Rough Ride (Riding with Honor)

by Rebecca Avery

  Now she could take her laptop with her and hopefully be able to keep up on things while they were away. After finishing up packing what she needed from the office she and Gretchen headed for the garage.

  As the guys loaded the storage area of the camper, she went inside to look around. Lilly took note of things she would need to get for the trip as she went through the cupboards and storage areas. She was excited about the trip but was still a little leery of the drive, especially now that she had met Gretchen.

  As she exited the camper and went into the garage area where the guys stood around talking about the trip and planning out stopping points, she noticed Bobby staring at her. The look in his eyes was hard to read as he wore his sexy dark scowl. She decided to call it a day so she would have time to pack for the trip. Then she could shop for the trip tomorrow.

  “You should bring your things by tomorrow evening around seven so we can load them in the camper. I will pick you up Monday morning and we will all meet up here and leave out as soon as possible,” Bobby said to her.

  “Sure, no problem,” she smiled at them and then headed to her car.

  As she pulled out of the parking lot, she could tell they were talking about her because all three adults looked at her as did Gretchen. The child was like a sponge, soaking up everything this bunch of bikers said. She couldn’t help but wonder about the child’s mother. Something told her this would be a trip she would never forget.

  Chapter Five

  As they pulled into the parking lot of the shop early on Monday morning, she was shocked by the amount of bikes and riders that were gathered there. She had thought it would just be the guys from the shop and her, but parked along the street were three other RVs. Along with Tommy, Dickie and Chuck’s bikes she counted nearly a dozen more motorcycles.

  The bikes were all parked in a row. Men and even a few women, were standing around in the parking lot talking to Tommy and Chuck. Dickie was walking around with Gretchen on his shoulders. The child wore jean shorts and a tank top along with her star sunglasses and ponytail.

  Most of the men wore leather jackets or vests, some of which were obviously from the same motorcycle club as their jackets had matching patches. She was surprised to see the shop’s logo and name on the back of each employee’s vest and wondered why Bobby didn’t wear one. Bobby pulled alongside the other bikes and killed the engine.

  Suddenly shy when the entire group seemed to collectively look at Bobby and then her, she got off the bike and headed towards Dickie. He lifted Gretchen down from his shoulders and stood her on the ground near where Lilly stood.

  Turning to Bobby he said, “The camper is all filled up and ready to go. I put a walkie-talkie in the cab of the RV for Miss Lilly if she needs anything or for when she gets low on fuel. I double checked that everything is secure in the front and back so we’re ready to roll when you are.”

  Tommy stood up on a five gallon bucket and announced that the next stop would be at a campsite near Baton Rouge. He asked everyone to make sure that each person took a printout which showed the route they planned to take. Then he proceeded to announce that they planned to win the competition with the custom design bike that they had built. A cheer went up and soon people were loading up on their bikes.

  Bobby pulled a plastic bag out of his saddle bags and held it up. “Gretchen, Gran said these are for you and she better get every one of them back.”

  He handed the bag to her and after looking inside she said, “Thanks Uncle Bobby.” He looked over at Lilly and grinned. This was a new look she hadn’t seen on him. It wasn’t the sexy looks he normally gave her or even the hot smirks or grins. This one looked… mischievous?

  Then after hugging him around his legs, Gretchen ran to the RV, climbed into the back and fastened herself into her seat. As she started for the driver’s side of the RV, Bobby caught her arm.

  “If you need anything use the walkie-talkie,” he said as his face suddenly grew very serious. “Tommy wired it into Dickie’s helmet so he can respond to you. Don’t let the RV get below a quarter of a tank since we will have to be selective about where we stop due to its size.”

  Was he worried about her? His eyes said that he was. She looked down at where his hand gently held her arm. Her skin tingled all around where his fingers rested. Why did he affect her so much with just a look or a touch?

  Looking back up at him she said, “Ok, but don’t worry. We’ll be fine. It may not be my car, but I’ve driven long distances before.”

  After a few seconds one of his slow sexy grins slid across his face. “I think you’ll enjoy this ride.”

  There it was again, his words with double meanings. Heat and something else shone in his eyes as he looked at her and she looked away before her face revealed the images flowing through her mind. God she had to stop letting his words do this to her…

  As she climbed into the RV and started it up, the group of bikers took off from in front of the building along with one of the campers while the other two RVs followed behind her. At least traveling in a group she wouldn’t get lost in this huge camper with a foul mouthed four year old. She could hear Gretchen wrestling around in the bag that Bobby had given her, but it wasn’t until they got on the highway and her nerves calmed down some that she heard it… ridiculously old, and loud, country western music.

  Five hours later when they stopped for lunch she watched as Bobby approached the RV. It took all her restraint to keep from pummeling him. If she never heard another Tammy Wynette, Dolly Parton or Loretta Lynn song it would be too soon. Though it kept Gretchen entertained as she sang along to every song, five hours of it was cruel and unusual punishment. The smile that he shot at her as he approached the driver door explained his grin before they had pulled out that morning.

