Furever Always (Furever Series)

by Meredith Clarke

  Hope that he wouldn’t turn, and he banished from the clan forever, or worse…

  Put down like a wild animal.

  Chapter17

  Declan

  Six Weeks Later

  “Declan! Declan, man, open the door! You need to eat something. It’s been days.”

  Kurt shouted through the door, but Declan just ignored him, like usual. With a frustrated sigh, Kurt left a plate of food outside of the door and went back down to his office. For the last four weeks, Kurt was the only person that was allowed to go to east wing of the manor in Boulder to check on Declan, but for the last two weeks, he wouldn’t speak to even Kurt. He had only been getting worse with each passing day, and Kurt had made it clear that he no idea what to do about it.

  Nothing had gone right since that last night at the lodge. Declan and Kurt had been finishing discussing calling in backup on Lucy when Scarlett had come running into the meeting room.

  “She’s gone!” she’d shouted.

  Declan and Kurt had looked at each other, confused.

  “Who? Lucy?” Declan had asked.

  “No! Blair! She just charged out of here with her suitcase, took the car, and sped off! Wait, Lucy? Why the hell would Lucy be here?”

  Declan had charged out of the lodge and down the driveway, thinking he might be able to catch up with Blair but had been no use. He’d called her phone all night, had Scarlett call, and Kurt, but she’d turned her phone off and wasn’t turning it back on. Declan assumed that she had gone back to Boston. However, Blair wouldn’t answer any of their phone calls. Scarlett had even flown back home to Boston and went to Blair's apartment and office. But she was nowhere to be found.

  Declan was inconsolable. Not only was Blair gone, but he had no idea what he’d done to make her leave. Nothing made sense, nothing about why she left, or why she was still gone. Scarlett and Lani had gone to bed, so they had no idea what had happened. One minute she was there, in his bed, in his arms, and the next she a shadow. Declan wasn’t the only one who was distraught, however…

  His bear was out of his mind.

  At first, his bear hadn’t wanted to admit that Blair was gone. It just paced back and forth, back and forth, until it was about to drive Declan crazy. Then the rage kicked in. Declan started snapping at the other guys in the clan, getting angry over nothing. But it kept getting worse. The next thing they knew, they were out at a bar, and Declan was throwing a college kid across the room for stepping on his foot. That night, the bears had a meeting and decided it was time to quarantine Declan until they figured something else out.

  So, ever since that night, Declan had been stalking around the east side of the manor like a damn fairy-tale beast. Frank had been complaining about the persistent sound of his Declan’s feet walking back and forth across the floors, that it was driving him insane too. But nothing Kurt said was giving him any comfort, and no one had any idea how to help.

  Kurt stayed near the east wing in order to watch over Declan. Through the thin walls, Declan could overhear Kurt sat in his private office, contacting some of the other clans, hoping to find an answer to Declan’s problem, when his Skype began ringing. It was Scarlett, and she sounded exhausted.

  “Hey, baby. What’s wrong?” Kurt said.

  “I found Blair,” she answered rubbing her eyes. Declan's sense immediately picked up. “She’s in upstate New York with her mom. She’s been working from home, using email and Skype to deal with clients. And no one has any idea when she is coming back if she comes back at all.”

  “How did you find all of this out?” Kurt asked.

  Scarlett laughed sadly. “I waited until after-hours and called the night receptionist. She’s a ditz and gives out info she shouldn’t all the time. What do we do, Kurt? Do we get her? She’s still not answering her phone. I mean, I hate that this happened to Declan. But I miss my friend too.”

  Declan stood up, unable to sit still any longer. He walked over to the nearest wall and punched a large hole through it shaking the frame. Declan knew Kurt could hear him as he let out a frustrated sigh.

  “Do you know where Blair’s mother lives?” Kurt asked.

  “Yeah, of course. I used to go down there with her all the time after the accident,” Scarlett said with a nervous tone. “Why?”

  “I’m going to buy you a plane ticket. You can fly down and talk to her. See if you can sort out what is going on here before Declan loses it entirely. I don’t know how much longer he can keep going like this.”

