Casting Call (Off Screen Book 5)

by J. A. Armstrong

  “Well, is Tuesday too long to wait?” Emma asked.

  “What?” Addison asked.

  Emma smiled. “You were so upset that I called back and rescheduled for Tuesday. I figured we would leave Sunday afternoon.”

  “You’re serious.”

  “I am,” Emma said. She watched as Addison’s eyes took on the sparkle of a child on Christmas morning. “But, I am driving.” Emma saw Addison begin to protest and kissed her gently. “No arguments, Addy or we stay home,” Emma said. Addison nodded. “Just wondering,” Emma began.

  “Wondering what?” Addison asked.

  “Why this got you so upset?”

  Addison pursed her lips and gathered her thoughts. “Em…I…”

  “Tell me,” Emma encouraged Addison softly.

  “I don’t know,” Addison said. “I guess it just makes it real in some way. Do you know what I mean?”

  “I think so.”

  “You’ll think I am crazy,” Addison said.

  “Crazy? I doubt it. Silly? Maybe,” Emma joked. “But, that silliness is part of the reason I love you so much.”

  “Thanks—I think,” Addison said.

  “You know what I mean.”

  “Yeah, I do,” Addison admitted. “Okay…The thing is…This is the most important thing to me, next to you. More than the show. More than this house. More than Tamara even.”

  “I know that,” Emma said.

  “Tam has teased me for years, you know?” Addison said.

  “I know,” Emma said. “But, Addy, in some ways that’s because she envies who you are.”

  “Yeah. She doesn’t understand, though. She may not be close to her parents, but she has other family. I don’t have a family, Emma.”

  Emma closed her eyes against the tidal wave of emotional pain Addison’s honest statement produced within her. “Addy…”

  “No, listen. I have you and I have your family. But…”

  Emma felt a tear slip over her cheek. She looked down at Addison. The pieces of the puzzle were coming together. Addison had been restless the last few days. Emma had chalked it up to the weekend trip and Addison’s excitement. She had noticed that Addison was in her home office a few days earlier with the door closed. When Addison had finally emerged, she had headed almost immediately for the pool to swim laps. Suddenly, things were making sense. “You called your father the other day; didn’t you?” Addison didn’t answer. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Emma inquired gently.

  “I don’t know,” Addison confessed.

  “What happened?” Emma asked. Addison closed her eyes. “You told him; didn’t you?” Another tear washed over Addison’s cheek. “Oh, honey. What were you hoping he would say?”

  “I don’t know that either,” Addison admitted sadly. She opened her eyes and looked at Emma. “I want to do it right, Em.”

  Emma smiled. “You will.”

  “What if I fuck up?”

  Emma kept smiling. “You are not going to. You know our kids will have their issues just like we do. My parents aren’t perfect either. My dad was not always the way you know him now.”

  “I know, but he always loved you.”

  Emma nodded. “Addy, your father loves you. He just doesn’t know how to show that, I don’t think.”

  “Maybe. I never want our kids to feel that way,” Addison said. Emma laughed. “Is that funny?”

  “A little,” Emma said. She saw Addison’s face harden and cupped Addison’s cheek. “It’s funny because you are the goofiest, most demonstrative, loving person I know. If anything they will probably be embarrassed as teenagers over your constant fawning. I still don’t understand why this trip…”

  “I guess it made me feel better….after talking to him.”

  “Going to Monterey?”

  “Yeah. Doing it. Not just talking about it. Knowing that he can’t take my family away from me anymore. It’s not his to take this time,” Addison said.

  Emma closed the short distance between them and kissed Addison tenderly. One thing that Emma understood fully about her wife, Addison was immensely sensitive. She had loved her mother dearly. She still loved her father. No matter how hard Addison tried to suppress the pain the distance between them caused her, it was evident to Emma. Addison learned to live with that hurt. She learned to use her writing as an outlet for the questions it left in her head and the longings that it caused in her heart.

