by Tyler Grey
“Can’t sing?”
Seth gave a noncommittal shrug, and I dropped it. He was probably just tired from the long day. Having a kid can be the equivalent of running a daily emotional marathon. So, after the last few notes of the song sounded, I turned off the radio.
“C’mon, Mom,” Christian protested.
It was only a minute or so before he’d piped down, however, and the car was filled with a much-welcome silence. On a hunch, I craned my neck to check the back and smiled.
Behind us, Nana and Christian were passed out, their heads stacked on each other. Now, finally, it was just Seth and me. Now, we could talk.
I reached for his hand and squeezed it.
“Seth, I can’t thank you enough for this weekend. The amusement park, the hotel, everything—it’s been nothing short of a fairy-tale.”
As my eyes scanned his aloof profile, he nodded. I watched him, waiting for the response that would come, was coming. For the returned smile, the expression breaking through the mask of impassivity, anything. But Seth sat there beside me, staring down the road, no different than a stranger.
I dropped his hand. He didn’t react. I turned to look out my window. Outside, there were no cars, hardly any scenery at all, just black fields. Empty, just like Seth’s eyes. I sucked in a breath, glaring at my miserable-looking reflection, half-visible in the window. Had I been imaging the way he’d looked at us today and last night, the affection in his eyes? Had it all been an act, all part of the game to get his way, to get me? Had Seth had his fill now?
I took a deep breath, in through my nose, then out through my mouth. No point in jumping to conclusions; maybe Seth was just tired.
“Last night—words can’t describe how wonderful it was,” I said, scanning his face eagerly, “And today too. Don’t you think?”
Another one of those terse nods, and my voice shriveled up in my throat.
The rest of the ride wasn’t long, but it felt like an eternity of blinking back tears, steadying my breath, and listening. But all I heard were the fitful breaths of Nana and Christian as they slept. Seth was silent until he pulled up to our house.
Shaking Christian and Nana away, I helped as they clambered out, with sleepy but grateful words of appreciation for Seth.
I lingered behind a second, still scanning his face, looking for what I didn’t find. The smile Seth had put on for Nana and Christian was already drooping.
He nodded to me. “See you tomorrow, Alisha.”
Swallowing back my croaky voice, I made sure my response was just as cold and emotionless as his had been.
“See you tomorrow, Mr. Jackson.” I slammed the door behind me, and seconds later, the SUV was wheeling off.
“Well, that was a nice time,” Nana said, with a decided smile. “Next trip though, I’ll have to check out the spa before passing out.”
“Yeah, Seth has a pass, right?” Christian asked.
I was already turning the lock in the front door and glad they couldn’t see my face right now.
“I think so,” I said, “But now, it’s time for bed.” I didn’t have the heart to tell them there wasn’t going to be a next time. I kept my lips frozen into the same fake smile as I tucked Christian into bed a short while later.
With his head nestled against the pillow, he turned his animated face to me, eyes alive with excitement. “I really like Seth! Can he come over sometimes?”
Considering my response as I ran my hand through his silky blond hair, thankfully the dark obscured my teary eyes.
“I’ll ask him and see, bud, okay? Goodnight. I love you.”
Leaning over, I kissed him on the cheek.
“Goodnight, Mom. Love you, too.”
At the door, I paused to look back. Maybe I was imagining it in the dark, but the expression on Christian’s sleepy face looked more peaceful than I could remember it being for a long time.
When I went out to say goodnight to Nana, she already had her ridiculous bright pink penguin pajamas on again. Catching sight of them, the joy of last night flooded through me. I took a deep breath, then, blinking back tears, threw my arms around her in a hug.
As we drew apart, Nana said, “I know he’s your boss and that makes the situation difficult, but that Seth of yours is a keeper, Alisha. You should give him a chance.”
I forced a smile.
“Thanks, Nana.”
Thankfully, she went off to her room, leaving me alone in the family room to slump on the sofa. It sank creakily as I sat down and put my hand on the old and gray fabric, the gray a perfect reflection of how I was feeling now. I frowned and tensed my face furiously, but there was no fighting against the tears now. They streamed down my face swiftly, along with the unwelcome thoughts and conclusions from tonight.