  Scarlett quickly agreed. “I’ll pack. Just send me the flight information.”

  Declan heard Kurt hang up the phone and listened to his footsteps pace back and forth. By this time, Declan had already punched another hole in the wall. He could tell he was barely hanging on to his sanity, but he refused to let his bear take over. He was afraid that if he did, he would never come back.

  “Declan, I’m coming in," Kurt said as he knocked on his door.

  He opened the door, and Declan watched as Kurt's shoulders slumped when he saw Declan, and what he’d done to the bedroom. There weren’t just holes in the walls from where he had been punching; there were long, deep claw marks everywhere, likely from Declan half-turning simply for the satisfaction of better-destroying things. Kurt kicked a torn-up pillow and blanket out of his way and walked over to where Declan was sitting in the corner of the room.

  “Man, what the fuck are you doing in here? Are you trying to make the whole place just fall to the ground?”

  Declan growled, and it was a sound that was far more bear than man, which made Kurt take a few nervous steps back. Declan didn't blame him. He strained to control his bear because the last thing he wanted was to turn the lodge into a fighting ground with Kurt; the lodge definitely wouldn’t survive it. Declan clenched and unclenched his fists as Kurt tried his best to defuse the situation.

  “We’re doing everything we can to help you, Declan, but you have to help us too. You have to tell me what is going on in your head right now. We can’t do anything to get you out of this if you don’t give us some direction.”

  Declan snarled again. “You think I know? I don’t know. All I know is my bear knows Blair isn’t here and it wants to destroy everything and everyone until she comes back. There is no reason left, and the frenzy is creeping over into my own mind. There is nothing to do without Blair here. No point. Nothing matters.”

  Kurt kept his back to the wall, and Declan noticed that he kept his hands free so he could reach the door quickly if he had to. Declan knew that there was a wild, unhinged fire in his eyes that hadn’t been there a few days ago. The frenzy was getting worse.

  “Declan, we’re trying to find her, but can you think of anything, any reason, why she left? Anything you did? Anything we did?”

  He shook his head and twitched slightly as if he was fighting with an invisible, stronger force. “I didn’t do or say anything. We were supposed to talk after I talked to you. I was going to ask her to make things official. To try and be a couple. And then she was gone. I don’t know…”

  Declan’s eyes got wider as if he had a revelation. “Did you see Lucy again after Blair left?”

  Kurt furrowed his brow as he thought. “I mean, I never saw her begin with. But no, I don’t remember catching sight of her before we left. Why? You don’t think?”

  A low roar began deep in Declan’s belly, and when it escaped from his throat, it shook all of the furniture in the room. Kurt put his hand on the door knob, ready to run if he had to. But all Declan did was pick up an antique wooden chair and throw it with all of his strength against the wall, where it splintered into a thousand pieces. Then Declan turned to Kurt. Kurt needed to leave, and fast. He wasn't able to hold on to his humanity as easily when he was there.

  “Get out. Get out before I do something I’ll regret.”

  Kurt didn’t need to be told twice, and he spun around and booked it out of the room as fast as his legs could carry him. As soon as he was gone, Declan went into a fu
ry, slamming his fists into the wall, ripping down curtains, and screaming at nothing and no one in particular. If Lucy had done something or said something to Blair, he didn’t even know where to begin or where to focus his fury. Instead, he just kept breaking things.

  And his bear? The bear was even more furious. It was uncontrolled and thrashing inside of him, desperate for some outlet for its rage. It was taking all of Declan’s self-control to stop from turning right then and there, and he wasn’t sure how long he could manage to maintain himself. All he could think about was Blair and the fact he’d lost her, and that it might have been Lucy’s fault, and there was nothing he could do about.

  At least nothing legal.

  With one final roar, Declan threw himself on to the remainder of the torn-up bed and growled, hoping that some sleep might shut the bear up. It hadn’t worked so far, but every day brought fresh hope. Hope that his bear would calm. Hope that Blair might come back.

