Girls Only!

by Beverly Lewis

Heather straightened. “Do you really have to eavesdrop?”

  “What’s that mean?” Poor Tommy. He was stuck in the middle.

  She glared at both of them. “Look, you two . . .” She stopped from almost lashing out at her brother and sister. It was a good thing she’d bit her tongue, because Mom’s footsteps were on the stairs just now.

  Heather turned to see her mother’s arms loaded down with folded laundry. “I could use some help, kids,” Mom said. Usually, she didn’t have to say much about helping. They all liked to pitch in and pull their weight with chores.

  Joanne and Tommy stood at the landing, waiting with arms outstretched.

  Perfect little brother and sister, she thought, staring at the twosome. But she knew the truth. They weren’t even close to perfect.

  Sooner or later, Mom would find it out.

  * * *

  When the laundry was put away, Heather closed the door to her room. Looking around, she tried to figure out what Joanne had borrowed. She went to her dresser. No drawers were hanging out. Nothing seemed to be missing. At least, not that she noticed. Her bed wasn’t even rumpled. So what did Joanne need so badly that she was willing to risk getting caught?

  Going to her mirror, Heather stared at her reflection. Cool outfit, she thought, looking at the gold and black jogging suit. Mom had purchased it during the after-Christmas sales a couple of months back. She especially liked the color gold, which seemed to point out the blond highlights in her hair.

  Turning her back to the mirror, she glimpsed the back of her. She thought she might be a teeny bit thinner. But she couldn’t be sure. Not without undressing. Tonight, after her shower, she would check to see how she really looked.

  Just then, a knock came at her door. She hurried to see who was there:

  It was Mom, standing in the hallway. “Heather, I’d like to talk with you when you have a minute.”

  The tone of Mom’s voice spelled trouble. What had Joanne told her? Or was Tommy the culprit this time?

  “Am I in trouble?” she said before thinking. She’d practically told on herself.

  “Sounds like you have a guilty conscience.” Mom smiled, reaching out to squeeze her arm. “Meet me in my bedroom in a few minutes. Okay, honey?”

  Now she knew this was serious. “Sure, Mom.”

  She slipped her jogger top over her head, wearing only the short-sleeved black T-shirt underneath. One more quick look in the mirror gave her the nerve to think about what little she could get by with eating at supper. She’d smelled the meaty aroma of roasted chicken. One of Mom’s most delicious recipes. Delicious or not, Heather had a plan that did not include eating much of the specialty dish at all. Sure, her stomach had been rumbling all day long. She’d fought hard against the ongoing hunger pangs. Pretty soon they’d go away. They had to.

  Mom was waiting for her in the master suite, standing by the window. “What’s up?” Heather asked, hoping for an off-the-cuff reply. But Mom motioned for her to close the door. Another danger sign.

  They stood at the foot of her parents’ bed for a moment. Then Mom suggested they sit down. So Heather chose to perch on the bed, while her mother sat in a chair across the room. “I wish I didn’t have to talk to you about this,” Mom began. “I think by now you should know better.”

  Here it comes . . .

  “I happened to overhear your conversation with Joanne earlier.” Mom paused, probably searching for the right words. “Your sister looks up to you, Heather. She’s learning from you each day. Tommy too.”

  Heather wished Mom would bring Kevin into this lecture. Why wasn’t her older brother included? Was he the ideal role model?

  She refused to mention Kevin. She kept quiet—something she should’ve done when she first caught Joanne scurrying out of her room. Just what did Mom know about any of that?

  “We’ve studied very thoroughly godly character traits,” Mom continued.

  True. Heather—the whole family, for that matter—had studied and learned thoroughly the Bible-based attributes. She could recite them, each one corresponding to a fruit of the Spirit. But then, so could Joanne and Tommy.

  Why was Mom picking on her?

  “I’d like you to go easy on your sister . . . about whatever she was borrowing,” Mom said straight out.

  “But Joanne’s constantly messing around in my room.”

