by T L Harty
“Why didn’t someone just go into an Oris meeting,” I wondered, “and speak with my grandmother?”
“There are a lot of organizations out there that make wild claims,” Deidra shared. “It’s hard to believe that even the Oris foundation is a solid group.”
“Oh,” I said, to Deidra, “but, all of this…this feels right? This place, these people are a solid group that you are ready to pledge your whole life to? Let them tell you who to marry? How the rest of your life will go?”
I stormed out of the gym. Deidra called after me, but I was in no mood to listen. It was only five minutes after flopping down on my bed that Macy entered the room, joining me. We both laid there in silence looking up toward the ceiling.
“I understand how you feel,” Macy broke the silence.
I looked over at her and back at the ceiling. “I doubt it,” I decided.
“You’re feeling vulnerable,” Macy said. “You may not even know that’s what’s frustrating you.”
Macy’s style of training was already quite different from the other women. She made that comment and then we were silent for a good ten minutes. It was just enough time for her statement to worm its way into my thoughts.
“Why do you think I’m vulnerable?” I wondered.
“How could you not be?” she answered, with a question. “You’re away from home. You just lost your grandparents. Everyone is telling you how the rest of your life is going to play out, and Deidra’s, too. Your marriage is ending, and you must feel like everything is beyond your control. Does that sound about right?”
“Very accurate,” I agreed.
She leaned toward me, on her elbow. “You need to get your power back,” she suggested, “and make some decisions about your own life. How about we meet with Rick and Lorrah in just two days? I have a game plan that just may do the trick, making you feel more empowered. It will lift your spirits. I promise.” Macy was very excited about the prospect.
Admittedly, my enthusiasm was not on the same level. “O.K.,” I said.
Before Macy lay back down, she nodded towards the phone. “No time like the present,” she hinted.
As I reached for the bedside phone to make the meeting with Rick official, Deidra walked into the room, lying between Macy and me. It was a short phone conversation with Lorrah, as Rick was still at work. The meeting place would be at a Vermont restaurant that Rick and I would frequent on the way to his parent’s house. Just like men in westerns tended to do, we would meet at high noon. I could picture all four of us in cowboy hats, ready for a duel. Macy would definitely pull the look off better than any of us.
“So,” Macy said, “how about we show up a little late for the meeting, just to let them know you’re in control.”
Both Deidra and I looked in Macy’s direction. “My mom is never late,” Deidra said. “She has too much of her grandmother in her. If we show up on time, that would freak my dad out just as much because she’s usually 15 minutes early for everything.” Macy and Deidra had a laugh at my expense.
“She’s a wild one, that mother of yours,” Macy added.
“Am I going with you?” Deidra asked.
“No,” Macy responded. “Your mom should tackle this one alone. Do you miss your dad?”
“Sometimes,” Deidra answered, “if I’m being honest.”
“Don’t ever feel bad about missing him,” Macy instructed. “He’s your dad and just because he has messed some things up, doesn’t mean that he ever stopped loving you.”
As they both carried on a conversation, a quick succession of visions came to me. Lorrah had not told Rick about her pregnancy. She hid her test and wasn’t honest about where she was during her doctor appointments. After experiencing some morning sickness, she blamed a bad meal. Regardless of the circumstance of their affair, I could see in my visions that they genuinely seemed to care for one another.
Deidra hugged me. “I’m going to go see what Bruce is doing,” she said. “Have a good training session with Macy.”
“When we meet with Lorrah and Rick in a couple of days,” Macy explained. “I’m going to ask you to do a few things that might make you uncomfortable. But, anything you do can be reversed at a later date if you change your mind. This will be an exercise to bring out the warrior in you. You need to trust me.”
“I’ll try,” I said. “Would you tell me more about your gift and how it works?”
“Hmm,” Macy pondered. “It’s a strange gift, but one that you should acquire eventually, with enough training. I can recognize victors. It’s much like your gift of the green hue, except the hue I see is purple. Similarly, if someone will not be victorious, they appear with a grey shroud of color.”
