I pinched myself – I could still feel self-inflicted pain, after all. It was now twice as hard to stay awake.
In the middle of this room were two large canopy beds. Curious, I staggered over to them and drew back the curtains. In one bed slept a girl about my age. She had red curls and even more freckles than I do. In the other bed slept a guy who looked a little older, with dark hair and a dusky complexion.
I frowned. They had color. The air around them felt different, almost agitated despite the calming effects of the room.
One thing I realized for certain: they were not part of my imagination and did not belong here.
Chapter 12
In Which I Discover Disturbing Things About Chris and Tisha
AFTER giving my arm another pinch, I shook first the girl and then the guy, but to no avail. “Wake up!” I whispered, finding it impossible to speak with anything louder.
I shook them again and whispered “Wake up!” as loud as I could. The girl stirred slightly, but they stayed as soundly asleep as ever.
I gave my arm another pinch, trying to keep myself from panicking. All I knew was that they were asleep and I didn't want to join them.
Who they were and what they were doing here? They were unable to sate my desire for answers. They were asleep.
In desperation, I tapped the Ankulen. “Wake them up. Please?”
At first, nothing seemed to happen, not even a flash of light to let me know that the Ankulen had heard my request. Slowly, however, I became aware of an annoying high-pitched whine that made it a lot easier for me to stay awake.
The whine became louder and louder, effectively overpowering the music and lavender. The guy's brown eyes were the first to open, followed shortly by the girl's blue-green. They sat up and stared at me.
“Uh, hello,” I said, awkwardly, remembering the fact that real people made me shy.
The guy was the one to reply. “Your bracelet is whining.”
I blinked and looked down self-consciously at the Ankulen. “Yes it is.” I bit my lip. “It's a very unusual bracelet, trust me.”
He snorted and rolled his eyes, which only made me feel more self-conscious.
“Are you going to be a scary dream or a nice one?” the girl asked, timidly, her eyes flicking between the guy and me.
I blinked. “Frankly, I've been trying to figure that out myself.”
“Oh … so you've been here a while?” the guy questioned.
“More or less.” I bit my lip as I ran my fingers over the Ankulen's band. “It feels as though I've been here weeks and weeks, but whenever I step back into the real world, it's still June 22nd, according to my watch.”
They gave me puzzled looks that only confused me further. Subconsciously, I began backing up to the wall.
“So where am I this time?” the guy asked, in a bored voice. “What sort of monster will I have to fight?”
I realized that I was retreating, so I forced myself to stand still. “Uh, we're in a castle that's suspended by chains in the middle of a gray forest.”
“Why aren't I surprised? So, where's the monster?”
I clasped my hands tightly behind my back. “The only real monster I know about at the moment is the Polystoikhedron, and hopefully that horrid beast is far away from here at the moment.” As I met his skeptical gaze, my confusion suddenly welled up in the form of boldness. Taking a few confident strides forward, I blurted, “What are you two doing here? You don't belong here – you have color. You don't feel like any of my imaginary friends.”
“I was wondering why you were gray,” said the guy, unimpressed by my outburst. A glance in the girl's direction showed that she was regarding me and the guy fearfully.
My gaze fell to my colorless arm and a disgusted look instinctively curled across my face. “I don't know why I'm gray. Honestly, I have color … just not here.” Balling my hands into fists, I looked up. “So who are the two of you? You're not part of my imagination. You feel different. You feel … you feel real.” I frowned at my words, not quite sure what I meant.
“Sure, we're real,” said the guy, then glanced over at the girl. “Or at least I am. I can't vouch for her.”
“I'm real,” the girl said in a whisper.
I pressed my fingers to my forehead. “Then what are you doing here? In my imagination?”
“Your imagination?” questioned the guy.
I nodded. “I've been told that is what this place is.”
“Are you sure that this isn't just another dream?” he asked.
“There have been times when I've wished it were,” I muttered.
