Going Nowhere

by K. M. Galvin

  I tried to think of something to say or even make sense of what was running through my brain but all I could think about was the fact that I just had basically dry humped the guy who was quickly becoming one of my best friends.

  While the kid I was responsible for was in the other room.

  Jason must have been thinking something along the same lines as gave his head a little shake as though to clear it. Both his hands went to his head; he gripped his hair and grimaced like he was in pain. Was he regretting what we just did? Fuck, Marisol, you idiot! My heart ached so much that my hand lifted and covered it. This is why I wanted to stay friends; this is why I didn’t want any complications right now.

  “Don’t do that!” He said fiercely, walking over and gripping my shoulders. “Don’t regret it.”

  “We shouldn’t have done that! Fuck, Jase! Mikey is in the other room, I’ve only known you a couple weeks. This is going way too fast. I told you I didn’t want anything more than friendship!” I sounded hysterical, even to my own ears and tried not to cringe.

  “I seem to recall you kissing me back, Marisol.” He bit out between clenched teeth, his expression fierce.

  “I didn’t know what I was doing, Jason. Your stupid tattoo and abs hypnotized me and I have no fucking experience-” I clamped my mouth shut realizing what I just said, my eyes going huge as I watched understanding come into his eyes.

  Awesome, Marisol. Just great. What a banner day this was turning out to be. I closed my eyes completely mortified. He took a deep breath and then pulled me into a hug and I was so all over the place I let him comfort me.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t know that, uh, you didn’t have experience. I got caught up in you like I always do.”

  “Fuck, Jason, what the hell are we going to do?” I mumbled into his chest.

  “We take things much slower.”

  “Really? That easy? You honestly think we can slow down after what just happened? ” I leaned back so I could look at him better.

  “Well, no. But we can’t go back to the way things were before and I don’t want to lose you. You’re important to me.” He said, eyes caressing my face.

  I stay quiet thinking for a moment. I wasn’t going to deny this anymore, it was going to happen know matter how much I tried to stop it.

  “Ok.” I let out a breath, “Ok we can do this. Obviously we have this chemistry between us.” I glance down at his erection and grinned. He laughed at me and dropped a kiss on my lips, causing them to tingle. “Let’s just take things very slow.”

  I looked up at him hopefully. It wasn’t what I originally thought I was going to have with him, but maybe this could work. He tucked me close to him again and gave me a tight squeeze.

  “I can do slow.” He groaned in my ear, pushing his hardness against me for emphasis.

  “I’m sure you can.” I patted his chest and he let me go. “Lock that up, Bartender. You understand what I’m saying right?”

  “Yep, we’re going slow until I can convince you otherwise.” He smirked at me and held his hand out for me to shake.

  “Close enough.” I slap my hand in his and we shake on it.

  “Hey! Uncle Jase! Are you showing Mari our secret handshake?” Mikey comes barreling around the corner.

  “No, buddy, we were coming to an understanding.” He crouched down in front of him and drew him into a hug, making monster noises into his neck. “Ready to go to the beach?” Jason asked, standing back up

  “I’ve been ready forever! You’re a slow poke!” Mikey said, pointing his little finger at me. I grab it and pretend to eat it, laughing at the loud screech he lets out. I look over to Jase, who’s smiling at us both.

  “Come on, boys! We’ve got castles to build!” I grab my bag and head out the door, not waiting for them.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  The rest of the day was so much fun. I got to get some sun and read while Jason and Mikey played in the water. Then we made a massive sand castle and just enjoyed each other’s company. Jason was very careful with me for the rest of the day.

  Even so, I could feel the shift in our relationship. I wasn’t going to be stupid anymore and ignore what was probably inevitable between us. I think I always knew that eventually, if we kept on the same path, we would have ended up here.

  What was so surprising was the quickness with which I caved. Don’t get me wrong I’m still terrified. Of how much I like him and how little time it had taken for him to get under my skin. Of how quickly he could pull me under and make me forget everything.