“Will you be able to tell the outcome between me and Rick?” I asked.
“Sure,” Macy responded. “You are putting off some seriously grey hues right now. But when the time comes, I’ll be seeing nothing but purple. We better start going over scenarios.”
“Wait a minute,” I interrupted. “Give me an example of the last time you used your gift. I’m not sure I understand.”
“Well,” she started, “you can’t tell anyone about this. When we were getting ready to vote for you to come here, I saw that Bridget’s hue was grey and everyone else’s was purple. Bridget couldn’t be the only one on the council to vote no. She gets very sensitive about stuff like that. So, I voted no.”
I turned my head to look at Macy. “That was very sweet of you,” I told her, surprised.
“Let’s not share that with anyone,” she said. “I prefer that my reputation of being difficult stays intact.”
“We know when politicians are going to win elections,” Macy shared. “I see victory in many things: sports teams, skirmishes between countries, everyday arguments…you name it.”
“That must be amazing!” I said, in awe.
“No,” she contradicted. “I’d prefer not to be aware of many of life’s outcomes.”
“Why is that?” I asked, confused.
“It takes the excitement and suspense out of a good portion of everyday life,” Macy answered. “You know that fluttering feeling in your stomach when you’re not sure what’s going to happen?”
“Yes,” I said.
“I don’t,” Macy informed, flatly.
Macy didn’t say that expecting sympathy or pity. As a matter of fact, had I given her any of either, she probably would’ve gotten angry.
“What if a person will have multiple challenges in one day?” I wondered. “Can you sort through which challenges they will win and lose? Can a person have both purple and grey hues?”
“This time isn’t supposed to be about me,” Macy responded.
“You say I’ll have this gift eventually,” I pointed out. “It’s about me. Not everything is about you, Macy.” I smiled, knowing she would be irritated that I accused her of such a thing.
“Very funny,” she said, unamused. “I have to concentrate on a certain scenario to receive the right hue. If a challenge is coming up immediately, the hue is brighter- whether purple or grey. And, yes, one person can have many hues.”
“We’ve got a couple of hours before I meet up with Bruce,” Macy announced. “So, let’s see what we can do to improve that grey hue of yours.”
“I have to say,” I stated, “training in bed is my favorite.”
For the next couple of hours, Macy and I talked strategy. It was like planning a battle. In my mind, the conversations were pictured as sword thrusts. Macy talked about steps necessary to achieve my desired outcome. There were elements of the plan that I wasn’t sure I’d be able to pull off, but Macy encouraged me to try.
Bruce knocked on the open door of my bedroom. “Deidra said I might find you up here, Macy,” he said, looking as handsome as ever. “Are you ready to go? I was thinking we could go into Magog.”
When all my troubles with Rick were over, Bruce was my desired outcome, to be sure. I looked at Macy, practically begging to be invited.
“Magog sounds good,” Macy agreed. “How about you stay here?” she suggested, looking at me. “Use your visions, wisdom or whatever it takes to ready yourself for the meeting.” She rolled over, whispering in my ear, “If you need motivation, remember that once your dealings with Rick are over…that leaves Bruce.”
Macy was right. We both peered over at Bruce. “You’re absolutely right,” I agreed.
“Right about what?” he asked, a little agitated.
“That even though you’re Irish, green really isn’t your color,” I said.
“Yes!” Macy exclaimed, smacking her hand down on the bed, and rising to a sitting position. “That is the kind of quick thinking that is going to have me seeing purple! Keep up the good work.” The two of us laughed, while Bruce furrowed his brow. He knew we were not discussing his shirt.
They left the room to go out for the evening. My stomach was growling, but I’d missed the normal serving time. I went down for some cheese and grapes to quiet my rumbling belly. After eating a little something, I retired to my room, taking a much-needed, hot shower. Thinking…plotting…perfecting.
