"Monica, it is nice seeing you, but I really must ask you to leave. My wife—"
She interrupted him. "I thought you might be tired of married life by now and want a diversion."
Edward frowned at her. "No, I am not tired of married life, and I need no one but Victoria."
"Well, well, she must really be something to keep you satisfied," Monica said insultingly.
Edward was beginning to lose patience with her, and he did not want Victoria to find her in their room. "If you will excuse me," he said coldly, "I was about to join Victoria."
"Oh, Edward, do not be angry with me," she said breathlessly. "I love you so much. It broke my heart when you married someone else."
"Monica, I am really not interested in hearing any of this," he said brutally.
"Just one kiss," she said, slipping her arms around his shoulders, feeling the muscles that rippled across his back. "Do you never miss me, just a little?"
"No, Monica, I can honestly say I do not. Try to understand. I love my wife. I neither want nor need anyone else."
"You are cruel, Edward."
"I have been told that."
She laid her face against his chest.
The door opened and Victoria walked in. Edward shoved Monica away from him. Victoria looked from Edward in his half-dressed state to the pretty redhead. The color left her face.
"Victoria, I—"
She cut Edward short, calling on that inner strength that she had relied on so much in the past.
"This is a surprise," Victoria said, looking coldly at the redhead.
Monica tried to speak, knowing she had made a grave error in coming to Edward's room. His eyes burned with hatred and disgust when he looked at her.
"Well, Monica," Victoria continued, "I think you will understand when I ask you to leave."
"I was just going," Monica said, backing to the door. She turned the door handle and ran into the hallway, closing the door behind her.
Victoria turned to Edward; her eyes were cold. Her chest was rising and falling with her heavy breathing. Her fists were clenched so tightly, her nails dug into her palms. "That was a mistake, Edward." Her voice was deadly.
"Victoria, it was not what it looked like," he pleaded. He took a step toward her. She took a step backward.
"You should have been more discreet, Edward. But then, you did not expect me until six, did you?"
"Damn it, Victoria. She came to the room while I was getting ready to join you."
"Put your shirt on, Edward. I would like to go home now, if you do not mind. I do not wish to stay in the same room with you any longer."
He grabbed her by the shoulders. "You will listen to me, Victoria!"
She looked at him coldly. "You have a double standard you would like us to live by, Edward. I recall how angry you were with me because I smiled at Major Courtney; yet you would have me ignore your indiscretion with Monica."
He dropped his hands helplessly to his sides. "If you would scream or yell, I might be able to deal with you, but this calm—"
She cut him short. "Do not let my calm fool you, Edward. Today you have committed murder. You have killed my love."
He picked up his shirt, put it on, and tucked it into his britches. "Do not be overdramatic, Victoria. It was not what it looked like."
"Do not talk to me, Edward," she said quietly.
The day that had started out so perfectly had turned into a nightmare. Victoria closed her eyes, trying to shut out the image of Monica in Edward's arms. She felt a shudder rack her body. She had been correct when she had told Edward he had killed her love, for all she felt was a great emptiness and sorrow that the perfect thing they had had together was destroyed.
The buggy left the small town of Cedarville behind. Victoria looked about the landscape without seeing it. That this should happen today of all days. What did it matter? she thought. What did anything matter?
Edward drove up to the front door. He would have helped her alight, but she was on the steps before he could reach her.
"Victoria, we have to talk," he said, following her into the house.
"I will be in my room, Edward," she told him, walking up the stairway.
Edward climbed the stairs. His mind was already racing ahead to the letter he would write to the school officials telling them to replace Monica. He followed Victoria to her room. She removed her bonnet and laid it on the bed. He walked over and reached out to her.
"Do not touch me, Edward. Never come near me again."
He glared at her. "You will listen to me, Victoria. I have never lied to you, and if you use your head, you would know I would never be so foolish as to bring a woman to a room I expected you to return to. Think, Victoria, in a town the size of Cedarville, where everyone knows me. I am not stupid."
"Perhaps your desire for her wiped out your caution. I know you, have you forgotten?" She placed her hands over her eyes. She wanted to believe him, but she could not.
"I do not want anyone but you; you know that. God knows I have told you often enough."
She turned on him. "Words, Edward, all words. You are good at that. I do not believe you, and I never will."
He looked at her helplessly. "Perhaps when you have had a chance to think, you will know I speak the truth. What did Dan say?"
Victoria's eyes clouded. She spoke softly. "Our old friend, fate, has struck again, Edward. Only this time it is bent on destruction."
"What do you mean? Are you with child?"
"Yes, Edward," she said dully.
His eyes lit up. "Oh, my love, please let us not quarrel. Nothing is important but you and our baby."
She turned away from him. Her need to hurt him as he had hurt her made her speak cruelly. "Maybe I do not want you or the baby, Edward. You are both a danger to me. Please, I cannot talk anymore tonight. Just leave me in peace. You can ask Dan about the baby. I am going to bed."
She was so pale; there were dark circles under her eyes. She looked so vulnerable, he knew it would not be wise to press her.
"You will sleep in your room tonight, Victoria?"
She nodded.