  “Be gentle and patient with her when you bring it up again. All right?” Mom’s eyes reflected her own kind spirit.

  Yet Heather could not contain her anger about the situation. “I’m sick and tired of Joanne waltzing in and out of my room at will. She’s doing something in there. I know she is!”

  “I’ll talk to Joanne,” Mom said quickly. “In the meantime, can you please watch your attitude a bit?”

  Watch my attitude? She felt the anger rising. But she wouldn’t sass her mother. The ultimate no-no.

  She ought to be sorry for her tone of voice with Joanne. She ought to act as an example to her younger sister. But she didn’t feel a bit sorry. Not at the moment.

  Maybe not at all.

  Photo Perfect

  Chapter Nine

  Any other evening, Heather might’ve asked to be excused and hurried off to bed. Homework was completed and double-checked, just the way Mom liked it. But Dad was probably waiting in the living room eager to get family devotions going. There was no getting out of that. And she didn’t really want to dodge out of it. Just needed some space.

  Her head ached and her stomach growled. She knew she should’ve eaten more of Mom’s tasty and tender chicken. She’d hardly eaten a speck of food.

  My own fault, she thought, sitting next to her little brother.

  Quietly, she turned to the Bible. Dad had asked specifically for Galatians 5:14. She should’ve recognized the verse before she ever turned to it. Dad had helped both her and Kevin memorize the passage years ago. Even before little Joanne and Tommy had come into their lives through adoption.

  The living room was quiet. Dad and Mom sat together on the sofa. Joanne was perched at Dad’s feet. Heather and Tommy were snug on the loveseat.

  Dad started with a general, family-type prayer. Then he asked her to begin reading.

  “ ‘The entire law is summed up in a single command: Love your neighbor as yourself,’ ” she read, feeling her face growing warm. But the room remained still.

  Heather fully expected Dad to comment on the verse, the way he usually did. But not tonight. Instead, Dad asked Kevin to read another Scripture, which just so happened to be about getting along with others in the family of God.

  So was this a specific lesson for the whole family? Or was Dad focusing in on her?

  No use getting huffy about it. Better to listen and learn—and repent, as Dad always suggested—than to get herself in a stew over something minor. She and Joanne didn’t need to be at each other’s throats.

  Still, the idea of Joanne getting by with snooping bugged her. She was starting to feel she had no control over much of anything anymore.

  While Dad talked about the importance of getting along in a cheerful manner, Heather let her mind wander. She thought about the things she could control in her life. Things like her food intake. Things like how many hours a day she exercised. And nope, she wasn’t ready to give up trying to lose weight. No matter what anybody said.

  By the time Dad was finished talking and reading from his Bible, she was eager to get to bed. Morning couldn’t come early enough for her this night. She could hardly wait to hit the ice. Besides that, tomorrow afternoon was the next Girls Only Club meeting. She had several fantastic recipes to add to Livvy’s cookbook.

  To think she was collecting recipes when she’d given up eating. What a hoot!

  * * *

  Before turning out the light, Heather curled up on her bed. She skimmed through the teen magazine once again, enjoying the pictures immensely. She wondered how thin she’d look this time next week. Would anyone notice? What would Coach say? How about Kevin?


  Kevin . . .

  At least, maybe he wouldn’t drop her on their lifts. Soon, she’d be lots lighter. That alone was good enough reason to shed some pounds.

  Scooting off the bed, she went and stood in front of the large floor mirror in the corner of the room. Yes, she could see the slightest changes—or she thought so. Wearing only her baby-doll pajamas, she thought her legs . . . and maybe her ankles, too, seemed a little slimmer. Yes, they were thinner. She was sure of it.

  Good, she thought. I’m on the right track.

  But when she finally did slip into bed, she had a hard time relaxing. Falling asleep had never been a problem before. The gnawing in her stomach and the dizzy feeling in her head kept her tossing and turning.

  Around eleven, she got up and tiptoed downstairs. One little bite of a graham cracker and a swallow of milk wouldn’t hurt anything. She had to do something. So she crept out of her room and down the stairs.