  As he opened her door she looked down at him and said, “I hate you”

  He laughed so loudly that the other bikers in the group who were waiting at the entrance to the restaurant stopped talking and stared at him. She couldn’t help but laugh with him. She hadn’t heard him laugh so heartily before and somehow it thrilled her. That was until she noticed the group also looking at her. Ignoring their stares he hefted himself up until he was leaning over her in order to see the controls on the dash.

  “We’ll fill up before we hit the highway again. You’ve done real well so far,” he said. Then turned his face until he was in her space and leaned in close. She thought he meant to kiss her until he finished saying, “She’ll be ready for a nap after lunch and this button here will make it stop.”

  Her eyes followed his finger which pointed at a button indicating the power to the radio in the back. Laughing again he jumped down out of the cab of the camper and held the door as she climbed out. Her back and knees were stiff from having driven for so many hours non-stop. She walked around outside until Gretchen came running out to tell her that their table was ready.

  The next five and a half hours of the trip went much smoother as Gretchen napped for a couple of them. After her nap she was content to stare out the window and wave at those of the group on bikes and then watched a movie on the fold down media center for the last stretch of the trip. Lilly felt as though she had been beaten with a stick and this was only day one.

  After eating the fast food burger and fries that Dickie provided her with, she was ready for bed. Gretchen had taken to whining and crying with little provocation so Lilly asked her if she wanted to take a shower and then curl up in the back together and watch a movie. The child finally agreed and they were snuggled in just as the sun was starting to set. Gretchen made it about fifteen minutes into the movie and was out like a light.

  She could hear the sounds of the other bikers who sat around a campfire outside talking. She must have dozed off at some point because when she awoke it was completely dark outside and the movie had ended. Looking around the small bedroom she noticed Bobby standing in the doorway.

  “She doesn’t know how lucky she is,” he whispered.

  She
looked down at the child who was snuggled up against her with one tiny arm slung around her waist. Looking back at Bobby he met her gaze with enough fire that she could feel his look from across the room.

  “Good night Lilly,” he whispered again. Then pulling a divider door closed behind him, he was gone.

  They pulled out just as early the following morning as they had the day before. Gretchen at least spared her more of her musical selections and was content to tell her all about her Daddy’s last ‘stupid girlfriend.’ She talked about her dog, Joey, and how she was going to grow up to fix motorcycles like her dad. It was obvious the little girl adored Tommy and though she was curious about the child’s mother, she didn’t ask and Gretchen never mentioned her.

  Then the subject turned to going to school and after asking her about knowing the alphabet, numbers, colors and shapes, Lilly was surprised when Gretchen turned angry.

  “Daddy wants me to go to school but I don’t really want to go. I just tell him I do so he’ll be happy,” she sighed.

  “Why wouldn’t you want to go to school?” she asked.

  “I told you, I’m gonna work in Uncle Bobby’s shop when I’m bigger so I don’t need to go to school ‘cause I already know what I want to be when I grow up,” she said, clearly irritated at Lilly’s intellectual shortcomings.

  “Have you ever watched what your Daddy and Uncle Bobby do at the shop?” she asked.

  “Yea they fix motorcycles and sometimes they build them,” Gretchen replied as though Lilly had no sense at all.

  “Well don’t you think they had to learn about how big to make each of the parts or how those parts all fit together?” she asked.

  Gretchen was quiet for a while and stared out the window. She thought the child was ignoring her or done talking about that topic when she finally said, “Yea.”

  “Everyone has to go to school, even if they already know what kind of job they want to get,” she said.

  “Did you always want to work in an office?” Gretchen asked.

  “Yes, and I went to college for it for many years after I went to regular school,” she replied.

  “Where did you work before you worked at the shop?” Gretchen asked.

  “Well actually this is my first job, can you believe that? When I was married I didn’t work, I stayed at home and took care of my house,” she answered.

  Looking thoughtful for a moment Gretchen said, “So you went to college for a long time but then stayed at home. Didn’t you want to work?”

  She didn’t know how to answer the child. She and Darren had argued many times over her wanting to get a job outside the home. Looking back she often felt guilty that she could be so angry at Darren even though he was gone now.

  Darren had convinced her that he needed her at home to support his dreams. At least for a while, until after any children they ended up having, were in school. Only after his death did she realize he had wanted her at home because he was laundering money by claiming her as an employee.

  “Yes, I did, but until I came here I hadn’t found the right job,” she finally answered.

  “Daddy told my Dickie that Uncle Bobby has the hots for you real bad, does that mean he wants to be married to you now instead of your husband?” Gretchen asked.

  “I doubt that very much Gretchen and you shouldn’t gossip,” she said, even though she wanted to ask the child why her Daddy thought that about Bobby. Had he said something to Tommy?

  “What is gossip?” Gretchen asked.

  “Never mind, but can you see how important school is now?” she asked in return.

  “Yea, but I won’t be good in school ‘cause my Dickie says I cuss like a trucker. I will not say bad words in school…I won’t… but I’m scared ‘cause I don’t know my numbers and stuff very well,” Gretchen said.

  “Well we got the whole rest of today and all day tomorrow yet. Maybe we can work on them together and by the time we get where we’re going you’ll know them all and nobody will ever know you didn’t,” she suggested.

