Wounded Bear (Whiteheart Clan Book 2)

by Chloe Peterson

  Emma's heart fluttered as she replayed those words before taking her seat opposite Jade at the restaurant table. The last few days as girlfriends had been magical, and Emma was still on a high from all the beautiful moments they'd shared.

  Jade still got moody sometimes, but they had more good times than bad. Now that Emma was Jade's girlfriend, she understood that Jade would open up with time. Her job and great joy were to help lay the foundation so that when the revelation came, they'd be able to get through it together and come out stronger.

  "Why hello, beautiful," Giselle greeted the waitress. The young woman blushed, and Jade rolled her eyes. Emma laughed.

  Everywhere they'd been, Giselle had made her presence felt. She'd flirted with everyone they met, and promptly introduced Emma as her new friend. Jade usually stood in the direct line of the exit looking sour.

  Emma thought it was cute that she was a little jealous. In fact, it would do well to fire up their next makeup session.

  After placing their orders, Giselle got a phone call and left the table after Jade glared at her for ten straight seconds.

  "Oh, come on," Emma said, placing her elbows on the table. "It's not so bad with her here."

  Jade folded her arms. "It is. I wanted you to spend your first day at the center with me."

  Emma pouted her bottom lip. "Aww. That's so sweet. I take it you're more than enjoying your new relationship."

  Jade grinned, all thoughts of Giselle having been forgotten. "You bet I am. I'm not good with relationships, but things are just so easy with you."

  "Thanks for saying that, but you've got to remember my usual life is a lot more complicated."

  "It probably is, but I'm not just talking about the time we get to spend together." Jade's eyes held Emma's. "You're a great person. I'd be just as happy getting to talk to you over the phone for hours as I would being with you in person."

  Emma smirked. "So, you wouldn't miss our make-out sessions?"

  "You got me there." Jade grinned. "We have had quite a bit of fun."

  "I'd say we've had more than our fair share." Emma let her mind run back to the night before. Jade had sneaked into her room, long after everyone else went to bed. While they hadn't gone all the way, they had been liberal in their groping.

  Emma pressed her thighs together, as her center throbbed at the memory. "You can't come to my room again. Next time, we won't be able to stop."

  "Who says we have to?" Jade's green eyes glinted, and Emma groaned.

  "Stop it with the sexy eyes. You're killing me here."

  Jade snorted. "If you want me to stop with the sexy eyes, then you need to stop wearing t-shirts that are so tight around the chest. You're making this hard on me too."

  Emma laughed. "Busted."

  "Mm-hmm." Jade quickly looked outside the window, then reached for Emma's hand, giving it a quick squeeze. "I really like you."

  "I like you too." Emma let her thumb draw lazy circles on the back of Jade's hand. The older woman stared at their clasped hands, deep in concentration. Emma was content to let her puzzle through whatever she was pondering.

  Somehow, deep down inside, she knew that she and Jade were building something special. There was no need to rush things. When the situation with Derek blew over, and things got settled, she'd find a way to make things work with Jade. After all, Jade had basically agreed to a long-distance relationship by mentioning hours on the phone.

  Jade took a deep breath. "I think I'm ready to tell you about what happened ten years ago. I thought about it long and hard, and I trust you."

  Emma smiled, her limbs felt light. It seemed they were on the same page and that she needn't worry about pushing Jade.

  "I feel honored that you'd choose to share that with me."

  Just then, the restaurant door slammed shut, and a frustrated Giselle walked back to the table. Emma and Jade quickly broke apart. While things between them were stable, they still weren't settled. They'd share their news once they knew what was what.

  "I can't believe this crap."

  "What happened?" Emma asked.

  "I was chatting to a friend—"

  "Fuck buddy," Jade said, clearing her throat.

  Giselle's nostrils flared. "I was chatting to a friend," she continued louder, her eyes never leaving Jade's, "when my boss called and asked me to come in early. The Titanrun is going to be hosting a hen party before our usual night starts. Now I've got to go in and work an extra shift."