  Emma tried to convey in the gentleness of her kiss what she knew her words could never explain. She didn’t need Addison to tell her what had transpired during that call nor why Addison had felt inclined to tell her father that she and Emma were trying to start a family. Some small part of Addison hoped it that it would turn the tide in their relationship. Addison wanted her father to share her joy they way Emma’s mother had when Emma had told her they wanted to start a family. Addison had to try. That was Addison. Emma was certain that Addison would keep trying as long as there was breath in her body. It was one of the many qualities that Addison Blake possessed that assured Emma she would be an extraordinary partner and parent. “I love you, Addy.”

  Addison smiled at Emma. “I’m sorry.”

  “Sorry?”

  “Yeah,” Addison said. “For being such a baby about everything. You probably think you’ll have to deal with two infants.”

  Emma’s smile was warm and genuine. “Don’t you ever apologize for what you feel,” she said. “And, everything you just said…everything you are is the reason I want this with you. Whatever his faults, Addy, your father raised an incredible woman.”

  Addison kissed Emma and pulled her into an embrace. “Tuesday, huh?”

  “Mm-hm,” Emma yawned.

  “Em?”

  “Hum?”

  “Are you sure you are ready?”

  “Mm-hm. Go to sleep. With any luck, you are going to need it soon.”

  Addison smiled and closed her eyes. “I hope so.”

  Chapter Three

  “I’m surprised that Emma didn’t come,” Tamara commented.

  “Oh. Well, I was able to break away early. She’s got some scenes to finish up tomorrow,” Addison explained. “How about you? How are things in Vancouver?”

  Tamara smiled. She had made the final move to Vancouver to live with her girlfriend Christie six months earlier. So far, things had been going well for the pair. Tamara was able to find a job with a small production company. It was not quite as challenging as the job she had left behind in Los Angeles, but she loved the people. The biggest plus was being close to Christie. “I love it there,” Tamara told her best friend.

  Addison nodded. She was thrilled for Tamara. She was also a bit surprised. Tamara had always been adamant about her single life and her career ambitions. Addison understood part of that was all bravado. She also knew that some of it was just Tamara. She and Tamara had similar backgrounds. They both had families but were largely estranged from them. Tamara had an aunt and cousins she remained close to. Addison did not. Her mother had been an only child and her father had little contact with his siblings. In both cases, the rift between their families was due to sexuality and career choice. Their conservative fathers seemed to think that daughters were best suited to nursing, teaching, office work and childbearing. Tamara had always been larger than life and a restless spirit. It was one of her coping mechanisms. That had quelled noticeably since Tamara made the move to Vancouver. Addison couldn’t help but notice the feeling of calm emanating from her best friend.

  “So, glad you made the move, huh?” Addison asked.

  “I am. I do miss you,” Tamara confessed a bit sadly. Addison nodded. “It’s true. That’s the only part that sucks. I miss you and Emma.”

  “We miss you too, Tam.”

  “So, what about you? What’s up at the Blake residence? I mean, not that I am not thrilled to spend a weekend with you, but it’s been a while since we did anything like this,” Tamara stated the obvious.

  Addison grinned. Emma was working,
but that was not the real reason she was not joining the pair for their weekend away in San Francisco. Addison hadn’t seen Tamara in almost three months. Jeff had purchased a home in Potrero Hill and had offered it to Addison and Emma whenever they felt the need to escape. Emma had suggested Addison take him up on the offer and invite Tamara. Addison gently urged Emma to join them. Emma declined.

  “Well, we’ve all been busy. Plus, you needed some time to get settled up there,” Addison said.

  “True,” Tamara admitted as she took a pull from her beer. She watched Addison carefully. Addison was tracing the rim of her beer bottle with her finger. It seemed to Tamara that Addison kept drifting away. “Addy? What gives?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Seriously? Where are you? That L.A. smog finally clouding your brain or what?” Tamara laughed.

