by Jody Holford
“I’m sorry. Truly sorry,” Gabby said, her voice rough, like sandpaper running over rocks. She’d let herself fall into a fairy tale and believe she’d come out victorious. Instead, she felt like the villain. The interloper.
“Why are you sorry?” Ophelia asked, looking genuinely surprised.
“Because it was wrong to lie just to avoid hurting some feelings and I should have stood stronger.” She looked at Owen. It physically hurt to meet his eyes. “I should have told you no. All I want is for you to be happy, but I should have stayed true to myself. You have this beautiful family and they are a gift.”
She looked around the table at all of them, pulling her cloth napkin between her fingers. “You are a gift to each other. I know you’re mad at Owen. You have every right to be. But I can tell you, with absolute certainty, that holding on to that anger and walking away carrying it in your heart could be the biggest mistake of your lives.”
Gabby stood up, tossed the napkin on her plate. “Bigger than lying or playing pretend.” She looked at Owen. “Bigger than pretending you don’t love your best friend when he asks you to pretend that you do. Fight it out. Yell at each other. But don’t for one minute leave here without realizing that I’d give anything,” she said, pausing when her voice broke, “anything, to have what you all have. It started as a lie, but for me, every bit of it was real. More real than anything I’ve known in far too long. I’m sorry I lied, but I’m so grateful I got to be part of this Christmas. It was…everything.”
There was nothing else she could say. She walked from the table, everyone breathing in stunned silence. She’d grabbed her phone and her purse by the time Owen rose from the table.
“Gabriella, wait. Hold on. Don’t go like this.”
She turned to face him, putting her hand up to stop him when he started to close the distance between them. “Don’t. Please. I just need some time. I know you didn’t want anything to change, O. But that’s not life. Things change. I’m not saying we can’t go back, that we can’t be friends. I get that you weren’t ready for the commitment of a ring, I really do. I can handle that. But it can’t ever be the same.” Because she couldn’t look at him any longer, she looked around the table at each of them. Her gaze settled on Ophelia. “I’m sorry for my part in the deception. I hope you can all forgive me.”
Without waiting to hear or see a response, she rushed out, biting back the tears until she crossed the hall and got to her own place. She struggled with the lock, then shoved the door open. When she slammed it shut, she realized she was shutting the door on everything she’d dreamed of having. Everything that, for just a tiny piece of time, she thought had been hers.
Falling back against the door, she sank down, pulling her knees up to her chest and letting the tears come. It was okay to mourn what was lost. It was the only way to heal.
Chapter Sixteen
Owen fought the urge to throw his plate across the room. What the hell had just happened? He’d started over, cleaned the goddamn slate, and everything he wanted had just walked out the door anyway. She knew about the ring. She had heard the conversation, which meant that Gabby lied to him. Though he had not one ounce of room to judge, the knowledge burned a hole in his gut. She’d lied to him and left without giving him a chance to say his piece. He was still standing, staring at the spot Gabby had just fled from, and realized his family was watching him. He turned, meeting the censure in their eyes head on.
He deserved it.
He thought it would be his mom or his dad that lit into him. He deserved that, too. He braced for it. But his dad hung his head, scooped up his last bite of turkey and potatoes and chewed silently. His mom picked up her wine and sipped. Patty followed suit. Dammit. He was such an idiot.
Ophelia was pulling her napkin from one hand to the other, the cloth slipping through her fingers. She tossed it on the table, picked up her wine, and downed the rest of the glass. Then she stood and walked to stand directly in front of him.
She poked him in the shoulder. “You are a goddamn idiot. Possibly the biggest idiot I’ve ever encountered. And trust me, I’ve known a few. We don’t always see eye to eye and that’s okay. Family has to love; they don’t have to be the same. They have to accept differences and maybe put up with some quirks. But they don’t goddamn lie and scheme like this. Who the hell are you? How could you do this? And more importantly, how could you do that to Gabby?” She pointed her finger toward the hallway. He started to speak, but she cut him off. “Whatever game you were playing, it might have been fake to you, but that girl loves you—and there is nothing fake about it. And on top of being a stupid lying ass to us, you were too blind to see it. You broke her trust and her heart for your own selfish gain because you weren’t enough of a goddamn man to say ‘hey Mom, I don’t like so much noise at Christmas.’”