  She was surprised to find Mom downstairs, too. Sitting in the dark, her mother was praying in the living room. Heather wouldn’t have known she was there, except she heard someone whispering her name as she came down the steps.

  “Lord, please help my Heather . . . whatever is bothering her,” Mom prayed softly.

  Heather swallowed hard. She didn’t know what to think. Mom, up this late? How would she feel when five o’clock in the morning rolled around?

  It wasn’t hard for Heather to know how she would feel, dragging out of bed. Ten hours of sleep a night was essential for active athletes during the growing years. Physical exertion demanded recovery time. She’d pushed her body extra hard today, working out on the treadmill far longer than ever. She knew from past experience she could only stretch her limits so far.

  She would pay dearly if she didn’t get proper rest. And Coach McDonald would see right through the balance and concentration problems that were sure to crop up. Even after only one night of poor sleep.

  Hurrying to the kitchen, she ate three crackers, then poured a tiny bit of milk. She limited herself to just one third of a cup. Tomorrow, she’d do better about not snacking. She promised herself.

  Photo Perfect

  Chapter Ten

  At breakfast, Heather purposely suppressed the urge to eat. She also made excuses about why she was late coming to the table. “I couldn’t find the warm-up suit I wanted,” she said, feeling terribly tired and irritable.

  Mom’s eyebrows rose briefly, but she said nothing. Dad was nowhere around, as he’d gotten an even earlier start on his day. He wasn’t there to either witness her explanation or intervene.

  Kevin, though, stared at her curiously. “What’s with the zero appetite?” he asked.

  Before Heather could say a word, their mother quickly changed the subject. So nothing more was said, and Heather was relieved. She was too exhausted to put up much of a fight. Especially with Kevin.

  After sitting only a few minutes at the table, she pushed back her half-full glass of orange juice. She’d taken only a few bites of her fresh pear, then bravely she asked to be excused.

  Thankfully, Mom seemed cool enough about it. Good, thought Heather. She could put her plan into action more easily with some breathing room.

  “Someone should call the phone company about our voice mail,” Kevin reminded Mom.

  “Yeah, it’s messed up,” Heather spoke up, remembering Livvy’s hazy message.

  “I’ll look into it,” Mom assured them. She also told them about getting together with two other homeschooling families. “We plan to meet here after lunch.”

  Kevin seemed interested. “We’re starting another new history unit, right?”

  Mom nodded. “It’s time we delve more deeply into the American Constitution.”

  “Cool,” Heather said.

  At least it wasn’t another one of Mom’s nutrition units. The history study with other families of kids was great news. Joanne and Tommy would be studying on different levels, and Heather and Kevin would pair up with some of the older kids. Mom was good about having all four of them work on similar themes, but she also had a knack for bringing the subject matter down to each of their comprehension levels, even including Joanne with mazes, puzzles, and age-appropriate material.

  * * *

  Somehow, Heather made it through her morning ice session. But she was really beginning to drag as she sat on the bench to remove her skates. Kevin waited around for her, leaning on the barrier. He was obviously impatient, too, by the way he shuffled about. But he didn’t bring up anything troublesome, and she was glad.

  The walk home seemed longer than usual. Heather’s legs felt more like rubber than flesh and bone and muscle. Mom hadn’t accompanied them to the early-morning session. Often, she let them walk to and from. Today, though, Heather wished her mother had driven them.

  “What’s wrong with you?” Kevin asked.

  “Nothing.”

  “Anyone can see you’re worn out,” he persisted.

  She sighed. Her brother didn’t need to know that she’d been up prowling around the kitchen for something to eat so late in the night. “I’m fine,” she insisted.

  “Say what you like. I can see you’re exhausted.”

  “Why don’t you just . . . leave me alone?”

  “Oh yeah, sure . . . that’s a great suggestion.” He paused as they walked in silence. Then—“So is it really none of my business that my skating partner is falling off balance and skating way under her ability today?”

