by Tyler Grey
Over the years, I’d thought about Jacob a lot, even though I didn’t want to. I’d wondered what sort of man he had turned into and wondered if he was paying for what he had done to me. I figured he was the sort of man that wouldn’t care. I truly believed that he was the kind of man that wouldn’t have even given me a thought. I was probably just one of a million other people he had hurt. But this…blindness…I would never wish that on anyone. Not even my biggest enemy.
I made a big pot of beef curry that I was sure he would like. It took me a bit longer than I wanted because I had to wait for it to simmer and cook. I thought about walking around the house and getting to know my surroundings a bit more, but for some reason I found myself staying in the kitchen. Looking around felt too much like snooping and made me feel too uncomfortable. So I stood in the kitchen, stirring the curry and willing it to finish cooking. When it was done, I poured it into a bowl and placed it in the microwave. I’d made so much, so I put some into a bowl in the fridge and took some for myself. I was always in the habit of cooking for more people than was necessary, and I had definitely made too much this time around. It didn’t matter, though. I was happy to have some food for myself that night too. And Laurie was in the habit of popping around unexpectedly, so it was always good to have food for when she did. I suspected she’d be around, as she knew it was my first day here. She would probably want to know everything that had happened. I knew she was having a hard time believing that I was working for Jacob. He hadn’t been horrible to her during school days, but she still hated him for what he did to me.
I pushed the thoughts out of my head and thought about going to say goodbye to Jacob. In the end, I decided not to. He hadn’t come out of his room once, and I had a feeling he didn’t want to see me. I hoped that day one wasn’t a good indication of how things were going to be with the two of us. I chuckled lightly to myself as I left the house… perhaps Jacob and I were always going to have trouble with one another.
Chapter 11
Jacob
“Hello, my boy,” I said to Tank as he lay his head on my lap. I scratched him behind his ears because I knew he liked it. He always let out this small sigh when I did it, a little like a growl but more pleasant to the ears. It was incredibly cute. When I stopped, he sometimes pushed his nose against my leg as if he was trying to tell me to carry on. “Nice, huh? So, what did you think of Alice? It’s been a rough week, hasn’t it? Who knew I would one day be this man? I used to be so good with the ladies; now I’m hiding out in my room with you all the time.”
I liked talking to Tank. It felt like he understood me most of the time too. I’d been told before that blind people often had a very special relationship with their guide dogs, and I could now understand why. There was something about Tank that was unlike any animal I’d ever had in my life. I’d fallen in love with him before I was blind, but it had now been elevated to another level, and I knew that I would be lost without him.
“You’re the best,” I said to him. “Although, you already know that, don’t you? Anyway, I know that you like Alice because you always get such nice food from her.”
Alice had gotten into the habit of making food for Tank whenever she made something for me. She assured me that she was only giving him healthy food and that she wouldn’t give him anything that made him fat or lethargic. I believed her. She really liked Tank, and I had a feeling she was the sort of woman that took to animals quite easily. This didn’t surprise me. She was a very introverted person, and I wouldn’t be surprised if she liked animals more than she liked humans. With Tank beside me, I could easily see why, though. I’d also rather talk to Tank than to myself.
It was Sunday today and Alice’s day off. Hayden had promised to come out and take me to lunch, and I was looking forward to getting out the house a bit. I had started going for walks with Tank every day. Between my stick and my dog, I felt somewhat okay, but I was still very nervous. I was walking around the house with a lot more ease now, but going out into the real world still frightened me. At least at home, I knew exactly where everything was, but outside was different. For now, I just went up and down the road. It was a short walk, but it could sometimes take me up to two hours to do. I knew it would get better, and that I’d eventually be able to go further, but it was hard not to get frustrated. The walk was the only time I got to go outside. Alice had offered to take me to the store once, but I’d said no. I wasn’t quite ready for that just yet. Although, I was more than happy for Hayden to take me.