Deidra came in later to bid me goodnight. She was the best thing about my life, hands down.
“Do you want to sleep in the same room tonight?” she wondered.
“Oh, honey,” I said, “that would be great for another night. There won’t be a lot of sleep going on in this room tonight. I’d just keep you up.”
“O.K. then,” she said. “Goodnight.”
We hugged and kissed each other’s cheeks. “I love you, Deidra. Sleep well.”
As she shut the door behind her, I climbed into bed. And there, in the darkness, promised myself that being vulnerable was no longer an option. It was high time to get battle-ready, experiment with my gifts…and begin to accept that purple may just be my color after all.
Chapter 18- Interrogation
“You’re the first boy my daughter has introduced me to,” Dad informed Jed. “I thought that it would be fun or interesting, but I don’t care for it.”
Poor Jed had no idea how to respond to that. “Um, well, I’m glad I’m not the fifteenth boy she’s brought home,” Jed said, laughing nervously.
“Ya, that’s super funny,” Dad said, angrily.
“Whoa, whoa,” I interjected, standing up. “We played this little game in my sociology class where we get to ask a person a question and, after they answer, they get to ask a question. There are no opinions allowed, just facts. Let’s play for a while,” I continued, nervously. “Jed you ask my dad the first question.”
Jed froze, as my Dad just bore into him with his gaze. That ice blue glare was intense enough outside of this situation. Poor Jed may not stand a chance.
“Do you like your job?” Jed asked.
“Yes,” Dad answered.
“No, no,” I interrupted. “You have to ask open-ended questions, ones that can’t be easily answered with a yes or no.”
Jed looked frustrated, before asking, “What is the best part of your job?”
“Advertising is a creative job,” Dad replied. “I like that we are able to add a personal touch to the work. It really makes me feel involved. My turn- what are your intentions with Muriel?”
“Dad!” I protested.
“No you don’t,” Dad told me. “I’m completely following the rules. That was not a yes or no question, nor does it have anything to do with opinions.”
“He makes a good point,” Jed agreed. “I really don’t mind answering that question.” He took my hand in his, smiling in a way that calmed me down immediately. Jed then bravely looked right at my father. “I love your daughter,” he started. “My intention is to get better at loving her every day. I’m not going to pretend I know what that means because we’re both young. But my goal, Mr. Cavenaugh, is to never make her doubt how much she means to me.”
You could hear a pin could drop in the room after his answer. It was the most beautiful four sentences I’d ever heard strung together. Nervously looking over at my dad, I saw that his eyes were a bit watery.
Dad quickly stood up. “That’s enough of this silly game, Muriel. I’m going to use the restroom before we go eat,” he said. “Jed must be hungry from the drive.”
After Dad left the room, my head snapped in Jed’s direction. “That was the best answer!” I said. “You must have been perfecting that during the whole ride here.”
“Actually,” Jed informed, “It’s really close to what I was going to tell my dad two years ago, the night after the fair.”
Before Dad could return, I gave Jed a big kiss. He pulled away, understandably nervous about the circumstances, but I couldn’t resist.
“Everyone ready to go?” Dad asked, when he returned.
We all stood to go out for our first meal.
Over the course of the next couple of months, my dad warmed to Jed. So much so, that he would often take Jed’s side in a disagreement or be the deciding vote so Jed got his way. Jed became the son my father never had.
As much as I enjoyed their bond, it started to eat away at the time Jed and I would spend together. When Dad got invited to go on a sail or attend a sporting event, he always called Jed to see if he would like to go. The fact that Dad was calling my boyfriend at all was an oddity. Some of the girls in school had boyfriends and believed my dad’s relationship with my boyfriend was a little over the top. Their bond was so tight; in fact, that if we broke up, I believe they would still keep in touch.
Jed and Dad came to a lot of my volleyball and basketball games together. At half time, during a basketball game, I spied the two of them in the stands. They were laughing, and Dad put his arm around Jed. That’s settled; I thought to myself, I’m going to have to marry him.