Poor Nana, she didn’t know how off she was. I hadn’t just given Seth a chance; I’d given him way too many. How could I have actually thought he wanted something real with me? Just because he threw money at my family and had some pizza with my son didn’t mean jack-shit. Not when he’d specifically said that he wanted something casual, something that wouldn’t demand his time. Last time I checked, a single mom with a son and grandmother to feed and entertain was the exact opposite of not demanding.
I held a pillow to my chest, chastising myself for being so stupid, and for exposing Christian to something that wasn’t even real.
In my head, Seth’s deep baritone voice echoed with his words from last night. “Being afraid to take chances is its own prison. Do you really want to trade one mistake for another? Sometimes spontaneous things can be good—like me coming on this trip.”
That whole conversation in the Jacuzzi, maybe I’d gotten it all wrong. Maybe Seth hadn’t been encouraging me to take a chance on caring for him. Maybe he’d just been trying to close the deal—to get me to take a chance on fucking him. And now that he’d gotten what he wanted from me, that was that. Game over.
I jumped to my feet and flung the pillow at the couch. Glaring at my reflection in the mirror on the wall, I ripped off my dress. Taking the colorful thing in two fingers, I quickly opened the door and flung it in the trash bin outside.
Then I stormed upstairs, half-naked and triumphant. If casual was what Seth wanted, then I’d give him casual. I’d finish the disclosure, nice and easy, and then I’d request a transfer to another department. I doubt that he’d even protest. Jim had been right about Seth, about his playboy ways. Seth had gotten what he wanted from me, and now he was finished with me.
I had just flopped into bed when my phone rang. Recognizing the number, I picked up immediately.
“Just wanted you to know that my husband is changing this number. He doesn’t want to keep being bothered by you and your son.”
“But—”
Dial tone. I glared at my phone before I chucked it toward the edge of my bed. Instead of just landing, however, it slid off the edge and down onto the hardwood floor.
Crack!
When I hurried over, it was already too late. The glass display screen was destroyed, an angry spider web of cracks.
This time, I carefully placed the broken thing on my bedside table before collapsing back into bed. Then, clamping a hand over my mouth, I quietly let it all out. Wails and sobs of despair and defiance. My raging frustration at Todd and his evil new wife, my whole situation, Seth. One question after another shot into my head.
Why did Todd’s new wife have to be such an evil bitch? Couldn’t she see that she’d won, that she had everything I’d ever wanted? What was I going to say later when Todd finally got in contact with us again and asked about Seth? How was I going to fix my phone? How could I face Seth tomorrow after all that had happened?
The questions and tears only stopped when my eyes drooped closed. As exhaustion finally kicked in, my last thought before falling asleep was wondering if today could have been any worse.
Chapter 29
Seth
I opened my eyes. Closed them and slammed my hand down on my beepi
ng alarm. No way could it be six already; I felt like I hadn’t slept for a second.
Squinting at my alarm clock screen, the little blue letters read six-oh-one. Cursing, I staggered out of bed, forcing myself into my morning routine. I stumbled to the shower and there, in the cold water, I thought of her. Alisha. The way she’d stared at me at the end of the night after I’d dropped them off. Stared at me as if finally fully seeing me. For the disappointment that I was. I squeezed a glob of shampoo in my hand and rubbed it into my hair. The usual vanilla scent didn’t give me any pleasure; it only reminded me of her. The way her skin had tasted when I’d traced it with my tongue.
Directing my head right under the blast of water, I rubbed the suds away from my hair. That was how it would be with Alisha. Gradually, I’d wash myself clean of her. Sure, these first few days of getting back to normal would be tough, but they would be doable.
Once I got out, and a quick towel-dry later, I was throwing on my suit and heading out the door. There was no time to waste; my shower reverie had cost me an extra fifteen minutes.
The drive to work was the same old thing. Billy picked me up at six-thirty sharp, same as always.
“Late night?” he asked, knowingly, as I stepped in.
