A Surrendered Heart

by Tracie Peterson

  “You don’t frighten me.” Eyes flashing with anger, Blake pulled free from his grasp. “I can take care of myself.”

  “I might not frighten you, but I do frighten Amanda.” He smiled. “The fact is, you cannot take care of yourself. Not against the men that I will send to pay you a visit. And if a beating doesn’t do the trick, it is easy enough to have you killed.” Ellert snapped his thumb and forefinger together. “It takes only money and the snap of a finger.”

  “You can try whatever you like, but I’ll not be deterred by your threats. If I can’t have Amanda, it matters little what you or your bullies do to me.”

  Ellert studied the young man for a moment. Blake’s words rang with sincerity, and that fact alone was enough to stir Ellert to action. He straightened his shoulders and looked directly into Blake’s eyes. “You listen to me, and you listen very carefully. I don’t doubt what you’ve just said. You would likely die for your lady fair, so you leave me no alternative.”

  “What is that supposed to mean?” Blake curled his fingers into tight fists.

  Ellert knew the young doctor longed to punch him between the eyes. He’d likely take great pleasure in pummeling him to death. But Ellert knew that wouldn’t happen. Blake was a doctor. A man dedicated to saving lives, not taking them.

  “I mean that unless you return to Rochester and forget Amanda, I’ll be required to punish her rather than you. If you take any action to stop this wedding, you may rest assured that she will suffer dearly—all because of you.”

  Blake raised a fist and punched the air. “Only a coward would do such a thing. I cannot believe you would hide behind Amanda’s skirts.”

  “Don’t be foolish. I’m not hiding behind anyone. I’m simply telling you what will happen: You either disappear from Amanda’s life or know that she will suffer for your refusal. It is your choice, dear boy.” Ellert turned and walked away. He would leave the young doctor to dwell upon his choices.

  Broadmoor Island

  The boat ride back to Broadmoor Island was done in silence. Amanda sat rigidly beside Ellert but said nothing, and he seemed just as glad for her lack of words. When they disembarked and everyone went their separate ways, Ellert didn’t attempt to control Amanda. She found it strange but was greatly relieved to make her exit.

  Amanda had just begun to change for bed when, without warning, Fanny and Sophie bounded into her room. Veda continued to unbutton Amanda’s dress as Sophie dropped onto the bed. Fanny stepped forward. “I’ll do that, Veda. You can go on to bed.”

  The maid frowned and shook her head. “I know what will happen if I leave. The three of you will stay up late talking, and Miss Amanda will be all puffy-eyed for her wedding. She needs a good night of sleep before her wedding day.”

  Amanda smiled at the servant. “I promise we won’t stay up much longer, Veda. You go ahead. Fanny will help me out of my dress.” When Veda didn’t make a move, Amanda lightly touched her shoulder. “You have my word.”

  The maid trudged toward the bedroom door, her reluctant steps evidence she wasn’t completely convinced. With one final warning look, she closed the door behind her. The three girls sighed in unison and then giggled.

  “Goodness, but she’s become the protective mother hen these past few days,” Sophie said. “We’re either sidestepping Ellert for a few minutes of your time or staving off the servants with promises of proper behavior. What happened to those days when we used to gather in our rooms and talk for hours on end? Nobody cared in the least back then.”

  Fanny laughed as she unfastened the final button. “They were pleased to have us contained in one room instead of carrying out one of our many pranks. I do believe we were a greater threat than Jefferson and George.” She met Amanda’s brown-eyed gaze in the mirror. “Don’t you agree?”

  “Absolutely! Those two were never our match, though they still remind me of the whitewash incident.”

  “I can still see your father covered with that pail of whitewash. I’m not certain who was more surprised.” Sophie rolled back on the bed and convulsed in laughter.

  “It is a pleasant memory,” Amanda admitted.