  He had her. She scuffed her feet against the sidewalk, saying nothing.

  “Look, Heather, if you have to go on some stupid crash course, or whatever it is you’re doing to your body, I think you’d better bounce it off me first. Okay?”

  “Says who?”

  “Coach, for one . . . and Mom and Dad, too, since they’re paying big bucks for our training. In case you forgot. They’re behind us all the way, helping us push ourselves ahead to our goal.” He stopped and turned to look at her. “It is still your goal, right?”

  “To get to Junior Olympics, sure.” There was no question in her mind.

  “Then, how about if you start eating?”

  They began walking again. This time, she forged ahead, leaving her brother behind.

  “Aw, don’t do this,” Kevin called to her.

  “Don’t do what—walk faster than you?” She didn’t even stop to glance over her shoulder. She was losing it faster than her own stride.

  “Your head’s jumbled,” he said flatly.

  That got her attention. She turned and waited for him. “Since when is it fair for you to call all the shots for us?”

  “It’s fair only when I see my sister doing harm to herself.” He sighed loudly. “I wish I knew what was bugging you.”

  “Whatever.” She turned away.

  “No, Heather, I mean it.” Kevin reached and grabbed her arm. “You’re not heavy, if that’s what you think.” His eyes were kind. He was concerned.

  “We’re not having this conversation.” And that was the end of it.

  Weary before the day had scarcely begun, she mustered up enough energy to run ahead of him. At her side, her skates flip-flopped nearly out of control as she attempted to steady them.

  Photo Perfect

  Chapter Eleven

  “I don’t feel well,” she admitted to her mother during a short break in the history unit that afternoon.

  Mom had been talking with two other students, slightly older than Heather. Two boys from their church were also homeschooled. Kevin was hanging around with them, deciding what essays to write. “A discussion on the balance of power would be great,” one of the other boys suggested.

  Kevin seemed to like the idea. Heather could tell by his wide, bright eyes. She, on the other hand, could scarcely stand up. She’d pushed herself this far through, but now felt so tired she just wanted to put her head down on the table and give in to sleep.

  Mom looked at her over her glasses. “Are you ill or just tired?”
<
br />   She wanted to say “both,” but that wasn’t true. Fact was, she was dog tired. Her own fault. “I’m really wiped out,” she said.

  “Well, why don’t you sit on the couch to do some reading?” Mom suggested.

  What she really wanted was to go to her room and lie down there in the quiet. Why hadn’t she gone to bed earlier last night? But she knew the answer. The truth was, she’d denied herself food and paid the price—much to the anger of her skating partner and older brother. How was she going to get down to nothing with Kevin hounding her?

  She carried her books to the living room, as Mom recommended. Getting settled into the cushions, she knew right off this was a mistake. The sofa was far too comfortable, and the movement of her eyes on the page only served to make her sleepier. Almost before she knew it, she was sound asleep.

  But in her dreams, she was light as a feather. She was also hungry, the empty feeling in her stomach exaggerated. As the dream progressed, she realized that she was beginning to get hooked on the hunger pangs. The feeling was actually enticing, something she liked. Somehow, though, she could sense that her family and friends, and even the Girls Only Club members, were afraid for her. But that, of course, was only in her dream.

  When she awakened, the other kids had left. Mom, Joanne, and Tommy were doing an art project at the dining-room table. “Where’s Kevin?” she asked.

  “Lifting weights,” said Mom. “Want to join him?”

  “Too tired.” She headed toward the stairs.

  “School’s not finished for the day,” Mom said suddenly.

  Returning, Heather asked, “What’s next?”

  It was clear that Mom was displeased. “Well, if you’re too tired to do your schoolwork, then you must certainly be too tired to attend ballet class . . . and later, your Girls Only Club.”

  Mom was smart that way. She had her coming and going. Without saying more, Heather waited for her next assignment—a writing project—from her teacher-mother. She shouldn’t have been too surprised at her own usually tenacious spirit. It was obvious she’d inherited persistence from Guess Who.