Shymers

by Jen Naumann

  “Sometimes they come down here to check on the air system and make sure everything is working. But we can come back another night. We can come back as often as you like,” I say, wanting more than anything to see her happy again.

  I am willing to do whatever she wants, as long as it involves the two of us being alone together. I hope over time she will want to spend as much time with me as I want to with her.

  Her face is illuminated once again by her smile, making my stomach roll in excitement.

  * * *

  We sneak down into the basement together every night to study the book. I tell her the stories my father told me, and she throws in stories from her family with the same excited rush. She becomes so comfortable with me that she sometimes touches my arm as she speaks, or pushes my shoulder playfully when I make her laugh.

  The nightly ritual is the highlight of every day. I can’t wait to spend the stolen moments alone with Olive. The more days that go by and the more time we spend together, the more it almost literally hurts when we are apart. I can’t get enough of her and find any excuse to brush her hair, touch her hand, or lean in close.

  Staying awake during lessons becomes difficult, however, and I often catch myself drifting into a sleep filled with dreams of holding Olive in my arms. Zeke’s suspicious glares have become more frequent and I fear he knows I am up to something. As difficult as the task will be, I may have to try to show less interest in Olive whenever he’s around. It may be necessary to keep her safe. Zeke has told me straight out he doesn’t approve of the way she openly talks against the government.

  One night as I sit next to Olive on the cool floor of the basement, my shoulders pressed up against hers and the back of her hand resting against my thigh, a small piece of paper slips from beneath the pages of the book. Olive’s slim fingers wrap around the paper and she passes it over to me.

  “What do you think it is?” she asks with the level of excitement I crave.

  I shrug and take it from her, letting my fingers brush against hers. Handwritten notes are not as common as they were in the old days, so I figure it must be something from my grandfather.

  Olive looks on with a giant grin as I unfold the paper. When the handwriting is revealed to me, my stomach drops.

  The note is from my father.

  My hands tremble as my eyes pass over the letter that was quite obviously left for me to find after he was gone:

  My dear son,

  Your mother is going to tell you not to run. It’s only because she’s afraid. She wants you to live your life happily more than anything, and that certainly won’t happen if you stay in Society, in a horrible orphanage.

  I wish I could have somehow given you more time on this earth, or at least given you a different life away from the mixed up ways of our government. But we both know it’s too late for that. Still, it’s not too late for you to experience freedom. If you go to the edge of the Future district, you will find Rebels who will help you cross the border safely. You must go at night, and you must go alone. Be quick about it, Harrison. Remember what this book has taught you about the old world and life beyond Society. I love you, son.

  Be safe.

  I draw in a deep breath. My father wanted me to run. Why didn’t he have the courage to tell me this before he died? Was he afraid I would run away before they were gone?

  I spent two years alone in this orphanage, trying to honor my mother’s last request. It’s no one’s fault but my own that I didn’t look through the book sooner. If it weren’t for Olive, I probably never would have found the note.

  All at once, a new dread fills me. My father told me I had to leavealone. How could I possibly leave Olive? She is close enough to Bree and Kai that she would probably be okay without me. But I told her we were friends, and I promised myself I wouldn’t hurt her anymore. I know she doesn’t want to be here either.

  I look down at the folded paper resting in my lap. A tear drop now blurs a portion of the note. I spring to my feet and wipe my eyes with the back of my hand. Did Olive see me crying?

  Her fingers reach up to coil around my hand. “What’s wrong, Harrison? Are you okay?”

  I pull my hand from her reach and look away. “I have to go.”

  Olive

  9 – Are You Sure About This?

  Time passes, as it always does, and soon it has been an entire month since I was torn from my home in the Free Lands. Each day I become more restless, hoping to hear something about my mother. From what Kai and Bree have told me about suspension, the chances of anything like that happening are slim, but I can’t seem to help myself from wishing it all the same.

  When I can’t sleep at night, I wonder if maybe my mother was telling me to run from this place, this life. If it weren’t for Harrison, Bree and Kai, I would have tried to find a way to go back to the Free Lands by now. But my new friends make everything more tolerable and I don’t think I could leave them behind.

  Harrison and I have become inseparable since the first night he showed me his grandfather’s book. Each day I anxiously wait for midnight to roll around so we can sit together in the dark basement, completely alone. He has even opened up and told me all about his family and how he felt most of his life, knowing they were all going to die without him.

  Things changed the night before, however, with the discovery of a note in his grandfather’s book. He wouldn’t tell me what it said or who it was from, but before he ran off, I saw tears in his eyes.

  He wasn’t at breakfast this morning. I passed him on the shuttle, but he wouldn’t even look my way. I can’t stand the thought of him ignoring me again like he did when we first met. Now that I’m getting to know him and even trust him, I need him in my life—this life that was totally unbearable until he gave me his friendship.

  When Bree and I arrive at our designated spot for lunch, it feels like any other day until I realize Kai is missing. She’s usually the first one here.

  “Where’s Kai?” I ask.

