A Girl Worth Waiting For (The Worthy Series Book 1)

by S. M. Smith

  “Oh, of that, I have no doubt. Who could ever reproduce your obsessive nagging in such an adorable southern accent?”

  Daphne grew up in Alabama and moved to go to the University of Missouri. Why, I will NEVER understand, but I am immensely happy that she did. She adds a whole other level of entertainment to my world and I wouldn’t give her up for anything.

  The waitress comes and takes our order and hurries away before Daphne leans back in her chair and stares me down to continue.

  “He was a perfect gentleman.” She raises an eyebrow in suspicion. “Really, he was. He defended me to Ah-lexis, who wanted him to hire me as the photographer for a fundraiser, by the way. He asked me to be his date for it actually.”

  “So he put you on the spot…again.” She isn’t looking pleased.

  “Well, yes, but after everyone left he told me that I didn’t have to agree to go if I was going to be uncomfortable again.”

  “So he backed out faster than a bandit runnin’ from the law then.”

  “No.” I am starting to get frustrated with this negative vibe she is putting off. “He was telling me he understood the position he put me in and was giving me the option of what I wanted instead of forcing me to do something I didn’t want to do.”

  “Mmmhmm.” She sips her water but doesn’t look at all convinced that he is as nice as I am trying to make him sound.

  “He didn’t kiss me.” She nearly sprays her water all over me.

  “And why in Heaven’s name not?”

  I start to fidget with my napkin.

  “Because he could see I wasn’t ready for him to do so.” I look back up to see her expression soften a bit. “But I can say it wasn’t for his lack of trying.” She smiles again.

  “Well good. Because if he tried to make moves on you too early, I’d be all over him like June bugs on a porch light.” I just shake my head at her. The sun peeks out of the clouds and I tip my head back to feel its warmth on my face.

  “You’re not telling me something. Spit it out, lady.” The waitress comes by to serve us our salads and see if we need anything else. I take the interruption to think about how I want to say this without making him sound any worse than she is picturing him to be already. Once the waitress leaves, she pokes again. “Go on.”

  I stab at my salad a couple of times before I realize what I want to say.

  “Do you think I’m good enough for him?” I thought her salad was going to fly across the patio and cover the other restaurant patrons. They may not have gotten a plate of food in their face, but they heard her loud and clear.

  “Not good enough for him? You have GOT to be kidding me.” I try to calm her down but she just keeps ranting until she is back to her normal passionate level. “Jessie St. James. You had better believe that there are only a few men in this world good enough FOR YOU and not the other way around.” She is boiling at this point so I interrupt her to get her to fully calm down.

  “Okay, so poor choice of words-“

  “You better believe those were a poor choice of words. Good enough for him? Seriously, Jessie?”

  “All I meant was that he is on a totally different...” she pops an eyebrow up to challenge me to choose my next words carefully as she takes another bite of her salad, “social level than I am and I was wondering if I’m getting too far in over my head. I feel completely out of place with his friends and I just don’t know how to handle that.”

  “Well, you’re not dating his friends. You’re dating him, and as long as he’s treating you appropriately, don’t you think that’s all that should matter? Not that I’m not questioning if he’s treating you right.”

  I think about her words for a few minutes. She is right. I am not dating his friends; I’m dating him and I shouldn’t be grading the future success of our relationship based on what his friends are like.

  “How is everything else? Have you heard from Jake again?” I haven’t told her about his message during the game, and given her responses from earlier, I think it best not to bring it up now.

  “Not really. I had his number blocked and Dad said he hasn’t tried to come by the house since that Sunday. I think he may be gone for good.” Although I know that’s what I need for my life to go on, my heart still aches at the thought of him not being in my life anymore. Daphne understands how big of a role he led in my life so she doesn’t push the matter anymore, for which I am incredibly grateful.

  We gab on about little sorts of everything for a little while longer and somehow I get to the topic of holding Caleb’s hand.

