Fugitive's Trail

by Robert J Conley

  I did manage to keep up my practice with my six-gun, though, and the boys had plenty a opportunities to watch me knock cans off a fenceposts and bounce rocks around and such. One time a rattlesnake skeered a cowboy’s horse, and I whipped out my ole shooter and tuck that rattler’s head clean off with just one shot. ‘Course, they had all heared about the time I had shot the left ear off a old Cutter’s head, and they had also heared that I had been forced to leave my previous job ’cause of a killing I had did. So I was knowed all around as a real genu-wine bad-ass gunfighter, even though I still looked most like a snot-nosed kid, which I guess I really was, even though I could shoot a gun and weren’t skeered a no one nor nothing.

  It was kind a funny right at the first, ’cause some a the folks in town and some a the Lazy Snakes hands too thought for a spell there that ole Holster had done gone and hired hisself on the real, honest-to-God Billy the Kid. It was all ’cause a what ole Cutter had said to me just before I shot off his ear. Someone had heared him wrong and thought that he had really called me Billy the Kid, meaning that’s who I really was. One day in Ass Grove, ole Marty Feldspar, the owner a the Lazy Snakes spread, seed Holster, and he accused him right then and to his face.

  “I hear you hired yourself a real famous killer, Holster,” he said.

  “Who do you mean?” said Holster.

  “Heard you hired on Billy the Kid,” Feldspar said.

  Just about then I stepped out a the store, just in time to hear what the old bastard said, and I said, “I guess you must be talking about me, Mr. Feldspar, but I really ain’t no Billy the Kid.”

  “Who are you?” Feldspar said.

  “They do call me Kid,” I said, “but my name’s Parmlee. Kid Parmlee.”

  “You the one shot Cutter’s ear off?” he asked me.

  “I done that,” I said. “I didn’t feel like killing no one that morning, even though he asked for it, and I would a been justified if I’d a done it.”

  So folks stopped thinking that I was really Billy the Kid, but then they was saying things like, “Ole Holster has got hisself a regular Billy the Kid a working for him.” You know, they kept on a making me out to be just like Billy the Kid, and they kept on accusing poor ole Holster of hiring hisself bad-ass gunfighters and killers ’stead a cowboys. Why, hell’s fire, I hadn’t done nothing for Holster in a whole entire year but just only work cows. That’s all. And I sure hadn’t done no more shooting around the town neither, not since I de-eared ole Cutter. But folks do like to talk. If I hadn’t knowed it before, I learned it in that first year I worked for the Three Forks Ranch.

  Well, one evening the ole cookie cooked us up a great pot of beans, and I et a good share of them. I thought they was pretty good too, but he must a done something wrong along the way, ’cause after a while my guts got to rumbling something fierce. I kept finding ways to get myself off away from the boys so I could fart without it being noticed. But whenever it come time to go to bed, there weren’t nothing I could do for it. I was keeping the boys awake with my farts, and I was fouling the air something fierce in the bunkhouse too. I couldn’t hardly stand it my own self, but I guess the boys was skeered a my reputation as a regular Billy the Kid, so other than making a few grumbling remarks and groans and other painful noises, they just left me alone.

  They left me alone till I was good and sound asleep, and even then I never knowed what they was doing nor ‘who was a doing it till it was too late to fight back, but what they done was they throwed a sheet over me and roped me up in it real good, and then they carried my ass on outside. ’Course I woked up when they was a tying me, and I commenced to hollering and screaming and kicking and thrashing about and threatening to kill ever’one on the whole damn ranch, but it never made no difference. They hauled my farting ass on outside and dumped me on the ground kinda rough like and just left me lay there. Even then my farts never let up, and it was just awful inside that sheet. Hell, it was like being wrapped up in a fart sack all night long and tortured. I like to gagged myself to death, and I never got no good night’s sleep neither.

  Well, in the morning, someone cut me loose and run, so that whenever I fin’ly got myself out from under that goddamned tangle a sheet I couldn’t see no one nowhere near. I never knowed who it was what had tied me up, and I never knowed neither who had fin’ly gone and cut me loose. I got up then, and I went and washed myself up a bit and changed my clothes, and I just couldn’t hardly get enough of that good fresh air. I had done farted myself out though overnight, so I was okay in that respect, but I was god-awful embarrassed about the whole thing. In fact, you could say that I was downright humiliated. I couldn’t hardly look no one in the face, and a course, I couldn’t really just go on ahead and kill them all for what some few had did to me, although I did kind a feel like doing just that.

