saloon girl, Edward." New tears shone in her eyes.
He crushed her to him, and laughed heartily. She struggled against him. "Why do you laugh at me, Edward?" she asked scorchingly.
"Oh, my love, I am not laughing at you, I am laughing because of you. You are the light of my life, and you never cease to amuse me."
Anger flashed in her eyes. "I am glad I amuse you, Edward."
He picked her up and sat on the marble bench. She tried to wiggle out of his arms.
"This is serious, Edward, and you treat it as a joke."
He looked down into her face. "You are right," he told her, trying to control his facial muscles, but he was not entirely successful. "Victoria, what you and I have together is so special, it is something with which very few people are blessed. Are you going to take the word of two old frustrated women, or follow your heart?"
"You are saying you are not ashamed of me, Edward."
His eyes grew soft as he cupped her face in his hands, and traced her profile with his thumb. "Oh, my love, how can you doubt? To answer your question, I could never be ashamed of the wonderful bond we share. I have never known such happiness until you became my wife. I mean really my wife." His arms tightened about her protectively. "Never doubt our love again, Victoria. Just continue to love me in the future as you have in the past."
Victoria threw her arms about his neck. "Oh, Edward, I am so glad you feel that way. I would hate to feel it was my duty to please you."
He smiled at her as he stood up and carried her toward the house. "I will just see how well you perform your duty, Victoria."
She nestled her head against his shoulder. He was climbing the stairs to his bedroom. "I did not expect you for another week, Edward."
He set her on the bed and sat down beside her. "As I told you before, I had to see you," he said lightly. Then he became serious. "You are my weakness, Victoria. Nothing can hurt me except through you." He pushed her gently down onto the bed and kissed her tenderly. Then his eyes grew dark, as he raised his head. "You are also my strength, Victoria."
Her heart was beating wildly. Victoria felt momentary pity for Clarissa and Charlotte, but it soon faded, lost in the wonder of the wild sensations Edward caused her to feel. His lips met hers, as she clung to him. "How long can you stay, Edward?"
He raised his head. "All night, and if you please me, I may come home tomorrow night, too. What the hell, my men already know I lust after my wife. I have become the butt of many of their jokes. They say I have become soft, and they accuse me of being unable to concentrate on anything but you."
"This bothers you, Edward?"
He laughed. "You are the only thing that bothers me. I have been unable to sleep at night because you are not beside me."
She laughed. "Do not ask me to be sorry for that, my love. I have been going through much the same thing myself. I wish we never had to be apart."
"Soon, my love, soon," he whispered, kissing her deeply.
27
May was a beautiful month in south Texas. The prairie was dotted with bluebonnets, and the straw-colored grass was turning green. A fresh warm breeze blew across Rio del Lobo, reviving the land, bringing with it nature's promise of rebirth.
The big house at Rio del Lobo rang with the sound of laughter, and the vaqueros could not help noticing the change in their patron. He seemed to mellow under the influence of Senora Victoria. Victoria had even convinced Edward to bring the wayward Carlos back to Rio del Lobo, although Edward had ordered him to leave the night of the fiesta, when Carlos had drunkenly told Victoria that Edward had fought for the Union during the war. Rebel had found a mate in Edward's champion mare. The price of beef was up, and life was good.
However, Old Ned had been ailing so Victoria made her daily trip to his quarters to try to get him to eat some of Juanita's chicken soup. She was glad to find him sitting up and to see some of the color returned to his face.
"Miss Victoria, you shouldn't come to the bunkhouse. It's no place for a lady."
She rose from his bedside and tucked the covers about his chin. "You must not fret, Ned. You just concentrate on getting well. You are very important to me. Besides, Rebel needs you." She gave Ned a dose of the medicine Dan had left for him, and promised to return later in the afternoon.
After visiting with Consuelo and playing with Roberto and little Vicky, she started back to the house. Estancio and Carlos were in the corral branding a new shipment of cattle which had just come to Rio del Lobo from India.
Victoria climbed onto the bottom rail of the fence to watch. "These are very strange-looking cattle, Estancio. I have never seen any like them before," Victoria told him.
"They are called Brahman, Senora Victoria," Estancio told her, pleased that she should stop and show an interest in what they were doing. He drew the branding iron from the fire and applied it to the r
ump of one of the cattle, while his son, Carlos, held the rope taut.