  “It’s a feeling I didn’t know I was missing. To have someone’s gentle touch again. And then he pulls me to his side too. Like last night when he introduced me to Lucas and Shaina, he wrapped his hand around my waist and pulled me close so that I was standing in front of him, like he’s already comfortable with me. I had definitely taken those touches for granted with Jake.”

  She smiles briefly but then allows concern to cross her face.

  “You’ve told him, haven’t you?” I give her a confused look so she continues, “About your vow of abstinence?”

  “Oh, yes. Well I had to, sort of. He asked what happened with Jake and before I could filter myself I just let it all out. Why do you ask?”

  “Just making sure. I don’t want you to get in a position where his expectations are no longer ‘virtuous’.” She uses air quotes, probably to reiterate her suspicions of him. But her words have an underlying message and I understand her loud and clear. She doesn’t trust that Caleb is as understanding of my promise as he is leading on to be. But what she doesn’t understand is that if I can walk away from a ten-year relationship, I can walk away from a sexy man in a suit that I’ve barely known a few weeks.

  “You do realize that I’m seeing him because you pushed me into doing so, right?” I remind her.

  “Pushed you?? You mean encouraged you. And really I only encouraged you to call him and do lunch with him. You’re the one who is committing to ritzy football games and snobbish dinner dates.” She says all that with a faux innocent look in her eye, but we both know that she’s far from innocent in this matter.

  My phone buzzes against the table so I pick it up to find Stephen has texted me.

  Hey beautiful! What are your plans for tonite?

  My DVRs full of Duck Dynasty, so its me, a bowl of spaghetti and Uncle Si. U? I reply.

  “Who’s that?” Daphne perks up, trying to detect who I’m talking to.

  “Stephen. Why?” I tell her. She gives me a curious look but doesn’t say anything. My phone dings again.

  Well I wouldn’t want to get between u and ur fav uncle ;) but I was wondering if u’d be up for sushi with me instead?

  Mmmm…Sushi…so much better than spaghetti, and I LOVE spaghetti. I haven’t had the chance to hang out with Stephen in a while, so I accept his invitation.

  I think he wouldn’t mind me rescheduling. Pick me up at 7?

  It’s a date. My phone buzzes not ten seconds later. I don’t realize how much I am missing time with him, so the thought of us getting to spend some quality time together definitely makes me happy.

  I click my phone shut and set it down. I look up to find Daphne gawking at me like she can’t believe what she just saw.

  “What? Do I have something in my teeth or something?” She shakes her head as if to refocus her attention. My phone buzzes one last time.

  “What,” Daphne asks, gawking again, “was all that about?”

  “What do you mean?” Her eyebrows shift as if to say I know exactly what she means, but honestly, I have no clue as to what she is expecting.

  “Girl, you’re glowin’ brighter than the Christmas tree on Times Square in December.”

  “Oh, I am not.” She starts shaking her head as if she isn’t believing a word that I’m saying. “He’s saving me from another night at home by myself with nothing to do but watch reruns of Duck Dynasty.”

  “Mmmhmm. That’s all he’s doing.” I roll my ey
es at her. I have no idea what she’s talking about.

  ***

  The knock on the door arrives promptly at seven. I yell down the hall for him to come on in and a moment later he pops his head through my bedroom door. I am just finishing up at my vanity when I see his dazzling face.

  “Hey, gorgeous! Are you ready yet?”

  After the last few events with Caleb, I check Stephen to make sure I’m not underdressed. But I breathe a little easier when I find him in jeans and a v neck t-shirt. I didn’t really want to dress up tonight, but had a backup plan should he show up in slacks or a dress shirt.

  “How cold is it out there?” Again, learning my lesson from our last football game.

  “Too cold for those.” He smiles and points to the sandals I’m reaching for. So instead I opt for my Sperry’s and grab my khaki jacket. “So how do you feel about Jo’s?” he asks hesitantly. “If not, we can try the new place on Southwest,” he adds quickly.

