Not Even if You Begged

by Francis Ray

  Opening the door, she closed it quietly behind her, feeling drained until she saw Jason’s hopeful face. It was like looking into a mirror. She’d worn the same look until she’d wised up. Her mother would never love her. She’d survived. If not for her grandfather, she might not have.

  Everyone needed someone who believed in them, loved them. She’d finally realized that. “Jason, if Maureen can spare you tomorrow, I’ll pick you up and you can meet Clint Herd. You play your cards right, and he might even let you sketch him.”

  His eyes rounded like saucers. “Really? You aren’t kidding me?”

  “I never kid. Now, let’s get you home.” She started from the store. Grinning, he ran to keep up with her. She grinned back.

  “Cagney and Lacey ride again,” Ryan teased.

  Traci swatted at him and missed as she finished setting the table for dinner in her kitchen that night. “We simply did what we had to do. I just hope his mother wakes up before it’s too late.”

  “Her loss. But he’s got Cagney and Lacey on his side.”

  She lifted a delicate brow. “Keep that up, and you won’t get any supper.”

  He kissed her on the neck. “I’ll just nibble on you.”

  She sighed with pleasure, and leaned her head over to allow him to continue. “You have a wicked mouth.”

  “Glad you approve.” He dropped another kiss on her bare shoulder. “I like this top.” He hooked his finger in the scooped neck and began pulling it down, his warm lips following.

  “No.” She scooted away, licked her lips. Drawing a calming breath, she went to the stove for the pork loin. “Because of you, I missed breakfast. Because of helping Jason, I missed lunch. I am not missing dinner. I’m starving.”

  “I’m starving for you, but I’ll refrain.” He grinned at her. “I don’t want you wasting away.”

  Traci stopped dead still. She hadn’t thought about her weight since the night he’d brought flowers. “That’s not about to happen.”

  He frowned. “Traci?”

  She placed the dish on the waiting rack on the table. “I’ll get the salad.”

  His hand on her arm stopped her. “We don’t sidestep around it.”

  Her chin jutted. She swallowed the lump in her throat. “You knew I wasn’t an Iman clone when we started dating.”

  “That’s right, I did.”

  The lump in her throat became bigger, but she refused to drop her gaze. “It would take more than a few meals to have me wasting away.”

  He stared at her hard, then grabbed her hand and started from the kitchen. “I need to show you something.”

  She tried to pull her hand free, but it didn’t do any good. In the powder room off the kitchen, he positioned her in front of the mirror and stepped behind her. She glanced away.

  “Look at yourself.”

  Inside, she was shattering. “I’ve seen it.”

  “No, you haven’t, so I’ll tell you what I see. You have a lush figure that I can’t get enough of, hips that get me hot. Breasts that are full and tempting.”

  Her head came up. Their gaze locked in the mirror.

  “Then there’s what I can’t see.” He touched the side of her head with one finger. “The intelligence, the loving, caring nature, the determination to succeed, the insecurity that you try to hide from everyone, but I see it and it makes me care for you more.” His hands anchored her waist. “You’re beautiful, desirable. I don’t ever want to hear you say differently.”

  She finally got the lump out of her throat. “You’re awfully bossy tonight.”

  “You haven’t seen anything yet.” Grabbing her hand, he started back to the kitchen. “Wait until we’re both naked in bed.”

  She smiled. She couldn’t wait.

  Simon didn’t like what he’d just been told.

  Disconnecting his cell, he went back to the table for two at the quaint little restaurant where he’d taken Maureen for dinner. He’d asked to be notified on the outcome of the police questioning of Miguel.

  “Is everything all right?” she asked when he took his seat.

  “Depends on how you look at it,” he said, then explained. “Miguel’s probation was revoked. His were the only set of identifiable prints on the paper. He’ll be eighteen by the time his trial starts. He’s looking at some serious jail time.”

  “You’d hoped to save him,” Maureen said quietly.

  “Yeah. Unfortunately, prison sometimes makes the criminal worse. It certainly won’t be easy for him to find a job once he gets out.”

