The Secret Saddle_Anna Troy's Emancipation

by Dani Larsen

  It is so cold on the mountaintop that I am shivering. The rope that is wrapped around my hands is hurting my wrists, and the kerchief in my mouth is so tight that the back of my head and mouth are both hurting. I want to scream to Mama to come and get me, but I can't do anything but gasp. I can hear Mama asking the man for me, I know she can hear me sobbing. Finally, Mac comes and pushes me out through the bushes into the clearing, following behind me.

  The mean man grabs me by the arm and squeezes, and the pain brings more tears to my eyes. Mama is standing by the edge of the cliff with a piece of paper in her hands, and she starts yelling at the man when she sees me.

  "Dear God! Untie her, Bane, if ye want this deed. How could ye do that to a child? Ye are the devil himself!"

  The two men laugh, and the mean one motions for Mac to untie me. As soon as my hands are free, I pull the scarf out of my mouth and run to my mama, sobbing loudly.

  "You, the murdering bitch in the wagon, get down and go stand by Mary!"

  The evil man points his gun as he speaks. I am just clinging to Mama's legs as Auntie Kate gets down from the wagon, holding my whimpering little brother, and comes over to stand by Mama. Gunshots ring out from below the mountain and I scream.

  "Two more 'yellow eyes' bite the dust." He laughs again. I don't know what he is talking about, but I am more scared now than I have been.

  "Give me the deed, Mary."

  "Why, Bane? So you can shoot us all too?" Mama's voice is shaky.

  "Now, Mary, you know I wouldn't really hurt you."

  "Put the gun down, Bane."

  "Don't get excited, Mary. Just give me the deed. If you drop that deed, you will all be dead real soon."

  "Seems to me, we'll be dead anyway."

  "Don't ya trust me, Mary, me girl?"

  "Not for a second."

  Mama pushes me behind her, and Auntie Kate puts Jeremiah down next to me. I put my arms around Jeremiah, and we cling to each other. We are standing very close to the edge of the cliff, and I can see that the man called Bane is moving closer, when suddenly two men jump out of the back of the wagon with big knives in their hands. They look like Mama's friend, Ah Kim. I turn around to see what is happening, and see Da and Uncle Sean come out of the bushes behind the bad men. The two men with knives seem to fly through the air at the bad men, but the bad man shoots his gun four times, and one of the men from the wagon falls, and so does Uncle Sean.

  Anna screamed and sat up in bed, not knowing where she was.

  "Anna, are you all right? Did you have another bad dream?"

  Her heart was beating fast, and she was having trouble breathing. She tried to answer George, but her voice wouldn't work. George went to the kitchen and brought her a glass of water, and then he went over to pick up the screaming baby. She was shaking, but able to sit up on the side of the bed. George changed the baby, and brought him over to her with a concerned look on his face. She was finally able to take the baby, and sat back and started nursing him.

  "I'm okay now, George. It was just another bad dream." Her voice was no louder than a whisper.

  "Anna, what are you dreaming about? Is it the same dream every night? How can I help?"

  "It was so upsetting, George, that I can't talk about it right now. There is nothing you can do. It's about something that happened a long time ago. I'll tell you when I'm able to talk about it, but not now." She still wasn't talking above a whisper. All she could think about was the two men getting shot and all that blood.

  Anna spent the next few days getting their new little cabin all spruced up and decorated the way she wanted it. Even though the cabin was pretty clean when they moved in, she wanted to be sure there were no hidden insects that could bite her little boy. She swept the cabin completely and got out every cobweb from the inside roof of the cabin, and she carefully wiped down the rough walls to make sure nothing had nested in their new home. Mary's colorful doilies were under the two oil lamps Caroline had given her. George made a small table that she put next to the lumpy sofa, where she put one of the lamps, and he made a similar one that she placed near the bed, where she put the other lamp. The third room was where George was working on making new furniture. He was making a large dresser where they could put their clothes and John's diapers and the little clothes Anna was sewing for him. Anna had cut some pictures out of an old Sears Catalog that she pinned on the wall. She put a picture of some fruit above the stove in the kitchen, and two pictures of old paintings went above the sofa in the living room. She dreamed of having a nice home like her parents' ranch home someday.