  Jo’s is our favorite sushi bar that just so happens to be three blocks from my building. He, Maddy, Jake and I would go every couple of weeks. We would let Jo do the ordering for us; sometimes she would get creative and whip up a new roll just for us. She’s a gem, but her restaurant is someplace that the hint of Jake still lingers. It will be awhile before I can go back, and that while hasn’t passed yet.

  “Let’s just try the new place on Southwest,” he says, sensing my hesitation. I take a deep breath and give him all the ‘let’s try a new adventure’ smile I can muster.

  He drives and we talk about everything that we have missed with one another over the last week. I tell him all about the projects we have going on at the studio and he tells me what he can about the cases he’s working. He’s a lawyer for Adams, Michaelson and Associates, THE big firm in town, and seems to be doing quite well there. He has always been one to fight for justice and what is right, so it doesn’t surprise me that he has put so much dedication and drive into his work. If only he would take half of that determination and apply it to finding someone to spend his life with…

  We get there and the ambiance is pretty cool, but not like Jo’s. Realizing that is my first thought, I force myself to stop comparing everything and just let myself experience something new. I take in the panels of saltwater fish tanks and the vividly colored fish that occupy them. The fish are so beautiful and mesmerizing; just swimming along minding their own business. They can swim behind rocks or into a piece of coral whenever they want and only come out to be seen when they choose. The idea is captivating to me because lately, that’s how I felt like living. But in reality that’s not how life is supposed to be lived. We are called to do more with our lives than hide in a cave, wallowing in our own self-pity, only come out when it’s convenient for us.

  I get caught staring at them instead of figuring out what I want off the menu.

  “Jess, are you okay?”

  I shake off the hypnotized feeling and look down at the menu. Most places have the same rolls with the same ingredients so I try to find something on the menu that sounds good, but has what I know I like in it. I give my order to the waitress and hand the menu back before I look back up at Stephen, who looks a little concerned.

  “What’s wrong? You seem a little distracted.”

  “I’m sorry, I was just watching those fish and was thinking about how much easier life would be if we could live like they do; coming and going as we please without effect or consequences to our actions.”

  “But we’re called to do so much more.” I can’t help but smile at how well our minds work so closely alike.

  “That’s actually exactly what I was just thinking.”

  “So what is making you want to hide? Jake?” I think about my answer for a second, trying to dig deep enough to see if Jake really is the source of my dismay lately.

  “Not necessarily. More so the position he’s put me in. I can’t say I’m 100% over him; we were together for ten years. I’m not sure I’ll ever be totally over him. But it’s more about the fact that my life is turned upside down right now. So he showed his true colors and now my plan for my life has been shattered, blown into smithereens.” I throw my hands out to mimic the effects of a grenade. “I now have to figure out how to put all those pieces back together and make something of my life. I’m so embarrassed by some of the things I’ve done to try to overcome my pain up to this point, all in the name of making me feel better. It all just makes me want to crawl in a hole and not really care for a while. And then there’s the icing on the proverbial cake: my clock is ticking. I’m turning 29 in a few months and I feel this pressure to figure it all out now or else I’m going to miss out on some of the greatest things in life.” I take a breath to pick up my soap box again, but the waitress brings us our first roll.

  Stephen nods, but sits quietly, pondering everything I just said. The thing is, there are things I know he wants too, like a wife and kids, but he doesn’t seem to be doing anything to get to where he wants. I don’t want to put my stress on him so I just leave our conversation hanging while I indulge in some yummy sushi until he’s ready to continue. The waitress brings us our second roll when he finally decides to chime back in.

  “So, this Caleb. How are things going with him?” I notice that he doesn’t look me in the eye when he asks and that makes me curious, but I answer anyway.

  “Well, that’s the second issue that has me pondering life’s deepest challenges.” He looks up then, almost with a hopeful look.

  “What do you mean?”

  I tell him about our dates so far and how aside from our lunch date, they have started as complete disasters.