“Yeah, I feel like shit,” I told him. This shut him up. Billy knew me well enough to know when I was in a bad mood and to give me space when I was.
As we crawled along the highway jam-packed with traffic, my mood only worsened. The sky was apparently in the same mood too—gray, with black billowing clouds. I’d wasted the last few days, and now I’d have to make up for it by working extra hard. This acquisition was going to make me too much money to screw it up now.
Getting to work was a brief respite. The dark curly-haired receptionist was there, smiling brightly at me.
“Good morning, Mr. Jackson. Your breakfast came in a few minutes ago.”
As she handed me the package, her fingers connected with mine, while her lids lowered.
“Thank you.”
My dick twitching with annoyance, I snatched the bag and continued on. Was I now no longer allowed to even imagine fucking another woman without Alisha Townsend fucking barging into my head?
Upstairs, who should I pass but Jim Chambers, who made the feeblest attempt to smile I’d seen yet. I ignored him and continued into my office.
There, I sat down in my leather seat and got to work. There were so many forms and regulations to get through. If I didn’t start now, I wouldn’t finish them at all. And yet, every time I made it through a paragraph, I found myself glancing up. Checking—for her.
Stupid, I reminded myself, it’s still another half-hour until she’s due to be here.
Anyway, things are over between you two, the reasonable voice in my head continued. That’s what you decided in the car. It’s for the best—for both of you.
My eyes scanned the words on the page in front of me once more, reading nothing. If it was really for the best, then why was my first thought upon waking longing? For her in my arms, her lips on mine. If this was the right thing to do, then why did it feel so wrong?
I got up and walked over to the bathroom to take a piss.
On my way back out, I glanced in my private bedroom. Where I’d experienced her the first time. Who would’ve thought some out-of-practice divorcée would’ve been so skillful, so sensual? My dick hardened at the memory, and I swore, gazing into the well-furnished room. I’d only need a few minutes, a few minutes to splay myself on the bed and stroke my raging erection into release, thinking of that time. The way she’d looked at me, absolutely panting with the want. The same want I felt now. Fuck.
Wheeling around, I stormed back into my office, slamming the door shut behind me. Fuck that. Fuck Alisha, too. Today, what I needed, more than anything, was to work.
And yet, was it? What if the greatest opportunity lost wasn’t this acquisition, but Alisha herself? She was smart and funny, and the way I’d talked to her, I’d almost felt like I could tell her anything.
My frustrated fist crumpled up the paper I was looking at, then my hands neatly and carefully spread it out again. I glanced at the chrome clock on the wall. It was eight-twenty—hang on. I stood up and checked the time on my phone to be sure. Yes, Alisha was twenty minutes late. I paced around, checking my phone again. Alisha wouldn’t call in sick today of all days, would she? She knew how important this acquisition was to the business. And even if she did call in sick, she’d at least text me—she would never just not show up at all.
Finally, I ripped my phone out of my pocket and dialed her number. Ring, ring, ring. Then, her voice, cool and informal, stupidly reassuring: “This is Alisha Townsend. Please leave a message at the beep.”
I hung up. Standing, I began to pace, calling the number again. Again, several rings before finally reaching voicemail. Shit.
Returning to my desk, I hunkered down and got to work. I scanned and signed my way through the forms with a vengeance, flipping through the figure-covered papers so fast I hardly had time to think, let alone worry about Alisha. But when my phone beeped with a message, and I saw it was from McKenzie—not Alisha—and, more importantly, that it was nine-fifty-seven, I leaped up. Calling Alisha’s number again did nothing—just the same rings and voicemail. This time, I left a message, “Hi Alisha. It’s Seth. Just wondering what’s going on, and where you are. Call me.”
When I hung up, there was a knock on the door. It was the busty, curly-haired receptionist.
“Sorry, Mr. Jackson, I know you said that you weren’t to be disturbed, but Ms. Masters—”
“She’s right, I demanded to see you,” McKenzie declared, as she sashayed in, barging past the flustered young woman.