  Being with him would be all consuming. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to make a complete commitment to him, but I wouldn’t deny the claim he had on me. We were friends and we were more, but I was going to take it slow and let things progress naturally. And judging from how he acted today, he was going to let me take point on this. When we all got back to the house I gave Mikey a bath and laid him down for a nap while Jason showered and got ready for work.

  I was nervous about being alone with him without Mikey as a buffer, but when he said goodbye it was right back to Bartender and Crazy. He gave me a hug, cracked a joke, and was gone before I had time to process. He seemed happier and back to his normal self, which, if I’m being honest, kind of pissed me off. I didn’t think it was fair for me to be the only one tied up in knots and analyzing the hell out of our situation.

  By the time, I put Mikey down for the night I had worked myself into a full-blown panic. Grabbing my phone, I sat down on the couch and called Kayla.

  “Hello, sister dear!” She sang when she answered.

  “Hi.” I mumbled, gnawing on my nails.

  “Uh oh! What’s wrong, Pinky?”

  “Oh you know, just hooking up with your new best friend after adamantly refusing to be anything more than friends and then accidentally revealing to him you’re a virgin. Just another Thursday.” Kayla was so quiet I thought maybe she got disconnected but before I could make sure she let out an ear-piercing scream.

  Jerking the phone away from my ear with a wince I said, “Jesus, Kay, try not to blow my ear drum please!”

  “Marisol Claire Finnegan! Are you serious? Please do not be messing with me? Holy crap! Are you? Are you serious? Oh my God! Shut up!” She screeched. I could hear Johnny in the background asking about me and before I could answer she was talking again. “She’s fine, Johnny. Go away. I’ll tell you later. Marisol, answer me!”

  “I would if you would stop talking for a second.” I pointed out.

  “Rude. Please, go ahead.” She said imperiously.

  “Yeah, well that happened. Jason came in with nothing but his bathing suit on and I was staring at his tattoo and next thing I know we are full on making out and yeah…” I trailed off, completely embarrassed. “Apparently I can’t control myself around bare chested, tattooed hotties.”

  “Aw! Mari did you have your first sexual encounter?” She teased.

  “God! This is embarrassing just so you know! And don’t say sexual encounter.” I grimaced at her phrasing.

  “Fine, I’m sorry. So I guess that you experienced an orgasm for the first time?”

  I roll my eyes, “I’m a virgin not a Puritan. I have gotten off before.”

  “BOB doesn’t count.” She said, referencing my battery-operated boyfriend.

  “Whatever.” He so counted.

  “So what now?”

  “That’s kind of up in the air.” I said vaguely.

  “Well, last time I talked to you, you said that y’all were just friends and that was all despite that fact you both eye fucked each other the entire night.”

  “Jesus, Kayla!”

  “I’m just saying that I totally saw this coming. No pun intended.” She snickered.

  “Hi, thirteen year old, Kayla? Can I have my adult sister back, please?”

  “You’re no fun. So what? Are you guys together now?”

  “No, well sort of.”

  “That makes no sense.” She said and I agreed. It was confu
sing to me too.

  “We’re friends. Dating.”

  “What the hell, Marisol?” She whined.

  “We’re taking things slow, I’m pretty sure the ball’s in my court. We both know where we stand with each other, what we want, so we’re going to let things happen naturally. I just don’t know how I thought I could be this attracted to someone and remain friends.”

  “You were an idiot.” She said bluntly.

  “Thanks.” I said, rolling my eyes.

  “Look, I’m glad you’re not running from him anymore. He really, really likes you. It was written all over his sappy face every time he looked at you.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes. I’m happy for you, I just really hope you don’t mess things up.”

  “I’m going to try really hard not to.”

  “Listen, I love you and I’m so glad you have a real life human to have sexy time with and all, but I have to run. Johnny made plans for us tonight.”

  “Nice.”

  “Yep, we’ve both been so swamped with school and work so it’s us time tonight.”

  “Good you guys need it. I’ll talk to you later, love you both!”

