by Tyler Grey
I got to work that day wondering if things were going to become awkward again. I decided to stop off at Wagga’s to get us coffee. It was nice that he liked it as much as I did, and I still felt sad that he was not able to see the bookshelf anymore. I had to stop feeling sad for him, though. I was sure he didn’t want people to feel that way when they looked at him. I knew that it wasn’t what I would want people to think if I had lost my eyesight. It wasn’t hard, though. I couldn’t help myself.
I opened the door and found Jacob sitting in the living room.
“I brought coffee!” I said as I entered.
He chuckled. “Now that’s the sort of greeting I could get used to. Thank you, Alice. That’s great. Tell me it’s a Wagga’s coffee.”
“I wouldn’t get you anything else.” I went over to the living room and handed him a cup.
“Thank you. Ah, this is delicious.”
“So, I brought more than just coffee with me today. I brought some audiobooks. I realized that I didn’t know what you enjoyed, so I have a few for you to choose from. If you want to hear? I thought I’d listen to them while I cooked today?” I hoped I wasn’t being too forward with him, but I figured the audiobooks would be a great way to get rid of any discomfort in the house. It would give us both something else to concentrate on.
“That sounds great. I like a lot of books. What do you have for me?”
I read him the list and told him what each one was about, and I saw his face light up at the last one, just as I thought it would. “Ready Player One is a dystopian novel set in 2044 and follows Wade Watts on his search for an Easter egg in a virtual reality game.”
“Done! That’s the one!” he exclaimed before I had even finished. “I’ve heard such good things about that book. I had no idea it was available as an audio.”
“Oh, most major books are now. I’m glad you said that because this is the one I wanted to listen to too. I hear the audio is amazing. Okay, should I put it on? Then I can make something for lunch. I have some great food planned for you today.”
“Sounds good to me. Uh, what are you going to play it through?”
“Don’t worry; I have it sorted.”
I took out my little laptop, where I had all the audiobooks stored, and opened up Ready Player One. I put the volume up and placed the laptop in between the living room and the kitchen so that both of us could hear it. Then I began to cook. It was strange at first. I kept looking toward Jacob to see if he was enjoying himself. Soon though, I found myself forgetting about him, and while I cooked, I listened to the voice of Wil Wheaton as he read the book. He was the perfect voice for it, and I was immediately transported into the story itself. I spent an hour and a half preparing the food, and when it was ready, I was almost disappointed to switch off the audio.
“I’m done with the cooking,” I said as the silence filled the room. “What did you think so far? You didn’t fall asleep, did you?”
Jacob was smiling. “Not at all. That was amazing. If this is what audiobooks are like, then sign me up. How cool is this book? I just want to hear more and more. I hope we’re going to make this a regular thing now?”
I grinned. This was exactly the reaction I was hoping for. “That works for me. Wow, this is a dream job. I get to cook and listen to audiobooks.”
“Your dream job? Well, that’s good to hear. I was worried it was going to be a job from hell for you. Uh, want to join me for lunch?”
I hadn’t planned on joining him, but I was starving, and things seemed easier with us. I nodded, and then realized he couldn’t see me. “Yeah, okay, that sounds great. I’ll bring everything over to the living room.”
I took all the food over and handed him a plate.
“It’s a steak sandwich. Hope that’s okay?”
He grinned. “That’s amazing. Are you having the same thing?”
I looked down at my sandwich. “Yep, same as you. I’d like to one day become a vegetarian, but I’m battling to make the transition.”
He sighed. “Same here.”
“Really? Ha, I thought you were going to mock me for it.”
“Mock you? Why would I mock you? Nah, I think it’s an amazing thing to do, but definitely not easy.”
“And also not the sort of conversation we should be having over a steak,” I said, and he laughed. I couldn’t believe how easy it was to talk to him. Young me would never have guessed this would happen one day. “Speaking of, would you be okay with some vegetarian meals, then?”
“Of course. Hey, if you can sway me in that direction, I would be more than happy with it. I’m not much of a cook, so meat was always the easy option, if I’m to be honest, but if anyone can convince me I have a feeling it’s going to be you. I can’t believe how lucky I am to have my own chef!”
“Okay, so if you’re not good at cooking, what are you good at? What do you enjoy doing?”
“Oh, I’m good at everything,” he said, and then chuckled. “Nah, I don’t know. I’m…I don’t know.”
“I never pegged you as a modest guy.”
“Oh, I’m not nearly as confident as I pretend to be.”
“Who is?” I said.
“Yeah, I guess that’s true.”
“Okay, forget that question. What do you enjoy doing other than drinking coffee from Wagga’s?”
“You know what I used to love? Something that I will never be able to enjoy again. Art. I used to love art. When I was in the navy I got the opportunity to go a lot of museums. I know, it’s not something you’d put with the navy, but we got to do a lot of things that I probably wouldn’t have done before. I fell in love with art. It wasn’t just about the art, either. I liked to figure out what the artist would’ve been like. What he or she had been thinking while painting. What sort of emotions would run through them. Ah, sorry, I’m getting away with myself. Sounds silly, I know. It’s just art.”