When Hayden knocked on the door, I was in my bedroom, and I moved to the front door to open it for him with a swiftness that surprised me.
“That was quick,” he said as I opened the door.
“Yeah, I’m only pretending to be blind so that people do things for me.”
He chuckled. “Smart move. Smart move.”
“Come on in,” I said, and closed the door behind him. “Oh, I have something for you, before I forget.”
“Is it your undying love?”
“Better. It’s a key to my house,” I said, and fished a key out from my pocket.
He took it from me and laughed. “Whoa. Aren’t we moving a bit too fast here? I mean, don’t you want to date me a bit longer first? We barely know each other.”
“Ha! You wish! Actually, I got Alice to cut a key for herself this week and asked her to do another one for you. Not that I expect you to just barge in here all the time, but I want you to have one. You know…in case something happens. I’m just being realistic here. I could fall or something,” I said uncomfortably. Hayden and I were always joking about my blindness, but I sometimes felt awkward when I had to say something serious to him. It sometimes felt as if we were both just trying to avoid what was really happening. But I was slowly coming to realize that I had to face up to my reality. Giving him a key was a big step, but I knew it was an important one.
“Good thinking, Batman. Oh, I brought coffee,” he said, and pushed a takeout cup in my hand.
I took the cup from him and took a sip. “Did you get it from Wagga’s?” I asked as we took a seat. Wagga’s was a café that we used to go to all the time. It wasn’t far from my house at all, but I hadn’t been in ages.
“It sure is. I figured you’d want some.”
“Always. I love this coffee. I’m actually on a mission to walk there myself. So far, I’ve just been going up and down the road every day. But Wagga’s is my goal. It will be nice to go there every day with Tank to get some coffee.”
“You know I can just come and get you, right? You just need to call.”
“I know,” I said with a hint of frustration. “But I want to do it myself. Anyway, it’s good for me to get out the house sometimes. I don’t want to hang around Alice all day while she cooks. I need to get out and do something for myself. I’ll get there eventually. I’m getting more and more confident, but it’s taking some time.”
“Dude, of course it’s taking some time. You’re just impatient.”
I laughed. “I know. But trust me, you’d be the same in my shoes. It’s incredibly frustrating. I just want to be totally at ease with this blindness, but it’s hard not to get frustrated.”
“I can imagine. Well, for what it’s worth, and in all seriousness, I think you’re doing great.”
I smiled. “Thanks, man.”
“So, what’s it like having a hot girl cooking for you every day?”
“First, I have no idea what she looks like. Second, it’s okay. Her food is amazing, and she always makes something for Tank too, which I think is a nice touch. But it’s a little strange having her here. She usually makes me some lunch and then makes some dinner and leaves it in the microwave for me. We’ve settled into an easy routine, but I still find myself hiding out in my room most of the day.”
“Is she still as quiet as she was that first day?”
“Oh yeah. I mean, she’s a little bit more talkative than the day of the interview, but not by much. It’s been a week now, and to be hones
t, we haven’t said all that much to each other. I actually don’t know much about her at all, other than her name and the fact that she cooks well.”
Hayden chuckled. “Have you asked her anything?”
“Well, no, but that’s beside the point. She hasn’t asked me anything either.”
He laughed. “The two of you are just the same, then. Don’t worry; it’ll get easier. So, are you ready to do a bit of shopping?”
“I’m ready. A blind person getting new clothes seems ridiculous, doesn’t it?”
“Not at all. So what if you can’t see? It doesn’t mean that other people can’t see you. You want to look good. The better you look, the less they’ll concentrate on you being blind. Now, do you trust me?”
I sighed. “Hayden, you better make me look good.”
I did actually trust Hayden. I knew he would only get me clothes that suited me. He got me a pair of jeans, a pair of shorts, and three different shirts to wear. Then he took me to the barber and got my hair cut and a bit of my facial hair trimmed. I told them not to trim it too much, though. I liked running my hand over my face and feeling the hair. I wasn’t sure why. It was a strange day.
