by Tyler Grey
I was sure that Olive was not impressed with me. I could tell how sad she was that I was acting this way. But, as she promised, she was supporting me. She’d already tried to convince me otherwise, but I’d asked her to please just let me do what I had to do.
The more boxes that got packed and the emptier the house became, the more I could feel my heart breaking. I had to keep reminding myself that I was only doing this to protect my heart. One day, this would all be a lot easier. For now, I just had to keep strong. I had myself, and I had Olive — that was all I needed. Henry would be better off without me. One day, he would realize it, too.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Henry
Shawn stayed with me all Saturday morning. He helped set up my laptop and made me a late breakfast and lunch. It was good to have him there. He told me that he had seen Paisley and that her friend Olive was there with her. He was angry at Paisley, and so was I. But I was also incredibly hurt.
I still couldn’t believe she was acting that way. I wanted to ask her what had changed her mind. Before my accident, the two of us were getting along so well. I had a feeling she wouldn’t tell me, though. I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to know the truth. Knowing that she was just willing to give up on everything so easily was a huge blow to me. Especially after everything that I had done for her.
Shawn wanted to know everything that was going on, but I told him that I didn’t want to talk about it. He brought his own laptop, and the two of us spent the whole day working. He wanted to stay the whole weekend, but I insisted I was fine. I still had my arms, so even though I had to hobble everywhere, I could still do things on my own. I was still taking pain medication, but my ribs weren’t as bad as they were the first day I’d come home.
Soon, I’d be back to my old self. No, not my old self. A different version of my old self. I would never be my old self again. I’d lost my father and the woman I loved in a very short space of time. Nothing would ever truly be the same again.
It was Sunday now, and I’d spent the entire day holed up in my room. I’d come out only to get something to eat, and I hadn’t once seen Paisley. I knew she was home, though. Her door was always closed when I passed, but I heard it opening and closing when I was back in my room. It was obvious she was avoiding me.
I had no idea when she planned on moving into this new apartment of hers or when she planned on officially leaving work. I figured she’d quit already, and judging by the almost empty house, she obviously also planned on moving out soon.
I only realized that it was Sunday later that day, and I was knocked by a sudden memory of Myra. She’d loved her family so much and had insisted on family dinner together. I had a feeling this was going to be the last Sunday I would ever have with Paisley, so I made a decision to honor Myra’s memory. I made a phone call, and then I went over to knock on Paisley’s door.
She didn’t answer immediately, but when she did, I could see she looked surprised to see me there. “Hi,” she said.
“Paisley, it’s Sunday.”
“Yeah?”
“Sunday is a family tradition. It might not mean anything to you, but it means something to me, and it meant something to our parents. I’m going downstairs to set the table, and I’ve ordered some food. Because, let’s be honest, I’m not in any state to cook us a big meal. You’re more than welcome to join me. Everything should be ready in about half an hour.”
Without saying anything more, I turned around and slowly made my way down the stairs. I was getting better at most things, but going down the stairs always took me the longest. When I eventually got down, I set the table. I had no idea if Paisley was even going to join me, but I set a place for her regardless. I was pretty sure I’d be eating alone, but I knew I had done the right thing. Paisley might have forgotten what it was to be kind, but I would never forget what Myra had done for myself and my father, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to stop being nice.
The knock on the door arrived moments later, and the delivery man handed me the pizza boxes. I knew exactly what sort of pizza Paisley liked, and the knowledge that I knew her so well saddened me. I put the boxes on the table, poured us each a drink, and sat down. Paisley wasn’t there, but I wasn’t going to bring her damn pizza up for her. She could come and get it herself when she wanted. I lifted the lid off my own box and pulled out a piece.
Then, just as I was about to take a bite, Paisley walked down the stairs. I hated that she looked so beautiful. A small memory came flooding to the forefront of my mind, of her in her small denim shorts with the big hole in the front showing her red underwear. I tried to push it to the back of my mind. I didn’t want to think of her in that way. She looked at the table, and a small, but sad smile flashed across her face. She took a seat.
“Thank you, Henry. This is lovely,” she said.
I nodded. “Sure. Dig in.”
I was hoping she would talk to me, but she didn’t say another word. We both ate in silence, and I wished I had thought to put some music on for some sort of distraction. This was not the sort of Sunday tradition that Myra had wanted for us, and I felt sad at the thought of her looking down on us like this. I wanted to say sorry to her, but it wasn’t my fault.
I still had no idea why Paisley was acting this way towards me. Perhaps I was the one that had always wanted her more. I was about a quarter of the way through my pizza when I finally decided to speak. I hated the silence, and it was only making me angrier.
Ever since I’d come out of the hospital, I could feel the anger brewing inside me, as if it were about to explode. It was not a feeling I was accustomed to. My normal happy-go-lucky self seemed like a thing of the past, and I wasn’t sure if I would ever get that part of me back again.
“So, when are you finishing up at work?” I asked.
She jumped at the sound of my voice and answered nervously. “Uh, I’m not sure. I guess the sooner the better.”