  "Sorry," Emma said. "Do you want us to pack your food for you?"

  "Nah." Giselle got up again. "If I've got to be at work early, then I deserve a mini lunch break. I'll get it to go. You guys can keep the car. I'll walk. Have fun on your non-date without me!"

  Emma laughed as she watched Giselle approach their waitress and ask to get a doggy bag. The young woman blushed as she handed Giselle the bag, then brought Emma and Jade their food.

  "Finally, it's just us two."

  Jade smiled tightly and nodded.

  "What is it? Are you nervous?" Emma took Jade's hand.

  The older woman nodded. "I had worked up the courage, then Giselle interrupted me. So fucking typical of her."

  "Hey, you can tell me whenever you're ready."

  "How about now?" Jade blurted out.

  Emma looked down at their food and the busy restaurant. "Here?"

  "No. Outside. In the car, maybe."

  Emma lifted a hand to get the waitresses attention. If Jade was ready to open up, then food could come later. Minutes later, their food was packed to go, and a very confused waitress wished them a lovely day.

  Jade and Emma walked silently to the parking lot a few blocks down, then quietly got into the back seat of the car.

  "Okay," Jade took a deep breath. "I'm just going to monologue this because I don't want to chicken out. And I'm going to spit it all out, okay?"

  Emma nodded and placed a hand on Jade's thigh. The older woman patted it, then pushed it off her body.

  Okay, Emma thought. I guess it's that bad.

  "I've been in foster care most of my life. From what I know, my birth parents had me for a few years, before they left me at the social worker's office." Jade shook her head. "I don't know why they'd do that? It's irresponsible enough to leave a child alone, but a shifter? That was dangerous.

  "Anyway, I learned about my shifter heritage from a couple of other kids in the system. I noticed that we smelled similar and when I asked them about it, they took me under their wings and helped me explore that part of me. I was about twelve at that time.

  "I learned how to shift and a little bit about how to fight. Then I hit puberty, and things went crazy. My bear came into her own as well. She became aggressive and wanted to shift, a lot. That time was tough for me because I didn't know if I was normal or not. I'd moved around the foster system, and ended up in a new home.

  "Soon, things calmed down, but I found I still had this anger underneath. I still do, if I'm honest. It's like things piss me off more than they should and sometimes when I shift, I can lose control."

  Jade raised her eyes to watch Emma after that statement. "Go on," Emma said, with a smile.

  Everyone had their issues. Emma's was co-dependency, and it seemed Jade's was underlying anger. As far as Emma was concerned, Jade was doing a great job of handling it. Emma's mother had shown her what happened when a person stopped trying. Jade was winning, as far as Emma was concerned.

  "You're not worried about that?" Jade cocked her head.

  Emma inhaled. "Not really, no. I've seen you get upset and moody sometimes. I'm guessing the moodiness has to do with you losing your friend. As for the anger, you've not done anything truly horrible, and you seem to have it under control. So no, I'm not worried."

  Jade bit her lip. "I lost it a month ago. I was on a mission with Jason when it happened. Rowan was gone, so she didn't see. I almost killed someone. Jason had to wallop me to get me to calm down."

  Emma's heart went out to her girlfriend. Jade so
unded like she was scared of herself. Emma wanted to wipe away that fear and tell Jade that they'd work on it together, but then that would mean creating another co-dependent situation. That was the last thing Emma needed.

  "But you stopped, right?" Emma asked.

  Jade nodded. "The same thing happened the day I met you. That wolf kicked me in the gut, and I almost lost it." Jade turned to face Emma head on. "But it's not an everyday thing. I try to control it. That's why I take long walks, and try not to shift too much."

  Emma chuckled. "I'm not afraid of you, Jade. I don't think you're a monster walking around ready to attack anyone. You don't have to convince me."

  "I'm not so sure. I still haven't told you what happened ten years ago."

  Emma pursed her lips in a bid to force herself from interrupting Jade's flow. It seemed the older woman was building up to something big.