"You should have something to eat."
"Do not patronize me, Edward," she said wearily. "Leave me now."
"Because you are upset, I will leave you, but we will talk tomorrow." He would give Victoria time. She would come to know he had spoken the truth. How could she think he would want Monica or any other woman when he had her.
That night, neither of them slept. They were each locked into their own misery.
Edward waited for Dan in his outer office. Dan was setting a broken bone and had kept him waiting for over an hour. Patience was not one of Edward's strong points, and he was feeling restless.
At last the inner door opened and Dan walked Tom Clinton, who had his arm in a sling, to the door. He turned back to Edward with a feeling of dread.
"Well, aren't you going to congratulate me?" Edward said, sitting in one of the cane-backed chairs that stood against the wall.
Dan leaned against his desk for support. "Edward, I can see Victoria has not told you."
"Has not told me what?"
Dan shook his head. "I do not know how to tell you, Edward."
"Tell me what, Dan?" Edward said, feeling something was dreadfully wrong. Edward's hands were gripping the arms of the chair so hard, his knuckles were white.
"Victoria cannot have this baby, Edward."
"Why not?" he said slowly, trying to comprehend Dan's meaning.
Dan looked into Edward's face and spoke slowly. "Some women are not built for easy childbearing, and Victoria is one of them."
Edward rose to his feet and started pacing back and forth. "You are saying Victoria will have a hard time of it?"
"Edward, were you aware that Victoria's mother died the night she was born?"
Edward stopped dead in his tracks and looked at Dan wildly.
"You aren't telling me Victoria is going to die? She cannot! I will not allow her
to. My lord, Dan, do you realize what you are saying?" Edward's face was full of pain and disbelief.
"Calm down, Edward, and listen to me. I have a solution. It is not an easy one, but under the circumstances, I think it is the only one."
Edward's hands were trembling. He felt the need to strike out at someone, and Dan was the closest one. "I will take her to the best doctors in the world. You do not know what you are talking about. I will not accept what you have told me." His eyes were blazing.
Dan shook his head sadly. "That is your choice, of course, but I think they will all tell you the same thing I have."
Edward sat down slowly. "What am I going to do? I cannot live without Victoria."
"Edward, I cannot state categorically that Victoria will die." Dan's voice trailed off. "I am only saying that it is a possibility. If she were to have this baby and survive, then she would have no problem having other children."
"What do you mean, if? Damn you, Dan, this is my wife we are talking about."
"I know, Edward, and I hate like hell to be the one to tell you."
"You spoke of a solution," Edward said, looking to Dan for some hope.
Dan nodded. "We can abort the baby."
"You mean cause her to lose it?"
Dan nodded.
"You damned butcher," Edward hissed, his reasoning out of control. "It is a great choice you offer me. I can stand by for months and watch Victoria as she swells with my child, knowing it may kill her, or I can let you murder my baby." Edward grabbed Dan and slammed him up against the wall. "I could kill you."
"Go ahead, Edward, if it will make you feel any better. How do you think I feel?"
Edward slowly released him. "Oh, God, God, help her, Dan."
Dan felt the pain in Edward's voice, and knew he was very near the breaking point.
With superhuman strength Edward controlled his fear. "When would you perform this abortion?"
"As soon as possible. If we wait much longer, it will be very dangerous, and if we wait too long, we cannot do it at all."
"You told Victoria this?"
"Yes, I felt I had to."
Edward doubled up his fist and slammed it into the wall. He did not even feel the pain, so great was the hurt in his heart. "She needed me, and I was not there for her. Instead, she had to face—"
"Go to her, Edward," Dan told him. "Talk to her and try to persuade her that giving up this baby is her only choice."
Edward sat down and buried his face in his hands. Someone came in. Edward rose and looked at Dan. "I will let you know."
Dan nodded.
Edward rode home like a wild man. He wanted to hold Victoria to him and tell her they would face whatever came together. He knew his decision. He could never gamble on losing her. They would have to give the baby up. He wondered why Victoria had never told him her mother had died giving her birth. Well, he was not going to take any chances. He could not live without her. He would not even let himself think about the possibility.
Edward found her in the sitting room. She looked up as he entered. She could tell by the expression on his face that he had talked to Dan. He sat down beside her, pulled her to him, and buried his face in her hair.
Some small part of her wanted to comfort him, but she was still too hurt herself.
"Oh, Victoria, how can this be? Oh, darling, it will be all right. We will face it together. Dan told me we should give up the baby, and I agree with him." His arms tightened about her until she could feel the pain. He felt the hot sting of tears in his eyes as she cried softly in his arms.
"We do not need a baby," he told her. "We have each other."
She pushed him away, rose to her feet, and walked over to the window. "You would let Dan murder my baby?"
Edward stood up and looked at her helplessly. "Victoria, we have no choice."
"I have a choice, and I say no!" she said, defiantly turning to face him. She saw the tears glisten in Edward's eyes and wondered why she was unmoved by them.
"Do you think it was an easy decision for me to make? I want this baby as much as you do, but I will not have your life endangered. You will let Dan do what he must."