I tried not to flinch at her words, even though I thought I thought they were rather rude. “I agree. Although, I’m wondering if you should finish out the month. I mean, most people give a month’s notice when they decide to leave.”
She looked at me in surprise. “A month?”
I sighed. “No, I’m just kidding. I wouldn’t dare ask you to work out the month. I mean, how horrible for you,” I said with as much sarcasm as possible. “So, seeing as though you own half the company and seeing as though you’re just leaving me in the lurch, I think it’s only fair that you help me find a replacement.” I could hear the bitterness in my voice, and I wished I could find a way of hiding it better. But I had never been good at hiding my emotions.
“You may have made the decision quickly, but it doesn’t mean it’s fair that you leave me without any help.” I looked up at her and noticed how she had stiffened at my words. She seemed like she had a million things she wanted to say, but eventually, she just nodded.
“Sure. I’ll help you find someone else,” she said. “Of course, I will.”
I wanted to scream at her. I wanted to ask her how she could care so little about me. I wanted to ask her if she had no respect for my father, who had been kind enough to give half of his company to a girl he barely knew. He’d done it because he had loved her mother so much.
“You do realize that you only got the damn job because my father wanted so badly to please your mother, don’t you?” The words were out of my mouth before I had the chance to stop them. “That is how much he loved your mother. God, Myra would’ve done anything for you. And, my father would’ve done anything for her. Anything! All they wanted was to see you happy. But you clearly do not care about anyone but yourself.”
I waited for her to say something. To at least defend herself. But she said nothing. She just stared down at her pizza in silence. I wondered if she was crying, but I couldn’t see any tears on her cheeks. It was as if she were dead inside. I couldn’t take it anymore. I stood up.
“I think it’s clear that family dinner time is over. I
hope you enjoyed your pizza, but I think I’m going to eat the rest of mine in my bedroom.”
I took the pizza box in one hand and slowly hobbled up the stairs. I’d left my crunches in my room, so the only way I could get up was to hold onto the railing. It wasn’t as easy to do while holding the pizza, and I knew I was making a fool of myself. I just hoped she wasn’t watching me. It was hard to have the upper hand when you couldn’t even storm out the room.
“Can I help you?” Paisley said after seeing my embarrassing display of trying to get up. Her words surprised me. It was the only bit of empathy I’d heard from her since coming out the hospital.
“I’m fine,” I said without looking at her, and I was glad when she didn’t insist on helping anyway. I wasn’t sure what I would’ve done if she’d held my hand. The two of us hadn’t touched since before the accident, and I wasn’t sure I would be able to take it.
It took a while, but I eventually made my way to my room. My head was pounding, but the pain I felt was no longer from my ribs. I felt like I had let Myra down, and I said a silent apology to her. Then I opened up my laptop and continued with my work.
There was a lot to do, and I was very grateful for it. I sent Paisley an email once I had calmed down a bit. I told her to speak to Jessica and to get hold of the applicants who were interested in the position before she’d gotten the job. I told her that Shawn was taking me to work the following day, but that I expected her to come into work on Tuesday to pack up her things.
I was surprised at how calm I now was, but I knew it was only because I was emailing her instead of talking to her face-to-face. It was always so different when I could actually see her reaction. Or, in this case, her non-reaction. Speaking to Paisley was like speaking to a shell of a person. I expected a reply to tell me that she didn’t want to drive, but she didn’t. Instead, she replied with a short and brief email back, telling me that she would have it all sorted out.
I spent the rest of the evening working, until I could no longer see the screen because I was so tired. Showering was the part of the day that took the longest with my injuries, and I tried not to think about how much easier it would’ve been if Paisley had been there to help me. I’d helped her to heal, so why couldn’t she help me heal? As sad I was to see her go, I also couldn’t wait for it. I would never get better with her around.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Paisley
I drove Henry to work that day, although he told me that I would not have to bring him back home. Shawn was going to help him commute until he could drive again. Today was my last day. I’d had to start driving again. When Henry was in the hospital, I’d taken a cab into work, so today was the first day that I had driven in a long time.
At first, my legs trembled, but I soon found the hang of it again. With a new apartment and a new job coming up, I had to start driving again. It wasn’t easy, and every now and again I thought about what had happened to my mother and Duncan, but I pushed it aside. I had to be strong now — stronger than I had ever been before. Henry and I didn’t say a word to each other the whole way to work, and when we arrived, he refused any help to walk. He had crutches and was getting along a lot better than he had at the start. He told me to please go in without him because he was a bit slower.
“It’s fine. I don’t mind going slowly,” I said.
“Go without me,” he said in a much firmer voice, I scurried on ahead.
Henry had changed in the past week. I’d noticed a big difference in the way he treated me. He’d put up a wall, just as I had, and I could tell that he no longer looked at me with any sort of affection. It was tough to see the look on his face whenever he looked at me, but in a way, it made it easier. It was time for us both to move on.
Jessica jumped up with excitement when she saw Henry. It was his first time back at the office since his accident, and she was all over him. This time, I didn’t mind so much. I was glad that he would have someone at work to attend to his every need. She would be the perfect person for the job, and I knew she would do anything to make him feel better. Perhaps she’d eventually get her wish of having Henry as her boyfriend. The thought saddened me, but I couldn’t expect him to stay single for me. The quicker he moved on, the better.
