Witch on the Fritz
Page 9
Annalise dangled Lizzy in front of Piper and said, “Game on bitch.”
Skylar and Cassie rushed the stage, but Piper didn’t acknowledge them. She was still numb from the new rules. Chef Jango was no longer her partner. The shit just got real. She needed to think fast, because the commercial break was almost over.
Skylar shook her shoulders. “You can do this Piper. Liam is willing to be your partner. As long as you focus on baking, you can beat Annalise at her own game. We haven’t lost yet.”
“I think you mean Elise,” Liam said from the doorway.
Everyone looked at him and gasped. “What are you talking about?” Piper asked.
“Just what I said. That’s not Annalise on the stage. It’s Elise. It’s been Elise and Silas all along. The story she told you was true except for one caveat. She’s the one who hates you and wants to destroy the coven and the pack. She resents your leadership and doesn’t think you’re worthy of leading the coven since your mom skipped town. Those are her sister’s words not mine.”
“I don’t understand Liam.”
“We don’t have a lot of time Piper. In a nutshell, Annalise found her mate the same night Isaac found his mate. They had to continue with the farce of a wedding because Annalise’s mate is Linus, Silas’s cousin. They’ve been hiding it from him for over a year. Linus wants out and is willing to do whatever it takes to protect Annalise from his cousin and her sister. That’s why they both went into hiding. Elise used their disappearance to her advantage to manipulate Silas and fool him into thinking that she was her identical twin sister.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Sky yelled.
“We have a bigger problem,” Piper told the group. “Elise has Lizzy.”
Skylar threw her one good hand in the air. “Oh, for fuck’s sake, not that damn rabbit’s foot again. Listen to me Piper. You don’t need Lizzy to win. Put on your big girl panties, go out there and kick Elise’s ass. Be the baker I know you can be. Believe in yourself for once in your life.”
Liam nodded for them to leave the room. He pulled Piper into his arms and kissed her forehead. “She’s right, sweetheart. It’s time to believe in yourself and in us. We can beat them as long as you don’t give up on us. Together, no one can stop us.”
Piper knew Liam was right. Everything she’d ever wanted was within her grasp. She wouldn’t lose it now. It was time to kick some wiccan ass. She looked into Liam’s soulful, green eyes and the love she saw there warmed her body from the inside out. When her breathing leveled, she knew it was time.
“I’m sorry for running out on you the other night. It was a shit move and I promise to spend the rest of my life making it up to you. Thank you for believing in me… for believing in us. I can’t do this without you. I’m tired of worrying about what will go wrong in this competition. Starting now, I’m focusing only on the positive. I love you, Liam Alexander. Let’s do this.”
Liam smiled and kissed Piper on the lips. “I’m going to hold you to that promise, Chef Patterson.”
Chapter 12
“Welcome back, bakers! Yada, yada, yada, yada, yada,” Zelda said with a dismissive wave. “Before we start the baking competition, let me introduce our judges.” Zelda squinted her eyes to read the teleprompter. “Holy hell! Could you make the words on that thing a little bigger?”
Piper and Liam watched as the stagehand rushed to do Zelda’s bidding. He was sweating profusely, and his hands were shaking like a leaf. Under other circumstances, Piper would have felt bad for the guy, but she needed to focus. Everything hinged on this competition. Their bakery and the Bayou.
“Thanks! Now, get the hell out of the way,” Zelda yelled. “Our first judge today is the renowned Chef Jeeves. The man cooks everything from scratch and it’s unbelievably delicious. I’m also proud to admit that he’s my stepson from another mother.”
Zelda waited while the crowd cheered and chanted Jeeves name. Her stepson was a fucking Rockstar in the cooking world. Her heart swelled with joy.
“Our second judge is Sassy Bermangoogleshitz Pants, Jeeves wife and my stepdaughter in law. She loves oatmeal butterscotch cookies and prefers them burned but will eat whatever you put in front of her face. She also wants the role of the shark in the world premiere of Sharknado: The Musical. If she doesn’t like your cake, she has my permission to blow your ass up.