  Suddenly, her stomach felt queasy, and she opened the door and barely made it outside, before she brought up what she had eaten for breakfast. She felt shaky after that but heard the baby crying and went to retrieve him from his cradle. She sat down in the rocking chair that Caroline had lent them to nurse him. Could I be pregnant? She wondered. Because she was still nursing she didn't think she would get pregnant, as many women had told her that it was harder to conceive at that time. But she knew it was possible, and she was late with her monthly.

  Well if I am, then God must want us to have another baby. But John is only ten months old, which means they will only be eighteen months apart.

  Her stomach started rolling again, and by the time she was done nursing, she had to put him down and rush outside again. She wondered if it was something she ate. She hoped so. Three days later when she had been feeling queasy every day, and she hadn't started her monthly, Anna knew it must be true.

  When George came home from his parents' ranch that night, she knew she had to tell him.

  "George, I have some news." Anna was putting dinner on the table while she spoke.

  "Oh, what's that Anna? Did little John start walking yet?"

  "He is beginning to get around. He'll probably be walking sooner than we want him to, but that is not what I wanted to tell you."

  "Okay. What happened, Anna?"

  "What happened is that I've been feeling poorly for the last few days, George, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to have another baby."

  George just sat there for a minute, obviously surprised. After a minute he smiled at his lovely wife before speaking.

  "That is wonderful news, Anna. Little John needs a brother or sister to play with." He took her hand and kissed it. "Are you not happy about that, Anna?"

  "I'm not sure how I feel about it, George. Being a mother is overwhelming, and I'm not enjoying being sick every day. We have to deal with whatever the good Lord decides. I'm sure I'll be fine once I hold the little one in my arms."

  "It will be a little crowded here once two little ones are up and around. I will be trying to save out more than I have been so we can get a bigger place soon, Anna. I guess I will be making another cradle, or a bed for John once the new one arrives, and I'll be making a bigger table, as this little one will not do for four of us."

  "Yes, and I will be sewing lots more clothes. How did it go at the ranch today, George?"

  "It was a pretty good day, I guess, except for Pa yelling at me about something I didn't do, but for some reason he thinks I did. That old sow got out of the sty today and she is a mean one. I was over by the pen just before she got out, but I never went near the gate. I don't know how she was able to get out, but Pa blamed me. She headed out to the pasture and chased the cows, and they started running everywhere to get away from her. It took four of us to get her with ropes and get her back in the pen. I was lucky she didn't get me. I swear she would eat anyone who got near her. Sometimes I wonder why Pa keeps her. I know her having those piglets as often as she does keeps us in bacon, but I've seen her eat the piglets too. Pa must think she is part of the family, but if it were my sow she would be on the dinner table at Easter time."

  "I'm glad you are okay, George. Was Jude near the sty before you were?"

  "I don't think so, Anna, he was in the barn fixing a broken harness far as I know. You always want to blame the poor guy and I've never seen him do anything wrong
. Why don't you like him, Anna? He always says nice things about you and asks about you and little John."

  "I don't know, George, I just don't like him. I am not comfortable when he is around."

  "Don't worry, sweetheart. I wouldn't let anybody harm my little family. This stew looks mighty good, Anna. Will you pass me one of those biscuits?"

  Anna passed the biscuits, but didn't say any more about Jude.

  When Anna slept lightly the nightmares didn't come. It was always toward morning that they visited her. By then, she was so exhausted from trying not to sleep too soundly that she couldn't help but fall into a deep slumber, and the nightmare returned.

  Uncle Sean jumps in front of Mama and Auntie Kate, when the man shoots, and he is now on the ground, bleeding. Mac is on the ground too, and he doesn't look too good. Da jumps on the bad man, and he hits Da with his gun. I see Da fall to the ground as the man aims his pistol at him, and I scream as loud as I can. Then Mama yells too.