The speech took me by surprise. Jacob Coleman liked art? I would never have guessed it. “No, it’s not just art, and it’s not silly. I think it’s fantastic. I guess I feel that way about books.”
“Well, I might just have to shift my passion from art to books then, and I think Ready Player One might just help me do that.”
“I’m glad. You know, I would never have pegged you as an art guy, or a book guy, even.”
He laughed. “Why not? Are you trying to say I’m not smart enough? Oh, and this steak sandwich is amazing, by the way,” he said, and took a bite.
I smiled. “Thank you. I’m glad you like it. No, I’m not calling you stupid at all. You just seem like a bit of a macho man. It’s not an insult, just an observation.”
He chuckled. “Always good to surprise people. To be honest, I wasn’t the most intelligent kid in school. I got away with a lot of stuff, but it was only to cover up my own insecurities. I was introduced to a whole new culture in the navy, and I will forever be grateful for that.”
So, the navy changed him? No wonder he was not the same guy as before. I wanted to know more about what had happened to him, but the more I probed about it, the more he shut down. He seemed to be an open book about most things, but the navy and his past were two subjects that seemed off-limits.
“How about you? Have you always lived in this area?” he said, in an obvious attempt at changing the subject.
I felt panic rise up inside me. I didn’t want him to know who I was. I never wanted him to find out. “Uh…no, I’m actually not from Virginia at all,” I said, and began to spout out some lies about my past. I hadn’t planned what to say so I hoped I was at least believable.
“Well, I’m going to get some dinner ready for you. How about we listen to a bit more of the book? If you want, of course?”
“Yeah, I’d love that.”
I gathered the plates and put the audiobook back on, grateful for the distraction. I knew he’d one day ask me about my past and I really didn’t want to lie to him. But at the same time, I also didn’t want him to know the truth. I couldn’t bear the
thought of him knowing who I was. Would he laugh when he discovered that the little ‘clown’ he had laughed at all those years ago was now working for him? I felt shame wash over me as I got started on the food. The thought of letting my younger self down was weighing heavily on me. Had I done the right thing by taking this job or would I live to regret it? I snuck a quick look at Jacob. He was in the living room with his eyes closed, smiling at the audiobook. How was this the same guy?
Chapter 15
Jacob
I woke up that morning feeling strangely refreshed. I realized that not only did I sleep well, but I also didn’t wake up thinking that the blindness was just a nightmare. I made my way to the bathroom and stepped in the shower. It was only when I was out the shower and changed that I realized how normal it all suddenly felt to me. I knew the feeling wouldn’t last, and that I’d move through different emotions throughout the day, but it was good to finally feel normal again. It was a new kind of normal. There was no point wishing my life could be any other way, because it simply would never be. This was the life that I had now, and I had to accept it and make the most of it. I switched the radio on and listened until I heard them say the time. It was still early, so I decided to take a walk to Wagga’s with Tank. It would be my first time walking there by myself. I really hoped that I would be able to do it.
With Tank by my side, I slowly made my way. For the most part, things were good. I knew exactly where I was and where I was going. When I got confused I simply stopped and listened, and soon enough I’d get a clue as to where I was. It took me a long time but I finally made it there. At the counter I placed my order and waited for the coffee to be made. I could hear how differently people acted toward me compared to the way they treated everyone else. In some ways they spoke to me like they would a very old person or a child. It was hard not to get upset. Sometimes I wanted to shout at them and tell them that I was still the same man as before, and that losing my eyesight didn’t change anything. But I had to remind myself that it wasn’t their fault. I’d probably acted the same way when I could see.
“Here’s your coffee, sir,” the boy said as he put the coffee near my hand.
I took the coffee and handed him a bill. I’d sorted all my bills so that I always knew exactly what I had on me. “Keep the change,” I said to him. “So, what did you do with the bookshelf?” I said.
“Uh, sorry?” the boy asked in confusion.
“The bookshelf. It used to be there. It took up the whole wall. But now I don’t see it anymore. What did you do with it?”
“Uh…well…uh…sir, it’s still there,” the boy said. I wondered if he was blushing.
I wanted to keep it going, but I burst out laughing before I could stop myself. “I’m just kidding,” I said. “Sorry…I fear my humor has become very dark since I lost my eyesight,” I said, and then I laughed because I’d just said another joke that I hadn’t meant to say at all.
The boy laughed nervously. “Oh, I’m so glad. I was so nervous there. I had no idea what to say.”
I chuckled. “Sorry about that. Well, I’ll see you around soon. Thanks for the coffee.”
I made my way out the café, feeling pleased with myself. Not only had I made it all the way to Wagga’s, but I’d also ordered a coffee and made some jokes. I felt more confident than ever before. As I got out of the shop, I had a sudden fear that I was going to go the wrong way, and I almost did, but Tank steered me right when I was going to go left, and I realized he was right.
“Thank you, my boy,” I said as I slowly walked home with him.
When I got home, I heard Alice in the kitchen, so I was probably gone a lot longer than I had thought.
“Oh, hi, Jacob. I didn’t realize you were gone. I actually thought you were in your room. I literally just got in. I’m surprised I didn’t see you on the way.”
