“What? Did something happen that I don’t know about?”
Luke was the first to speak up. “Anna says she’s doing alright. She’s been writing a lot and the books seem to be selling well.”
That didn’t tell me anything about how Harper was. They were all avoiding me and the question.
“What aren’t you telling me?”
Luke started to stutter out a response, obviously not wanting to be the one to say. “Well, you see…well the thing is.” He stopped and rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably.
“What is the thing, Luke?”
“She’s living with someone now.” That slammed into me like a sledgehammer. Spots danced in front of my eyes at the thought of her moving on to someone new. I swallowed down the bile that was threatening to spill free.
“He came into town a little over a month ago and he’s been living with her ever since.” Ryan was the one to lay that little tidbit on me.
“Well, shit. That didn’t take her long,” I sneered.
“It’s not like that, asshole. They aren’t messin’ around. The guy just…he’s just there for her, man. She needed someone and he was there. She saw you at the lake one day and she was trying to hide from you. She slipped and fell in and he saved her,” Logan said.
Logan was normally the asshole of the bunch, so I knew I had to back off when Logan snapped. Shit. She fell in a lake. That girl was trouble. I was worried about someone breaking into her house in the middle of the night. Not her catching hypothermia from lake diving. Then it hit me. All my friends knew for a month and hadn’t said a word. I was dreaming of Harper every night and she had someone new in her life. It didn’t matter if they were just friends. She was with another guy.
“So, what? You guys all knew about this and didn’t have the balls to tell me?” Everyone was silent for a moment. Cole, always the one to speak his mind, was the first to speak.
“We just found out. Well, most of us just found out. Besides, what did you want us to say? You didn’t want her anymore. You threw her away. What good would it do to tell you?”
I stood so fast my chair fell backwards. That was complete bullshit. I didn’t throw her away. I loved her more than anything and we both decided not to stay together.
“Of course I wanted her,” I shouted. “I love her so fucking much that it kills me every day to be away from her. I don’t sleep more than a few hours every night because she isn’t next to me. I didn’t throw her away. We wanted different things and it wouldn’t have worked. I wanted it to, but I couldn’t ask her to give up something she wanted, just to be with me.”
Cole got in my face. “We know you love her, but apparently not enough. When you love someone, you give that person everything. If you aren’t willing to do that, then you never deserved her. Because that woman, she was good to you. She was sweet and caring. She never asked you for anything. You had to practically twist her arm to get her to accept anything from you. So, yeah, you did throw her away. There isn’t one of us here that wouldn’t have given his right arm for the love of a good woman like that.”
And there it was. When I assumed I was doing the right thing by letting her go, my friends all thought I was being a shit bag. Not one of them had my back and I really needed it.
“So who is this guy? Have you checked him out, Sean? Is he a good guy?”
“Yeah, his story checks out. He’s a good guy.”
“We met with them last week,” Ryan said. “He started working for us Monday. He needed a job and the two of them met with us. She didn’t want to cause problems with all of us, so she asked us to hear her out. He’s a good guy and a helluva worker. You have nothing to worry about with this guy. You’d probably like him.”
I huffed out a laugh. “I guess this is what I should have expected. I didn’t really think about her moving on without me. It sucks.”
“They aren’t together,” Luke said.
“No, but it’s not me that’s there for her. Someone else is the one that gets to see her every day. I just…” I scrubbed a hand down my face and stood to get a beer. I popped the top and downed the beer, then went outside and stared at the night sky. It was finally hitting me that she was really gone. I had been working so hard to not think about her that I totally missed the fact that she would eventually move on with life, because that’s when it became real.
I felt a hand on my shoulder and that show of support almost sent me over the edge. Moisture built in my eyes and I blinked it back to keep from breaking down. That horrible pain I felt the night she left was back. I rubbed my chest hoping to make it go away, but it didn’t. Something had to change or I would go crazy. I couldn’t keep living with this pain, but I didn’t know how to make it go away either.
“Just so you know, she’s not doing any better than you are. She’s hurting just the same and this guy is just holding her together. He makes the day easier for her, but that doesn’t mean she’s living.”
I nodded, but couldn’t think of anything to say. Ryan went back inside and I stayed outside staring at the sky. Maybe eventually I would figure out what to do.
✯✯✯✯✯
A few weeks later, I was at The Pub with the guys having a beer. We were shooting pool when a stick thin blonde woman with huge boobs walked over to me. She had two beers in her hand and handed one over to me. I didn’t take it, but took a drink of my own beer.
“Hi. Do you need me to hold your stick for you?”
I spit my beer all over her. She did not just say that, did she?
She batted her caked on lashes at me and pressed her shiny, red lips together. All I could think of was how different she was from Harper. Harper never wore that much makeup and she never looked so fake.
“Aww, you got beer all over my chest. I think you should lick it up. No point in wasting good beer.” She thrust her chest out at me and ran her tongue over her lips. I gagged a little because this woman obviously thought she was sexy, but she reminded me of a blow up doll.
“Um, I’m good. Why don’t you just head on back to the ladies room and get yourself cleaned up.” She ran a manicured finger down my chest and then brazenly grabbed my cock. I didn’t feel a thing. I couldn’t get it up for her if she was the last person on earth.