“Are you sure you're sane?” His expression was deadpan.
I shrugged. “Not anymore. I've been looking for my memories, though. Have either of you seen them?”
“No, I haven't.” His deadpan face continued.
I sighed. “Well … the Ankulen indicated that they would be here.”
“The Ankulen?” There was a slight lift to his eyebrow, but other than that, no change to his expression.
“My … whining bracelet.” I raised my wrist and glanced awkwardly at the Ankulen.
He snorted. “Well, I haven't seen your memories. I only just got here.”
“You were here, sleeping, when I got here,” I said, slowly. “I woke you up – err, well, the Ankulen did, actually. When I asked it to.”
“So … we're awake?” the girl slowly asked.
“You're in my imagination,” I said with a shrug. “I'm not sure whether or not that counts as awake.”
“How did we get here?” the guy asked.
“I don't know. All I know is that you're here, but you don't belong. I don't even know who you are.”
“We don't belong here?” he repeated.
“No,” I said, frowning. “You're real. This place is imaginary.”
“Are you real?” the girl asked.
“Yes, but this is my imagination. I belong here. You're … you two are strangers,” I frowned as I realized that, not only did I still not know who they were, they had no idea who I was.
So I pasted my best friendly smile onto my face and held out my hand in a friendly manner. “My name's Jen, by the way. Short for Jenifer.”
“I'm Megan,” said the girl, her face brightening. She threw the blankets off of her, ran over to me, and took my hand. She was shorter than I, but only by an inch or so.
“Hello Megan,” I said, my smile becoming genuine in the light of her eagerness. I glanced over to the guy, raising my eyebrows questioningly.
“Derek.” The answer came out more as a grunt, and he was practically glaring at the blankets.
“Hello, Derek. So … um, either of you have any idea how two of you come to be sleeping in this castle?”
Megan frowned. “You mean … like before I started dreaming?”
“Do you remember?” I asked, smiling encouragingly.
“Well …” A thoughtful line appeared between her eyes. “I went to bed, and I was really excited, since my caseworker had informed me that I had been adopted, and it was only a few weeks until I would meet my new family. I tossed and turned, trying to imagine what my new parents would be like, and I was sure that I wasn't going to be able to sleep. And then …” she closed her eyes, “then I felt someone tap me on the shoulder and I opened my eyes, and there she stood.”
“She?” I repeated.
Megan opened her eyes and nodded. “I think she was an angel or fairy – except she didn't have any wings. She was very pretty, especially her hair. It was so long it reached the ground, and it was such a pretty golden color. She didn't tell me her name, but she did offer to take me to a castle. So I told her I would like that and she took my hands, and next thing I knew, I was here and then the dreams came.”
I frowned. Long, golden hair … Tisha?
“It was a boy for me,” said Derek, snapping my attention to him. “But other than that, it was pretty much the same.”
My frown deepened. “What sort o
f boy?”
Derek shrugged. “I thought he was Peter Pan, and that he was going to take me to Neverland … but then I was here … and then the dreams …”
“Peter Pan …” I repeated. “A girl with long golden hair …” I turned back to Megan. “You were about to be adopted?”
She nodded. “But it was so long ago …”
“I was going to meet the people who had adopted me in the morning,” Derek provided.
I bit my lip. “I … think I know who the girl and boy were … but I … I don't know how they brought you here, or why.”
“Oh, you do?” Derek's tone was skeptical again.
I closed my eyes and nodded. “I think I know, but I'm not sure.”
“So, who were they?”
I scowled. “Two of my imaginary friends. My favorites, or so I'm told. The boy was Sir Christofer, and the girl was Fair Maiden Letitia.”
“So, did you send them to kidnap us?”
Opening my eyes, I saw that Derek wore a scowl that matched mine.
“No, I didn't,” I said, balling my hands into fists again. “Or, at least, I don't think I did. I don't remember.”