  For the next hour they sang the alphabet song over and over and counted to fifty several times. Gretchen seemed to know her colors well enough and her shapes. When they stopped for lunch she wrote Gretchen’s name on a piece of paper and after a nap the child practiced writing her name for a while and then watched a movie. It had been a long day behind the wheel when they finally stopped for the night at a campsite a couple of hours outside of San Antonio, Texas.

  Gretchen once again was showered and out for the count just as the sun was setting. Lilly wasn’t quite as tired as she’d been the previous day so she sat outside with the group for a while. She could tell the women of the group had been talking about her amongst themselves as they would look at her and then at each other. They didn’t make an effort to talk to her or befriend her in any way.

  She hadn’t come all the way to Florida and then on this trip to trade one group of snotty women for another. One group shunned her because they had ‘honest’ money. This group shunned her for reasons she didn’t even know about. Deciding she didn’t need the tension she could feel coming from the women in the group after a long day behind the wheel, she headed back inside to check email at the office.

  As she logged in she noticed the date… two years ago to the day when Darren had died. She’d been so distracted with her new job and this trip she’d almost forgotten. She felt tears sting her eyes and slide down her cheeks just as she heard raindrops hitting the roof of the RV. Not wanting the guys to see her tears she grabbed her sweater and slipped out of the RV and around to the back. After hearing them all pile into the RV she made her way to a picnic table a few feet from the campsite.

  She cried for what she had lost… not just a husband… but her loss of innocence and naivety. She knew deep down she didn’t want to get involved with Bobby, not because he was a bad boy, but because she was afraid he would hurt her as Darren had done. His death had been painful enough and she had felt as though he had abandoned her.

  Then, as the truth of his business dealings and his affairs began to surface, the gossip began. It felt like a double betrayal. She hadn’t allowed herself to feel angry at him for all that happened because he was gone and she thought it wrong to be angry at someone who had died. She had tamped it down for so long.

  Here she was denying herself a chance to live again, to be wild and try new things. Even now she thought about his constant disapproval and his ultimate betrayal and just couldn’t… Tears streamed down her cheeks as she choked back sobs.

  Bobby realized that Lilly wasn’t in the RV once they all sat down and he saw the laptop. After double checking the bedroom, he glanced out the window of the small kitchen area and saw her… she was sitting on the picnic table. From her shaking shoulders and the hands that covered her face and mouth, even from the side he could tell she was upset and crying. What happened?

  “Lilly’s outside crying… something’s wrong. Stay inside and make yourselves scarce when we come back… fake sleep or whatever,” he said on his way out the door.

  As he neared the table where she sat he realized she was now soaking wet and he soon would be. His heart tore nearly in half when he heard her sobs. Stepping up on the opposite bench and then onto the table he sat down behind her and pulled her back into his arms.

  “Hey, hey… what’s wrong?” he said rubbing his hand over her wet hair as she leaned into his chest.

  “I forgot…” her voice broke and she sobbed harder.

  What could she possibly have forgotten that would make her this upset? He smoothed one hand down her back and cupped her head in his other hand. He had never liked to see a woman cry, but her sobs cut at him like a saw cutting through a tree.

  Each one was like a fresh slice and he would give anything to make her stop. All he could do was to hold her until she told him what was wrong. Then he could do something to fix it.

  Eventually the sobs subsided and her breathing stopped hitching. The rain continued to pound them both unt
il they were soaked to the skin. Digging around in his pocket he found the shop towel he’d stuffed in there earlier and handed it to her.

  She blew her nose and then said, “I’m ok now… you can go back inside,” as she tried to pull away from him.

  He pulled her head back against his chest again and leaned his face against the top of her head. “What did you forget that would make you so upset, Lilly?” he asked.

  “My husband…he died two years ago today… and I forgot,” she finished with a whisper he could barely hear over the rain that fell.

  “Do you miss him?” he asked, even though he didn’t want to know the answer. He didn’t want her to miss or want another man… even a dead one.

  “That’s the bad part… I don’t miss him as much anymore… I’m just so angry at him. I can’t seem to let it go,” she said. “I got so busy this past week and then this trip… I forgot until I opened the email and noticed the date on it.”

  “You’re allowed to go on with your life, Lilly. I don’t know what kind of man your husband was but you married him until death do you part. Now that he’s gone you have to learn to live again… on your own…apart,” he said.

  She pushed back from his chest and looked at him. Even with her red rimmed eyes and an even redder nose she was the single most beautiful woman he’d ever seen… bar none. Somehow the rain only seemed to enhance her beauty and he had to fight himself to keep from kissing the last of the tears from her face.

  “Can I tell you something?” she asked, “And you won’t think bad of me or judge me?”

  “Yea, tell me,” he said.

  “He wasn’t a good man,” she said quietly. “I thought he was while we were married but after he died… I found out all this stuff… things he’d done. He stole money from people and used my name to do it… he lied to me repeatedly and cheated… and I never knew. I trusted him… loved him and he betrayed me… once by dying and then again when he left me to face the wrath of our friends. I tried for so long not to be angry at him… I mean he’s dead… who thinks ill of the dead?”