by Janice Lynn
“At six.” She watched Leslie tape the balloon to Will’s special table. “I’ll have him here by six-thirty.”
“The guests are arriving at six?”
“Yes.” Chelsea smiled at her friend. “I really appreciate you playing hostess until I get back with my brother.”
“My pleasure.” Leslie’s cheeks brightened. “Will’s a wonderful man, and I’m sure he’ll appreciate all the hard work you’ve put into this for him.”
“Hey, you’ve worked just as hard,” Chelsea reminded her, giving credit where credit was due.
“It wasn’t any trouble.” Leslie’s gaze traveled around the room with pride. “Everything looks great, doesn’t it?”
“I couldn’t have done this without you.”
“My pleasure. I’d have gone crazy if I’d had to sit at home doing nothing a moment longer. Will won’t let me lift a finger. I’m pregnant, not an invalid.” She didn’t meet Chelsea’s eyes and her voice held an odd, dissatisfied note.
Were things not going well between her brother and Leslie? They loved each other. She knew they did. But, then, she was convinced she and Jared cared for each other, too, and just look at how far apart they were. Still, things would work out for her friend and her brother. They were expecting a baby and would find a way through whatever differences they were having.
A baby. Chelsea’s hand went to her abdomen. What would it be like to have Jared’s baby growing inside her? For his lovemaking to have given her a child?
It was possible. Although she wasn’t certain, she didn’t recall him having put on a condom. Yet surely he wouldn’t have risked making her pregnant when he so obviously didn’t want to have anything to do with her.
“You’d better go home and get dressed,” Leslie said, not commenting on where Chelsea’s palm rested or the faraway look she knew had settled into her eyes.
“All I need to do is slip on my dress. No big deal.”
“Yeah right.” Leslie smiled knowingly. “There’s going to be a certain doctor here tonight I know you want to impress.”
“There’s nothing between Jared and I. We went to lunch a few times and tried being friends,” Chelsea admitted, hoping her cheeks didn’t reveal what else they’d done. “But he reconsidered even that, and I’m tired of waiting. I’m through with him,” she murmured bravely, hoping that to verbalize the words could convince her heart.
“Oh, Chelsea, I’m sorry,” Leslie sympathized. “I’d hoped things would work out with you and Jared. He’s a fool if he can’t see what a wonderful woman you are.”
“I’m OK.” And she would be. With or without Jared, she’d manage just fine. Somehow.
Jared finger-combed his still damp hair. He’d grabbed a quick shower and change of clothes after leaving the hospital.
Lacey had looked good. For the first time in weeks he’d heard her laugh. She’d had reason to. Caden had spoken his first word today. “Mommy.”
The entire hospital had cheered at his major step in overcoming his injuries.
In many ways, Jared felt as if he, too, had won a victory in the boy’s remarkable recovery. In his mind he’d tangled up Lacey and Caden with Laura and their baby. Silly, as Laura had only been five months pregnant at the time of the car crash. But in his mind Lacey and Caden had been his second chance. His opportunity to make right what wrongs he could.
Caden had a long way to go, and he might never run any marathons, but with each day he regained more and more use of his body. With therapy, the boy would walk again.
Lacey wouldn’t have to live with the guilt that Jared did day in and day out.
He sighed, his gaze landing on Will’s special place of honor. His pal would get a kick out of his sister’s efforts. She’d decorated the ballroom with gusto, seeing to every last detail.
Chelsea put her whole heart into everything she did.
And she’d said she’d given her heart to him. That she loved him.
Perhaps she believed she did.
But he wasn’t the right man for her. Just look at what a mess he’d made with Laura.
When he’d held Chelsea, felt her uncertainty, her doubts in herself, he’d known he had to put distance between them. He’d understood why Will protected her, wanted to spoil her, wanted him to stay far away. Chelsea deserved a wonderful life, a wonderful everything, because she was wonderful.