Victoria heard the sizzling sound and smelled the burning cowhide. She felt herself getting dizzy, and held on tightly to the corral fence. "Estancio, could you help me?" she cried.
Estancio saw she was in trouble, threw down the branding iron, and rushed to her. She lost consciousness just as he reached for her. "Ride for the patron," Estancio told his son, as he carried Victoria to the ranch house.
Edward was cutting out beef for shipment. He had received a large order for prime beef to be shipped to Kansas City. He usually did not deal with the Kansas City market, but Rio del Lobo was becoming so prosperous, he had decided to gamble on a new oulet.
Edward saw Carlos riding toward him at breakneck speed.
"Patron, come quickly! Senora Victoria is ill."
"What has happened, Carlos?" Edward demanded, fear gnawing at his insides.
"I do not know, Patron. She was watching me and my father branding the Brahmans, and she fell from the fence."
"Was she injured from the fall?"
"No, Patron, my father caught her." Carlos was talking so excitedly it was hard for Edward to follow him.
Edward ran to his horse and mounted. He rode fast, fear nagging at him. Having sped up the driveway, Edward jumped out of the saddle, threw open the door, and called for Victoria.
"She is in her bedroom," a worried Estancio told him.
Edward ran up the stairs and into her room. Victoria was lying on her bed, a damp cloth on her forehead. Juanita was sitting beside her. Victoria smiled at him. He was wearing the leather chaps in which she loved to see him dressed.
"What has happened?" he asked, going down on his knees beside her, and taking her hand in his. "Have you sent for Dan?"
Juanita smiled at Victoria and left the room, closing the door behind her.
Victoria reached out her hand and laid it against Edward's cheek. "You need not look so concerned. I am really fine."
"Is Dan on his way?" he asked again.
"No, I would not let them send for him."
"Then I will send Estancio right now," he told her, starting to rise; but her hand stopped him.
"No, Edward, calm down. You would think you were the first man ever to become a father."
He looked at her, disbelief written on his face. "Are you saying that you . . . that we—"
"I am almost certain, Edward. I thought I would ride into town tomorrow and have Dan confirm what I already know."
"Oh, my love, a baby," he said, gathering her in his arms. She nestled her head against his shoulder.
"Are you happy, Edward?"
He buried his face in her hair. He did not trust himself to speak. She moved over so he could lie beside her. "There goes fate again. Just when I think we could not be happier, some new blessing comes our way." He held her tenderly in his arms. "Victoria, you are not to do anything," he said. "I want you to take it easy. Just sit around and let Juanita look after you. Maybe we should move your bedroom downstairs," he continued thoughtfully, "so you will not have to climb the stairs."
She laughed at the concern she saw on his face. "I am very strong, Edward. We most certainly will not move my bedroom downstairs, and I am not an invalid. Do you think I am the first woman ever to have a baby?"
"As far as I am concerned, you are, Victoria." He placed his hand on her stomach, which was still flat and firm.
"Will you love me when I become fat and clumsy, Edward?"
"I will love you all the more if it is possible, because you will be carrying my child. I like the thought of my love growing inside you for all the world to see." He kissed her tenderly, then smiled. "You sure chose a dramatic way to let me know about the baby."
"You know me," Victoria told him, "I never do anything the easy way."
"Yes, I have noticed. Look at me," he said. "I am hot and dusty and smell of cattle." He would have risen, but she pulled him back to her.
"I do not care, Edward. I love you when you are dressed as my vaquero."
"Do you now?" He smiled. "Even when I smell like one?"
"I remember the day I was sketching beside the river and you rode up. You were dressed as you are now. I thought you were the handsomest man I had ever seen."
"As I remember it, I was unhappy at the way you were dressed," he reminded her.
"So you were. You were a brute."
'That is because I did not want any other man to see you looking so tempting."
They were silent for a while.
"It is a son," Victoria told him matter-of-factly.
He kissed her neck. "How can you be sure?"
"It is just a feeling I have."
"I do not care if it is a boy or a girl," he said. "Still, it would be nice to have a boy first. I will drive you into town tomorrow. We will spend the night so you will not have to make the round trip in one day."
"That is not necessary, Edward. I told you I am healthy."
"Humor me in this, Victoria. I do not know why you will not let Dan come to Rio del Lobo."
"Because, as I have told you before, he is a busy man."