  “Sorry,” Addison said. “So, you’re happy in Vancouver? Maybe that fresh air finally cleared out that jumble we call your brain.”

  “Funny,” Tamara said.

  Addison chuckled. “Gotta say, Tam, I never saw you doing the domestic thing.”

  “Me? Um, not quite. That’s you. I’m not the one who is waiting to cast a remake of Eight is Enough,” Tamara laughed. Addison grinned a bit uncomfortably. Tamara narrowed her gaze as Addison’s suddenly found the contents of her beer bottle fascinating. Tamara started laughing. “Holy shit! Are you knocked up?” Tamara asked. Addison looked up at Tamara harshly and then immediately burst out laughing. Tamara always had a way with words, a unique way. “You are!”

  “No, I’m not,” Addison shook her head laughing.

  “Oh,” Tamara’s expression seemed to hover between disappointment and confusion for a moment. Then her eyes flew open and she looked back at her best friend. “Oh my God! You knocked up Emma!”

  “Such a way with words,” Addison kept laughing.

  “Holy shit! You did!”

  “No one is ‘knocked up’ as you so eloquently put it,” Addison replied.

  “Huh? Really?”

  Addison sighed. “Not yet.”

  Tamara grinned widely. “Oh, man…That’s why you wanted to come here—to drop the bomb!”

  “The bomb?” Addison chuckled. “Our baby is a bomb?”

  “Well, yeah! Don’t forget, you promised to name your first after mwah!”

  Addison nodded. “Uh-huh.”

  “Oh, I am kidding,” Tamara said. She looked at Addison and reached across for her best friend’s hand. “Damn, you’re gonna be waddling!” she laughed.

  “Not exactly,” Addison responded.

  “What? You guys are adopting? Wait, this isn’t some kind of joke and you got a dog or something? Am I being punked?”

  Addison rolled her eyes. If nothing else, Tamara’s reaction did not disappoint her. Humor was Tamara’s way of dealing with anything remotely emotional. “You are not being punked.”

  “I don’t get it,” Tamara said.

  “No one is pregnant yet, Tam,” Addison said. Tamara opened her eyes wider to implore Addison’s further explanation. “Hopefully, soon,” Addison said.

  “Okay? So, you will be waddling!” Tamara gloated.

  “Sorry to disappoint you, Tam. I will not be doubling as a duck anytime soon.”

  “What the hell?”

  Addison laughed. “Maybe that smog is still stuck in your brain,” she said. “Emma, Tam. Hopefully, soon Emma will be pregnant.”

  Tamara’s jaw fell open. “Uhh…What about the show?”

  Addison shrugged. “There’s an opening.”

  “Emma’s leaving the show? Oh my God!”

  “No,” Addison laughed. “Genevieve is getting, to quote your favorite phrase, knocked up.”

  “No shit! Did Bellson pop his nut?”

  “How did you not pursue writing with that silver tongue of yours?” Addison laughed.

  “Ha-ha. Did he?”

  “Not yet. He doesn’t know,” Addison smirked.

  “Oh shit! When did you get so evil?” Tamara grinned.

  “He just brings out the best in me,” Addison said flatly. “And, I don’t care what he says anyway.”

  “Wow. Do you think he will? What about Jeff?”

  “No one knows. Not yet. I had thought that I might end the season with Dominick’s death as a cliffhanger. But, Dan is so great. And, this will definitely work for the show,” Addison said.

  “It will work for the show? Addy? Please tell me that is not why you are doing this.”

  Addison smiled. “Not at all. I would have ended the show if we couldn’t make it work.”

  “You are serious,” Tamara was stunned by the admission. “What’s the rush?”

  “Rush? We’ve been married for a year, Tam. I hardly think most people would call that a rush,” Addison pointed out.

  “Okay…How does Emma feel about all this?”