  “Bye, slut!” She hung up before I could reply and I snorted out a laugh.

  “What’s so funny?” Jason said from behind me, scaring the shit out of me. I screamed, jumping up from the couch. Which was stupid since my foot got caught in the blanket I was using and I ended up face planting onto the floor. I turned over onto my back and watched Jason almost pee his pants laughing at me.

  “How long were you standing there?” Please God, let him have just gotten home.

  “Long enough to see you laughing at yourself then snort like a horse.”

  He walked around the couch and pulled me to my feet. I jumped back onto my side and fixed the blanket back around me, hiding my ninja turtle pajama pants. Now that we were…well, whatever we were, I didn’t want to scare him off with my love for novelty pajama pants.

  “Good.”

  “Why, were you talking about me?” He asked, standing in front of the TV so I had to focus on him.

  “Yep!” I shrugged, not bother denying it.

  “All good I hope.” He leered.

  “Not telling.” I sang.

  “Hmm, well I’m going to change.”

  “Wait, what are you doing home so early?”

  “Early? Crazy, it’s after ten.” He looked at me strangely. I checked my phone.

  “Whoa.” I couldn’t believe how fast time flew by. I was seriously lost in thought for hours.

  “Time flies when you’re having fun?”

  “Something like that.” I hedged.

  “I’m going to get changed and then how about we continue my Office education?”

  “Good plan.” I said, already switching from cable to Netflix.

  I got off the couch and went into the pantry to grab the chips and beer he ended up sneaking into the carriage at the store. I set them on the coffee table and queued up my favorite episode.

  I had just settled into my spot on the couch, when Jase came back in and launched himself next to me, making me bounce, and grabbed some of the blanket. He looked over at the set up on the coffee table.

  “Nice, Mari. I should come home to you more often if you’re going to be a nice Wifey and have all this ready for me.” He grabbed the chips and propped them up between us and grabbed one of the beers.

  “Call me Wifey again and I’ll spit in your beer.”

  “We already swapped spit so that isn’t an effective threat anymore.” He grinned at me.

  I rolled my eyes and took a sip of my beer, settling back until I was comfortable. Jase reached over and grabbed my legs, adjusting them over his lap. Since I was even more comfortable I let it slide. It wasn’t a very big couch anymore with him all stretched out anyways. I grabbed the remote and hit play.

  “This is my favorite episode ever. I know we should start from the beginning, but I’m really in the mood for this one.” I explained. He just shrugged and settled back, his head resting on the back of the couch, legs stretched out on the coffee table.

  For the next hour we watched the show and laughed. It was nice, sharing this with him. I felt so comfortable around him, which was amazing considering what went on earlier, but other than propping my legs on his lap, he didn’t make any moves on me. Before I knew it I was passed out on the couch, that one beer completely knocking me out.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  The next morning, I woke up in the guest bed. Jason must have carried me in here before he left last night. Rolling out of bed, I checked on Mikey and saw that he was still out like a light. I walked into the kitchen and began making some coffee and getting some breakfast ready for Little Man when I noticed a note from Jase on the counter saying he was meeting up with the guys to talk and practice before work tonight to get ready for the party at the bar. That reminded me.

  Morning, Em! Are you coming tonight? I can see if Sarah is available.

  Instead of texting me back she called me.

  “Hey, lady!” I chirped into the phone.

  “Marisol, time difference.” She said, her voice husky with sleep.

  “Oh crap sorry! I thought you might have been sleeping, that’s why I texted you.”

  “Yeah, well, when you have a kid you develop eagle ears.”

  “Sorry!” I tried not to laugh. I did feel bad, really I did.

  “I can hear you snickering, brat. To answer your question, yes I am going. If you wouldn’t mind calling Sarah and seeing if she’s available, that would be great. Her number is on the fridge.”

  “How late are you planning on being out?”

  “Oh God, no later than midnight. Jesus, I’ll probably be ready to tank at ten, but I’m craving some social time.”