The relationship they shared was the envy of all who saw them together. Jed was never close to his own father, and Dad became a father figure and friend to Jed. Although, the bond between them became an issue as the holidays approached. Jed was expected to go home for Thanksgiving and Christmas, but he wanted to stay with us. His mother was heartbroken.
Jed gave his mom a choice. One holiday would be spent with us in the bay area, and one would be spent in the foothills. His mom chose Christmas, and she insisted Jed stay home with his family for a week. We all thought that seemed reasonable, but still dreaded the time he wouldn’t be with us.
Jed had a dorm room on campus. But, on numerous occasions, Dad would suggest that Jed sleep in the den. There were nights I snuck down to the den. If my dad was on the ball, he would’ve caught us canoodling in the den from time to time. However, it crossed my mind that he liked Jed so much; Dad may have overlooked it all.
Jed and I wanted our first time to be special and free of the anxious thoughts that we could be caught. We planned to make love for the first time on New Year’s Eve. Jed got permission from Dad to keep me out late. We would rent a hotel room early, have a nice dinner and make love. Both of us were impatiently awaiting the day.
There were a couple of holidays we’d need to get through first. Jed held up beautifully during Thanksgiving. He met my Uncle Dean, my dad’s brother, who had just gotten out of jail. He joked the whole day about how the food would have been better if he stayed in prison. Dean had this ability, with very little effort, to be a colossal ass.
Jed met my grandfather on my dad’s side who just stared at Jed most of the day. My grandfather may have thought he was intimidating, but after a while- he was just drunk. When Dad decided his father had enough wine, he was relegated to the corner chair in the living room.
My mother also made a special appearance. It could only be qualified as “special” because it was very short…just enough time to embarrass herself by hitting on Jed and mooching money off my dad. She may have smuggled out a pumpkin pie, too, but there were no witnesses. My dad’s sister and her husband came over later for dessert. I didn’t see them very often. They were more well-adjusted than the rest of the family, and must have dreaded the obligatory visit.
After all the guests had gone, Jed and I started cleaning up. “So, how badly do you wish you would have gone home for Thanksgiving?” I asked Jed.
“Not at all,” he answered. “Being away from you is going to be miserable at Christmas.”
“I’m only trying to concentrate on New Year’s,” I said, smiling.
“You are a bad girl,” Jed joked.
“For your sake, that would be a good thing,” I informed.
“What are you two laughing about over here?” Dad asked, putting his arms around the two of us at the sink.
“Just holidays,” Jed replied.
“What is your Thanksgiving like?” Dad asked Jed.
Jed started to explain his family dynamics, but after a few minutes they were both sitting down watching football in the other room. The dishes were now mine to complete.
Jed stayed overnight in the den like so many nights before, but sneaking downstairs was not an option. Even as Dad’s snoring could be heard through the walls, I stayed in bed. Things between Jed and I had gotten out of control a couple of times before. But, because he tolerated my family so well today (which only made me love him that much more), I would want to show him my appreciation. It was imperative to stay put if New Year’s Eve was going to be special.
After Thanksgiving, school got busy for both Jed and I. We would sneak in a movie or a meal once a week, but we needed to prepare for finals before Christmas break. Being in love didn’t do a whole lot for our grade point averages. And even though we wanted to be together all the time, it was useless to try to study together- we shared no similar subject matter in any of our classes.
Jed had the daunting task of figuring out which week he was going to spend at home. The way the dates worked, Jed told his mom that he would come for the week before Christmas. Then, he could leave Christmas day to travel back to school. His mom was not accepting that. Jed struck a bargain with his mother. He would arrive on the 20th and leave the 26th.
Jed, not wanting us to be apart, even asked my dad if I could go with him. It was definitely the thought that counted. Dad obviously said no. Besides, Jed’s family had no idea that we were dating. There was no need to tell them for a while…maybe next summer when we would want to see each other over school break.