Owen’s stomach dropped. His mother smacked her hand on the table. “Ophelia. Language.”
Ophelia laughed angrily. “Right. By all means, let’s be polite and sweet about this.”
His dad stood. “You know, Owen, when you love people, all you want to do is be with them.” His hands gripped the back of his chair and Owen felt a lump lodge in his throat. “I have a feeling you realize that more than you think. You just want to be around those people you love and if you have to make some adjustments, you don’t mind. In fact, you’re happy to do it.” His eyes met Owen’s and Owen felt like a child again, one who deserved his father’s disappointment. “You might even spend your much needed vacation time traveling by train to visit your son in his fancy-ass apartment, simply because that’s what makes the people you love happy. You know that, I think, because you’d do that for Gabby. A woman you’ve known for two years. A woman I think you’re just realizing you love. But you’ve known us your whole life. How could you not think we’d do the same for you? Adjust to accommodate whatever it was that was holding you back?”
“I don’t know.” Owen’s voice was gravelly. It hurt his throat to speak. “I’m sorry, Dad. I’m truly sorry. The only thing I wanted was a quiet Christmas and instead of asking for that, asking for exactly what I got, I lied to get it. I can’t change that, but I can tell you I won’t ever break your trust again.”
His dad nodded, but said nothing else.
“And what about Gabby?” his mom said, not looking at him.
Jesus. Gabby. He couldn’t live with what he’d done, what he’d missed, what had been staring him in the face this whole time. He’d been worried about telling her he wanted more, that he didn’t want to go back to just being friends, completely oblivious to her feelings. Sure, he knew she was into him now, but she loved him. He hadn’t wanted to say the words, not in front of people, because he hadn’t wanted to scare her off. He thought his parents would leave, they’d ease over the threshold of friends to lovers, and then he’d tell her loved her.
He was supposed to know her. She was his person. He was hers. And he’d let her down so badly, he wondered if there was any way to salvage what they had. What he’d slammed a rock through and shattered. He took a step toward the door, fear crawling into his chest and sending a shiver down his spine.
“Leave her be, Owen,” Patty said. Owen looked at her.
“Excuse me?”
She lifted her wineglass as if punctuating her words. “That girl gave you everything, asking nothing in return. Until two minutes ago. She asked you to give her time and it is, swear to God, the absolute least thing you can do. If you love her, give her that.”
His shoulders sagged. He’d wanted to give her everything. But not this. He didn’t want to give her time to realize he didn’t deserve her. That he was an oblivious screw-up who couldn’t see what was right in front of his goddamn face. But Patty was right. His whole family was. He looked around at all of them.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I wrecked Christmas.”
His mother stood then and Owen didn’t think there was any piece of his heart left to crack. But the sadness in her eyes proved him wron
g. She walked to him, putting an arm around his waist and Ophelia’s. “Christmas isn’t over. At least we got our meal and presents out of the way. Let’s clean up, we’ll play cards. Maybe watch a movie. It’s not over yet. Let’s salvage what we can.”
Owen shuffled his feet alongside his mom and prayed, with everything in him, that what she said could ring true for him and Gabby as well. It just couldn’t be over.
Chapter Seventeen
Gabby had done three things when she’d finished sobbing on the floor: changed into pajamas—Christmas ones. Grabbed an actual bucket—well, large bowl—of snacks. And turned on the television to an all-Christmas-all-day channel. And then she did her best not to move. Because moving hurt. Thinking hurt. At the moment, even with Buddy the Elf on screen, even breathing hurt. She’d been so stupid and she hated that almost more than everything else. She knew the realities of life—how harsh and cold they could be. So why had she let herself think she’d get the guy in the end?