  “Actually, she is the one who brought it up a couple of months ago.”

  “Wow,” Tamara said again. “So? When?”

  Addison sighed. “It takes time.”

  Tamara nodded. “Well, I guess you’ll be buying that big ranch sooner than later,” she said. Addison smiled. “Are you? Holy crap! You’re going to….”

  “No. We aren’t moving anytime soon,” Addison said flatly. “Maybe in a few years.” Tamara was silent. “What’s wrong?” Addison asked.

  “Nothing,” Tamara said unconvincingly.

  “Tam?”

  “I’m happy for you guys.”

  “But?”

  “I will miss you.”

  “Tam, I’m not dying,” Addison chuckled.

  “Yeah, but face it, Addy, we hardly see each other now,” Tamara said sadly.

  Addison nodded. She suddenly understood why Emma had wanted Tamara and Addison to have the weekend alone. They were more than best friends. Tamara was like a sister to Addison. Emma had told Addison more than once that she considered Tamara as much a part of their family as she did her brothers. Tamara needed to know that. “Tam,” Addison called for her best friend’s attention.

  “You guys are going to have some cute kids,” Tamara said in an attempt to shift their dialogue.

  “Tamara,” Addison said firmly. “You have a great life with Christie.”

  “I know.”

  “It’s different, I know. Tam, you are my family. You know that, don’t you?” Addison asked. She could feel herself beginning to battle her emotions.

  Tamara nodded. “I know. I really am happy for you. This is what you always wanted. I’m just an asshole.”

  Addison shook her head. “No, you aren’t. If you had met Christie first, I would have been kind of lonely.”

  “Maybe. You would never have said so,” Tamara admitted.

  “Tam, I love you. I will always need you in my life. No one will change that.”

  Tamara smiled. “I know, Addy. I guess maybe part of me is jealous too.”

  “Of what? Of Emma?”

  “No, that you have the guts to do it all,” Tamara admitted.

  “You mean have kids?”

  “Yeah. That too. I just don’t think I could do that. I don’t have the patience. I’m way too selfish to be someone’s mother. Hell, I struggle to just be nice most days.”

  Addison laughed. “That is not true. You never wanted kids. You don’t have to have kids, Tam to be happy or even to have a family. And, I think you sell yourself short an awful lot. I wouldn’t have made it through my mom’s death without you. You put things on hold time and again for me. You should give yourself a break.”

  “Maybe.”

  “And, besides both Em and I want you around. I mean, how else are our kids going to learn to spar verbally?”

  Tamara finally laughed. “I’ll try to limit the colorful language. I promise.”

  “Well, thanks for that,” Addison said.

  “That’s what best friends are for,” Tamara replied. Addison could see her returning to herself a bit. “Are you scared at all?” Tama
ra asked.

  “Shitless,” Addison confessed through a nervous giggle.

  “Really?”

  “Yep.”

  “Of what?” Tamara wondered.

  Addison sighed. “Well, mostly that I will suck at it.”

  “Being a mom?”

  “Yeah.”

  “No way,” Tamara said flatly. “One thing I do know, Addy—you and Emma are made for this family thing.”

  “Oh, really?”

  “Yeah. You got married on the fucking prairie for God’s sake. You’re a writer. If that’s not foreshadowing, I don’t know what is.”

  Addison laughed. “Don’t forget, I know all about your Hallmark Channel addiction.”

  “Screw you, Addy.”

  “I hope you are right,” Addison said seriously.

  “Of course, I am right. I’m always right.”

  Addison rolled her eyes. “Uh-huh. As I recall, you told me at least a thousand times that Emma was straight.”

  “Well, okay, there is that.”

  “And, that you would never live with anyone,” Addison said.

  “Well…That was…”

  “And, that Christie was not your Emma…”

  “All right!” Tamara said forcefully. “I get the point! Remind me not to call you for an ego boost.”

  “But can I call you for diaper duty?”