Nexus Confessions

by Various

  ‘Yes, no . . .’ I murmured, pulling my dressing gown together to conceal my wet sex crack. ‘Tanya, this is wrong.’

  ‘Wrong?’ she echoed, her blue eyes frowning. ‘Why is it wrong to bring you sexual pleasure?’

  ‘Because we’re both female. I’m not a lesbian, Tanya.’

  ‘That word worries you, doesn’t it? Lesbian. Lesbian sex.’

  ‘Yes, it does worry me. I’m a married woman and I enjoy sex with my husband.’

  ‘Does he lick and suck you the way I did? Does he bring you as much pleasure as I did?’

  ‘Well, no . . . Yes, yes, he does. I mean, not exactly the way you did but . . . I don’t know what I mean.’

  ‘It’s all right, Sarah,’ she breathed. She flashed me a knowing smile. ‘I know exactly what you mean.’

  What did I mean? I pondered as she climbed to her feet and settled on the sofa. Did I mean that she’d brought me far more pleasure than John had? I couldn’t deny it, I mused anxiously. A teenage girl had taken me to the most fantastic orgasm I’d ever experienced. I had difficulty admitting it to myself, let alone Tanya. I had to end this, I decided. End it now. Rising to my feet, I walked to the lounge door and turned.

  ‘You’d better go,’ I said coldly. ‘And I think it best that you don’t come here again.’

  ‘You’re in denial,’ she said, leaving the sofa. ‘After a day or so, you’ll come to terms with your true feelings. When you’ve done that, ring me.’ She walked past me into the hall and opened the front door. ‘Ring me when you’re ready,’ she said, before leaving the house.

  I breathed a sigh of relief as the door closed. She’d gone, my ordeal was over. Ordeal? I mused. I could feel my vaginal milk streaming down my inner thighs as I went into the kitchen and filled the kettle. A stark reminder of my lesbian-induced orgasm, I thought uneasily. Pouring myself a cup of coffee, I pondered on Tanya’s words: You’re in denial. She was right, of course. But I wasn’t a lesbian.

  I spent the day doing housework and clearing out the kitchen cupboards. I’d cleaned the shelves and put the tins and food back in the cupboards and then emptied them and started again. I was trying to occupy myself, kill time, clear my mind of thoughts of lesbian sex. When John came home from work at six o’clock, I had a nice meal ready for him. His favourite: roast beef and boiled potatoes and . . . I tried to come across as normal, but he knew that something was bothering me.

  ‘Anything interesting happen today?’ he asked me during the meal.

  ‘No, no,’ I murmured. ‘I’ve just been doing housework.’

  ‘Didn’t Tanya call in this morning?’

  ‘Tanya?’ I felt my hands trembling, my heart racing. ‘No, no she didn’t.’

  ‘I saw her hovering down the road when I left for work this morning. I thought she might have come to see you.’

  ‘No, she . . . she must have been going to college or something.’

  After the meal, I cleared the dishes away while John went for a shower. I felt like a nervous wreck, and I knew that I couldn’t carry on like this. The anxiety, the lies, the guilt . . . A dreadful thought struck me as I poured a glass of wine. I’d committed adultery. Was it true adultery? I pondered. I’d not had full-blown sex with another man. But I had been licked and sucked to orgasm by another girl. Male or female, a tongue was a tongue. Male or female . . . I’d committed adultery.

  Trying to calm myself, I drank far too much wine. John settled in his favourite armchair, the very chair where I’d opened my legs and Tanya had . . . More guilt, more shame. I did my best to avoid John during the evening and finally went to bed early to escape his questioning. He was worried about me, he cared for me. I couldn’t face him, I couldn’t even face myself. I couldn’t hide my guilt, my shame.

  When he slipped into the marital bed and cuddled up behind me, I knew that he wanted sex. I could feel the hardness of his penis against my bottom as he kissed my neck. As his swollen knob slipped between my thighs, trying to gain access to my sex sheath, my guilt swamped me. Finally driving his solid penis deep into my vagina, he told me how much he loved me. Love? What was love? Tanya loved me, my husband loved me . . . Who did I love?

  I squeezed my eyes shut as John withdrew his shaft and drove into me again. Finding his rhythm, he breathed heavily and murmured his words of love. With every thrust of his manhood, I thought about Tanya’s tongue. She’d licked me there, pushed her tongue deep into my vagina and sucked out my juices of arousal. And now John was fucking me there. I’d committed adultery.