  "Here goes yer deed, Bane."

  Mama rips the paper in two pieces, and holds it over the cliff. Da grabs the man's legs and gets him on the ground and starts beating him with his fists. Da is trying to get the gun out of his hand, and it falls to the ground. Mama scrambles over on her knees and picks up the gun, while Da and the evil man continue to fight. The man rolls away from Da and pulls out a knife. He is going to kill my da with it, and I scream again, just as Mama fires the gun making the bad man fall backward over the cliff. I can hear him screaming all the way to the bottom.

  Mama picks me up and runs to Da's side. The three of us sit on the ground hugging each other and crying. Then we turned around and see Kate sitting on the ground, with Jeremiah by her side, and she is ripping her petticoat into long strips, holding them on Uncle Sean. There is a lot of blood around him and on his stomach.

  Two more men who look like Ah Kim come up the road, with two more men tied up and bent over their saddles. They go to the side of their fallen friend who isn't moving. Da is beat up but says he is okay. He takes me from Mama's arms and tells me, "Everything is going to be okay now."

  "Did they hurt you, Anna?" Da asks.

  "No, Da, I don't think they hurt me. I was just so scared!" I put my head on his shoulder and whimper a little bit.

  "John, I just killed a man!" Mama is crying too.

  "Ye saved all of our lives, Mary. Don't ye dare be feeling bad about ridding the world of that bastard!" I have never heard Da use that word before. "God be praised for yer quick wits. He was going to kill us all, me girl."

  Then we all go over to see if Uncle Sean is okay.

  He is just lying there with blood everywhere. Auntie Kate is still tearing her petticoat into strips and holding it where the blood is coming out. Jeremiah is sitting by her sucking his thumb, and I can see tears in his eyes.

  I love Uncle Sean, so I start crying too. Da puts his hand behind my head and puts it back on his shoulder, and then he pats my back.

  "It's going to be okay now, Anna, those bad men can't hurt you anymore."

  Anna heard whimpering as she woke up and realized she was the one whimpering. Uncle Sean laying there bleeding was all she could think of. That memory had not come back to her since she was a little girl. She felt that same fear that she had felt then and suddenly found it difficult to breathe. She turned over and realized George was already up. John was sitting up in his cradle looking at her. How could I have slept without hearing him?

  Anna got up and picked him up. He was dry, so she realized George had already changed his diaper. He must have put him back to sleep. What if he would have gotten out of the cradle and I didn't hear him? George came in from the other room.

  "Good morning, Anna. I already changed John and he wasn't crying so I laid him back down. I guess he wasn't that hungry. You were sleeping so soundly I didn't want to wake you. I know you haven't been sleeping that well lately, so thought you could use a few more minutes in bed."

  "Thank you, George. That was very thoughtful of you. I was afraid John might have gotten up and climbed out of the cradle."

  "You didn't sleep that long. I just started the fire in the stove and got it going. I wanted to heat up the house before you got up. I wasn't up for more than ten minutes, so you didn't get that much more sleep."

  "Oh, okay. I thought he'd been awake for a while." She laid John on the bed and put on the old robe that was lying on the end of the bed. Then she picked up the baby and went in the main room to nurse John in the rocking chair.

  "I'll fix you some breakfast as soon as I finish feeding him."

  "I'm just going to go feed the horses, Anna. I'll still be on time to the ranch, it's early yet. Pa is giving everyone the afternoon off because of that fair in La Grande today. Just got to feed the animals, milk the cows, and get a couple of steers ready to take to sell. Do you want to go to the fair? Mama asked if you were coming. She is bringing a picnic lunch."

  "Yes, that would be nice, George. Is there a lot to do there? I've never been to one."

  "It's mostly people just getting together, Anna. A lot of farmers set up stalls and sell their crops, but Pa isn't going to do that this year. He just wants to see what all goes on there. I heard they were going to have some good hoedown music too. I guess we'll find out when we get there what it is all about."

  "So I'll make us a small lunch to eat before we go, and we'll be dressed and ready to go when you get back. Shall we take the buckboard or the rig?"