  "When I was seventeen, I moved into a foster home with another girl, Danny." Jade smiled. "We were best friends. In fact, she was the first person I showed my bear to. She took it all in her stride and told me I wasn't a freak.

  "Our foster dad, David, was a sleazeball. There was no other way to put it. The other girl that stayed with us warned us about him. That he could get handsy."

  Emma felt her heart begin to race and a chill run down her spine. She didn't like the direction this story was heading in.

  Was Jade abused? She wondered.

  "We kept the door to our room closed at night, and made sure to stay together during the day. Anyway, one day, Danny and I had fought. It was a rare thing. I remember, she wanted me to ask a girl at school out, and I wouldn't. I thought she was pushing me too hard, so I told her that not all of us were sluts that slept with any guy."

  Jade sighed. "Danny was so upset. She looked at me like she'd been betrayed."

  Emma reached for Jade, but the green-eyed woman raised a hand indicating she'd prefer not be touched. Emma swallowed thickly and reminded herself this was about Jade. Not her own need to be there for her girlfriend.

  "What happened?"

  Jade's voice was hoarse when she continued. "That day, she and the other girl went to the movies together. I decided to hang around the yard and try to sort out my feelings. Our foster home was on the edge of a forest, which is why I didn't ask to get moved, despite how creepy David could be.

  "That day, I was lying on the grass with my headphone in, trying to sort out my feelings, when I felt a hand clamp over my mouth. My eyes flew open, and I found David on top of me, pinning me down. I fought to get him off, but he was too strong." Jade's voice warbled as she continued. "So, I shifted. Right then and there. Once in bear form, I shoved him off me. I don't even remember the rest of what happened next. When I came to, so to speak, David lay dead on the floor, his throat ripped out, and beside him, was Danny. She was still breathing, trying to crawl away. I shifted back to human form and ran to call, but it was too late. I crouched beside her, whispering 'I'm sorry,' but it was no use. I killed her, Emma. I killed her, and I didn't even have the decency to remember, how or why. I'm a murderer, Emma. When I get angry or scared, I can do horrible things. I guess that makes me a danger to everyone. To you."

  Emma scooted across the back seat, her eyes blurry with tears and pulled Jade to her. Her heart ached for her girlfriend, and she didn't need Jade to do any more explaining; Emma completely understood.

  Jade was an innocent teenager that got attacked. In defending herself, she killed her best friend. And then, she had to watch her friend die.

  Emma had seen a lot, but she knew full well, she could never recover from such a thing at the age of seventeen.

  "It wasn't your fault," Emma whispered, as she stroked Jade's hair. The older woman shook her head and cried even harder. Emma whispered the same words over and over. Now that she understood the magnitude of what made Jade so sad and moody, she realized that it would take years to get over the guilt.

  But Emma was sure of one thing, she would be there for Jade every step of the way, even if that meant she had to be there as a friend. This poor woman had been left to learn about her shifter heritage on her own. No one had shown her how to manage it.

  Then the very system that was supposed to help her sent a pervert after her, leading to a teenage girl getting blood on her hands.

  "I'm here for you," Emma said. Her throat burned, but she made sure to project her voice and inject as much confidence as she could into it. "I'm not going anywhere. I don't blame you, and I know Danny wouldn't either."

  I hope I have enough strength and patience to show Jade that she's worthy of love and not to blame, Emma thought.

  10

  Early the next morning, Jade lay in Emma's bed, drawing patterns over the younger woman's face. The day before had started light enough before things got heavy. But through all of it, Emma had been there for Jade, in a way that took her breath away as she remembered the afternoon's event.

  Emma had held Jade and let her cry, literally for the better part of an hour. Then, she'd proceeded to tell Jade how worthy she was of love and happiness. At first, Jade had resisted Emma's opinions, so Emma had decided to play devils' advocate with Jade.

  Together, they'd torn apart the very events that happened ten years ago. It was hard for Jade to do, but Emma helped her push on. After an excellent twenty minutes of debate, they'd both conclude that there was nothing Jade could have done differently.