  John came quickly and then fell asleep. I could feel his sperm oozing between my inner lips, trickling over my thigh. I lay awake for what seemed like hours. Worrying, riddled with guilt, swamped by shame, I must have fallen asleep at some stage. John was up and about long before I woke. It was Saturday, he had no work. He must have thought it best to leave me sleeping. Why had he thought it best? What did he know? Had he discovered my dark secret? I was being ridiculous, I knew as I slipped out of bed and took a shower. There was no way anyone would ever discover my dirty secret.

  I enjoyed the weekend. We went out for a pub lunch and pottered in the garden, doing things together as we always had. John obviously noticed that I was more relaxed and I thanked God that his questioning was over. We talked about having a break, perhaps going away for a weekend. I liked the idea and we decided on Devon. A small cottage away from it all. Away from Tanya?

  Dianna rang me on Monday morning. She was excited about the quiz and reckoned that, now we had three in our team, we’d beat The Night Girls hands down. I finally managed to get a word in and told her that I wouldn’t be going. I said that John and I were going out for a meal Wednesday evening. I lied to her, lied to my best friend. But my lie was nothing in comparison to what I’d done with her daughter, I reflected guiltily.

  After the phone call, I paced the lounge floor for half an hour. Dianna had obviously sensed that something was wrong with me. I had to talk to her, I decided. Leaving the house, I rehearsed my lines as I walked down the road. Tanya came on strong to me, tried to seduce me. No, I couldn’t tell Dianna that her daughter was a lesbian. I’m keeping out of Tanya’s way because we had words. By the time I’d reached Dianna’s house, I was more confused than ever. I had no idea what to say to her and came to the conclusion that it was best to say nothing.

  ‘Come in,’ Tanya invited me as she opened the front door.

  ‘Thanks,’ I breathed, hanging my head so as not to catch her eyes. ‘It’s a lovely day,’ I said stupidly, following her into the lounge.

  ‘It’s a beautiful day now that you’re here. So, you’ve come to terms with your true feelings. I knew you would.’

  ‘I’ve come to see your mother,’ I returned, settling on the sofa.

  ‘She’s gone out. Didn’t she tell you when she rang? She’s gone to the doctor about her ankle.’

  ‘No, no she didn’t. In that case, I . . . I think I’d better be going.’

  Tanya sat beside me and placed her hands over my ears and turned my head to face her. I gazed into her blue eyes, her sparkling blue eyes, as she leaned forward and kissed my lips. Why hadn’t I stopped her? I wondered as she slipped her tongue into my mouth. Why had I allowed her to trap me, yet again? Or had I trapped myself?

  I felt her hand fondling my breast, squeezing me there, as she kissed me and tongued my mouth. Unable to move, unable to halt the lesbian loving, I felt my womb contract as she slipped her hand up my skirt and pressed her fingertips into the swell of my panties. I didn’t want this, I wasn’t a lesbian, I was a happily married woman . . . Our lips still locked in a passionate kiss, her fingers pressing into my panties, massaging my erect clitoris, I pushed my tongue into her mouth and tasted her saliva. What on earth did I think I was doing? I didn’t know what I was doing.

  Tanya took my hand and slipped it between her slender thighs, and I knew that she wanted me to reciprocate. I felt the warm swell of her panties, the softness of her pussy lips through the thin mate
rial. I was about to reach the point of no return, I had to stop . . . She parted her legs wide as she continued to massage my clitoris through my panties. I could feel her sex crack, but, could I give her what she wanted?

  My mind swirled with confusing thoughts. I should have been with a man, my hand should be grasping the solid shaft of a penis. A teenage girl, panties, vulval lips rising either side of a sex crack . . . I had to stop myself but my clitoris was erect in arousal and my juices of lust were flowing. As Tanya pulled my panties to one side and massaged the solid nub of my sensitive clitoris, I again knew that she wanted me to reciprocate.

  My fingers moved almost involuntarily, pulling her panties to one side and exposing the swollen lips of her young pussy. I felt her there, ran a fingertip up and down her open crack. She was wet with desire, lesbian desire. Her clitoris was solid, waiting in expectation for my caressing fingertip. I massaged her there and she shuddered and gasped as her mouth left mine. Her eyes were closed, her succulent lips parted sensually. She continued to massage my pleasure bud, and I knew that I was nearing my orgasm. I’d passed the point of no return.

