Fragments of your Soul (The Mirror Worlds Book 1)

by Erbsland, E. S.

  “And how do you know all this?”

  “Books are filled with stories about it!”

  “And you think that everything written in books is automatically true?” said Arvid. Of course she knew that Loke was no saint. He was probably insane, but she refused to see him as some kind of monster, just because others tried to convince her of that. Even Master Coth had warned her about taking the stories at face value.

  “I think that every story contains some truth,” said Gerdur and looked at her firmly. “And that alone is enough for me to realize that Loke is dangerous and you should stay away from him at all costs. Not for nothing people say that he is the harbinger of chaos.”

  “Sometimes people exaggerate,” Nod said flatly.

  Arvid and Gerdur almost simultaneously turned around to him. Gerdur seemed surprised for a moment, then he shrugged.

  “Sure,” he said, “but there are good reasons. If Loke was kind and selfless, there would be no such stories.”

  “Loke certainly has his faults,” Nod said. “People fear him because he is unpredictable. It is reassuring to be able to blame someone for the world’s ills. I think Loke enjoys that role.”

  “You’d think you have sympathy for him,” Gerdur said sharply, and Arvid suddenly realized that he had no idea of Nod’s connection to Loke.

  “I’m just trying not to let myself be blinded by prejudice,” said Nod.

  “I’m going to bed,” Arvid said loudly and stood up at once. She didn’t know where the feeling came from, but suddenly she could no longer bear it all. Too much had happened already that night; she had learned and heard too much. She didn’t want to witness a burgeoning dispute between Gerdur and Nod. Her head already felt like a buzzing bee’s nest.

  Fortunately the two didn’t object and wished her a good night, Gerdur murmuring and without looking at her. Arvid had only taken a few steps across the room, when a loud voice could be heard through the hall: “Arvid!”

  She froze and felt countless glances directed at her. It was Loke who had called her. When she looked up at his table, the situation had considerably changed. Borgarr still looked angry, but he had apparently given up and retreated to the opposite corner of the table, where he was engrossed in conversation with Aeldjarn. Master Coth, Lanfei and Ull held cups in their hands and seemed relaxed and cheerful, but others still threw him grim glances. Loke himself was adored by a young blonde woman at his side, from whose grip he now freed his arm.

  “You don’t want to leave without saying goodbye, do you?” he shouted, rounding the table and coming straight toward Arvid. She felt as if half the hall was staring at her. A clear murmur rose at the tables around them.

  When he arrived at her, he took her hand, and at the same moment any movement around them seemed to come to a halt. Arvid looked around startled and instinctively tried to withdraw her hand, but Loke held her firmly.

  “Don’t let go,” he said urgently. “On your own you can’t leave the time stream for that long, and I need to talk to you.”

  Now Arvid understood. He used the gift of time bending and had, by this simple touch, pulled her with him. Their environment didn’t stand still, it only moved infinitely slowly. The noise in the hall had become a strange, distorted, increasing and decreasing volume. Arvid took a deep breath and turned to Loke, who looked at her carefully.

  “Always carry the map with you,” he said. “In the worst case you will have no access to other maps. But as I said, only come find me in case of an emergency. Here at the school you are better off than anywhere else.”

  “Good,” Arvid said.

  “Nod will keep an eye on you,” Loke said, “but you keep away from him. It mustn’t look as if you are friends, understood?”

  “Understood.”

  “I also think it would be safer if you gave up all your other friendships here at school.”

  He let go of her hand. At the same moment everything around them awoke to rushing and clamorous life again.

  “But that will probably happen all by itself.” He leaned toward her and kissed her on the cheek. “So until next time,” he whispered in her ear. Before Arvid had overcome her surprise, Loke had turned around and was gone.