  Hope that he wouldn’t turn, and he banished from the clan forever, or worse…

  Put down like a wild animal.

  Chapter 18

  Blair

  Blair had just finished doing the dishes in her mother’s kitchen when she saw a cab pull up outside. Her mom, Alice, came into the kitchen in her wheelchair with a curious look on her face.

  “Blair, baby. Someone is outside. They aren’t knocking on the door. They’re just standing there pacing back and forth.”

  Blair sighed nervously. “Is it a man or a woman?”

  “Woman. I couldn’t see who it was, but it kind of looked like Scarlett? Would Scarlett come here without telling you?”

  Blair set down the dish towel with a frustrated grumble and walked to the foyer, wiped off her hands on the front of her jeans. She knew Scarlett eventually would figure out where she was. She just wished she had some more time to think.

  When she opened the front door, Scarlett was on the other side with a backpack slung over her shoulder, facing the other way and talking to herself nervously.

  “Scar?”

  Scarlett turned around, startled, then threw her arms around Blair in a giant hug. Blair remained stiff for a moment, then broke down and hugged her best friend back, happier to see her than she thought possible. When Scarlett pulled away, there were tears in her eyes.

  “Blair! Why… where… What the hell, Blair?”

  Blair laughed in spite of herself and waved Scarlett inside of the tiny house. Alice came out of the kitchen, and Scarlett rushed over to hug her too.

  “Scarlett! I can’t believe you’re here! It’s been ages, honey.”

  Scarlett brushed the tears from her eyes and smiled at Alice, who looked older but just as beautiful as the last time Scarlett had been in New York.

  “Too long. I’m sorry I haven’t been down to visit. Things have been crazy.”

  Alice winked. “Oh, I’ve heard all about your fella. I’m very happy for you, young lady.”

  Blair gave her mother a head tilt and a grin. “Ma, do you mind if Scarlett and I have a few minutes alone?”

  “No problem! I’ll head out on the porch and do a little reading. It’s too nice of a night to be cooped up inside anyway.”

  Once Alice was out of earshot, Scarlett spun on Blair so fast, she jumped a foot backward in fear.

  “How could you do that, Blair? How could you just run off like that without saying anything? And then not answer my calls? Ignore me? It was bad enough to do it to Declan but why me? What the hell did I do to you?”

  Blair backed up until she was sitting on the couch. She didn’t entirely know what to say or where to start, so she figured the beginning was the best place.

  “I didn’t want to be a bandage, Scarlett. If he was just looking for someone to fill a void, to keep his bed warm, that wasn’t going to be me. I’m sorry I left without telling you, but I knew you’d try to convince me to come back and I just couldn’t deal with that. Not yet. I needed some time to think, to get my head together. So much happened so fast and I wasn’t ready to face it.”

  Scarlett looked totally confused like Blair was speaking a completely foreign language. “Blair, what the hell are you talking about? Where did you get the idea that Declan was using you?”

  Blair shrunk back. “Lucy.”

  Scarlett’s jaw dropped. Her whole demeanor changed, and she looked like she was a bear that was about to go on a rampage.

  “LUCY? Declan’s ex-girlfriend, Lucy? When the hell did you talk to Lucy?”

  Blair sighed and leaned back into the couch, grabbing a pillow to hug for support.

  “She was at the lodge.”

  Scarlett scrunched her face up in confusion. “What lodge? Our lodge? When the hell was she at our lodge?”

  “The night I left. You and Lani went to bed, and I went out on the porch to wait for Declan. But Lucy was there. And she told me about the whole mate thing, what it really meant, and how Declan only wanted me to satiate his bear.”

  Scarlett collapsed into an old wing chair, now looking as if she’d been hit by a bus. “Why, in the name of all that is holy, would you believe anything that fruitcake said to you? You saw her at the engagement party. You know what kind of person she is. Why didn’t you come wake me up? Scream? Break something? Anything. And why was Lucy at the lodge? Did she tell you that?”