“Hi, Alice. I went to Wagga’s! Took me forever, but I got there.”
“You did? That’s brilliant, Jacob. Well done.”
“Thank you. Oh, don’t worry about making lunch today. You can just do the dinner. I’m actually going out for lunch with Hayden today.”
“Oh yeah? Are you already sick of my meals?” she asked.
I laughed. “I don’t think that’s even possible.”
“Well, that’s probably a good thing. I wanted to make a big dinner tonight, so this gives me more time.”
“I hope you’re not going to listen to Ready Player One without me?” I said. We were almost at the end of it, and I couldn’t wait to hear how they tied it up.
“No way. I would never listen to it without you,” she said, and I couldn’t help but smile. Things were very different with us now. There was an ease between us that was definitely not there before.
“That’s good to hear. Uh, do you know what time it is?” I said. “Oh, never mind, Hayden is here. His car is so loud. I’ll see you later, Alice. I’m going to leave Tank with you, if that’s okay?”
“Of course that’s okay. You know I love Tank. See you later. I hope your food is horrible,” she teased, and I laughed.
I walked out and heard Hayden close the car door.
“Was my car that loud?” he asked.
“So loud, but it’s a good thing for me. At least this way you can never creep up on me. I’m leaving Tank behind today. You’re my Tank for the day,” I said as I accepted his arm.
“Are you calling me a dog?”
I laughed. “No comment,” I said as he led me to the car.
Once inside the car, I asked Hayden where he was taking me for lunch.
“Hmm, I thought we could grab a beer and a burger at Hudson’s Bar?”
I laughed. “Such a typical ‘man’ thing to do.”
“Well, did you want to go for a salad, then?” he teased.
“I think we’ll just stick to the burgers and beers.”
I hadn’t been to Hudson’s in a very long time, but when we arrived, all the memories came flooding back. I never realized how different the vibe was at bars and cafes, and how easy it would be to identify where I was without sight. I could tell by the music and the smell that we were at Hudson’s.
“Hey, next time how about you don’t tell me where we are going? I’d like to see if I can guess without you telling me.”
“Oh yeah? You think you would’ve known?” Hayden asked.
“I actually do think so, but I’m not sure if it’s just because you told me.”
“Okay, this could be fun,” Hayden said. Then he laughed. “Trust you to make a game out of this. Is this just your way to make me take you for lunch all the time?”
I chuckled. “You can’t blame a guy for trying, hey!”
We placed our orders, and I took a grateful sip of my beer. I used to be more a big drinker before the navy, but after joining, I barely drank. Still, every now and again I couldn’t help but enjoy it. Right now, it tasted great.
“This is nice. Good to get out the house, although you’ll be pleased to hear that I walked to Wagga’s today alone. Well, with Tank of course, but you know what I mean.”
“Seriously? That’s amazing,” Hayden said with genuine surprise and happiness in his voice.
“Yeah. It took me forever. I had actually just gotten home when you showed up, but I’m still glad I did it. I also joked with the poor coffee guy about the wall of books. I asked where they were because I couldn’t see them anymore.”
Hayden burst out laughing. “You didn’t!’ he exclaimed.
I chuckled. “I sure did.”
“That poor guy.”
“Yeah, I know. Anything to amuse myself, huh?”
“Ah, you crack me up. So, how are things going with Alice? Has it gotten easier?”
“Yeah, it’s a lot better. I like having her around.”
“So it’s not awkward?”
“It was at first,” I admitted. “But it’s gotten much better, and we’ve gotten into a nice rhythm and routine. She brought an audiobook in, so we listen to it wh
ile she cooks. Have you ever listened to one before? It’s amazing. Way better than actually reading a book.”
“Oh wow, that’s cool. I never even thought of that. Hey, Alice sounds interesting. I like that she came up with that idea. Although, it depends what you’re listening to. Don’t tell me it’s some soppy romance.”
“Ready Player One. Have you heard of it?”
“Have I heard of it? I’ve read it twice!”
“What? Are you serious? I didn’t peg you as a big reader.”
“Ah, I’m more than just a pretty face, you know. It’s a great book.”
I held up my hand. “Don’t say anything! We haven’t finished it yet.”
“Hurry up and finish it soon then so that we can talk about it.”
I laughed. “I would be listening to it right now, but instead I chose to go out for lunch with you.”
“Ah, I’m so honored. Well, Jacob, I have to say, I’m impressed. You’re walking to Wagga’s on your own, you’re listening to audiobooks, you have your own chef, and you have your handsome best friend taking you out for lunch. Sounds like you’re doing pretty well.”
I chuckled. “What can I say? My life is pretty sweet right now.” It wasn’t true, and he knew it. While I was feeling better about everything, it still hurt that I couldn’t see the expression on his face right now. It still hurt that I would never see him get old and that I would forever have to rely on those around me. Even now, when things were great, a part of me wanted to run away from the world and cry. I’d always been stubborn though, and I knew that it was this very stubbornness that was forcing me to go out there and live my life.
“So, are you looking forward to the navy banquet?” Hayden asked.