  "I think the buckboard. We might find some food we will want to stock up on. I'm glad I bought that old buckboard from Mr. Mueller. It will come in handy today."

  "I'll be back in about half an hour. I'm going to muck out the stalls and feed the horses. It was really nice of Mr. Perry to let us use a couple of his stalls for our horses without charging us. I'm mucking a couple of his stalls to pay for that."

  "Okay, George. I'll have your breakfast ready when you come back."

  When she got done nursing John, she changed him again, retrieved a blanket from the bedroom, and put him on the blanket on the floor. He rolled over on his tummy immediately, got up on his knees and started rocking back and forth. Anna laughed and went over to the stove to start cooking. She got bacon and four eggs out of the icebox that George had purchased for her. She had made biscuits the day before and had them on the counter under a towel. When the bacon started cooking that queasiness came back, and she went quickly out the door to bring up what was left in her stomach.

  John was sitting up on the blanket when she came in. He was playing with the blocks George had made him. She felt better when she came back and added more wood to the fire in the stove, before she cracked the eggs and put them in the bacon grease that was left after she fried the bacon. She had put the slices on the tin plates that she had already set on the table. She kept her eye on John as she didn't want him to scoot too close to the potbelly stove and get burned.

  George came back in, picked up his son, and held him on his lap while he ate breakfast. Anna slid the fried eggs on his plate out of the pan, put butter and jam on the table, and the bowl of biscuits. She had made coffee too and filled the pewter mug for him. She started to feel sick again and told George she had to go to the outhouse, and that she would return in a minute. She was famished when she returned and ate her bacon and eggs, not caring that they were cold.

  "Can we check the mail while we are in town, George? I want to see if there is a letter from Mama."

  "Of course we can, Anna. I will check first thing when we get there, but I think the post office closes early on Saturday, so we might not get there in time."

  Chapter Six

  "The Union County Fair"

  1910

  After George left, Anna cleaned up the kitchen and the bedroom, then she put a fussy John down for his morning nap. He went right to sleep, and Anna got ready to go to the fair. She put on her best muslin dress and laid out her bonnet and the little dress she had made for John, and the sweater Caroline had knitted for him. She p
ut some clean diapers in the basket she was preparing to take with her, a couple of extra blankets in case he wet one, and a little hat she had made him. She wrapped some biscuits in a cloth and added them to the basket. In case she started feeling sick she would have something to chew on that should calm her stomach. She had no idea what kind of food they sold at the fair.

  George returned just after noon. Anna had finished feeding John, and she had some ham, cheese, biscuits, and prunes ready for George, as she knew he would be hungry after a morning of hard work. She wasn't feeling well and had been chewing on a biscuit and a piece of cheese before he arrived. John pulled himself up on the chair and was trying to walk around the small table by grabbing the table legs. George held his arms out to him as he was only a couple of steps away. John reached for his father with one arm but didn't want to let go. Finally, he let go and lunged toward George who caught him. George and Anna laughed and little John started giggling.

  "He will be walking soon, Anna."

  "Yes, it seems like it will be any day now. I'm going to have my hands full when this next one arrives."

  "So you're sure, Anna?"

  "Oh yes, I'm sure. Probably be around the first of June."

  John tried to get down off of Anna's lap, while they rode to the fair in La Grande. The fair was new to Union County. La Grande had only become the county seat in 1905, so it was a small affair. Several booths with different kinds of produce lined up one side of the path that led toward the quickly put together barns. Apples, pears, apricots, cherries, and raspberries were displayed in crates in the small booths. Although it was early September, there was a booth that still had ears of corn, gourds, cucumbers, peppers, and some Italian prunes for sale, like Frank grew on his ranch.

  The Hempe family had just arrived when they saw George pull his wagon into the area set aside for parking. Anna could see the ranch hands walking into the fair, as George helped her out of the buckboard. They were taking the stock that Frank wanted to show to the display barn. Anna sighed with relief that she wouldn't have to talk to Jude, as she went to greet her in-laws.