  The next few weeks were nothing like before. The rumors spread like wildfire, and wherever Arvid showed up, students put their heads together and whispered behind her back. In the dining hall, everyone avoided her. No one laughed; no one spoke loud enough that she could hear it. They talked about her, but the mood was marked by mistrust and fear—all because she had been seen together with Loke.

  Gerdur made an effort to behave normally around her, but it wasn’t to be overlooked that he was avoiding her, too. He didn’t exactly stay out of her way, but he never came up to her or spoke to her by himself. When she talked to him, he seemed aloof and distant. Nod seemed to have disappeared completely, but she heard rumors that he and Gerdur had fallen out.

  Initially Aleri tried to cheer her up, but soon Arvid realized that she was slowly worn down, too, and started to keep a distance. The many rumors didn’t leave her friend untouched. Many even came to her because they thought they would learn more details from her. Some said Arvid was a distant relative of Loke; others went as far as to say he had proposed to her at the festival. The most absurd stories were circulating, and sounded as if they came directly from a book of fairytales. Sometimes Arvid didn’t know whether to laugh or despair about it. With each passing day, she understood better why Loke didn’t always want to be recognized, and in her spare time she began to browse through the library, looking for information about him.

  Arvid realized that Loke was one of the best-known gods in the Shadow World. What one actually knew about him was very limited, though. Although there was a staggering amount of writing about him, it was still all speculation, conjecture and rumors. Arvid didn’t even manage to find out how old Loke was. When she finally found reasonable and credible-sounding information, she shortly after came across a contradictory statement that seemed just as well-founded.

  Nearly two weeks had passed since the festival when Thoke visited her in her room one evening. Although their relationship had been tense before the festival, he now seemed to be the only one left unimpressed by all the rumors. Thoke was also the only person to whom Arvid confided what she had agreed with Loke.

  “Do you remember this?” he asked. He pulled a map out of a leather wallet and handed it to her.

  Arvid nodded, surprised. It was the map with the red dots, which was inscribed in Old Jördisch. She had almost forgotten about it, because ever since the festival she had had no motivation to continue studying the world transitions.

  “Falla helped me to translate it,” Thoke said, pointing to the text at the bottom edge. “It says here that the red dots are places where world transitions were observed, between the year fifty-two and two hundred sixty-eight.” He ran his finger over a second text directly above it. “The lighter dots are transitions that have been added later on and were recorded between two hundred sixty-eight and two hundred ninety-five.”

  “So the last twenty-eight years are missing,” muttered Arvid and looked in fascination at the dots, which were arranged on the map like a wooden grain. “Look at that, Thoke. The transitions don’t occur completely randomly. There seems to be a pattern.”

  “It looks like waves. But they are not always the same…”

  Pensively Arvid let her eyes wander over the paper. “I wonder if the big dots were bigger transitions, or if it doesn’t matter. In the north, the dots are much larger, you see? And here’s an especially big one.” She pointed to a mark in the northern mountains, which was right next to a town called Erendal.

  “It’s not explained here,” Thoke said. “But… if you have the opportunity to do so, you could ask Loke. He drew the map.”

  Arvid looke
d at him in surprise. “Are you sure?”

  “Yes, it’s down here.” He tapped on a text in one corner of the map. “This is one of three copies. All were made by Loke, twenty-nine years ago.”

  “Thank you, Thoke,” Arvid said. “Your help really means a lot to me.”

  “I just want you to be happy again,” he said. It sounded like he meant it, and Arvid forced a wan smile. She knew that it probably looked put on and artificial, but Thoke smiled back warmly. “Even the darkest times pass,” he said. “If Loke can help you to find a way back, then… try it. Maybe it will go wrong, but… I now see that you can’t find peace otherwise.”

  The Month of Fiery Rebirth

  It was a stormy night about four weeks after the Light Turning Festival, when Arvid sat in her room after school. She was about to start a report on a short text in Old Jördisch when someone knocked on her door.