“You know, before becoming blind, I barely cared at all about what I looked like. I always cut my own hair and just shaved whenever I felt like the hair on my face was getting too long. I wore the same shirts all the time, and I honestly cannot remember the last time I bought new jeans. Now I’m blind, and I suddenly have this desire to look good. It’s weird. It’s like I’m even more aware of people looking at me. It’s so screwed up,” I said.
“It makes sense, though,” he said. “In some weird way. But don’t worry, Jacob, you look great. I’m not just saying this because I’m trying to make you feel better, either. You’ve always been a much better-looking guy than me, and that hasn’t changed just because you lost your eyesight. If anything, it will probably make the women like you even more. They’ll want to save you, or something. It’s quite unfair, really.”
I laughed. “Well, you’re welcome to all the women that come my way. If there’s one thing I’m not yet ready for, it’s dating. I’m not sure when I’ll ever be ready for it again, to be honest. I’m sure I will, but it’s definitely not something that’s on my mind.” I had a long way to go before I would even think about looking for someone. I didn’t want to meet someone and then be reliant on them. I had to gain my confidence back first. That was the most important thing to me right now.
“What about Alice? Aren’t you at least a little bit curious about what it would be like to kiss her?”
I laughed. “Alice? I don’t even know her. I don’t even know what she looks like.”
“Want to know?”
“Sure. Indulge me.” I was glad he had brought this up. I did actually want to know what she looked like, but I hadn’t wanted to ask him in case it looked like I was interested in her. It was nice for me to have a picture of her in my head though, because right now I still had no idea what she looked like.
“She’s very pretty. Cute, I guess would be the right word for her. She’s slim, with beautiful brown hair. It has a bit of red it in too, which is really sexy. She has dark green eyes. Big eyes. Almost like she’s seen something surprising. She was wearing jeans when she came in for the interview, and a white T-shirt. Nothing fancy.”
“Tattoos?” I asked. I was full of tattoos, and I wondered what she thought of them.
“No tattoos that I could see, although you never know, I guess. All in all, she’s the perfect package. Not too flashy, not too boring.”
I sighed. “Well, it’s a pity I’ll never get to see her.”
“I’ll add in some more details the next time I see her so that you can get a better picture in your head.”
“Sounds good to me. I assume you’re going to try date her?”
He laughed. “Who knows. A good-looking girl that can cook? Sounds like the perfect woman to me.”
I had to smile at the thought of a girl like her walking around my house and cooking for me. I was both extremely lucky and unlucky. It was going to make me even more nervous now when I was at home alone with her. It was silly really, and it shouldn’t really make a difference, but I now had a clear image of what she looked like in my head. The picture that Hayden had painted for me was certainly very pretty indeed.
Chapter 12
Alice
I’d been looking forward to a day off all week, and I was happy when Sunday rolled around. It wasn’t that I was unhappy with my new job. It was quite the opposite, really. I was enjoying it more than I thought I would, and every day had been better than the last. Still, it was taking some getting used to, and the awkwardness hadn’t left completely. I was very wary about opening up to Jacob in case he found out who I was, and I was also scared of liking him too much. I wanted to keep things professional but distant. I had mixed emotions about him after the first week. For the most part, he seemed like a very nice man, and I would never have placed him as the sort of guy that would bully someone. Had he really grown up? Was he only acting like this because he’d become blind? I had to keep reminding myself that I didn’t like him, which was proving to be a lot harder than I initially thought.
I woke up later that morning and smiled when I saw I had a message from Laurie asking if I felt like a girls’ day out. I sent her a message and let her know that it was exactly what I felt like. We made a plan to meet in an hour’s time at a nearby café. Wagga’s was one of my favorite places to go for coffee. Nobody knew quite how to make a cup of coffee like the team at Wagga’s. I’d asked them to show me once what they did so that I could take the practice into my own home, but they refused to show me. They also refused to show me what coffee beans they were using. They said they wanted to keep me as a customer and not to divulge all their secrets. I didn’t mind; I loved going there.