She had called the three applicants who had wanted the job before me, and only one was still available. Jessica was in a fabulous mood today and was all smiles at the woman who walked through the door. Jessica was nice to me all day, for the first time ever really, and only because it was my last day.
I went to greet the new woman, Tammy, and took her in to see Henry. He told me to stay for the meeting, so I sat down and listened to the two of them speak. I knew he was doing it on purpose, just to hurt me, and how could I blame him? I listened to him talk with Tammy, and gush about how excited he was to have a new assistant. They talked for a long time about the job, while I sat there just nodding politely and talking only when I was spoken to. Tammy seemed none the wiser that there was something going on between Henry and me. She was just excited to be there. At the end of the meeting, he hired her on the spot.
“Really?” She obviously hadn’t been expecting to hear so quickly.
Henry smiled at her. It was his charming smile, the one he had used on me so many times before. It didn’t quite reach his eyes, and there was something lacking from it, but it was still the most beautiful smile in the world. I had to look away because it hurt so much. I could still clearly remember the way he used to look at me.
“Absolutely. You’re perfect for the job. Don’t you think, Paisley? Isn’t she perfect?”
I nodded at her and didn’t look at Henry. “Yeah, perfect.”
“Thank you so much,” she gushed. “I’m so excited.”
“Now, I know this is very short notice, but is there any chance you can start now? Paisley was busy packing up. She’s in quite the rush to leave. Something else came up for her, so the sooner she leaves here, the better. Of course, it is completely up to you, but if you can, I would highly appreciate it.”
“Oh. Wow. Yes, of course. I can definitely start now.”
“Good. Well, Paisley, if you wouldn’t mind helping Tammy out for an hour or so before you leave. Just show the booklet that we had made for you and show her the computer system.”
I smiled tersely. “Absolutely. No problem, at all.”
“Also, do me a favor, won’t you? Make a round of coffees. I wouldn’t ask you, but it’s just so difficult with my leg at the moment.”
I nodded again. “Sure thing, boss.”
“Not your boss anymore,” he said and smiled at me. He was clearly trying to aggravate me.
He was right, though. He wasn’t my boss anymore. He also wasn’t my step-brother. Or my lover. Or even my friend. This was it. The end was almost here for us. After today I would walk out of his life forever.
I had a lump in my throat as I walked out the door. I couldn’t even be angry with him. I was the one who had made this decision. Not him. I had to own that decision and stick to my plan.
I made a round of coffees for everyone, including Tammy, and then sat with her at my old desk to show her how everything worked. I was surprised at how much I knew about the company, and as I ran through everything with her, it was hard to imagine that only a few months ago I’d come in without any knowledge of the place, at all. I had learned so much in such a short space of time.
I realized suddenly that I was going to be sad to leave. I’d actually come to love it in the short time that I was there. And, I had been good at it. Henry had admitted, when things between us were still fine, that I wasn’t going to be an assistant for long. He said I had been too good for the position. Sadly, I would now never know what else could’ve been. Once I went through everything, I went to say my goodbyes.
I popped my head into Henry’s office and looked nervously at him. He looked so attractive at that desk. So handsome. And so very sad. It was hard to know that I had put that sadness in his eyes. One day, he woul
d feel better, and he would be glad that I had walked away. But one day felt like such a long time away now.
I cleared my throat. “Right, well, everything is done. I’ve gone through everything with Tammy, and I’m sure she’ll pick it up quickly enough. She seems very capable. Jessica is being so nice to her, so that helps,” I said and chuckled. I stopped laughing when I saw Henry wasn’t laughing with me. “Uh, I think that is it. Is there anything else you need me to do for you while I’m still here?”
He shook his head. “No, that’s fine. Thanks for going through everything with her. I’m sure she’ll be just fine. Well, thanks for everything, Paisley. Good luck with the new job and enjoy the new apartment.”
“I…” I wanted desperately to say something else. It seemed so horrible to end things in this way, but I didn’t know what to say. I was afraid that if I spoke, I would cry, and I definitely didn’t want him to see me cry. “Okay. Well, good luck to you, too, Henry. Uh, thanks for everything,” I said and walked out.
I said goodbye to the new woman and wished her luck, and then I said goodbye to Jessica, who enveloped me in a big hug as if the two of us were the greatest of friends.
I got into the car and cried. It was the first time I’d cried in a while because I simply hadn’t allowed myself to. But everything had seemed so final in the office, and I now couldn’t stop the tears from falling. I sat in the car for about half an hour, just crying. I had to calm down before driving.
Finally, I made my out of the parking lot for the very last time and headed home. I was already at the house when I realized I didn’t live there anymore. I’d simply driven there on autopilot. I sat outside and stared at the house. I had so many memories in that place. Memories that involved just my mother and I, memories that involved my mother, Duncan, and Henry, and the new memories that just involved myself and Henry. Too many memories. I forced myself to look away and made my way back to my new apartment.