Everyone in the audience laughed hysterically. Well, everyone except Piper and Liam. They were pretty sure Zelda was serious as a heart attack. She as much confirmed their suspicions with her next comment.
“Aw, how cute. You guys think I’m joking. Our final judge is Marge, the cookie witch. Don’t let her height and steel gray hair fool you. She’s a tough cookie to satisfy. If you fail, she’ll smite your ass with her candy cane.”
“What happened to Fat Bastard and Boba Fett?” Someone yelled from the audience. Piper couldn’t see who it was because of the bright stage lights.
Zelda glared at the camera. “My wayward cats, Fat Bastard, Boba Fett and Chef Jango Fett have been banned from the competition for life. Boys, you’ve got some explaining to do when we get home.”
During the next commercial break, Piper took in several deep breaths and let them out slowly as she regrouped. She tried to forget that the boys belonged to Zelda. How in the hell had they ended up at my house? She smelled a rat and had a sneaky suspicion that he was standing next to her, but she didn’t have time to argue with Liam. They had a competition to win. They walked back on stage and she geared up for the battle of her life. She ignored the smirk on Silas’s face. He really thinks they will win. Well, he’s about to get a rude awakening.
“Let’s get this competition started. Our flavor challenge tonight is called Batter Up. We want each of you to create a mini cake celebrating one of the human magicians’ tools of the trade. And then, give us some magic of your own by turning one of these savory delights into a sweet treat. You’ll have your choice of chives, pickles, camembert cheese, jalapeno pepper, cayenne pepper, mustard, salmon, or sriracha. Wait! Who the hell wants a cake that tastes like fish? No can do. Salmon is off the table,” Zelda instructed.
Piper tried not to cringe at the food choices. Thank the Goddess Zelda had nixed the salmon. It was a little too late to be asking, but she couldn’t help herself. “Liam, do you know anything about baking?”
Liam gave her a doubtful look. “Do you want the truth, or do you want me to make you feel better?”
“Nothing will make me feel better at this point. I just need to know what I’m working with,” Piper explained.
“My specialties are chocolate chip cookies and birthday cakes. Someone had to do it after our mom passed. The old man was a wreck, so it wasn’t going to be him.”
Piper hadn’t meant to drudge up painful memories for Liam. She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. “Thanks for being honest. It doesn’t get you off the hook for going behind my back and hiring Chef Jango, Boba Fett and Fat Bastard to protect me, but I get why you did it.”
The stunned look on Liam’s face was priceless. Piper smiled and contemplated the ingredients she wanted to mix in her cake.
“You have seventy-five minutes. The clock starts now,” Zelda said.
The audience and everyone in the magical community watched as the two teams rushed to their stations. Piper was in full-on baker mode. Her only objective was to win.
“We have one opportunity to wow the judges,” Piper told Liam.
“Okay, what did you have in mind? Just tell me what to do and I’ll do it without hesitation,” Liam replied.
Piper wiggled her eyebrows. “Don’t tempt me. We’re on nationwide television. I’m the only one who gets to see your package.”
Liam quickly kissed her on the lips. “Get your mind out of the gutter. We’re wasting time.”
“Let’s make a jalapeno carrot cake with a cream cheese swiss meringue buttercream. We could add sweet pecans for a little crunch. We’ll add the jalapenos only to the batter so t
hat the cream cheese buttercream settles the taste. They’ll still get a touch of heat and sweetness. Since you have experience making birthday cakes, we’ll keep the design simple.”
“Oh, let’s do a guy being sawed in half. It’s a classic in the human world and I bake a mean square cake,” Liam suggested.
“Sawing someone in half would be amazing,” Piper said excitedly. “You get started on the buttercream and I’ll get started on the batter.”
Piper and Liam rushed around the kitchen like they had been cooking together forever. She was definitely in the zone. Liam was whipping up the buttercream frosting like a champ while Piper focused on the batter. She was about to grease the pans when Zelda interrupted her concentration.
“One hour left,” Zelda yelled. She walked over to the judges and took a seat. “Can you believe they’re both doing jalapeno cakes?”