A knock on the door brought her out of her hazy cloud of pity. She glanced toward the sound but was reluctant to move. Another knock. She couldn’t see Owen, yet. It had only been a few hours. Okay. Eight. But she couldn’t see him. Pushing her fleece blanket off her lap, she set her chip bag on the coffee table and padded to the door. If it was him, she wouldn’t open.
It wasn’t. She saw Brady through the peek hole. “Open up, Gabs. I come bearing gifts.”
She opened the door, knowing he wouldn’t care about her puffy eyes or pajamas. She tried to smile. “Merry Christmas.”
He tilted his head and gave her a sweet half-smile that brought the lump back to her throat. Stupid Owen. Brady knew, which meant that one more person in her very small circle knew what an asshat idiot she was.
“You okay?”
She shrugged. “What’s in the bag?” She pointed to the festive holiday bag he was holding.
He grinned. “Let me in. You show me mine, I’ll show you yours.”
Though it felt rough, like she was recovering from a bad chest cold, she laughed and moved out of the way, shutting the door behind him. They walked to the living room and she turned the volume down on the TV. Since Owen had her tree, she’d left a few gifts just wrapped on a side table. She grabbed Brady’s and sat on one end of the couch. He sat on the other, looking at her expectantly.
“What did Owen say?” she asked.
Brady set the bag on the coffee table and Gabby tried to pretend she wasn’t curious. “He didn’t say anything. What the hell is going on? All he did was text me a dozen times begging me to check on you and said he’d explain later.”
Tears stung. She practically tossed the gift at Brady and grabbed the one he’d brought for her. “Nothing is going on. I misread a situation because I’m stupid. I got what I deserved.”
She’d started to tug at the tissue paper sticking out the top, but Brady shifted closer and gave her a side-hug.
“What’s that mean? You’re about the furthest thing from stupid I can imagine. And as to what you deserve, the list is endless.”
She smiled, some of the sadness vacating her heart with his compliment. “Thank you. That’s nice of you to say.”
He squeezed her hand and then released it. “Not just saying it, Gabs. You’re incredibly talented, funny, smart, and gorgeous. I don’t know what’s going on and I’m worried because I love you both. But I can tell you this, Owen could look the world over and never find a woman as great as you. So again, as to what you deserve? It’s a hell of a lot.”
A few tears slipped past and she wiped them away with her finger tips. “Thank you,” she whispered. He had no reason to say it and even if it was hard for her to believe, he believed it. Which mattered.
“Open your gift. You’ll feel better. I promise.” He grinned like a little kid.
Gabby took out the tissue paper and found a carton of her favorite ice cream. She pulled it out, laughing. “This is perfect.”
“There’s more,” he said, gesturing to the bag.
She dug in and found a coupon book that gave her twelve “one free ice-cream cone” tickets. For the first time since the day began, the pressure in Gabby’s chest loosened and she laughed for real.
“Thank you. Absolutely perfect,” she said again. “Let me put this in the freezer and then you can open yours.” She brought a soda for him and settled back in her spot.
He tore open the wrapping and held up the dark blue T-shirt. He read the front and chuckled, his eyes smiling. “This is awesome. You have it made?”
She nodded. “Kind of. I drew your car and did the lettering then took it to a T-shirt design place.” Brady loved his car and she’d written the caption Mechanics know how to make your engine purr in block letters under it.
He leaned over and kissed her cheek. “I seriously love it. Thank you.” He put it on the back of the couch and opened his soda, and grabbed her bag of chips. He leaned back, grabbing a handful of chips and shoving them in his mouth.
“I have some good news,” he said when he finished chewing.
“Oh yeah?”
“Our screw-up building manager is history.”
Gabby sat forward. “What? He was here yesterday.”
“Yeah, but his apartment is cleared out. Something has gone down. I’m not entirely sure what, but it was enough to get him to leave. It’s pretty obvious he was behind the thefts. Maybe all the cop presence spooked him. I got in touch with the building owner’s daughter. Apparently she’s in charge of daddy dearest’s property, but she’s overseas. Left her a few messages and she finally got back to me this morning.”