  As Arvid opened it, there was a young woman in front of the door. She resembled Aleri so much that Arvid thought it was her for a moment. However, she didn’t say a word, but only looked at her insistently. As Arvid looked into her eyes, she realized it was Nod.

  “Come in,” she said, surprised at Nod’s extraordinary appearance. When she closed the door again, he had already settled on her bed and began to unwrap a large bag.

  “You have to flee,” he said. “Tonight.”

  “What, why?” she asked in disbelief. “Has anything happened?”

  “Yes,” replied Nod and threw a bundle of clothes next to the bed. “A messenger from Asgard has arrived. It was pure luck that I was in the City Guard’s quarters at the time and could volunteer.”

  “But for what?” said Arvid.

  Nod paused and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, I’m a little nervous. Do you mind this look? I can…”

  “No, no,” Arvid fended off impatiently. “Just tell me what happened!”

  “A group from Asgard is on its way here. They want to take you with them,” he said. “I don’t know exactly where and what they are up to, but since I’d like to keep my head, I’d rather not risk anything.”

  Arvid drew in a sharp breath. “Are you sure?”

  “Absolutely. The Town Guard’s mission is to watch the building overnight, in case you should get suspicious.”

  Arvid looked at Nod in horror. “My god, what shall I do now?”

  “As I said, you have to flee,” he said urgently, “but it’s still too early, too many would see you. I have seen the new notices the messenger was carrying. You are now officially linked to the prophecy. The City Guard was explicitly granted permission to use force if necessary. The woman the oracle described is said to possess great and very destructive power.”

  Arvid laughed, but even in her ears it sounded almost hysterical. Her heart was pounding, and she felt a nagging fear. “This is absolutely ridiculous!” she blurted out. “Any fool who knows me a little knows that there’s no way I am this woman. I have no great power—I can hardly light a candle!”

  Nod put a hand on her shoulder and smiled at her reassuringly, but Arvid could feel that he was trembling ever so slightly. “Don’t worry. I’ll get you out of here safely.”

  Then he explained his plan.

  The first thing Arvid felt when she woke from fitful sleep was fear. Someone shook vigorously on her shoulder and she immediately knew what this meant. She opened her eyes and looked into the face of an unknown pale, dark-haired man.

  “Ready?” whispered Nod.

  Arvid nodded. Although she had just woken up, her heart was racing. Nod handed her a bag—with warm clothing and food, he said—and waited patiently until she had peeled herself out of bed.

  It was a strange feeling not to simply slip into a school uniform. The pants from the bag were warm and the heavy woolen overdress scratchy, so Arvid was happy to wear a soft cloth shirt underneath. She slipped into the black leather jerkin and tied it carefully, while she wondered if it wasn’t a bit exaggerated. The leather had a considerable weight and would possibly hinder, but Nod decisively shook his head as she raised her concerns in a whisper. Arvid put on gloves and boots, threw on her cloak and was ready.

  “Allom keeps watch on this floor,” Nod explained quietly. “He’s lazy and sits in front of the stairs, which makes it easier. But we have to pass relatively close. We must therefore make no sound.”

  “All right,” Arvid whispered back.

  Nod peered out cautiously, then he waved at her. Arvid made sure the door was closed again, and crept behind him down the dark, silent corridor.

  Before they turned the corner in front of the top of the stairs they stopped. They had discussed the plan several times, so that no explanations were needed, but Arvid was so excited that she found it hard to concentrate. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and imagined the wall by the stairs. When she clearly saw the exact picture in her head again, she gave Nod a sign.

  Now came the part, which Arvid could only hope would go well. Her heart was pounding so hard it seemed to her as if it could be heard in the entire corridor, but there was no turning back.

  She left the normal flow of time and stepped around the corner, where Allom sat in a chair and read. Arvid knew she only had seconds before Allom would discover her, in spite of the time bending. She quickly raised her hands to find the right shape and size for her illusion. She corrected a bit, then she created an accurate reflection of the wall opposite of Allom, several meters in length. With horror Arvid felt herself getting pulled back into the normal flow of time. It was almost impossible to concentrate on both things at once. At the last moment she managed to extend the illusion so that it also hid herself.