  “You gave him a chance. He didn’t take it.” She put her hand on his closed fist. “In life, sometimes we only get one chance.”

  He kissed her hand. “I’m glad I was presented with two chances to get to know you, but I wished it had been under different circumstances.”

  “I suppose,” she mused and picked up her fork. “But I wonder if I would have kept saying no if I hadn’t gotten to see you around people. You have a way that puts them at ease.”

  “Thank you, but I had an extra incentive.” He bit into his red snapper. “I wanted you to feel comfortable enough to go out with me.”

  “It worked. I guess Patrick and Brianna are getting excited about the wedding this weekend.”

  Simon chuckled. “They’re trying to combine two households and two closets. It’s a good thing Patrick doesn’t like clothes as well as Rafael.”

  “Your youngest brother?”

  “Yes. He has the pretty boy looks that keep him in hot water trying to juggle the ladies.” Simon polished off his fish. “He definitely believes in quantity instead of quality.”

  “Sounds like the way Ryan used to be before he met Traci.”

  “The right person will do that to you. Others simply don’t exist anymore.”

  “I know,” she said softly.

  Simon’s body hardened before he took his next breath. Maureen got to him in the best possible way. “What do you say we get out of here?”

  “I’d say lead the way.”

  Traci was sated with good food and good loving, and she had a confession to make.

  “Ryan,” she said from her position of lying atop him. She didn’t think she’d ever get used to being with him this way. He didn’t turn purple, his eyes weren’t bulging because of her weight. In fact, he looked as contented as she felt.

  “Yes?” He threaded his fingers through her hair, which was probably a mess, but he was looking at her as if she were beautiful. She could get used to this, this connection that went beyond the incredible sex.

  “I have a confession to make.” She traced an imaginary heart on his chest.

  He cocked a brow. “What else did you and Mother do?”

  Tucking her head, she drew their initials inside the heart before she answered. “It’s about me.”

  Long, elegant fingers moved her chin until he could look her in the eyes. “I’m listening.”

  That was another thing she liked about Ryan, his patience. Well, in some things at least. “You might have been able to look beyond the surface to the person beneath, but it was your body that caught my attention.” She tucked her head again. “I guess I’m shallow.”

  He hugged her, then rolled until they were facing each other. “Glad it did, but I think you’re selling yourself short again. You’re around a lot of men better built, better looking, and with more money than I have, yet you didn’t go out with any of them.”

  “A lot of them were married or had egos the size of Texas.”

  “That still leaves a fair number. And I’ll bet they asked.”

  They had, and she had turned all of them down flat. “Men and dating weren’t high on my list.”

  “Because of your first marriage?” he asked gently.

  “I wasn’t happy,” she confessed. “We both married each other for the wrong reasons. I wanted someone to show off and he wanted a business partner who knew law and had marketing skills. I’d worked for a PR firm before I went to law school. See, I’m
shallow.”

  “I’ve dated women in the past because they looked good or were of the same social class or came from the ‘right’ family,” he told her. “We both grew.”

  He accepted so easily, understood her fears. “Maybe, but I still think you have a hot bod.”

  “So is yours.” Rolling on top of her, he braced his hands beside her shoulders and began trailing kisses over her face, down her neck to her breast. He took the pebbled point into his mouth and suckled. She felt the pull in the core of her body. Restlessly, she twisted beneath him. He answered, joined them with one thrust. Her legs wrapped around his, pulling him deeper into her heat.

  Pleasure rolled through her as he stroked her, loved her. They went over together. Sighing, her arms still around him, she drifted to sleep.

  His head propped on the palm of his hand, Ryan watched Traci sleep.

  Her face was soft. A smile teased her kissable mouth. He wished she could see herself through his eyes. He adored her. The attraction to her had surprised him. But there was an indefinable something about her that tugged at his heart. Perhaps it was the vulnerability she hid behind a tough façade or the loneliness he’d glimpsed in her eyes. Or that she didn’t cater to him.