She deserved to be loved and cherished. Things he’d lost the ability to do a long time ago. How could he love and cherish another when doing so would be like slapping Laura’s memory in the face?
“Jared? Good to see you.” Tom Meeks, one of his and Will’s colleagues from medical school, slapped him on the back, startling Jared from his thoughts.
Not once had he considered that friends from medical school would be at the party. Leave it to Chelsea to go above and beyond the call of duty for her brother’s party and invite friends from her brother’s university days.
“Tom.”
They chatted, making small talk about their practices, the pitfalls of HMOs, and carefully avoided any mention of Laura. Jared glanced around the room, spotted several more of his and Laura’s friends, and felt his muscles clamp inside.
There would be no escaping the past tonight.
“Why do we need to stop by a hotel?” Will asked, his face split in a grin because he knew exactly where she was taking him and why.
“Have you ever eaten at Dailey’s?” She pulled the car up in front of the hotel so the valet could park it in the garage. There was a freebie lot to the side, but she didn’t want to risk Will recognizing any of the vehicles. Or seeing the North Carolina number plates from the friends who’d driven down. “I hear the food is fabulous, and they have karaoke on Thursday nights.”
“Too bad it’s Friday and we missed karaoke, huh?” Dimples dug into his cheeks. Neither of them could carry a tune if their lives depended on it.
She handed the keys to the valet, walked round the car, and linked her elbow with her brother’s. “I thought we’d check out the food and scope the place, see if we’d have any competition if we came back on Thursday.”
Will laughed, escorting her into the lobby. “Scoping out the competition, huh?”
A pretty girl working behind the reception desk winked conspiratorially, letting Chelsea know she’d buzzed Leslie the moment they’d pulled into the hotel drive.
So far, so good.
When Will went to turn toward Dailey’s, Chelsea paused. “Let’s go this way. I need to take a toilet break first.”
“There’s a bathroom in Dailey’s.”
“Yeah, but there’s probably a line.”
Will gave her a doubtful look.
“You have no idea how women’s restrooms can be. Please.” She squirmed appropriately to show her urgency.
His eyes twinkled, saying he knew what she was up to. “OK, go ahead. I’ll wait here.”
He really was a fink. “Go with me.”
“To the ladies’ room?”
Chelsea rolled her eyes. “A woman shouldn’t run around alone in a hotel on a Friday night. It’s just not safe.”
He shook his head, fully aware of what she was doing, but he followed her obediently.
Of course, she never made it as far as where the signs indicated the restrooms. She grinned at him and pushed open the door to a large conference room.
“Surprise!” she said, just as chaos broke out in the room, with confetti, ribbons, and lots of cheers.
“You didn’t have to fake the…” He paused, seeing how packed the room was with people. “Wow. What bank did you rob to get all these people here?”
“No bank. No paying off the guests. Just a few phone calls.”
“Surprise!”
“Happy Birthday!”
“Woohoo, Will!”
Shouts went up all around them.
Will grinned, clearly pleased with the turnout of his friends. Just wait until he saw everyone she’d invited.
“Is that La
rry Bowles?”
He’d seen. She smiled. He’d be ecstatic at seeing his old university buddies. But when his gaze met hers, he didn’t look pleased.
He looked worried, perhaps a bit panicked, and Will never panicked. Never. Except during Leslie’s appendectomy.
Unease fluttered in Chelsea’s stomach.
“Is that a bad thing?” She’d been sure Will would be excited she’d brought the gang together. Will, Jared, Larry, and Tom. They’d been so close during their university days. The summer she’d met them she’d been envious of their friendship. At that time she’d just begun coming out of her isolation and had literally had no one other than Will.
So why did Will look upset about seeing his friend?
Well-wishers surrounded her brother, and he didn’t get the opportunity to answer.
Chelsea stepped back, wondering why he’d looked concerned. Surely she’d been mistaken at his odd reaction.
Chelsea’s laughter haunted Jared no matter where he stood, no matter how many people stood between them.