  Moving my hand down her valley of lust, I slipped a finger into the wet heat of her teenage vagina. She gasped again, her head lolling from side to side as I massaged deep inside her tight sex sheath. We kissed again, our mouths locked as we masturbated each other. I seemed to have no control over my actions as I moved my finger up to the swollen bulb of her clitoris.

  We reached our orgasms together, shaking uncontrollably as we pumped out our juices of lesbian desire. I felt drunk on lesbian sex, delirious in my coming. The battle between right and wrong raging in my mind had ceased, for the time being. Revelling in my lesbian orgasm, I pushed my tongue deep into Tanya’s mouth as we kissed passionately. I was lost in my coming.

  No words passed between us as our pleasure began to wane. Slowing our clitoral massaging, our lips parting, we finally lay back on the sofa gasping in the aftermath of our loving. I had nothing to lose now, I mused dreamily as I slipped off the sofa and knelt at Tanya’s feet. Pulling her wet panties down her long legs and tossing them aside, I parted her thighs and gazed longingly at her vulval crack. To my amazement, she had no pubic hair. She whispered to me as I gazed at her pussy. She said that she’d shaved for me. The swollen pads of her outer lips rising alluringly either side of her creamy-wet sex, she looked so young and alluring.

  Burying my face between her naked thighs, breathing in the scent of the most intimate part of her young body, I pushed my tongue into her sex crack and tasted her there. Lubricious, tangy, slightly bitter, girlie . . . She writhed and gasped as I repeatedly ran my tongue up her crack. Trembling uncontrollably, she whimpered incoherent words of sex as I sucked the solid nub of her clitoris into my hot mouth and swept my tongue over its sensitive tip.

  ‘Yes,’ she breathed as I drove two fingers into the hugging sheath of her teenage vagina. In my sexual frenzy, all thoughts of John and my marriage faded into oblivion as I sucked and mouthed on the girl’s bulbous clitoris. Had I found my niche, my sexual preference? Was I in love with Tanya? Raising her legs and placing her feet on the sofa either side of her hips, she allowed me deeper access to her tightening vagina.

  ‘Coming,’ she announced shakily as I increased my thrusting rhythm and sucked harder on her solid clitoris. Slurping, mouthing, licking, fingering . . . I felt elated as she shook wildly and let out a cry of sexual pleasure. I sustained her climax, sucking out her orgasm as she thrashed about on the sofa and pumped out her girl cream. Slipping my fingers out of her inflamed vagina, I pressed my lips hard against her wet hole and sucked out her lubricious cream. Drinking from her teenage body, I massaged the last ripples of sex from her pulsating clitoris until she begged me to stop.

  ‘No more,’ she breathed, her young body convulsing. ‘God, no more.’

  ‘Was that all right?’ I asked her, sucking my pussy-wet fingers.

  ‘It was beautiful,’ she murmured, her blue eyes rolling as she gazed at me. ‘It was heavenly. I’ve never had an orgasm like it.’

  Rising to my feet, as she sat up and grabbed her wet panties from the floor, I straightened my clothes and ran my fingers through my dishevelled hair. Where to from here? I pondered, as she left the sofa and swayed on her sagging legs. Adultery, lesbian sex with a teenage girl . . . No one would ever discover my dirty secret, I consoled myself. Tanya would hardly go blabbing to her mother and I’d never tell John. But, I knew in my heart that I couldn’t live a lie. Lies, deceit, adultery . . . I couldn’t do it. Tanya rushed upstairs to her room as her mother’s car pulled up in the drive. Wiping my sex-wet mouth on the back of my hand, I tried to calm myself as Dianna called out from the hall.

  ‘In here,’ I said, sitting on the sofa.

  ‘Sarah,’ she trilled, standing before me. ‘I didn’t know you were coming round. Where’s Tanya?’

  ‘Upstairs,’ I replied softly. ‘Dianna, I . . . I have to talk to you.’

  ‘What is it?’ she asked concernedly as she joined me on the sofa. ‘You look pale. What’s the matter?’

  ‘I can’t live a lie.’

  ‘What? What do you mean?’