  “Oh, and do you recall the first time we attended a dance at the Frontenac Hotel?” Fanny glanced over her shoulder while she carried Amanda’s dress across the room to the wardrobe. “The three of us in our party dresses thinking the young fellows would die for an opportunity to dance with each one of us.” She hung up the dress and turned around. “As I recall, they did flock around the two of you. I was the only one left standing by the punch bowl.”

  “I received my first real kiss that night,” Sophie recalled.

  “You didn’t!” Fanny joined them on the bed. “You never told us.” She looked at Amanda. “Did she tell you?”

  “No! You’ve been keeping secrets from us!” Amanda pointed at Sophie. “What else do you need to confess?”

  “Nothing. I promise,” Sophie said, turning serious. “We shall miss you, Amanda. You must remember that though we are separated by distance, you will always be in our hearts and in our prayers.”

  “Yes, always,” Fanny added. “And if you should need us, you must send word, and we’ll hurry to your aid. Promise that you will write us the truth of how you are faring so that we may know how to pray for you.”

  “You have my word that I will do everything in my power to visit and to write as often as possible. We may be apart, but our love and our memories will keep us together always.”

  “Agreed,” Fanny said. “I suppose we’d best leave. I don’t want Veda to hold us accountable if Amanda should have puffy eyes for the wedding.” She leaned forward and kissed Amanda’s cheek. “Good night, dear Amanda. I hope you are able to sleep well.”

  Sophie added her wishes for a peaceful night before embracing Amanda and bidding her good-night. “We’ll be with you through every step tomorrow.”

  “Thank you both. I don’t know how I would have managed throughout these past weeks without the two of you.” Amanda stood at her bedroom door for a moment and watched her cousins walk hand in hand down the hallway.

  After crossing the room, Amanda slipped into bed. How she would miss Fanny and Sophie. Once she departed for New York, the opportunity for friendship with other women would likely disappear. She feared everything she held dear would vanish once she married Ellert Jackson. As a tear slipped down her cheek, she uttered a silent prayer for strength to face the unknown fearful future that lay ahead of her. She must remain strong.

  Saturday, August 19, 1899

  “Miss Amanda, come on now and wake up.” Veda’s appeal was soon followed by a tug on the sheet. “No time to dawdle. This is going to be the most hectic day of your life.”

  Amanda rolled over and sat up on the edge of the bed. It had been close to dawn before she’d fallen asleep, and even that brief time had been filled with ghoulish nightmares.

  “Look at those eyes. I knew you three wouldn’t keep your promise,” Veda said as she strode across the room and opened the windows.

  A damp breeze wafted into the room, and Amanda glanced out the window. The dismal overcast skies predicted an impending storm—a perfect reflection of the dismal future awaiting her.

  26

  The sky was still dark and foreboding by the time Captain Visegar docked the New Island Wanderer at the Broadmoor boathouse. He would provide transportation to Round Island for all the family and friends attending the wedding. He and Ellert had detailed the plans for pickup of wedding guests from several of the many islands.

  Ellert had also reserved the rooms at the Frontenac Hotel without Amanda’s knowledge or consent. However, she was now grateful for a place where she could prepare for the ceremony and avoid contact with Ellert until time for the wedding. These final hours before the exchange of vows would be the last when she could at least partially consider herself a free woman. Certainly she’d always been subject to the dictates of her father, but life under Mr. Jackson’s roof would undoubtedly prove much mor
e restrictive. She closed her eyes and inhaled a deep breath. How she longed to lift her eyelids and discover this was merely a bad dream. Unfortunately, the pitching boat and the mist that dampened her cheeks were enough to prove this nightmare was real.

  Once they arrived at Round Island and she and her cousins were alone in the small suite of rooms, Amanda beckoned Sophie forward. “I’d prefer to eat lunch here in the room by ourselves rather than go downstairs and join the others. Do you think you could convince the chef to have our meal sent upstairs?”

  Sophie winked. “Of course. You can count on me. I’ll even go downstairs shortly before lunch and explain to Ellert that you won’t be joining him. He probably won’t be happy, but you can count on me to explain.”