  I was lucky it was my day off, so I just got all my stuff together and packed it all on my ole horse and headed on into town. I had been paid too, and so I didn’t have no intention a ever going back to the ole Three Forks Ranch. I didn’t tell no one though. I just rode on into town like me or any a the boys would do on his day off. Well, I fooled around some till I was pretty sure that ole Sherry would be up and ready to start her day, and then I went to look her up, but I found her with a big man with a hairy chest and a handlebar mustache. They wasn’t doing nothing when I barged in her room, but they was both just laying there nekkid like as if they had just finished, and it surely did piss them off whenever I walked in there. Hell, I guess if I’d a been in his place, it would a pissed me off too, but I wasn’t thinking of it that way. Besides, if they was all that concerned about it, they should a locked the damn door.

  “Get out of here, you silly little shit,” the hairy bastard said.

  “I just want to talk to Sherry for a minute,” I said, and I could actual feel my face a blushing some.

  “Not now, Kid,” Sherry said. “Go on downstairs. I’ll come find you in a bit.”

  “Sherry,” I said, “I want you to get dressed and pack up your things. I’m leaving these parts, and I want you to go with me.”

  “What?” she said, and she looked some amazed at what I had just said to her. I was concentrating on Sherry, so I hardly noticed when the big nekkid man reached for his revolver what was hanging on the corner post of the bed. I seed it, though just as he jerked it up and cocked it, and it was pointed full at me. I reacted quick then, and I pulled my own Colt, cocking it as I pulled it, and squeezing the trigger all at the same time, and the blast a my Colt filled the air a that little room and set my ears to ringing. Then ole Sherry started in to screaming. The big hairy bastard never made no sound ’cept only whenever his nekkid body thudded down onto the floor. His hairy chest was covered over with blood. He was still and dead. I put my Colt away.

  “Calm down, Sherry,” I said. “It’s okay. It was self-defense for sure. He pulled down on me first. You seed it. Listen to me now. Calm down, darlin’. I want you to get yourself ready to ride. I got me some money, and I’m moving on out of these parts.”

  Well, she quit screaming all of a sudden, and she give me the hardest, meanest look I guess I ever got. “Go with you?” she said, and it was like she was spitting them words out at me. “Why the hell would I want to go with you? You’re a nothing. You’re a dime-a-dozen cowhand and gunfighter. And you just quit your job. And you’re just a baby on top of all that. Get the hell out of here. Get out.”

  “Sherry,” I said, not hardly believing what I was hearing. Hell, I was in love with her, and I believed that she just had to be in love with me.

  “Get out. Get out,” she screamed.

  I turned and run out of there. I hadn’t never heared that kind a shrieking before. Well, for sure there weren’t nothing left to hold me in Ass Grove after that, but about the time I got to the bottom of the stairs, ole Sherry, wrapped up in just a sheet with one titty a hanging out, was standing at the landing up above, and she was screaming again.

  “Stop him,” she yelle
d. “Stop Kid Parmlee. He just murdered Harley Hook. Harley was nekkid in my room, and Kid Parmlee just walked in and shot him down. Stop him. Come on up and see for yourself. He’s laying nekkid and bloody on the floor.”

  Well, I figgered that I should be a scooting on out a there, but I tuck me a quick look around the room first, and there didn’t seem to be no one planning on making no moves at me, so I slowed down and backed my way on over to the door. Just as I was about to go out, I seed Sandy just a setting there at a table. I give him a look.

  “You’d best hightail it, Kid,” he said. “Hooks ain’t even with the Snakes outfit. This ain’t our fight. It’s just only yours. And Hooks has got brothers and cousins and friends all around the place. Here.”

  He stood up and pulled a wad a bills out a his pocket and shoved them at me, and I tuck them.

  “I was a leaving anyhow,” I said to him. Then I went on outside and mounted up on ole horse and rid out of town real fast. I never looked back at ole Ass Grove neither.