In a room full of guests that included several he should be quite aware of, how could he be so in tune with Chelsea’s exact location, with everything about her? He’d swear he could even smell her perfume from time to time. That fresh-baked cookie scent that troubled him day and night, just as memories of making love to her haunted him.
He sniffed the air, then shook his head in self-disgust.
Insane.
He’d had enough and just wanted to get out of this room full of raw nerves.
The room was like a pit of vipers in his emotional state.
Jared headed toward the door. So what if it was barely after eight? This was one party he wasn’t staying for. He’d wish Will a happy birthday, then he’d go home.
He hadn’t been in the mood to party for weeks. Months.
From the moment he’d discovered Chelsea was joining Madison Medical Center.
He wanted her.
Deep down he admitted he’d only wanted her from the moment she’d stepped back into his life. Maybe he’d fallen for her long before that, while listening to Will.
The reality was, Chelsea deserved better. She deserved a man who could give her his whole heart and cherish her every day for the rest of their lives. He wasn’t that man. His heart had been defective since Laura and it wasn’t fit to give to any woman.
His gaze shifted to where Chelsea was talking with a group of nurses from the hospital.
God, he’d missed her this week. Had fought the urge to pull her into his arms a hundred times at the office, had wanted to ask her if he’d dreamed how magical their lovemaking had been. He couldn’t even be around her without wanting to touch her. Which was why he’d done his best to stay away. Far away.
He couldn’t touch. Couldn’t want. Couldn’t lead Chelsea on when he wasn’t willing to give her what she wanted.
She tossed her head back and laughed at something said to her.
Jealousy shot through him with lightning force.
Despite her words of love, she wasn’t his and never would be.
Her eyes lifted, met Jared’s.
She held his gaze for seconds that beat between them like a living pulse.
Was she purposely goading him?
No, Chelsea didn’t play games. Her look said that if he wanted her, he must come and get her and not care that all their friends and colleagues were present. She wanted him to acknowledge her. To acknowledge that he wanted her.
He wanted.
Desperately.
Knowing he needed to retreat, Jared headed toward the exit.
“You’re not leaving so soon, are you?” Leslie came up, halted his escape, and gave him a quick hug.
He just wanted to wish Will well and leave.
He wasn’t enjoying this party and felt more like he was the piñata everyone poked at than a guest.
“It’s been a long day.” He paused, thinking Leslie looked tired herself. “How are you doing? Everything OK with the baby?”
“My obstetrician says everything is perfect.” Leslie placed her hand over her flat lower abdomen. “My surgery didn’t affect this little guy at all.”
Leslie chatted on about what the obstetrician had told her and about her first ultrasound other than the one Jared had done. He tried to pay attention to their conversation, but his gaze wandered back to where Chelsea’s arm was linked with that of a respiratory therapist known for being a player.
The local band Chelsea had hired played a slow number and they headed to the dance floor.
“Excuse me.” Without waiting for Leslie to respond, Jared cut in on the couple’s dance. Chelsea’s eyes widened. The therapist looked ready to say something, met Jared’s glare, then bowed out without a word.
“We need to talk.”
Chelsea sent the man an apologetic glance. “You’ll understand that whatever you want will have to wait as I was dancing with someone.”
“Chelsea,” he ground out, wondering what the hell he was doing, wondering why he couldn’t stand the sight of her in another man’s arms.
“Unless it’s an emergency, that is,” she added, her eyes daring him to take up her challenge.
“It’s an emergency.” Without consciously considering what he was doing, he placed his hand on her lower back and pulled her to him. “Why are you dancing with him?” he growled near her ear.
Chelsea’s arms slid around his neck and she leaned close. “Give me a reason why I shouldn’t.”
He groaned, breathing in her fragrance, feeling the heady impact of holding her all the way down to his toes.
“I can’t,” he ground out, determined to keep his head.
Her cheek brushed lightly against his jaw.