She turned to the girl with a withering glare and a crisp dismissal, “You can leave now.”
The girl’s wide-eyed gaze went to me, and I nodded.
“Thank you.”
The door shut behind her, and McKenzie made a face.
“Oh please, don’t pretend you haven’t missed me.”
I sank back into my chair, and I suddenly felt very, very tired.
“I have not.”
McKenzie pouted, her sparkle-shadowed eyes scanning me carefully. Evidently unsatisfied with what she’d found, she forced her face into a less than repugnant look as her manicured nails clasped the black metal pull of her zipper. She was wearing a long, black trench coat.
“Bet you’ve always wondered what we have on under these things, haven’t you?”
Her voice was light and teasing, as she slid the zipper down, further and further.
My breath caught in my throat as the zipper hit the bottom. Between the black sides of the coat, I could see her cleavage. McKenzie was baring her perfect chiclet teeth into a knowing grin, while her eyes assumed a calculating sort of innocence.
“Want me to open it?”
My cock twitched. Because really, I did want her to open the coat. I wanted her to pull back the sides and have those huge tits fall out. I wanted to take her by the throat and fuck her, fuck her not for the act itself, but to fuck away Alisha. Because right now, for fuck’s sake, as I watched my ex-wife striptease in front of me, all I could do was glance at my phone to see if Alisha had responded.
“Seth?”
Now McKenzie looked livid, but I didn’t care. I shook my head. “Now’s not a good time, darling.”
She stomped her foot. “It’s true then. The rumors about you fucking your single mother employee.” An ugly laugh fell from her lips as she wrenched the zipper back up. “Fucking typical, Seth. You do realize, of course, that she’s just like me—will have the same needs, no matter how cute and sweet she is. She’s just a fucking desperate gold-digger, you do know that, don’t you, honey?”
A cold rage surged through me. Gripping the hard edge of my desk, I rose and strode up to her, and took her chin in my hand.
I leaned down to hiss in her face.
“Get the fuck out of here. Next time I see you here
, I’ll have you thrown out.”
I shoved her back, away from me while frenzied sobs filled the room.
“F-f-fuck you! You can have your fucking single mom whore!”
Then she was storming out, swearing and yelling at any employee unlucky enough to be in her path.
I walked out to see several employees gaping at me.
“I apologize for the disturbance everyone. Just tying up some loose ends.”
As soon as I was back in my office, I checked my phone. Still nothing, and it was now ten-fifteen, with no word from Alisha. I called her number, once again to no avail, and left another message. I sat down, then immediately stood back up.
Next thing I knew, I was leaving the office. It wasn’t like Alisha to skip out on work like this. Something must have happened, and whatever that something was, it wasn’t good.
In my SUV, I sped all the way to Alisha’s, careening through yellow lights and around tortoise-like pedestrians. Only when I saw the familiar red brick house did I slow down. There was no car in the driveway and, when I rang the bell, it only gave off a mocking do-da-dee-do tune. I rang it again, and again, then knocked. There was no answer.
“You won’t be finding ‘em today, son.”
I looked over to the neighboring porch to see an old man behind a newspaper. He rocked forward and back on his creaky wooden chair, shaking his head.
“Nope. Not after the ambulance came.”
“What?” I sputtered out, striding off Alisha’s porch and over to his.
Over the edge of his paper, the man’s caterpillar eyebrows wriggled.
“Yep. Came around six-thirty this morning and took someone away.”
“Do you know who?”
“Nope. No can do,” the old man said with a sideways wag of his ball-capped head.
“Do you know which hospital the ambulance took them to?”
Another sideways wag of his head. “Nope. Probably the closest, I’d reckon.”
The next second, I was racing back to my car. My heart was in my throat, every beat like a gunshot. Who had they taken to the hospital? What had happened?
As I careened through traffic, my SUV may as well have been an ambulance or police car. Faster and faster I sped, my SUV still not outpacing my harried thoughts of the three of them at breakfast just yesterday, smiling and laughing. What if somehow I had done this? What if I’d cursed things, just as I started to feel something for someone? What if my pulling away had caused it?