The atmosphere at Wagga’s was always great. There was an air of friendliness that enveloped you no matter what time of the day you went. Whether it was pumping with people or quiet, it was friendly. It had to do with the staff most of all, the smell of coffee and pastries, and the warm and inviting décor. One side of the room was a large bookcase, and it was always my favorite place to sit if there were seats available. I noticed one free table, and I quickly ran to get it. While waiting for Laurie, I looked up at the bookshelf and smiled. I’d always been a big reader. I’d often said that if my cooking career didn’t take off, I’d try my hand at writing, but my ultimate goal would be to write a book based around my cooking career. It was still something I thought about often, although I wasn’t sure if it would ever come true. As I stared at the books, I couldn’t help but think of Jacob. Had he been a big reader before becoming blind? I wondered if I should introduce him to some audiobooks. I was a big fan of them myself. I loved going for long walks while listening to a book. It was sometimes better than a physical book because it gave you an opportunity to become fully absorbed in the story. I made a mental note to ask Jacob if he had listened to any. Then I shook my head. What was wrong with me? Was I really trying to find ways to make Jacob happy? Had I learned nothing from my childhood?
“Penny for your thoughts.”
I looked up and saw Laurie walking up to the table with two coffees. I chuckled. “Are you working here now?”
She placed the coffee down and sat opposite me. “I saw you sitting there so I figured I’d order the coffee in the meantime. You looked a million miles away.”
“I was. I was thinking about writing a book.”
She chuckled. “Ah, that old dream again.”
“Hey, it’s going to happen one day, you know.”
“Good. So, have you started writing it?” she teased. “I’d be more than happy to read through your first chapter if you’d like some critique.”
“I need a bit more experience in the cooking world before I can write the book. Give me a few years and I’ll have something amazing. You’ll see.” I took a sip of the coffee and smiled. “Ah
, this is good.”
“You know, I don’t doubt it. You’re going to have some amazing stories to tell. I mean, your first big cooking job is for a blind guy who used to bully you senseless as a child. That’s quite some story there already.”
I grimaced. “Don’t remind me.”
“So, week one is done. I can’t believe you survived it. How did it go? Are you thinking of quitting yet? Should we start looking for other jobs?”
“It’s not so bad. Like you said, I survived. It’s actually quite nice. I mean, for the most part, I don’t actually deal with Jacob all that much. He tends to keep to himself. I think he feels a bit weird about me being there, you know. I don’t blame him. I feel a bit weird about being there, too. The two of us don’t really talk much, and when we do, it’s usually about food or about Tank.”
“Tank?”
“His dog. The cutest dog in the world. I hear him talking in his room to Tank. But he doesn’t really say that much to me.”
“That’s probably a good thing, because when he did speak to you at school, he was always such a dick to you.”
I laughed. “Yeah, that’s true. It’s so weird. I can’t seem to connect that guy with the guy I’m working for. They honestly seem like two different men completely. I have to keep reminding myself that it’s the same guy.”
Laurie narrowed her eyes at me. “Do you like him?”
“No! Of course not. I still hate Jacob Coleman. I will never forget what he did to me. He was cruel and relentless and made my life a living hell. If it wasn’t for you, I’m honestly not sure how I would’ve gotten through those years. To this day I still thank my lucky stars that you were there for me. I don’t like him and I never will. It’s just very difficult to see this man as that man, even though I know that he is.”
“Good, you mustn’t forget. You’re such a good person, Alice, and I know you feel bad about what happened to him. But it doesn’t take away from what he did to you. As your best friend, I can never forget that. I even get angry thinking about you being alone in his house every day. I have to force myself not to think about it. I’ve been so close to coming over and dragging you out of there.”