  He smiled to himself. More likely than not, she’d chew his butt out on general principle. She let very few people get past the wall she’d put up. Her husband had hurt her deeply, but Ryan had a feeling it had started before that. One day, he hoped she trusted him enough to tell him why she was so skeptical of love and people.

  One thing he hoped he had heard the last of was her thinking he saw her as any way except desirable and beautiful. She was everything he wanted in a woman, and he planned to prove it to her every chance he got.

  Reaching over, he turned off the lamp on the nightstand, pulled Traci into his arms, and followed her into slumber.

  Traci couldn’t believe she had an invitation to the wedding.

  “I know this is gauche, but I wanted to ask you in person. Please say you’ll come.”

  Traci stared at Brianna, who had talked her way into seeing her without an appointment, and her fiancé, the handsome man beside her. He, more than Brianna, had gained them entry. Her secretary was a sucker for handsome, well-built men.

  “Dr. Gilmore already has his invitation, and we wanted to make sure you knew you were expected and welcomed,” Brianna said. “Maureen is coming with Simon.”

  Traci received few invitations that weren’t business related. “You want me to go because of Ryan?”

  “Because, despite how dreadful I was to you, you asked Dr. Gilmore to reconsider and be my doctor.” Brianna smiled. “I’d like to know the other Traci.”

  “There’s only one.” She prided herself on being known as hard-nosed.

  “I don’t think so,” Brianna said thoughtfully. “And I mean this in the nicest way this time, but if you were as heartless as I thought, Dr. Gilmore wouldn’t be dating you.”

  Ryan made her want to be better, for herself, for him. “I accept, and I thank you.”

  “Thank you.” Patrick handed her the invitation. “We’ll be looking for you.”

  Traci came around her desk. “You’ll be too busy looking at each other to notice anyone else.”

  He gazed down at Brianna as she gazed up at him. “There is a distinct possibility you’re right. I can’t wait for Brianna to be my wife.”

  “I feel the same,” Brianna said. “Coming back to Charleston was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.”

  “The first obviously was saying ‘yes’ to Patrick’s proposal,” Traci said, wondering if Brianna realized her slip. She was further along in her pregnancy than the time she had been back in Charleston and met Patrick.

  “You have that right.” Brianna faced Traci. “Good-bye, and thanks again. By the way, you’re receiving a little thank-you today.”

  “Good-bye.” Patrick pulled Brianna into his arms and they left.

  Traci stared at the door. There was the distinct possibility that the baby Brianna was carrying wasn’t Patrick’s, but no one had to tell Traci that Patrick would fight anyone who said differently. He loved the woman, he’d love the baby.

  Perhaps everlasting love was possible. Perhaps she’d been wrong. She certainly hoped so because, despite her best intentions, she was falling in love with Ryan.

  This was not supposed to be happening.

  Sitting between Ryan and Maureen in the beautifully decorated church, listening to Brianna and Patrick exchange their vows, Traci wondered what it would feel like to be loved by a good man. Perhaps, if she didn’t feel the heat and hardness of Ryan’s body pressed against hers from shoulder to thigh, feel the strength of his hand as he held hers, her mind wouldn’t have contemplated such an idiotic thought.

  Men cheated.

  She knew that as well as she knew her own name. Yet, there was Patrick in a tuxedo, promising to love and honor a woman who carried another man’s child—if Traci’s theory was correct. His love and devotion to Brianna were obvious. He didn’t appear to be the straying type. Brianna wouldn’t put up with a phony.

  Simon handed Patrick the ring and Traci looked at Maureen out of the corner of her eye. Her friend’s face softened with tenderness. Maureen might have told herself that sexual attraction brought her and Simon together, but Traci knew more than that kept them together. She’d been out with Maureen on a number of occasions. Men tried to hit on her all the time. She had never paid any of them any attention until Simon.

  Maureen might be in just as much trouble as Traci found herself. The question remained: What, if anything, did they plan to do about it?

  “You may kiss the bride.”