What could he say? And, Lord have mercy, the light feel of her cheek brushing against him was doing funny things to his insides.
He knew he needed to say something, but he couldn’t think.
He blamed his inability to focus on the feel of her body. Not in his wildest dreams had he imagined he’d actually ever hold Chelsea again, breathe in her warm scent from so close, experience again how her body felt, pressed against his. No wonder he couldn’t think.
They bumped into another couple and Jared started to apologize then saw who the couple was, and nodded instead.
Chelsea watched him, her honey-brown eyes thoughtful.
“Will seemed upset that Larry was here. You don’t look overjoyed. You were so close that spring break.” Chelsea pulled back, stared up at him. “Is there something I should’ve known that I didn’t?”
What could he say?
“Larry was in love with the girl I was dating when you and I met. He blamed me for her death.” The admission slipped from his mouth. Somehow he’d thought that saying the words out loud would sting, would bring back old memories. He felt nothing. Nothing but sadness for a life that had been lost too young, sadness that Laura had died upset, that their baby had died, because he would have been a good and faithful husband and a good father.
But caring for him had ultimately destroyed Laura.
If he really cared about Chelsea, he’d stay away from her.
Chelsea stiffened, her smile fading. “You were engaged when she died. I remember Will telling me when you got engaged. My heart nearly broke, but when she died I mourned for your loss, Jared.”
“A part of me died when she did,” he admitted.
Why had he said anything? He’d totally ruined the moment, and he’d probably never hold Chelsea again. Way too risky. So why had he spoiled the magic of just having her heart next to his? Was he trying to hang on to his guilt over Laura’s death? Over the death of their baby?
Chelsea bit into her lower lip, regarding him. “You loved her that much?”
“I loved Laura from the day she moved into the house next door to mine. We were in the first grade.” True, but that love had been more about deep friendship toward the end. Which was why he’d felt so guilty over the way he’d reac
ted to seventeen-year-old Chelsea. In many ways he’d betrayed Laura—unintentionally, but a betrayal all the same.
Color heightening her cheeks, Chelsea shook her head. “Why didn’t you tell me? When we met, you never acted like you were taken. I was young and naïve and totally out of my league where you were concerned. But if you’d hinted that you were in love with someone else, I never would have made such a fool of myself. Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I should have mentioned Laura, but the truth is I’m a guy. Right or wrong, I liked your attention.”
“You let me fall in love with you, broke my heart.” Her gaze lowered and long, soot-colored lashes shielded her eyes.
“I was a jerk. Still am.”
“I was a joke to you, wasn’t I? My affections a way to amuse yourself?” Disenchantment and hurt shone in her eyes.
“Never,” he told her, lifting her chin so she had to look at him. “You were a beautiful young woman. You still are. I was flattered by your attention.”
Her eyes searched his and he could see her remorse even before she whispered, “I’m sorry, Jared. Sorry you lost Laura. Sorry I put you in an awkward position all those years ago. Sorry I’ve made things awkward for you now by inviting Larry.”
“Don’t be sorry.” He stroked his thumb over her chin. “I’m the one who’s sorry. I shouldn’t have flirted with you.”
He had flirted with her, but he hadn’t been able to stay away. He’d sought her out, wanting to hear her laughter, see her smile, feel the way his heart raced when she was near. All things he’d had no right to feel when he had been in a relationship with Laura. Laura. His eyes closed as he recalled the lovely girl he’d first given his heart to. She’d been his friend, his lover. Until he’d met Chelsea he’d never questioned spending his whole life with Laura, had never imagined there could be more than what he and Laura had shared.
Chelsea had shattered that illusion and no matter how hard he’d tried to make things right between him and Laura, he hadn’t been able to. The truth was that if Laura hadn’t beaten him to the punch, told him she was pregnant, he’d have told her how he felt, that he wanted to see other people. For ten years he’d carried that burden in his heart, keeping all other emotions locked out.