  “Didn’t you get any these past couple days?”

  She snorted, “I was working and I don’t call a couple guys talking to my boobs social time.”

  I burst out laughing, “I can see why. All right I’ll go ahead and do all that and send you an ‘it’s on’ text once I hear back from Sarah my second stringer.”

  “Sarah the Second Stringer. Nice alliteration. What are you a writer or something?”

  I know she said it offhand but that startled me and I realized I haven’t written anything in days. “Actually, I am. Well, I’m trying to be.”

  “Whoa, really? I’m psychic!” She crowed.

  “Yeah good call.”

  “So what do you write?” She asked curiously.

  “Right now I’m just puttering around. Not sure how I want to go about writing. I’m kind of using it as a weird journal/ venting thing.”

  “What are you journaling/venting about?”

  “You’re pretty curious there, Em.” And it was making me uncomfortable.

  “Come on, I’d like to think we’re friends on our way to being best friends. Tell me. I’m nosy, so what?” What is it with the Scott siblings? I shook my head.

  “Ok well I’m writing about life after college. How it has completely left you unprepared for life in general and how it’s kind of exasperated with the state of the job market. I’m making it sound a lot more intelligent than it is. I’m really just shooting my mouth off, pissed about moving home and this identity crisis I’m having.” I said dryly.

  “I totally know what you’re talking about. Even though I had Mikey, when I graduated I went through this identity thing. It’s like ok I was a student and now what? I just studied my life away for grades, but they never taught me to get a job or how to actual live.”

  “Yes! That’s exactly it!” I exclaimed, excited that she got it.

  “Look I know I was totally lucky to get this job, but I do get it. If you need an ear, I’m here. Ha! That rhymed. Maybe I should be a writer too.”

  “Uh, you are, dumbass!” I giggled.

  “Oh yeah, you’re right. Hey, send me your stuff, I’d love to read it and give you feed back.”


  “I don’t know, Em. I’m just messing around right now.” I was extremely nervous about having her read my stuff, she was an actual writer while I just played around.

  “I know, but I’d still be able to tell if you had a voice and a good flow. Plus, I’m curious as hell. So just do it. Thanks!” She said, before I could protest.

  “Bossy pants.” I grumbled.

  “You betcha! All right, I got to run, babe! I’ll see you tonight! Give Mikey a hug and a kiss this morning from mommy!”

  “I will, have a safe flight!” I hung up and stared at my phone for a second. Then I decided to text Jase.

  Your sister is a lunatic.

  I sat back and waited for his reply. I swear he must keep his phone on him at all times because I didn’t even have to wait a full minute.

  Uh oh, what did she do know?

  She wants me to send her my writing.

  Hey, you’re writing? Why didn’t you tell me?

  I don’t know. It’s nothing really constructive. Just fooling around.

  You wrote it, I want to read it.

  Well wait in line because I don’t think my anxiety could handle two people

  reading what’s going on in my head at the same time. It’s scary as shit to share

  this.

  I get it, I just hope you’ll share it with me.

  Duh, of course, you’re my bestie remember?! ;)

  Is she coming tonight?

  I paused a little at the subject change, but just shrugged it off.

  Yeah, well as long as I can get that Sarah girl to watch the Little Man. I’ll text you if there is a change in plans, but just plan on both of us being there.

  Awesome. I have something to tell you.

  Tell me now!

  No, I want to do it in person.

  Ok, Mr. Cryptic.

  K, baby, I gotta go. I’ll see you tonight.

  Bye

  There was that baby again. He didn’t use it often, only when he was being intimate with me, but I swear it packed a punch. Who was this girl? Throwing my phone on the couch I moved into the kitchen and made Mikey some cereal and toast. I had just set it on the table when I felt a little body slam into me and hug me behind my knees. Turning around I picked him up and snuggled him into me. Sleepy kids were my favorite. All they want to do is cuddle. He wrapped himself around me, resting his head on my shoulder while he played with my hair. It was our routine now and I loved it.