“Why don’t you come with me and I’ll take care of this for you.” She was rubbing me and trying to make me hard, but it wasn’t happening. “It’s not really that small, is it? Or do I just need to try another approach?”
“Darlin’, he only stands at attention for the real deal. I’m afraid your fake tits aren’t gonna do a thing for him. Now, please remove your hand from my cock and go find someone else to fuck.”
I made a move to turn around, but she made a last ditch effort and grabbed my arm. She flung herself at me and wrapped her arms around my neck, her lips pressing to my mouth. I was stunned for a second, but then shoved her away from me and wiped the nasty lipstick from my mouth. When I looked up, Harper was standing in the doorway with tears in her eyes and a pained expression on her face. Anger swept over me that this woman had inadvertently caused Harper to think I would move on to a slut. I moved towards her, but Sean caught my arm.
“Let her go, man. Drew’s got her.” I shot Sean a withering glare at the mention of Drew. “Just let her calm down and then you can explain what happened.”
I sulked in the corner, drinking the rest of the night. I decided that the next day I would go to her house and apologize for what she saw and explain the situation. Sebastian gave me a ride home, seeing as how I was now thoroughly tanked. As I stood in the doorway of a house that used to be so full of life, all I felt was loneliness. This house no longer brought me peace because Harper wasn’t in it. I imagined us at Christmas opening our presents, but then the memories of her leaving invaded my mind. I didn’t know if I could keep coming back here. I was either going to have to sell the place or find a way to make peace with Harper’s memory.
The next day, I stopped by Harper’s and walked to
the front door. There was no time like the present, so I knocked and after a minute, Drew answered the door in a towel. Anger filled my insides as he stood there with a cock grin on his face. I had waited too long and now she had moved on.
“Where’s Harper,” I grumbled through clenched teeth.
“She can’t come to the door right now. She’s….occupied at the moment.”
Before I had a chance to think better of it, my fist was flying through the air. I landed a few good punches to his face before he got the upper hand. He maneuvered himself so that he caught my wrist and torqued my arm up behind his back. This guy fought amazingly well for being dressed only in a towel.
“I let you get a few shots in, but that’s enough of that shit.” He released me and shoved me towards the door. “Harper isn’t here right now.”
“If she’s not here, then why did you make me think you two were just upstairs fucking?” I spat back at Drew.
“Call it revenge for last night. She was heartbroken.”
“I didn’t do anything. That slut came up to me and just grabbed me.”
Drew just shook his head. “Dude, you don’t get it. She didn’t think that you were doing anything with her. She was heartbroken because she saw you. Now she’s gone.”
“Gone where?” Panic clawed at my throat. I didn’t know how to fix things with her, but I couldn’t let her go either.
“She went to visit her dad in England. Didn’t say when she was coming home.”
“Fuck. I need to see her. Where did she go in England?”
“Calm down. You need to let her go right now and be alone. She needs this, so don’t take it away from her.”
I started to pace the living room. “How do I know if I’m ready to give her what she wants? I feel like I just keep thinking I can, but I always go back to thinking that letting her go was best. Shit, and if I fuck it up again, she’ll never take me back.” I stopped and looked at Drew. “What do I do?”
“How the fuck should I know? I’m not your therapist. If you need to lay your head down on a pillow and talk it out, look in the yellow pages. But I will tell you this, if you aren’t one hundred percent certain that you can give her everything, then you keep your mouth shut.”
I headed back to my place, trying to figure out what I needed to do. I went to work, went home, and tried to sleep. I got Drew’s number from Ryan and called Drew every other day to see if he had heard from Harper, but every time his answer was no.
Three weeks passed and I was going out of my mind. I needed to talk to Harper and see if I still had a chance with her. I had come to the conclusion that I would give anything to have Harper back in my life. I would have kids with her if it meant getting her back. I needed her like I needed air to breath. I couldn’t promise I would make a good dad, but I was willing to try.
Luke and Anna had their kid a few days ago. It was a little girl and I couldn’t believe that Harper had missed it. I really expected her to be back for that. More than anything, I just wanted her home for myself. I was over at Luke and Anna’s, helping to build the back deck. Anna had wanted it so that she could sit out on the back porch with the baby in the summer. It had gotten pushed to the back burner, so all the guys went over to get as much done today as possible. By the look of things, it should be built today and just need to be stained another day.
I was nailing down a board when I heard her voice. Everything else in the world stopped and she was all that existed. Except for the hammer that came smashing down on my thumb. Had I been paying attention, I would have known that my finger was not a nail.
Swearing, I stood and stuck the tip of my thumb in my mouth to try to lessen the pain. I could see Harper inside with Anna, cooing over the new baby. She looked absolutely radiant. Traveling had really agreed with her. Screw the deck. I needed to talk to her. I walked inside and she totally ignored me.
“Hey, pretty girl. How are you?” She didn’t look up at me. She just stared at the baby and smiled.