  After her cousin left the room, Amanda signaled Fanny closer. “I have questions . . . about the wedding night. Mother has avoided all talk of what I might expect, and Sophie would likely laugh at me for asking. As you can expect, my knowledge is nonexistent. Would you be willing to enlighten me as to what I should anticipate?”

  A faint blush colored Fanny’s cheeks as she drew near and sat down beside Amanda. “I can only tell you that for me, the wedding night was very special because of the deep love Michael and I share. From my observation of Mr. Jackson, I fear he may not be kind or gentle with you.”

  Amanda swallowed hard and forced back the threatening tears. “Whatever shall I do? Many of his comments make me believe he won’t be easily deterred. I had thought to feign a headache or stomach ailment if I couldn’t abide his attentions, but . . .” She shrugged her shoulders and looked to Fanny for an alternative suggestion.

  “He will undoubtedly take any attempt to discourage his advances as an affront. You don’t want to anger him. I do fear Mr. Jackson would become unduly cruel if incensed. Perhaps you should simply plead the truth: You are a woman of virtue and would appreciate that he show patience with you.”

  Amanda removed her handkerchief from her pocket and dabbed a tear from her eye and nodded agreement. “I’ll try what you’ve suggested.” She forced a smile. There was no need for further discussion, for neither of them had an answer. She knew that pleading her virtue would have little impact upon Ellert. He cared only about himself and probably would take great pleasure in causing her pain. Hadn’t he said as much in the past weeks?

  Before Fanny could respond, Amanda’s mother bustled into the room with two of the servants and several trunks in tow. She pointed and issued directions and then shooed the servants from the room. “Send Veda up here immediately,” she called after them.

  “I don’t need Veda yet, Mother. I’m not going to dress this early in the day.”

  Wagging her finger as a warning, Amanda’s mother continued across the room. “Nonsense. You must dress for the luncheon. Ellert has arranged a lovely affair—or so the chef tells me.”

  Amanda grimaced. “I plan to eat here in my rooms. I want to reserve all of my energy for the wedding festivities. Besides, Ellert and his guests will want time to visit prior to the wedding. What better time than at the luncheon he has arranged?”

  “Ellert tells me that he will have only one guest attending the wedding. His lawyer, Leighton Craig, has arrived.”

  Fanny arched her brows. “None of his friends or family responded?”

  Her aunt grimaced. “He has no family—at least none that he invited. His friends were either otherwise obligated or out of the city. This is, after all, August. Many of them are traveling abroad or enjoying themselves at their summer homes.” As if to indicate such an occurrence was a normal and expected happenstance, her aunt gave an affirmative nod.

  “Still, it would seem he would have at least a few friends and business acquaintances who would be willing to return for such an important event,” Fanny said. “Many of the Broadmoor family friends are returning from their—”

  “Mr. Jackson is aware his guests are unable to attend, and he appears quite content with the arrangement. He is the one who insisted upon an August wedding,” her aunt replied. “If I’d had my way, this wedding would not even—”

  Amanda reached forward and grasped her mother’s hand. “Mother, please. There’s no need to fret. Sophie is going to make my excuses to Ellert. He can visit with Father and Uncle Quincy.”

  Her mother squeezed her hand. “Of course. You girls enjoy this final bit of time together. I’ll preside over the luncheon and do my best to assure Ellert you are using the additional time to make certain you are prepared for the ceremony.”

  Amanda leaned forward and kissed her mother on the cheek. “Thank you.”

  “It’s the least I can do. I fear I’m sending you into a lion’s den without any form of defense,” she whispered into Amanda’s ear.

  “I’ll be fine. You worry overmuch.”

  Her mother’s eyes had turned as dull as the gray skies. “I pray you’re correct.”

  “That’s what we must all do,” Fanny said, drawing near her aunt and cousin. “We must pray that God will keep Amanda in His constant care and protection.”

  “Yes. You’re correct, Fanny. We must pray for Amanda without fail. And we should begin at this very moment.”