  From the corner of her eye she saw Nod pushing around the corner and sneaking along the wall toward the stairs. Everything seemed to go according to plan: The illusion offered him safe cover, but Arvid tried not to look. The illusion mustn’t flicker under any circumstances, otherwise Allom might discover it, whether he was reading or not.

  As Nod was at the height of Allom’s chair, the guard suddenly raised his head. Nod froze. Arvid’s heart leapt in horror. For endless seconds she thought Allom would get up any moment and suspiciously approach the wall. But he only looked briefly to the left and to the right, then he turned the page of his book and continued reading. Arvid sighed with relief. Nod relaxed, too. He stood there for a moment, then he cautiously started moving again, until he eventually disappeared down the stairs.

  Arvid waited a moment, then moved cautiously a few steps along the wall. She felt exhausted in a strange way; it was a feeling that she couldn’t quite place. Desperately she tried to focus on the exact alignment of the illusion, but it was much more difficult than she had anticipated. The more she tried to maintain her concentration, the more the feeling of fatigue increased. She felt herself slowly losing control of the magic, and a sense of panic came over her.

  I have to give up the illusion, the thought flashed through her head. She had to get out of Allom’s sight as quickly as possible; otherwise she would soon face him completely unprotected.

  While her mirage dissolved, Arvid gathered her last strength to exit the flow of time again. As fast as she was able to in her battered state, she scurried over to the stairs and down the steps. She overtook Nod and stumbled around the next corner, where she finally stopped and was snapped back to normal the normal flow of time.

  Not far from her Arvid heard Nod make a soft, surprised sound, but she couldn’t look out for him. An overwhelming weakness suddenly spread in her body. Her knees gave way. Powerless, she fell back against the wall behind her, and for a moment everything went black. When her vision cleared at last, she saw Nod in front of her.

  “What’s wrong?” he whispered anxiously. “We have to continue immediately.”

  Arvid nodded and pushed herself up along the wall. Nod grabbed h
er hand and simply pulled her with him. For a while Arvid followed him without properly perceiving their environment. She had to use all her remaining concentration and strength to put one foot before the other, without stumbling or falling. Everything around her was a diffuse mass of dark schemes and dancing lights. They went down some stairs, crossed a corridor, and again down endless steps.

  When Arvid slowly started recovering, she realized that they had stopped beside the door to the gallery above the entrance hall. Nod let go of her hand and gave her a worried look.

  “Are you feeling better?” he asked softly.

  Arvid took a deep breath. “Yes. I have… somehow overexerted myself, I think.”

  “I’m not surprised. I don’t know what you did there, but… it was scary.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You were suddenly in front of me. I didn’t see you, and yet… somehow I did.” He shrugged helplessly.

  Arvid sighed softly. “I can’t explain right now.”

  Nod looked at Arvid searchingly. “Are you ready?” he asked then. “To be honest… I’m a bit worried about you.”

  Arvid did not even take offense after her fainting spell. If she was honest, she felt anything but ready. A strange weariness numbed her senses, and her body felt heavy and weak. Still, she nodded. They only had this one chance.

  “I’ll just make it,” she said. “But I have to change the plan. I can’t maintain an illusion while moving. Up there… it went wrong.”

  “I see,” said Nod. “I’ll try to go a bit to the side; perhaps they will follow me. You’re not really invisible when you… do this… whatever it is.”

  “Good luck,” muttered Arvid and hugged him. Her heart still pounded wildly, and her fear was almost unbearable. At the same time, the thought of having to leave a familiar place once again hurt. She would probably never return to Vero-Maghen. Perhaps this was also the final farewell to Nod. Although she had not been allowed to build a friendship with him, she felt deeply grateful toward him.