  ‘I . . . I’ve discovered that I’m a lesbian,’ I blurted out.

  ‘All right, calm down,’ she said softly. ‘Just relax and tell me about it.’

  ‘God only knows what you’re going to think of me. But I can’t harbour secrets. And I was never any good at lying.’

  ‘You don’t have to tell me that,’ she quipped. ‘I remember when we were at school your face would turn bright red and . . .’

  ‘Dianna, listen to me. What I’m about to tell you will probably put an end to our friendship. All I ask is that you don’t tell John.’

  ‘OK, I promise.’

  ‘The girl, the woman . . . I’ve known her forever. It’s only now that I realise . . .’

  ‘I know, Sarah,’ she cut in. ‘You don’t have to tell me.’

  ‘You know?’ I gasped, staring hard at her.

  ‘Yes. I was hoping that . . .’

  ‘You don’t mind?’ I interrupted her. ‘I mean, you’re not going to have a go at me?’

  ‘I’ve prayed for this day to come, Sarah,’ she whispered as she leaned forwards and pressed her lips to mine. Her hand slipping between my thighs, she pulled my wet panties aside and slipped her finger deep into my very wet vagina. ‘I’ve wanted you since we were at school together,’ she breathed huskily.

  – Sarah, Oxfordshire, UK

  One Snowy Night

  It was a snowy Friday night and I was working at the front desk of a small motel. Because of the weather, business was slow, the motel was almost empty and I felt as if I was the only one in the entire city – not even a car passed on the normally busy street. I was just relaxing, watching the small black-and-white TV that my boss was kind enough to have left for days like this one, when I noticed someone trudging through the snow towards the door. I’d gotten so comfortable just sitting enjoying my slow evening that it felt like an intrusion to have a customer check in.

  Tall and dopey-looking, the man had mulatto skin, the biggest Afro I’d ever seen and he spoke with a slur. ‘Great, another nut,’ I remember thinking.

  He tried to negotiate a better price for the room, but I was firm – I guess as payback for interrupting my TV programme. The entire time he was standing at the desk, his eyes remained fixated on my cleavage.

  The way he leered at me was almost to the point of creepy: the way he would lick his large lips before each sentence and how closely he leaned in when I spoke. There was something very sordid about him and even desperate. While I’m not one to turn my back on male attention, I was quick to help him and send him on his way.

  Within minutes of his check-in, the telephone charge printer started; he was making quite a few phone calls. I’d been with the motel for a while and recognised the numbers he was calling – all escort services. It wasn’t a surprise that he was horny by the way he sta
red at my tits during check-in.

  The callbacks started to roll in and, whether out of boredom or just plain feeling naughty, I decided to listen in when I transferred the next call, all the while thinking to myself, ‘Of course this winner has to pay for sex!’

  ‘Hi there, my name is Pam. I hear you’re looking for some company,’ she said seductively.

  His slurred broken English asked almost frantically, ‘Do you have big brrreasts?’ He rolled his Rs and I tried desperately to hold in my laughter. As their conversation went on I became stunned to hear him describe the type of girl he was looking for. ‘I want one girl with big brrreasts, big bum and brown curly hair,’ he insisted.

  He had described me! He received several other callbacks and with each requested the description.

  Though he was not at all attractive to me or even remotely charming, I began to get excited thinking of how badly this man wanted to fuck me – or a reasonable facsimile. He had stared at my cleavage almost hungrily when he’d been in the office and, when I went around the counter to shut the door behind him, he looked my entire body up and down and licked his lips. He seemed a bit pervie but no more, and I hadn’t thought anything of it at the time. Being a pretty, petite and curvaceous girl usually got me a double take or two.

  I began fantasising about what he’d said and picturing the escort entering his room – just imagining what they might do. I became wet as the face in my thoughts became mine. Poor guy turned down all of his callbacks as each offered girls of the wrong description. I couldn’t believe how turned on I was becoming. I’d always been a good girl by most standards, yet here I was picturing being fucked by this large clumsy guy. My clit was so hard, it was dying to be touched. I contemplated going into the back room and fingering myself, but then I got a better idea. I dialled his room number, my hands trembling at the idea. ‘Hi, it’s the front desk calling,’ I began, ‘I hear you want some company.’

  ‘I want to fuck,’ he said with no hesitation. ‘I like big brrreasts.’ He paused.