Four and a Half Shades of Fantasy

by W.J. May

  Part of him actually wanted to go. Deep inside his chest he felt this longing to see the sights through her eyes. To hold her hand and read some monument or walk through some battlefield now covered in grass and wild flowers. It was an impossible dream. He knew it. Every fiber of his being knew it. But somewhere deep inside a new, foreign emotion was trying to make its way to the surface. He tried to push it back down. “We’ll see.” He couldn’t say anything more.

  They walked in silence, the atmosphere between them slightly strained. It didn’t last long. Aurora seemed to have a natural ability to smooth things over and not press or pry. She changed the subject and began chattering about school and how she got a full scholarship to Cornell before she’d even finished eleventh grade. They ended the evening with a sweet kiss in front of Aurora’s door. He didn’t push to come in nor did she offer.

  Two Friday evenings later, Erebus waited at the same Starbucks for Aurora. Janus had spent the past forty minutes grilling him on how he was doing. He seemed to understand Erebus, obviously better than he knew himself.

  “Don’t break the code,” Janus had warned again. “I don’t want to have to force you to leave.

  I’m not going to ask, so please don’t tell me if you’re still with the blonde girl. Break it off before it’s too late. Do it now. Tonight. It’s clear you’re getting too attached. I don’t understand why or how it’s happening, but it needs to stop.”

  “It’s fine,” Erebus replied curtly.

  “No, it’s not. I see it in your eyes, and I spoke with Coty.” He shook his head at Erebus. “Don’t be stupid. We’re not meant to be with them. They’re gone in the blink of an eye, and we’re left…with nothing.”

  Erebus watched him leave, unsure if destiny was giving him a nudge. He stared at his mug as he thought about Janus’ words. Janus knew better than he did; he’d been around a lot longer, and it was his job as a handler.

  He rubbed his forehead, unsure of what to do. He pulled his phone out, planning on sending Aurora a text to cancel the evening. They’d hung out almost every night the past two weeks. He sent a text to Coty first.

  Dude. What R U doing 2nite? We should meet up.

  Coty’s reply came instantly back.

  ‘Bus! Finally. U ditch the girl? Meet me at Rum Jungle @ 11. We’ll find hot chicks. That’ll drop the memory.

  “Who’re you texting?” Aurora’s sweet voice broke his train of thought.

  “Coty.” He quickly shut his blackberry and stuffed it in his pocket before glancing up. She looked more divine tonight than yesterday.

  “Does he want to meet up?”

  “Yeah. With just me.” He was angry with himself. He should finish this now, not later.

  Janus was totally right. This was a mistake. For him and for Aurora. He rubbed his chin. What was he really worried about? Getting caught and possibly getting her killed? Or Aurora breaking his heart? He straightened and stood. Heading towards the door he walked, almost stomping. He knew she’d be right behind him.

  He stopped and swung around. She bumped into him, hurrying to catch up with his long strides.

  “What’s wrong? Did I say something to piss you off?” She sounded confused. “If you want to hang out with Coty you just have to say. You’re the one who asked me to meet you here tonight.”

  He swallowed hard. “Look, you’re a really sweet girl, but this isn’t going to work. We’re fooling ourselves. Sorry.” He shook his head as he tried to think of what else to say, hating himself for being an ass. The room suddenly felt too hot. He couldn’t come up with anything else, so he turned, shoved the door open and headed outside.

  Aurora ran after him. He was walking by the glass building which looked like black diamonds with the streetlights shining down when she caught up to him. She grabbed his arm and forced him to face her. She snatched the collar of his jacket and pressed up against him, his front torso warmed from her soft breasts pressing against him through the thin fabric of her shirt. Neither had bothered to do up their coats.

  “You can’t blurt that out and then walk away. I don’t believe for a moment you mean it.” She was angry but she looked crushed and so young. Innocent. “I don’t want you to go.”

  Erebus’ head swam with indecision. She smelled intoxicating, and his body allowed it to be drawn towards her. His mind shouted he needed to walk away – to leave before he got hurt. He wanted to ignore the inner voice. It always acted more Shadow than human. He sighed. “I think it’s better for us both.”

  “Why? You say that, but your body’s telling me differently.” She stared intently into his face but pressed her body tighter to his.