“I’m not sure why they chose those particular flavors. Maybe they think it’s easier to blend with the cake. I don’t,” Jeeves said.
“Jeeves, everything you make is delicious. We know you would rock any of those ingredients,” Zelda said. “Bakers, you have thirty minutes.”
“I have to agree with Jeeves. I’m concerned that the jalapenos are going to overpower everything and all you have left is jalapeno cake,” Marge said.
Piper looked over at Elise who had a panicked look on her face. Her cake didn’t look right. She was shocked when her nemesis dumped the cake in the trash and started over again. There was only thirty minutes left on the clock and Silas was of no help. He was sitting on his ass bitching and griping. What did she see in that guy?
“Focus, sweetheart,” Liam whispered.
Piper popped her neck and started working on her guys face, which was being created out of modeling chocolate in order to give it a look of fear. She had just finished the face when the timer on the oven beeped. She rushed over to grab the cakes out of the oven. Liam had finished the buttercream frosting and was working on rolling out the fondant. He was following her instructions to the letter and it was working.
“Ten minutes left bakers,” Zelda bellowed.
While the cakes were cooling, she finished helping Liam roll out the fondant. Their lines had to be clean or the judges would eat them alive. She’d seen it time and time again. When she glanced over at Elise, she was wiping a bead of sweat off her forehead. The woman looked a little haggard.
Piper finished the saw that would cut the guy in half. Liam laid the first layer of fondant on the first half of the cake. Piper made sure their edges were clean as she added the guy’s head. Liam did the same for the second half of the cake and then added his feet. When they tried to place both pieces of the cake on the board, it was too big.
“How are we going to make it fit?” Piper asked.
“One-minute left. That’s it, bakers. One-minute left,” Zelda yelled.
“Let’s angle the cake. He’s cut in half anyway. It’ll look like the magician turned him so the audience could see he’d been split in half,” Liam suggested.
“I like that idea. Let’s do it. Hurry, the clock is about to run out.
The judges and the audience started counting down. “Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five. Four. Three. Two. One.”
Piper felt like her heart was about to explode. This was it. She finished cleaning up the lines on the cake as fast as she could. She wiped away the bead of sweat with her forearm.
“Hands off your cakes,” Zelda demanded in a voice that brokered no argument.
Piper and Liam immediately raised their hands in the air and took a step back from their cake. Liam pulled her into his arms for a quick hug. They’d done it. Now it was time for the judges to decide.
“Great job, bakers. Well, some of you did a good job,” Zelda said as she glared at Silas. “In this Batter Up challenge, the judges wanted a mini cake that honored a magician’s tools of the trade with a surprising flavor twist. Yada, yada, yada, yada, yada. Bring me a plate and some utensils. It’s time to eat these cakes instead of talking about them. Elise, you’re up. What did you bake?” Zelda asked.
“We did a vintage red magic book along with a crystal ball, playing cards and a magic wand. In front of you is a yellow corn cake with a camembert cream cheese icing and a jalapeno jelly filling.” Elise watched as each judge took a bite of her cake.
“The jalapeno jelly is very strong. You should have used less of it in the cake. The vintage magic book is aesthetically pleasing. It draws you in and it’s fun,” Marge said.
Jeeves took another sip of his water. “My first bite had a lot of jalapeno jelly. I also have a problem with your icing. I think you could have taken the camembert and whipped that with the sugar because it gets lost in the cream cheese. I loved the colors and vibrancy of your cake. You do wood grain wonderfully. But I didn’t know that was a crystal ball. It looked like a paper weight on top of the book.”
“I liked that you chose a magic book because that’s where the secrets of magic are kept. However, the crystal ball reminds me more of a fortune teller than magic. But I have to agree with the other judges about the jalapeno jelly. It overpowered the cake and was all I tasted. Your design is the only thing preventing me from blowing your ass to smithereens,” Sassy said with a wink.
“I won’t be taking your cake home Elise,” Zelda said. “Piper, you’re up next. Tell us about your cake.”