"Just this once, Victoria, I will let you have your way, but from now on, Dan will come to you."
"Still playing the mighty patron, are you?"
He smiled at her. "You devil. You will push me too far someday."
"I am not afraid of you. You would not harm the mother of your son."
"The mother of my son. I like the sound of that." They were quiet for a long time, content just to hold each other and share each other's happiness. "I am going to bathe and change," he told her after a while.
"AH right, vaquero, but see that you return to me when you are clean."
He kissed her cheek. "I will have Juanita serve dinner up here."
Word had spread across Rio del Lobo that Victoria was ill. Juanita had to answer the front door often to assure many worried vaqueros that Senora Victoria was better. Old Ned got out of his sickbed when the news reached him. Juanita scolded him in Spanish as well as English, but he would not return to his bed until Edward himself came downstairs to assure him Victoria was fine.
Later Edward laughingly told Victoria that the operations at Rio del Lobo had ground to a halt pending news of her recovery.
Edward walked Victoria to Dan's office. "I have some business at the blacksmith's," he told her. "I will meet you back at the hotel. I may be a little late, but it will give you a chance to visit with Clarissa if you like."
They had gotten a late start, and it was already about three in the afternoon. "Be sure you are at the hotel by six, Victoria. I want to know what Dan has to say, and I want you to rest."
"Well, Dan, do not keep me in suspense. Am I going to have a baby or not?"
He sat at his desk and was nervously tapping a pencil on the smooth surface. "Yes, Victoria, you are definitely with child." Dan frowned at her, wondering how to tell her of his suspicions. At times like this he hated being a doctor.
"Something is wrong, Dan," Victoria said quietly. "What is it?"
"Victoria, I do not know how to tell you this, but I do not think you should have this baby."
She turned pale. "My mother died giving birth to me. Are you saying that I might die also?"
He could not look at her. "If you were allowed to carry the baby to term, you might."
She bent her head to hide her tears. Her whole being wanted to protest against this injustice.
Dan watched her quietly. When he spoke, his voice showed nothing of what he was feeling. "We could cause you to miscarry; then there would be much less danger, Victoria."
She raised her head, tears glistened in her eyes. "If I carry this baby and deliver safely, can I have other children, Dan?"
"Yes." He paused. "If you survived the birth, then there would be less fear of having other children."
"If I let you take my baby from me, then Edward and I could not risk having another baby?"
Dan nodded. "That is correc
t."
She stood up and turned her back on him. "As I understand it, you can cause me to lose this baby, in which case, I could never be a wife to Edward, or I can take a chance on having the baby, and if I survive, there could be other children."
"That is correct, Victoria; but as I told you, the risk is too great to consider having this baby."
"Oh, Dan, you know what my decision has to be. I cannot give up my baby!"
"You must talk it over with Edward, Victoria. It is a choice you must make together. Do not wait too long. Tell him today."
"I will tell him now." Tears flooded her eyes. "You should have seen him Dan, when I told him we were going to have a baby. He was so happy. How can I take that away from him?"
Dan watched her as she walked out the door, feeling very helpless that this should happen to the woman he loved in a secret part of his heart, and to the man he loved like a brother. "Damn it!" he yelled. "Damn it to hell!"
Edward removed his shirt and sat down on the bed. He hated to have Victoria stay in this small hotel room, but he thought it would be better for her to rest before making the return trip home. Harvey Davis had closed his blacksmith shop early to celebrate his daughter's birthday, so there was nothing for Edward to do but wait for Victoria at the hotel.
Maybe, he thought, he would walk over to Dan's and meet her. He was reaching for his valise to get a clean shirt when he was interrupted by a knock on the door. He opened the door with a smile, thinking it might be Victoria. The smile died on his face when he saw Monica standing in the hallway.
"Aren't you going to ask me in, Edward?" she said, looking at the muscles that rippled across his bare chest.
"I do not think that would be wise, Monica. What are you doing here?"
"Haven't you heard? I am the new schoolteacher."
"Well, schoolteacher," he said, "it would not be wise for you to be seen coming into my room."
She brushed past him. "If you shut the door, no one will be the wiser. I was very careful not to be seen.
"How did you know I was here?"
"I saw you when you entered the hotel. The rest was easy. I knew you would have the best room."
Ecstasy's Promise (Historical Romance) Page 37