  Chapter Six

  Well, for the third time now in my young life, here I was a running off from what had been serving me as home ‘cause I’d gone and kilt a man, and I come to realize then that folks really was a looking at me like as if I was a hardened killer and a real bad-ass gunslinger. I never looked at it thataway myself though, ’cause, in the first place, I had just hit that first one, that ole Pigg, in the back a the head with a ax handle. He never even knowed it was coming. That weren’t the way no bad-ass gunfighter kills a man. But then, I guess I had gone on from there and shot it out fair enough with them other two, and with the one whose left ear I had shot off, but I never done none a them killings out a meanness nor even to build me up a reputation nor even for money. Other than the bastard what had shot Farty, they was all a trying to kill me first, and I was just either faster or maybe luckier than they was, that’s all.

  So here I was, just only seventeen year old was all, and for the third time in my short life, I was headed out for I didn’t have no idea where to. This time, though, I headed straight west, on deeper into New Mexico. I ain’t real for certain why. And that land was sure flat and bone dry. I rid all day long, and then I settled me down for the night with a hellacious growling stomach. You see, I had lit out awful fast after I’d shot that nekkid Hook up there in Sherry’s room. So I was just laying on my back on that hard ground, and it a getting cold too, and I was hungry, and I was thinking about my lost first love. Now you might recall that I said I had never keered about nothing but ole Farty, and now here I am talking about my lost love and all.

  Well, I thought about how I had felt about her and about how she had did me dirty in a crucial moment a my young and tender life, and so I just up and told myself, hell, she’s just a damn bitch is all she is. She ain’t no better than my ole maw what slapped me up beside the head whenever I got myself into trouble, just only younger and better looking is all. And that don’t mean nothing. She ain’t going to stay thataway. So you see, I was able to shove her right clean out a my mind.

  Now, I ain’t never been able to do that with ole Farty. I never could. Why, I can’t even think about putting ole Farty out a my mind. I don’t want to neither. I still think about Farty most ever’ day, and what’s even more than that, I guarantee you this—that if it had been ole Farty with me ’stead a that damn Sherry whenever I shot ole Hook, well, by God, ole Farty would a been right by my side a running like hell out a Ass Grove. He’d a lit out with me, and he’d a stayed with me. Me and him was pardners for good and bad and forever, as long as we was both alive. I sure did miss that ole dog. I cried some that night too, thinking about all a them sad and pitiful thoughts.

  I rid on half a the next day, and by and by I begun to think that I had picked me the road straight to hell, but I fin’ly did come to some water, and me and ole horse, we drunk water till we might near bursted our guts. We was both trying like hell to fill up our bellies with water and trick them into thinking that we wasn’t hungry. But it never worked. Not for me, and I’m pretty sure it didn’t work no better for ole horse neither. I mounted up again, and we moved on though. Weren’t nothing else to do.

  But having made up my mind by that time that I was for real on the road to hell, I decided to turn north and head for Colorady instead. I figgered it had to be some better than hell, and I knowed there was mountains up there somewheres, and I had heared tell that some of them had got snow on their top all year long. With the hot sun a baking the ground all around me and cooking me and ole horse both, and me convinced that I was on my way straight to the bottomless pits a hell, them snow-topped mountains seemed mighty inviting. I didn’t have no idea how far off they was nor how long it would take me to get to them. So I was just a riding along real slow and easy like and kind of daydreaming about building me a snowman and throwing snowballs at someone and sliding down a long hillside in the snow on my ass, and such as that, and then suddenly I seed me a little antelope up ahead and off to my right just a grazing away real unconcerned. He either hadn’t seed me nor nosed me, or else I was moving along so slow and easy like that he didn’t think I was nothing to worry about.

  Well, I didn’t have no rifle, so my heart commenced to thumping real hard with worry that I might miss my one only chance to keep myself alive in this wicked world. I didn’t make out to ole horse like nothing had come up, but only just kept moving along real easy, hoping that we’d get close enough for a shot from my Colt before that critter tuck a mind to make a break for it. We kept a moving, and he just kept a grazing, and pretty soon, by God, I thought I might could make me a shot, and so I whupped out my ole Colt in a flash, the only way I knowed how to use it, and I blasted that pretty little thing. I dropped Turn dead with just one shot. I just couldn’t hardly believe my own good fortune, even though I had some time back got to where it was usual just one shot what I needed to get the job did. Ole horse, he was a little startled at the sudden loud noise, but he recovered hisself right quick like.