“We decided to design a box where someone is sawing somebody in half. We have baked a carrot cake with jalapenos to tempt your palate. It has a cream cheese swiss meringue buttercream,” Piper explained with confidence and pride.
Jeeves was the first to take a bite of Piper’s cake. “I was very skeptical about your choice of carrot cake and jalapenos. But you get the essence of the carrot cake and jalapenos and it’s actually really, really delicious. I also like that you kept your design element simple. The detailed work on his face is excellent. He looks terrified, as well he should. You did a great job.”
“I agree with Chef Jeeves,” Zelda murmured around a slice of cake. “This is the shitz. That’s with a z.”
Marge took a second bite of Piper’s cake and moaned. “I was a little nervous about the jalapenos because I thought they would overpower the flavor in your cake. I would have chosen another spice to bring out the heat, but the jalapenos hit the right note to my surprise. You were smart to keep your decorations simple and concentrate on the flavor. I totally got your design. Well done.”
“I agree with Marge and my honey bear, Jeeves. The cake is amazing,” Sassy said around another bite. “You’ve chosen a classical illusion and knocked it out of the park. Awesome job! I’m glad I don’t have to blow your bony ass up.”
“Thank you, Piper. Please join the other contestant and we’ll see you in a few minutes,” Zelda instructed.
The audience waited with bated breath while the judges made their decision. You could cut the tension in the air with a knife. The judges seemed to enjoy Piper and Liam’s cake, but it was still a close round. Everything was on the line. Piper’s bakery, twenty-five thousand dollars and the Bayou. Their fates were in the judges’ hands.
“Baker’s this was a very close round. Now, the judges are going to do some magic of their own and make one of you disappear. In the end, flavor won over design. Elise, it’s time for you to leave The Great Wiccan Cake Off. Congratulations, Piper!”
“Hey, that’s not fair. She cheated,” Elise yelled.
Sparkles in a rainbow of colors whipped through the sound stage blowing everyone against the wall. Baba Yaga and her minions were back.
Zelda glared at the seventy’s reject. “For fuck’s sake Baba Yaga, warn a girl the next time.”
“Where would be the fun in that Zelda?” Baba Yaga asked with a smirk. “Besides, I’m here on business. It seems that Annalise has been a bad, bad witch. Or should I say Elise? Isn’t that you name honey?”
Elise looked back and forth between Zelda and Baba Yaga. Maybe, she could make a run for it.
Baba Yaga sighed in disgust. “Why do they always run?”
* * *
I call upon the witching hour
To bind this evil witch’s powers
Who refuses to submit to a higher power
And constantly abuses her own powers
I summon her before the Witches’ Council
To atone for her misuse of powers
Should she choose to remain in denial
She’ll suffer the ultimate witch’s trial
Three times three
It’s time to pay the Piper
Three times three
So mote it be
* * *
Piper watched in stunned silence as Baba Yaga’s minions disappeared with a screaming, horrified Elise. “What the hell just happened?”
“When a witch abuses her powers, she must always pay for her crimes. Keep that in mind, Piper dear,” Baba Yaga warned. “Silas will no longer be an issue, Liam. Good luck fulfilling the rest of the prophecy. You’re going to need it,” Baba Yaga said with a wink, and then she was gone.
Piper turned and gave Liam a questioning look. “What prophecy? Start talking now, Liam Alexander.”
Epilogue
Six months later
Liam had to come clean about the prophecy or run the risk of losing Piper forever, thanks to Baba Yaga and her meddling. The old hag really knew how to throw a wrench in a guy’s plan. Not that he really had one. He had never intended to keep the prophecy a secret. His intent was always to tell Piper when the time was right. Maybe after they had been married for a decade or two. But things did not always go as planned. Over the years, he had learned that lesson the hard way.
Piper was rightfully upset when she learned the terms of the prophecy. The hardest part had been not telling her cousins about it. Even though her aunts had come to Liam’s defense and explained why the prophecy had to remain a secret, she had still threatened to cut his balls off once or twice over the course of the last six months. The honeymoon phase was definitely over. It took a lot of groveling, flowers and lovemaking to win her over, but it was a price Liam was willing to pay.