“Did you or did you not?” Derek exclaimed, springing from the bed and taking a few stride in my direction, a fierce expression on his face.
I took a fearful step backwards. “I don't remember. I don't remember anything about my imagination. Those are the memories I'm looking for.”
“Can you make that thing stop its horrid noise?” Derek jabbed a finger in the direction of the Ankulen.
My hand instinctively flew to cover the Ankulen's gems. “No. I mean, I'm sure I can … but if it stops whining, we'll all fall asleep again – it's what's keeping us awake!”
Derek frowned and folded his arms over his chest, glaring down at me. Suddenly, 5'4” didn't seem so tall after all …
“I don't want to go back to sleep,” Megan's timid voice cut in.
“Not that this place can be called 'awake,'” Derek muttered, turning attention away from me, allowing me to regroup my thoughts. “We're in her imagination. We may as well be asleep.” His voice was edged with bitter sarcasm.
“You can pinch yourself and find out,” I mentioned, giving my own arm a pinch. Yep, I could still inflict pain on myself.
“I have a better idea,” said Derek, whirling back to me. “Why don't you turn that thing off, and we all go back to sleep. Those dreams made more sense than you do, anyways.”
“But … I,” I protested, taking another step backwards.
“I don't want to go back to sleep!” Megan declared. “I like being awake!”
“But I don't!” Derek took another step in my direction, biting each word.
I took another fearful step backwards and tapped the gems. Why not, after all? “Stop whining!”
Instant silence. A moment later, the music resumed and the smell of lavender again became overpowering. “Happy?” I whispered. Without the whine, it was again impossible to speak any louder than that.
Derek didn't answer. He just stalked back over to his bed and laid down. A moment later, he was sound asleep again. Biting my lip to produce some sleep-fighting pain, I turned to Megan, who was shaking her head violently to combat the relaxing effects of the room.
I quickly walked over to the corner she had retreated into during Derek's outburst and put a hand on her arm. “I don't want to sleep either,” I whispered.
“Some of the dreams were so scary,” Megan replied, grabbing my hand and squeezing it tight. “Some were nice … but I never knew …”
I squeezed her hand back. “Not much of my imagination is nice anymore, and I don't remember what they looked like before.”
Megan stared at me for a few seconds, then gave her red curls another shake to keep herself alert. “Why not?” she whispered.
I gave my lip another small bite, then sighed. “Sir Christofer and Fair Maiden Letitia did something I didn't like, so I got mad at them and abandoned this place. I haven't been back in eight years and … well, it's fallen into disrepair. I don't know why I lost my memories, but I did, and I can't remember anything related to my imagination. I can't even control it properly.” I didn't want to scare her with the Polystoikhedron.
Megan squeezed my hand harder and gave her head another shake “Well, this place is pretty enough, even if it is gray. And the beds are very soft, too.”
“It is pretty here,” I agreed. “And there are still a lot of nice places out there, too, and most of the people I've met are nice … but …” I bit my lip. “It's a dying world – and it's my world.”
“But it still must be wonderful to have a world at all,” said Megan. “All I have are dreams.”
“I've been looking for my memories,” I continued, smiling slightly at her words, “and, according to the Ankulen, they're in this castle somewhere.”
“So you'll find them soon?” Excitement danced in her eyes.
“Perhaps.” My mouth formed into a hard line. “But this is a big place. They could be anywhere.” I gave a halfhearted laugh. “And I'm not even sure I'll be able to recognize them if I find them. What do memories look like?”
“I can help you look for them,” Megan offered.
I squeezed her hand. “I'd like that. Talking will help us keep each other awake.” I glanced over at Derek. “And I think I've already searched this room well enough. We don't want to risk waking him back up.”
“I don't want him awake again!” agreed Megan. “I don't think he likes you very much … your name was Jen, wasn't it?”
“Yep, it was Jen. Still is, too.”
Megan giggled as we exited the room.