  With their heads bowed, Amanda’s mother prayed for her well-being and for God’s direction. Though Amanda was thankful for her mother’s prayer, the somber plea did little to alleviate her fear.

  After the men had been transported to the church, the carriage returned to the Frontenac Hotel for the ladies. Preceded by Fanny and Sophie, Amanda descended the wide staircase of the hotel with Minnie clucking orders and draping the flowing train over one arm. Veda followed close behind with the veil and headpiece while Amanda’s mother directed them outside.

  “Do hurry before it begins to rain. I think you should have dressed at the church, Amanda. Your gown will be ruined if—”

  Amanda touched a finger to her lips. Thankfully, her mother took the cue. The gown was of little concern. Even if she walked down the aisle soaking wet, Ellert wouldn’t be deterred. He was determined to punish the Broadmoor family, and he would soon achieve his goal.

  The ride to the church was over much too soon. Veda and Minnie whisked Amanda into the small anteroom, arranged her headpiece and veil, and pronounced her beautiful. The minute the two maids had completed their ministrations, Sophie and Fanny entered the room and added their enthusiastic approval. The gown was of the finest quality. Ellert had paid the seamstresses well, and they’d produced a gown befitting royalty. Embellished with seed pearls and imported lace, the softly pleated bodice fit snug around Amanda’s waist and flowed into an overstated train that had been delicately edged with the same pearls and lace. Had she been walking down the aisle to marry Blake, she would have been delighted with the overall effect of the gown and headpiece. Instead, she cared not a whit.

  The piano chords sounded like a death knell as she followed Fanny and Sophie from the room. Attired in a frock coat, double-breasted vest, and striped trousers, her father paced the narrow vestibule like a caged animal. Careful to avoid tripping on the hem of her gown, Amanda stepped to her father’s side. She reached up and straightened his tie.

  “You look beautiful,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry this mus—”

  “No more apologies, Father.” She grasped his arm, and the two of them stood just beyond the sanctuary doors while Fanny and Sophie preceded them down the aisle.

  At the minister’s nod her father patted her hand. Together they walked toward the front of the church, where Ellert stood waiting. She shivered at the sight of him and wondered what he would do if she broke loose and ran from the church. Would he run after her, or would he simply announce to all of those present that her father was a thief and a scoundrel of the worst possible sort? She heightened her resolve and took the final halting steps toward her ill-fated marriage.

  The minister’s words echoed in the distance. Though she heard everything being said, she remained oddly detached. She heard Ellert repeat his vows and affirm that he wished to
take her as his wife. Now the minister was staring at her, waiting for her corresponding response. Ellert grasped her fingers and squeezed until she flinched in pain.

  “I do,” she croaked, her hoarse whisper barely audible.

  “Louder,” Ellert hissed.

  “I do.” This time the words were crisp, clear, and loud enough to be heard by the congregation of family and friends.

  At the preacher’s signal Ellert crushed her mouth in a possessive and bruising kiss. When he finally released her, their guests appeared shocked or embarrassed; Amanda couldn’t be sure which. But of one thing she was absolutely certain: Her life would never be the same.

  27

  A soft rain began to fall shortly after the wedding guests returned to the hotel. The light showers continued as their soup was served, but the storm that had threatened throughout the day struck with a vengeance during the main course. Although thunder clapped overhead and lightning streaked the skies, the wedding guests appeared unconcerned. They ate their fill, made several toasts, and applauded when Ellert and Amanda cut their wedding cake.

  A short time later the guests followed the couple into the huge dance hall. At Ellert’s signal, the musicians began the promenade march and then followed with a waltz. The moment the waltz began, Ellert crushed himself against his bride. “Look at me and smile.”

  Although Amanda considered ignoring his command, he tightened his hold until she thought her ribs would break. She looked up at him and forced a smile. “You’ve already succeeded in making me your wife. You say you care little what others think, so why must I appear to be happy?”