  “But when it’s just us, he’s a different person, more relaxed and caring and pays better attention to me. I feel like I can be more myself with him, I don’t have to be somebody else, or someone more.” Stephen takes this all in without saying a word, just keeps eating sushi like he’s not really paying attention to it. When I finish, he just nods his head like he understands, but doesn’t offer any advice.

  “So… you’re being awfully quiet.” I tell him when he finishes his last piece of sushi. He gives me a half-hearted laugh and shrugs his shoulders.

  “Hmm. All that from a fish tank?” His grin grows into a playful smile.

  I sigh and shrug, deciding to let it go for now. “Call me Socrates.”

  Chapter Ten

  The time is flying and before I know it, it’s already October. I feel each day ticking away, and as it does my heart grows heavier and heavier. Letting go of Jake gets easier and easier each day, but the stability his presence in my life gave me is still crumbling and I try not to focus on the future, but that just makes my head hurt.

  “You have got to get your head out of the ‘could have beens’ and back into the ‘what is happenin’ right now’. You are too young to be worrying your pretty little head about things that are out of your control,” Daphne yelled at me the other day. She had a point, so that is what I’m trying to do now.

  The fundraiser is quickly approaching and I am doing my best to get excited about it. Caleb and I finally had our first of many solo dates. While he did his best to take me to places I am more at ease with, he still insists on taking me to places well outside my comfort zone. My closet isn’t equipped for his lifestyle so I have added many little black dresses and a few evening gowns to my wardrobe. I am starting to have fun, playing dress up so frequently and getting to know the ins and outs of his society, and as I do, the more relaxed I’m becoming. As he sees this, I start getting invitations as his plus one to clientele dinners and the like. We also have a couple of dinner dates with Lucas and Shaina, who are quickly growing into two of my favorite people to hang out with. She and I even went for mani/pedis a week ago.

  A few days prior to the fundraiser, I called Shaina to find out what would be the most appropriate to wear. She told me what kinds of dresses to look for and even recommended a couple of stores I should try out. She isn’t available, so I take Daphne with me and mak
e a day of shopping.

  “Holy Cow!” Daphne exclaims as she approaches a champagne colored gown that has elaborate beading all over the bodice. The boutique is chic, very modernly designed in all white and starch lighting. The tiny toothpick that is running the store wears six inch heels and makes herself busy around the store. If I had to work in six inch heels, I think to myself, I’d change occupations. “Oo! Jessie look at this one!!” She holds out a strapless periwinkle gown that fades into a shimmer up the dress.

  “Shh! Keep it down. The whole mall doesn’t need to know your every thought.” I shush her as I make my way over toward where she is making a commotion.

  “Oh, give it a rest. I am positive we are not going to run into any of his hoity-toity friends who are going to judge you for your loud Southern friend. I like this one.” She holds out a ruby red one shoulder dress that gathers at one side. It is gorgeous. I realize then that I don’t know what color would be appropriate to wear. I grab my phone to send a quick message.

  “I’m beginning to see a problem here,” I tell her while navigating through my phone. “You love every dress. I’m gonna ask Caleb what color he’s wearing. I really, REALLY don’t want to clash this time.” I send him a quick message and start browsing around. My phone buzzes a few seconds later.

  Any color you like. I’ll match you

  Are there any inappropriate colors I should be concerned about? I send back, eyeing the red one Daphne has just shown me, but I don’t want to stick out like a sore thumb if I can help it.

  Most will be in black, which is really drab, or white, which is very wedding like, definitely something with color ;)

  I grab the red and periwinkle dresses, semi-shocked to find they are my size and head over to ask the attendant if I can try them on. I follow her to a mirrored door she unlocks for me and watch as Daphne meanders her way through the racks with what looks like half the dress selection in her hands.

  “Try these too!” She chimes as she approaches us.

  “There is a five dress limit,” the ever so enthused attendant says emotionlessly. Daphne shrugs her shoulders and counts out three more dresses and hands them to me, holding onto the others.