  Blair had to think back to remember. Everything had become so hazy, and she’d been actively working to block as much out as she could.

  “Something about confronting Declan and Kurt? I honestly don’t remember anymore, Scarlett. Why? What is the difference?”

  Scarlett threw her hands up in the air. “Are you kidding me, Blair? Why would you trust her over me? Over Declan?”

  “I don’t know Declan, Scarlett!” Blair let out in a frustrated huff.

  “You know him a lot better than you know Lucy," Scarlett countered. "And you know me a hell of a lot better than you both of them. You should have talked to me, Blair,” Scarlett half-shouted, exasperated.

  “So, what are you trying to tell me?” Blair asked, leaning forward on her knees, already tired.

  “That you made a stupid decision. That Declan never did anything but like you. Maybe even love you. And that when you ran off, everything went to shit. Declan has been a mess. Kurt doesn’t know how to help him. I’m not asking you to marry him, Blair. But you need to understand that this mate thing is a two-way street. What he’s feeling? It’s going to affect you too. It may take longer because you’re human, but it will get to you. I’m telling you. You’re meant to be with him.”

  Blair’s breath caught in her throat, and he she had to choke down a rapidly developing cry. The truth was, she had felt it. Especially since she left. All she’d thought about since the day she drove away from the lodge was Declan, and it had been affecting her work, her life, everything. It was as if a piece of her heart was missing and no matter how hard she tried to forget him, she wasn't able to. She wanted to be with him, more than anything, but she also didn’t want to be a pawn in anyone’s game.

  “Scarlett, what do I do? I don’t know what I believe, but I know I’ve made a mess of things. I can’t just go back. Not after all of this.”

  Scarlet crossed over the living room and got on her knees in front of Blair, taking her best friend’s hands in her own. “You can come back, Blair. You can come back with me, right now. You can talk to Declan, and explain everything. It’s not too late. We still may be able to save him.”

  Blair’s eyebrows shot up, and her face went pale. “Save him? From what? What happened?”

  Scarlett sat back on her ankles with a weary groan. “It’s the mate madness. With you gone, he’s basically losing his mind. His own mind. His bear is taking over, and the bear is out of control. It will eventually go crazy, and Kurt will have to banish Declan from the house. Or worse, if Declan shifts and can’t get back. It’s bad, Blair, and only you can fix this. I’m sorry to put that on you, but it’s the truth.”

  Blair swept her ha
ir out of her eyes and looked up at the ceiling, hoping maybe there would be an answer there. There wasn’t. All she had were own decisions, and whatever her heart told her. And her heart seemed to be as confused as the rest of her.

  “Scarlett, I just don’t know what…”

  Blair was interrupted when Scarlett’s cell phone started ringing in her bag. Scarlett pulled it out and sighed. “It’s Kurt. Hold on a second.”

  Blair thought she could take a minute to gather her thoughts and decide what to do, but as soon as Scarlett answered her phone, the chaos on the other end was so loud, Blair could hear it herself.

  “Kurt! What is going on? I can barely hear you!”

  Blair just made out indiscriminate screaming, growling, and the sound of glass shattering. Then more screaming, and the words, “turning,” “insane,” and “panic room.” Scarlett’s face was reflecting Blair’s inner panic, and Blair could see her start to shake.

  “Are you safe?... Okay, yes. Yes, we’ll be on the next plane… Yes, we. She’s coming with me… Can you control him until then?... Then just stay away from him! We’ll be back as soon as we can!”

  Scarlett threw her phone in her bag and turned to Blair. “Say goodbye to your mom and get your stuff. We’re going back to Colorado.”

  ***

  The flight back to Colorado was the longest of Blair’s life. All she could think about was the fact that Declan was out of control, and it was all her fault. Scarlett barely spoke from the time they left Alice’s house; Blair could tell that she was worried about Kurt, and Blair felt guilty about that too. If only she had just stayed and talked to them, and not trust that woman…

  No; this isn’t the time to dwell. I have to focus on getting to Declan and helping him, Blair thought.