  Not so innocent. He closed his eyes and exhaled. Cringing, he realized he’d have to inhale her delicious perfume again. It was only going to fog his mind more.

  Aurora pressed. “You’re really going to stand here and tell me you truly don’t want to give me – us – a chance?” Her voice came out quiet, but the determination in it shouted clearly. He could feel her heartbeat strong against his chest; it seemed to echo his own. “I’m not worth whatever risk you’re so afraid of? You’re a liar Aaron Bus. And a fool.”

  He clenched his jaw, grinding his teeth. Screw the risks; screw Janus and his worries. “I do want this, more than anything I’ve ever wanted. You just don’t get it. You have no idea.”

  “What don’t I get? What do—”

  He dropped his head down and kissed her hard, cutting her off. His lips crushed against hers, urging her mouth open to accept his tongue against hers. She kissed him back with the same determination. He brought one arm around her slender waist, the other came to the back of her head so he could bury his fingers in her thick, curly hair. His hips pushed against her with a raw need he’d never felt before.

  Without realizing it, he picked her up and pinned her against the building wall. He poured his entire soul into his kiss. For once, he allowed his feelings to direct his actions, not his thoughts. He didn’t need to breathe; he just needed her lips entwined against his. He couldn’t seem to get enough of her taste, her warmth, her scent, or her body. He wanted everything and debated about taking her right there on the street. He could have his pants undone in mere seconds and her skirt lifted even faster. She’d be ready for him. He could feel her heat pressing against him. His control started to disappear and lust began taking over reason. It was intoxicating.

  He pulled back as suddenly as he’d started. That desire was his inner Shadow controlling him, wanting the physical need satisfied before anything else. This was the life of a Shadow –

  the draw for physical gratification, to absorb everything they could. He’d learned to control those urges, but with Aurora, raw desire and lust took over everything.

  “Wh-what?” Aurora’s chest heaved as she tried to catch her breath. She ran her teeth over her lower lip, pausing to bite it before opening her mouth. She pressed her hips harder against his, grinding small circles against him. Her hands entwined behind his neck, she tried to push his face back towards hers.

  Staring at the ground, Erebus ran his fingers through his hair, trying to slow the beat of his heart. He could barely think and fought to contain what little control he had left. He froze the moment he looked at her. The streetlight shining behind them gave the illusion of daylight. He blinked as he momentarily envisioned what it would be like to stand beside her in the sun. He reached for her hand and kissed each finger gently.

  “I don’t think the entire world needs to see me nearly raping and pillaging you.” He smiled, trying to make light of the intensity of his feelings, begging his erection to stop trying to control his brain.

  “I’m not sure you can rape the willing.” She gave a sly smile.

  He groaned at her words, watching her press her back against the building and arch her back, bringing her cleavage towards him. She didn’t do it on purpose; her body was simply responding to him.

  “Do you want to go to my place or yours?” His words sounded rushed. “Yo
urs. You don’t have a roommate to answer to in the morning.”

  “You’ll still have to answer to Tori, you know?” He grinned as he pulled her away from the building and started walking towards his studio apartment. The speed of his gait forced her to almost jog. He made a conscious effort to slow down.

  “True, but you won’t have to.” She snuggled closer to him. Then she stopped and forced him to look at her, her face completely serious. “You want this, right? I mean, not just the sex, but the whole package?”

  This was his last chance to leave. He could lie and live the rest of his life never knowing.

  Was the risk worth breaking every rule he’d ever been taught?

  Reason returned with startling clarity. “Aurora, you probably won’t understand this, but you’re my ray of sunshine. You’ve made the night less dark. I think I’m addicted to you or whatever power you have over me – physically and here.” He brought his hand to his chest.

  She giggled, possibly from nervousness he couldn’t tell, then smiled. “You’re right. I don’t have a clue what you’re saying. If a friend told me their boyfriend said that, I’d think it was totally cheesy. However, coming from you, it sounds deeply romantic…and hot.” She stretched up on her toes to kiss him, her tongue pushing its way into his mouth. She slowly pulled back and rubbed her nose against his.

  “You still got that angel outfit?” They started walking. Desire took over his thoughts again; that wonderful, lustful addiction.

  “If you’re looking for some foreplay, mister, you’d better be the one wearing the costume tonight. I’m tired of waiting for you to come ‘round!” She teased and slapped his butt.