“Hi, Jack. I’m good. You are so pretty. Yes you are. You are the prettiest little girl I have ever seen little Lila Rose. Auntie Harper is going to spoil you and give you little kisses all the time. Yes I will.”
She was walking with the baby and bouncing her gently. She was a natural. Why had I never wanted kids? It would have been different with Harper. I had been standing there staring for about five minutes when I finally came back to my senses. I was just about to ask her to talk for a minute when she said, “I have to go. I have a date tonight, but I’ll come over and tell you about it tomorrow.”
She gave Anna a kiss on the cheek and left the house. I stood there dumbfounded when Luke came up behind me. “Yep, she’s back and totally different. You’ve got your work cut out for you.” I gave him a slap on the back and walked away.
A date huh? Two could play that game. I spent the next twenty minutes trying to pry out of Anna where Harper was meeting her date. Then I asked Logan if he knew anyone I could take out at the last minute. Logan just smirked at me and gave me a number. I called and asked the woman to go to dinner with me and told her I would pick her up at six o’clock. Game on.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Harper and Jack
I received a text on my way home from the airport from a guy I met on the plane home from England. The encounter was brief, but he seemed nice enough and he was a doctor. He asked for my number and I had given it.
I had done a lot of thinking in England and decided that if I was ever going to get over Jack, I was going to have to move on. That meant I was going to have a one night stand. There was no way I could handle another relationship right now, so what better way to move on? Plus, I was in a foreign country and I would never have to see said person again.
William was very sweet and pretty good in bed, but I had ended up crying after sex and freaked the poor man out. He had dressed in record time and was gone before I even had time to apologize. So that didn’t go so well, but the rest of the trip was a great refresher for me. I came back with a new game plan: Act like Jack doesn’t affect me anymore. It was a really solid plan and well thought out. Right.
Anyway, Dr. Dan had texted me when I was driving home and asked me to dinner. I agreed even though I wasn’t in the mood. I almost changed my mind and told him I was too tired, but then I walked through the door and who was there? Jack. I tried out my new plan of basically ignoring my feelings for him and thought I did a pretty good job. Things were going well, but I really couldn’t stay and have him stare at me. When I said that I had a date, I didn’t miss the shocked look on his face. Score one for me.
So here I was, on my way to a restaurant to have dinner with a man I really had no interest in. At least I was getting a hot meal out of it. I walked into the restaurant and told the hostess what name the reservation was under and followed the hostess to my seat. Dan stood and grabbed me by the arms and laid a harsh kiss on my mouth. Instantly, I disliked this guy. I pulled back right away and tried to compose my frazzled nerves.
“Um. I don’t think we’re there quite yet.”
“I’m sorry, Harper. I was just so excited to see you that I got a little carried away.” It was sweet and a little weird that he was so excited. I shrugged it off as nerves.
“It’s alright, Dan. Let’s just,”
“Dr.” Dan interrupted me and I looked at him in confusion.
“Excuse me?”
“You called me Dan, but I prefer to be called Dr. Dan.”
“Um, but we aren’t in a medical office.” He moved his head from side to side as if he was considering something.
“I know, but it’s my title, so just..”
I cleared my throat and then ran my tongue over my teeth, as if to clean off the disgust of saying Dr. Dan in a private setting.
“Anyway, Dr. Dan, should we see what’s good here tonight?”
I opened the menu and wondered if I should even stay for dinner. This was really weird. Okay, so he likes to be called Dr. Dan. Maybe it just
makes him feel better about himself.
“I hear that oysters are a great appetizer. Apparently, they are quite the aphrodisiac.”
He was looking at me with creepy bedroom eyes and I felt a shiver snake up my spine. The look of disgust on my face was evident, but he didn’t seem to notice.
“I don’t eat fish. I think I’ll order the chicken. So tell me Dr. Dan, what kind of medicine do you practice?”
He perked up and set down his menu. “I’m a podiatrist.”
“Oh, a foot doctor.”
“Not just a foot doctor. We work with so much more than feet. Your ankles and your lower legs are also included. Many people don’t realize that feet are the most important part of your body. Why, if you don’t have good structure at the bottom of your body, your upper half can’t function properly.”
Well, you’re body isn’t going to function at all if I cut your heart out.
“Pardon me? I didn’t catch that because you were mumbling.”
Shit. Apparently I didn’t just say my thoughts out loud in front of Jack. It also extended to idiots. Speaking of Jack, he was across the room at a table with a blonde woman. And she was running her foot up his leg! Dr. Dan started snapping his fingers in front of my face and I had a hard time tearing my eyes away from my sexy ex.
“Sorry, I was just saying that I always thought the heart was the most important part of the body.”
“Oh, goodness, no!” And so it went, on and on until the waitress arrived to take our orders.
✯✯✯✯✯
I walked into the restaurant and was seated next to my date. Great. Another blonde bimbo. Leave it to Logan to set me up with someone totally unbelievable as a potential date.
“Hi, I’m Jack.” I extended my hand to her and she placed the tips of her fingers in my hand and did something that resembled a shake. Then she giggled. Fucking giggled. It was worse when she spoke though because it came out all nasally with a Queens accent.
Jack (For The Love Of A Good Woman Book 1) Page 18