  Traci looked at Ryan instead of the newly married couple. Heat zipped through her. His gaze was trained on her with affection and desire. Emotions tugged at her. What would it feel like to let herself go, to stop guarding her heart?

  His smile filled with warmth. Bringing her hand to his mouth, he kissed her before God and anyone who cared to look. He wasn’t ashamed to let the world know they were together. He could have his pick of women, yet he was with her. She could worry about the day he would move on or just enjoy.

  “Ladies and gentlemen, may I present Mr. and Mrs. Patrick Dunlap.”

  Smiling broadly, the newlyweds raced back down the isle. Applauding, the audience came to their feet. The radiant happiness of the bride and the groom made Traci say a little prayer that they were one of the lucky couples. As Ryan slipped his arm around her waist, Traci couldn’t help saying a little prayer for herself.

  For the first time in her life, Maureen was unsure of herself in a social situation.

  Simon might not be concerned with her age, but she couldn’t believe his family would feel the same way. Walking to her car with Ryan and Traci, Maureen tried not to worry, but she couldn’t help herself.

  She’d tried on clothes for the past week, trying to decide what to wear. She didn’t want to look as if she’d tried too hard to be young—or matronly either. She’d finally settled on an ice-blue suit with a long skirt and a small hat with a touch of lace. The hat was a bit of vanity. A persistent line on her forehead stubbornly refused to yield to any of the antiaging, antiwrinkle creams she’d invested in.

  “Maureen.”

  Her heart skipped a beat. Simon. Stopping, her grip on her small purse tightening, she turned to see him racing toward her. In a tux, he moved with a fluid grace and looked gorgeous. Several women obviously thought the same thing as they openly watched his progress. They probably thought she was an aunt or something.

  “Hi, Ryan. Traci.” He took Maureen’s hand. “You can ride to the reception with us.”

  The shock of him taking her hand in front of Ryan was overshadowed by one word. “Us?”

  “My oldest brother and his wife have a car,” Simon explained. “They want to meet you.”

  Panic assailed Maureen. What if they thought she was too old? The entire ride to the downtown hotel where the rec
eption was being held would be awkward for everyone. “We’re almost to the car. I’ll meet you there.”

  The smile slid from his face. “I thought you’d enjoy going with us.”

  Maureen hated seeing the disappointment in his face, but better that than embarrassment. “I’ll see you there.”

  “Yo, Simon. Big bro said for you to grab your lady, and let’s ride.”

  Maureen peeked around Simon’s broad shoulder to see a walking angel. Wavy black hair framed an angelically beautiful face, which was in direct contrast to the wicked smile he wore.

  “Hello.” He extended his manicured hand. “You must be Maureen. I’m Rafael Dunlap.”

  “Hello.” She automatically extended hers, but Simon caught it. She frowned up at him.

  “Rafael should have been born a couple of centuries ago. He’s a throwback,” Simon said. “He thinks it’s cool to kiss a woman’s hand.”

  “I happen to admire and adore women.” He smiled at Traci. “I’m Rafael.”

  “Traci Evans,” was all Traci got out before Ryan pulled her back to his side.

  “She’s taken.”

  “Pity. Every beautiful woman here seems to be,” he said with real regret.

  “You have enough women after you,” Simon told him without heat.

  “I don’t think that’s possible. Big brother is waiting. See you ladies later when you aren’t being guarded so closely.” Whistling, he strode back up the street.

  “If he wasn’t such a good kid at heart, I could really dislike him.” Simon turned to Maureen. “I’d really want you to go with us. I’ve told them a lot about you.”

  “Go on, Maureen. We’ll meet you there,” Traci urged.

  Maureen considered refusing, then realized there was no way she could delay the inevitable. What difference did it make if they met her now or fifteen minutes from now? She might as well get it over with. “All right.”

  “Great.” Simon curved his arm around his waist, his other hand tugging at his tie. “I’ll be glad when I can take this thing off. All of the groomsmen have orders from Patrick, who has strict orders from Brianna, that the ties stay until after the first dance. Here we are.”