  The boy named Charley is the first to look up at me, or at least I think. He has long dark hair that always seems to be in his eyes or brushing against his button of a nose, so it’s hard to tell. “They caught her smoking at the orphanage. She was taken to suspension.”

  I choke on a sob. Kai has a pure hatred for suspension—it took her parents away from her and was the very reason she landed in the orphanage.

  Harrison’s eyes lock with mine. His face is frozen, like he is debating whether or not to say something to try to comfort me. But he wasn’t raised to do such a thing. His sympathetic eyes give the apology he isn’t able to say out loud.

  Bree looks up at me with recognition of my pain reflected in her own eyes. While the others at least appear surprised by this bit of information, they don’t say anything. Within minutes the majority of the group is engaged in a totally different conversation.

  Our friend has gone to live out the rest of her life locked away. Why isn’t anyone crying, or yelling?

  I glance at Harrison again. He is still unmoving.

  “I have to…go,” I say suddenly, spinning back around toward the building.

  My steps are uneven and slow as I walk away, my chest heavy with realization of what has happened. Kai is gone. I may never see her again. The pain is too much like it was the day Taylor left. The air around me swirls in a violent vortex, choking me.

  I can’t stay here any longer.

  I have to leave.

  If my mother is still alive, I have to see her first. I want her arms around me, even if it’s for the last time. I don’t even care if I am caught trying to pass back into the Free Lands. All I know is I can’t do this anymore.

  I won’t live this way.

  The warm air is suffocating, threatening to drag me to the ground. Bree calls my name as I continue stumbling underneath the canopies. My eyes water over to the point that I can hardly see anything in my path. When I hear quick footsteps growing closer, I whirl around to tell my friend to leave me alone.
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  But it’s not Bree.

  Harrison stands just inches away, breathless. His wide eyes are filled with the small glimmer of hope I have seen on and off over the time I’ve come to know him. Between the intensity of the moment and his striking looks, I want to reach up to touch his face, to feel his skin underneath my fingertips.

  His gaze shifts for a moment, as if he is unsure of what to say. After consideration, he licks his lips and swallows. “Let’s do it,” he whispers. “Let’s run away together.”

  I turn my head to the side and blink a few times. “What?”

  “I know you think I’ve been acting like a total jerk ever since we met. That’s just because it’s how I’m expected to be. Cold and unfeeling. It’s exactly how Society wants us Shymers to act—like we don’t care about one another and like we don’t matter. I may have lived a different life than what you had in the Free Lands, but my family believed in the same things as yours. I don’t want to live this way anymore. It isn’t right.”

  I finally find my breath. “I don’t know what to say, Harrison. I wasn’t expecting anything quite like this. What made you change your mind?”

  The first full-on, genuine smile comes to his face, his blue eyes elevating to an even brighter level. His dark eyelashes brush his cheeks, and a small dimple puckers beside his lips. The transformation is breathtaking.

  “That note we found last night was from my father. He said my mother told me not to run only because she was afraid. But she also wanted me to be happy. My father told me to run, despite my mother’s fears. It’s what my parents really wanted me to do, Olive—to run away from here. It’s whatI want to do.”

  “Are you sure about this?” I ask, holding my breath. Can this really be happening? Will Harrison and I really run away together?

  He shrugs, the lovely smile still illuminating his face. “I don’t have anything more to lose at this point. My family is gone. I don’t have much longer to live. I may as well try to mark some of the things off my playlist. They aren’t going to happen as long as I’m living at that horrible orphanage.”

  I have to push my lips together to keep from grinning like a fool. “I thought you said you didn’thave a playlist.”

  He shrugs, his eyes ablaze with mischief. “I may have been keeping one in my mind.”

  “What about Bree?” I ask, looking off to where our friend watches us with the most puzzled expression. “Do you think she would come, too?”

  His smile fizzles away. “She loves her family, Olive. I don’t know if she would want to leave them.”

  “We could ask her though, right? What about the others?” My heart pounds wildly at the thought of fleeing Society with my friends—especially with Harrison. It pains me to think of having to leave any of them behind, especially after what happened to Kai.

  He turns to glance back at the group of Shymers. “We can’t invite them all, Olive. For one thing, it will be dangerous to travel with that many people. Most of them would probably rather stay with their families anyway. If they were to even mention our plan to their parents, we could be reported.”

  I suck in my breath. “What would happen to us?”

  His eyes turn even warmer now, reminding me of how my mother would look at me when I was hurt or sick. “They could very easily sentence us to death, Olive. Why do you think so many people continue to live here, even if they don’t agree with the way Society handles things? Rebellion is not allowed.”

  I had already guessed this, but hearing the words brings a sickening sensation raging through me. “I don’t care,” I say. “I’d rather be dead than continue living like this.”

  “Don’t say that,” he tells me quickly. Then, “You can ask Bree, but no one else.”

  I nod slowly, the sadness settling into my bones. I remind myself Bree is the only one other than Kai who has shown me any real kindness. And Harrison is right—as little as I know about the others, they all may be perfectly happy in Society. They were raised this way and probably don’t know any different. Still. In the past week I have noticed many of them have started to smile a little more, and seem a little less sullen.