Through the halls and corridors we wandered, one of us talking at all times, and our eyes peeled for anything that might resemble a memory. I told Megan about all the good parts I had found in my imagination, and about my own family. She was especially fascinated by my family, not having one of her own. She didn't talk as much, but she did tell me about some of her nicer dreams.
Most of her dreams were about potential identities for the people who were going to adopt her. Sometimes they were rich, sometimes they were poor. A few times she had dreamed that they were king and queen of a magical country. Sometimes she had siblings – a hundred of them in one dream – and other times she was an only child.
She didn't say anything about her life before the dreams. I didn't press her. She didn't press me for anything I didn't want to divulge.
Thanks to the swinging of the castle, our progress was slow, but we didn't mind, as it gave us time to regard everything carefully. We'd laugh whenever a sudden movement sent us crashing into a wall together. We'd help each other up whenever we found ourselves on the floor.
“I'm glad your imaginary friend kidnapped me and brought me here,” Megan commented as we picked ourselves up for the eighth time.
“Oh, why?” I stiffened slightly, but Megan apparently didn't notice my flinch.
“Because if she hadn't brought me here, I wouldn't be here to help you look for your memories,” said Megan. “And I like you, Jen. A lot.”
“I like you, too,” I replied. “I wish that it had been you that my parents had adopted, instead of Tisha.”
“Tisha?” questioned Megan.
Oops. I had purposefully avoided mentioning either Chris or Tisha ever being my adopted siblings. Oh, well.
“Letitia,” I explained. “The imaginary friend who brought you here. I don't know how, but she and Chris were somehow adopted by my parents … but I think that was why I got mad at them.”
“Oh.” Megan was silent for a thoughtful moment, then she added, “But wouldn't you like having your own imaginary friends as your brother and sister?”
“I apparently didn't.” I frowned as a sudden thought suddenly occurred to me. “What if … what if they weren't supposed to adopt Tisha and Chris … but you and Derek …”
“What do you mean?”
I balled my fists again as I allowed a wave of
long-subdued anger to wash over me. “Oh, they did! I'm sure of it!”
“They did what?” A hint of panic rose in Megan's voice. “Who did what?”
“Tisha and Chris,” The words came out in what was almost a snarl. “They kidnapped you and Derek because they wanted to take your places. If they had left well and enough alone, you would have been my sister eight years ago.”
“And Derek would have been our brother,” muttered Megan.
“So he would have,” I admitted. “But …” I slammed a fist into the nearest wall. “Tisha and Chris stole your lives. Lives of real people. No wonder I got mad at them – they deserved it!”
“Surely they couldn't help it!” Megan was frightened by my ire, and she frantically tried to subdue it.
“Oh, I'm sure they could help it.” I refused to be calmed. “What they did – what I assume they did – they weren't supposed to do it. And that isn't the sort of rule that someone breaks by 'accident.'”
“But … oh, Jen. Don't get mad at them! That's why your imagination got bad in the first place! I … I don't like the fact that they didn't let your parents adopt me, but … I'll forgive them.”
I turned and gave her a sharp look, causing her to shrink back. We stood staring at each other, nothing said between us. Slowly, her honest expression brought me to my senses.
In my attempt to calm my anger, I drew in a deep breath and closed my eyes.
Chapter 13
In Which I Dream
WHEN I opened my eyes again, I was no longer in a world of gray. Vibrant green grass, dotted with bright flowers of the richest pinks, purples, reds, yellows, and blues stretched out as far as I could see. The bluest sky was spread above me.
Whether the colors were so intense only because I had been so long in a gray world, or if the colors were really that true and bold, I wasn't sure. I held up my arm, and the Ankulen glittered brighter than ever … but my skin was still gray.
I winced and quickly looked away. I was a blight in a world of beauty.
“Where am I?” I muttered. This wasn't the real world, it was too perfect. It wasn't my imagination either, there was too much color. “Am I dreaming?”
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