Gabby’s mind was buzzing. Apparently the world could continue to function even after Owen broke her heart. “It’s good she got back to you.”
He wiped his hands on his jeans and put the bag back on the table. “Yeah. She said she’d been in touch with one of the tenants and the police and assured me that Jake would no longer be an issue. Offered me a pretty sweet cut on my rent if I’d take over until she could get here.”
“Wow. That’s crazy. Obviously, you’ll do it, but what about your shop?”
He shrugged. “I got guys working for me. I’ll call a meeting and tell the tenants what’s up. I am curious which of them she’d been in touch with, though.”
“Yeah,” Gabby said, her mind cataloging the options. It could have been any of them. “At least he’s gone. You’re way less creepy than him.”
Brady picked a piece of chip off his shirt and tossed it at Gabby. “Really nice.”
“Did you have a good Christmas?” she asked, covering a yawn.
“Good enough. Went to one of my mechanic’s. His wife put on an awesome spread. I need to get going. I’ve got a side job I have to do tomorrow. Will you be all right?”
She nodded. What choice did she have?
She walked him to the door and sighed, leaning into him, when he pressed a kiss to her forehead. “You’re both my friends, Gabs. I just want you to be happy. Don’t give up on happy, yet, okay?”
She stepped back and nodded. Brady’s lips tilted into a frown and then he added, “Or Owen.”
Though her heart pinched painfully, she just nodded again. When he left, she straightened up and crawled into bed, all too aware of how big it felt with no one beside her.
Chapter Eighteen
Owen figured he’d felt more nervousness in the past couple weeks than he had in his lifetime. His family had left on the twenty-sixth—three days ago. His mother hadn’t wanted to go without saying goodbye to Gabriella. He’d convinced her that he needed time to work on getting Gabby back, for good, and couldn’t start until his family left. He also promised that whether he fixed things or not, he’d come home to visit for his birthday in January. He just hoped like hell he’d be visiting with Gabby.
Owen hadn’t been able to sleep since Christmas night. He’d spent a lot of time thinking about his relationship with his best friend. He couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment he knew he was full-on-head-over
-heels-never-get-over-it-in-love with her because maybe a little part of him always had been. What he knew now was that if he couldn’t get her back, if he couldn’t fix what was broken between them, his life would never be the same. He’d given her a few days and he’d spent that time putting his home back in order and thinking about how to prove to Gabby they were more than friends. He didn’t just want to date Gabby or sleep with her or make her laugh every day. He wanted to be her forever because regardless of what happened, she was his.
Brady had been over the day before to grab Gabby’s canvas and paints. Owen had chickened out a dozen times already this morning, but he couldn’t go any longer without seeing her.
He knocked on her door. It felt foreign to do so. There was no answer. He knocked again, more urgently. Where would she go? She didn’t have to work today. Min’s? He could call, but if he was wrong, Min would know something was up. For a tiny little woman, she could incite fear with just a look, and Owen knew he’d more than earned her wrath.
“Son of a—.” He plunked his head against the door. He texted Brady: Do you know where Gabby is?
Leaning against the wall, he waited, growing more irritated by the second. He shouldn’t have waited. He should have come over yesterday or the day before. He shouldn’t have screwed things up in the first place.
Brady texted back: Lose your girl again?
Owen growled and pushed off the wall, pacing the hallway. Don’t be an ass. Do you know or not?
Brady was swift. Too soon? Sorry man, I don’t.
Owen’s hand clenched on the phone. His stomach was a ball of knots tangled too tight. He needed to find her. He knew her. Where would she go? An idea popped into his head and because it felt right, because he needed to be right, he went with it. Hurrying back into his apartment, he grabbed his keys and a jacket. He’d find her—and he’d do it on the first try.
If he drove all over town looking, she’d never know. She’d only know that he found her. But for him, it was like a test, and if he failed, he’d question whether he deserved her; whether he knew her inside and out. Like she knew him.