  Harrison leans his chest against mine. A completely new sensation runs through my stomach, like something inside wants to break its way out. I wonder how he would react if I were to wrap my arms around him, the way my parents sometimes did.

  “We have to come up with some kind of plan,” he whispers into my ear.

  “Pl-an?” I stutter. I can’t find my breath to say anything more.

  “We can’t just walk out of Society unseen. We have to go when it’s dark. We’ll need a supply of food and water in case we can’t find any right away.”

  My airway becomes tight when I concentrate on the warmth of his breath against my ear as he speaks. My eyes flash down to our bodies. I am unable to contain my excitement much longer.

  “There are creeks everywhere in the Free Lands,” I whisper. “Water won’t be a problem, but we have to watch for soldiers. I know how to fish and there are other things in the forest we can cook.”

  Suddenly, his hands cradle my arms. “We’re really going to do this, Olive.”

  I swallow the nerves that leap into my throat. “Harrison…before we leave, I want to try to get in to see my mother.”

  I look up at him to find his smile is wiped away, replaced with a deep frown. His hold on my arms tightens. “Are you crazy? They won’t just let you walk in to see her. You have no idea what that place is like, Olive. Something like that would be far too dangerous.”

  “She may be dead by now, but if sheis alive, I can’t leave until I say goodbye. Please, Harrison. Will you help me at least try to find a way for me to get in to see her?”

  He puffs out a deep breath of air and looks beyond me to where the turbines spin in the hot afternoon sun. It’s funny how those giant metal poles can make a person feel so small and insignificant, like an ant or even a speck of dirt. Ironically, it’s the same way Society makes Shymers feel.

  His hands still hold onto my arms. Surges of excitement trail across my skin from his touch. Is this what my parents felt when they were together? Is this the same kind of feeling the girl in my grandmother’s book described for the love of her life?

  “Please?” I ask with my voice still soft.

  His eyes study mine. I try to imagine what his life must have been like. What if my parents hadn’t kept me hidden in the Free Lands and my mother hadn’t been the kind and loving person she is? If she really believed I was a Shymer, would she still have raised me and loved me despite what Society expected of her?

  “It means everything,” I say, my eyes filling with tears.

  Harrison nods once, firm and quick. “Okay, we can try. But I can’t promise we will get in, and I won’t let you put yourself in danger.”

  “That’s all I wanted to hear,” I whisper, smiling. “Thank you.”

  * * *

  At the close of lessons, Bree and I walk together to the shuttle station as always. By the odd glimpses she keeps throwing my way, I must be acting just as giddy as I’m feeling inside. The speech I plan to give her runs through my head a thousand times before we finally take our seats in the front of the shuttle.

  Just as it jets forward, I pull her to me. “Harrison and I are planning to run away.”

  She leans away from me with her eyes wide and her jaw dropped. “What? Why? Where are you going?”

  I lean into her again. “Bree, life shouldn’t be like this. In the Free Lands we were really, truly happy. Harrison thinks there are more islands out there that are safe from Society and the government. We wouldn’t have to live in fear or even in shame the way we do here. We could go through your playlist before you die---“

  She cuts me off. “Wait. You expectme to come with you?”

  I hold a finger to my lips, begging her to be quiet. A few kids look in our direction for a fleeting moment. They don’t seem particularly interested in what we’re saying, however, and turn back a
way. “You can’t tell anyone else about this, Bree. You don’t have to come with us. I’m not going to make you. Of course I would love it if youdid. You would love the life that is out there, beyond Society’s borders.”

  Panic fills her eyes. “What about my family?”

  Dropping her arm, I sigh. “You would have to leave them behind. You would have to say your goodbyes to them a little earlier than you originally planned.”

  Settling back into her seat, she closes her eyes. I turn to find Harrison watching us closely. He tilts his head and raises his eyebrows as if to ask, “Well?”

  I shrug in response and turn back to Bree. Little streams of tears are flowing down her cheeks and into her hair. “I’m sorry,” I say gently. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I just want to give you the opportunity to get away from all of this.”

  Opening her eyes, she turns to me. “How long do I have to decide?”

  “Not long. There’s something else you need to know,” I say, bracing myself for her reaction. “Harrison said he would help me try to find a way to visit my mother before we leave.”

  She rolls her head back, letting it drop on the seat behind her. “You areinsane. I should have known since the first time I met you that you’re not right in the head. All the air you sucked in while in the Free Lands must have killed some of your brain cells or something. Olive, they won’t just let youwalk in to suspension.”

  “There must besome way I can see her, to tell her goodbye.”

  She turns to me, her expression soft. “I’m not saying this to be mean, Olive, but you don’t even know if she’s still alive. She may very well be dead by now.”

  I shake my head. “I know, but I think she is still alive. Either way, I have to find out.”

  A hiccup of a laugh bursts from her lips. “How do think you’re going to sneak into a suspension facility? Do you have any idea what kind of mess you’re throwing yourselfand Harrisoninto? Do you know what they would do if they caught you?”