  "You're a shifter," Emma had said. "You have instincts. They took over. But now, you're learning to control them."

  That's what it came down to. Jade had never allowed herself to revisit that night and think things through. All she could see was Danny's face as she took her last breath. That sight alone, sent the ugly self-hate in her going.

  If Jade were honest with herself, she'd admit that some of those voices had continued to speak up throughout the day. But, she held on to the words that Emma had told her. That she was worthy of love, and that she wasn't to blame for a pedophile’s actions.

  My angel, Jade thought.

  Emma had come to her in horrible circumstances, but she'd found it in herself to help someone else. Jade didn't understand how someone like Emma could be so giving after all she'd gone through with her mother, but she was glad Emma was a selfless person.

  With every passing year, Jade's self-hate and guilt grew. She shuddered to think about where she'd be in ten years’ time if Emma hadn't come along and helped her work through her issues. Jade would probably have left the team, and become even more of a loner until depression and guilt caused her to take her own life. Lord knew she'd thought about it before.

  "You stopped that from happening," Jade whispered, leaning forward to peck Emma on the forehead.

  The previous night, Jade slept like a baby for the first time in years. It was due to a combination of being emotionally drained, and having her conscience absolved. As a result, she'd woken up very early. Unable to stay away from the woman who'd done so much for her, she'd snuck into Emma's room.

  Jade smiled as she remembered Emma's sleepy conversation. She vowed then and there to find a therapist that would help her work through all her issues.

  I want to be able to sleep with Emma like a typical couple, she thought. Emma deserves at least that much.

  Jade swung her feet out of bed and quietly left Emma to enjoy her final hours of sleep. It was early morning, but there was a good chance some of her teammates would be awake, especially Mara who'd probably want to get started on breakfast.

  Jade loved that Mara acted like the team's de facto mother. Most of them never experienced the kind of maternal love she showered on them. Jade was just glad she'd get to experience something like that so that she'd know what to do, in case she decided to have children one day.

  Jade scoffed. "Slow down, Jade. It's not even been twenty-four hours, and you're acting like you're a completely different person."

  "What brought on this change?" Giselle asked, making Jade scream as her heart jumped.

&nbs
p; Jade punched Giselle in the arm. "Don't fucking do that!"

  "Shh!" Giselle smirked. "You'll wake the house up."

  Jade clenched her fists and gritted her jaw. Part of her conversation with Emma the day before had revolved around her relations with the team. Jade knew she had to fix things.

  Even though the girls had been very accommodating of her and her quirks, she still needed to apologize for how she'd been acting over the last few days. Being short with everyone and creating a tense mood wasn't the way to repay the love and kindness they'd given her.

  "What?" Giselle tilted her head. "No come back?"

  "No."

  "Are you feeling okay, Jade? Something’s off. And by off, I mean more off than your usual self or the way you've been acting lately."

  Jade's heart sunk. The cautious tone in Giselle's voice told her actions were weighing on the team. It was time to make things right. Starting with Giselle.

  "I'm sorry."

  Giselle's head jerked back. "Excuse me?"

  "I'm sorry." Jade swallowed thickly. "I've been acting horribly recently because the anniversary of my childhood best friend’s death was this week. I can't go into details, but I had something to do with her death, and it's been eating me up inside."

  Jade's eyes flew open when Giselle pulled her into a fierce hug. "I knew you were going through something serious. You don't usually act like you hate me that much."

  "I don't hate you," Jade mumbled, fighting her instinct to shove Giselle away. "You just remind me of the friend I lost and sometimes it gets to be too much."

  "Oh. Do you, like, want me to stop being my awesome self?"

  "Jade rolled her eyes and tried to relax into the hug. "No. Just keep being you."

  Part of her promise to herself was that she wanted to live a more normal life That meant going along with all the usual kind of things people did. Like hugging their friends, and being honest.

  Jade still wasn't ready to tell them about how Danny died. She fully trusted her friends not to blame her or see her any different. Emma's reaction had shown her they'd be understanding, but Jade wasn't ready for another emotional roller coaster.