  “I’m sorry ’bout that, ole horse,” I said, “but I didn’t have time to give you no warning. That little ole critter might a got away from me.”

  I give ole horse a pat on the neck and rid him on over there and looked down on that antelope. It was real still. I put my six-gun away, dismounted and pulled out my knife. Then I commenced to cutting that critter up. I felt a little guilty that I was fixing to have me a real good meal, and I didn’t have nothing special for ole horse, but then I seed that he had started in a grazing right there just where that antelope had been a grazing, so I guessed that he’d be all right after all, and then it come to me that the little critter had tuck keer a both me and ole horse. Pretty soon I had me a fire going, and I had me some choice pieces of meat roasting over it. It sure did put off some fine and tantalizing smells. Well, there wasn’t no fooling the belly this time. I et myself plumb full. I overdone it somewhat. I tried like hell to eat that whole damn antelope. ’Course I couldn’t, but I sure did try.

  Well, it weren’t late yet, but I sure didn’t feel like climbing back on ole horse what with my belly all that full, and I looked at ole horse, and he was just a grazing on them clumps a whatever it was that antelope had been eating on. I figgered I was living on the stuff too, ’cause that was what had made that little antelope fat, and I had done et a bunch a him. Anyhow, I reckoned that we’d just lay around fat and sassy for the rest a that day and all through the night. Hell, I didn’t have no idea where it was we was headed for nohow, so I reckoned a little leisure time wouldn’t hurt no one. I was also thinking that I might ought to really try to eat up all that meat before it was to spoil on me.

  So I unsaddled ole horse, spread out my blankets and stretched myself out there on the ground. It felt pretty good, and I was staring up into the hot sky and thinking about dozing off when ole horse kinda snuffled. I knowed that snuffle. Something was a bothering him. I looked over at him, and he was standing stiff with his head high and his ears pricked up. He had seed or heared something that m
ade him take note like that, and he thunk that I had oughta do the same. I set up and looked off in the same direction ole horse was a staring, and I had to kind a squinny up my eyes all right, but then I seed something moving a ways off over there. I couldn’t hardly make out what it was at first, but I kept a watching. It come closer. Pretty soon I could make out it was a man walking alongside a burro. That’s how come him to be moving so slow.

  I decided that it was going to be a good while before he come near enough for me to worry about him, so I just told ole horse to relax and keep on eating, that it was all right, and then I stretched myself back out. Ever’ now and then I’d roll my head over and take another gander to see how close he was a getting, whoever he was. When he fin’ly looked might near close enough to holler at, I set up. When he come even closer, I got up on my feet, and I kinda stood there with my arms crossed over my chest and my head cocked over to one side. He waved and yelled at me then.

  “Howdy, you there in the camp,” he said. “Do ye mind if I come in?”

  “Come on in,” I said.

  “I seen your smoke from way off yonder,” he said. “I see you got yerself antelope meat a cooking. Enough for two?”

  “Help yourself,” I said. “I’ve done et.”

  “I got some coffee,” he said.

  That perked me right on up. “You do?” I said. “Well, let’s boil up some of it. I was just laying here wishing I had me some coffee, ’stead a just water to wash all that antelope down with.”

  “By gum, we’ll get ’er going,” he said. And damned if he didn’t set right to work. I just let him take on over, and I watched him. He was a short feller, not hardly no taller than me, and back then I was just only about five foot six. And he weren’t much heavier than me neither, I bet you. I’d say he weighed maybe a hunnerd and twenty-five pound was all. But he was at least twice as old as me. Hell, more than that. Maybe three, maybe four times. His face was all wrinkly, and his hair and beard was mostly gray. His clothes was all rumpled up too and dusty and patched, and his boots was wore out some. He had on an ole slouch hat that looked to me like as if he’d wore it constant since back when he was my age.