"No, I will not, Edward. You cannot make me. I will have my baby." She stood with her hands clenched at her sides, her head thrown back, daring him to disagree.
Edward walked over to her deliberately. He felt angry. He grabbed her by the shoulders. "If I have to force you to do as Dan advises, I will do it and you know it. There will be no more talk of having this baby."
"The mighty Edward Hanover has spoken," she sneered.
He ignored her. "I will have Dan come to Rio del Lobo Friday, Victoria."
"You realize if I give up my baby as you ask, you and I could no longer be together as man and wife. We would not want to take the chance of repeating our mistake." She could not resist twisting the knife. "Maybe it is just as well you renewed your acquaintance with Monica."
His fingers bit into her flesh painfully. "Damn you, Victoria. I will hear no more of this nonsense."
"Take your hands off me, Edward. I cannot stand for you to touch me.” He released her reluctantly. "I have stood about all I can stand for one day. I am going to my room."
"Darling, please, we must talk. I am sorry I lost my temper."
"No more today, please. Just leave me in peace." She left him standing in the middle of the room, a haunted look on his face.
In time she would come to realize he had made the only decision he could. He walked over to the window and stood where she had stood moments ago. He could smell the faint scent of lilac that lingered in the air. He closed his eyes and rubbed his throbbing head. He felt his world was crumbling about him, and he was helpless to stop it.
He then walked wearily into his study, poured himself a brandy, sat down in the leather armchair, and stared into space. Sometime later Juanita knocked on the door to tell him dinner was ready.
He yelled at her to leave him alone. Senora Victoria had refused to eat the tray of food she had taken to her bedroom. Juanita shook her head sadly. Something was very wrong.
Edward paced up and down the room. Why, why, did this have to happen to him and Victoria? And the incident involving Monica: how could Victoria believe that he would want Monica when he had her? He buried his head in his hands and cried tears of grief. God help me, he prayed; I do not know what to do.
* * *
Victoria spent a sleepless night. She tossed and turned, unable to find any peace for her heartache. She was afraid for the life of her unborn child. She had no doubt that Edward would force her to give up the baby.
She cried into her pillow; never had she felt so devastated. Why had Edward turned to Monica, when he claimed to love her? He had destroyed their love; why had she ever thought he loved her?
When she had no more tears left, she lay on her bed staring into the darkness. Cold reasoning took over. She would have to take some action, and do it quickly.
She must find Bodine; he would help her.
She turned her face to the window waiting for the sun to come up. She must leave Rio del Lobo, and Texas.
A shudder racked her body. If Edward discovered her plan before she could get safely away, he would prevent her from leaving. She knew he could be ruthless when he was crossed. Victoria would have to be very clever to outsmart him.
As the first fingers of dawn filtered through her bedroom window, she prayed for the courage and wit to face the ordeal that awaited her.
Juanita knocked softly on the study door. She did not want to encounter Edward's wrath as she had the night before.
When he did not answer her knock, she opened the door cautiously. Edward was asleep on the leather couch; an empty brandy bottle lay on the floor beside him.
Juanita shook him gently. "Senor Eduardo, wake up; it is morning." He arose wearily and went up the stairs. He tiptoed past Victoria's room so he would not wake her.
He washed and changed clothes. He felt the need to be alone; he would
take a ride down by the river and decide what to do.
Edward needed solitude, and a chance to sort out the heartbreaking problem that faced him.
28
Victoria waited until she heard Edward ride away; then she hurriedly wrote him a note and left it on his desk. She told Juanita about the note and that she was going to her grandmother's.
Juanita, a frown on her face, watched as Victoria left the house and walked toward the stables. She wondered what had upset Senor Eduardo and Senora Victoria. They had both been behaving strangely.
Victoria walked over to Rebel's stall. She laid her face against his smooth black coat. I have to leave you, Rebel, she said softly. You would be too easily recognized, and what I do now, I must do quickly. She patted his shiny coat and saddled the gelding, Warwick, that belonged to Edward.
She had taken what money she thought she would need for the trip to Georgia, and to see her through until after her baby was born. She rode to her grandmother's ranch, unaware that the morning was bright and clear and that birds were singing in nearby trees. She only knew she had to find Bodine. He would help her.
Lupe told Victoria that her grandmother was in San Antonio and would not be back until the next afternoon. This was working out better than she had hoped. Now she would not have to face her grandmother.
From Lupe Victoria also learned that she would find Bodine in the barn. Victoria thanked her and quickly ran from the house with a feeling of urgency. What if Edward had returned to Rio del Lobo? Would he come after her?
She found Bodine in the barn pitching hay into the loft. When he saw her he leaned on the pitchfork and studied her face.
"What's wrong, Imp?"
He knew her so well; would he understand what she must do?
"Bodine, I am going home to Georgia."
He frowned. "What's the matter? Did you and Edward have a quarrel?"
Victoria sat down on a wooden stool and folded her hands in her lap. "I am going to have a baby."
Bodine knelt down beside her so he could see her face better. "That is good news, isn't it?"
"Dan says if I have this baby I may . . . die."
Ecstasy's Promise (Historical Romance) Page 38