Penance

by K E Osborn

  Sass’s soft breaths echo through the silence of the room. She’s asleep, has been for at least an hour, with her fingers laced through mine. And the fact that I’m loving every fucking second of this is scaring the absolute hell out of me.

  I’ve never been a man for relationship commitment. Hell, I’ve never really had a proper girlfriend. I’ve been too committed to my training and then to the club. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing here. I don’t even know if that is what this will turn into. If Sass is heading into relationship territory? I’m probably overthinking this, but I can’t help it.

  My mind needs to focus because I have much bigger issues at hand. My blood father is in town, and he could threaten the very foundations I have built. He could ruin the life I’ve created here. The life my parents created here. Let alone the club I live for, the family I breathe for. If Ishikawa is coming for me and mine, then I really need to let Sass go. Now. Before she gets hurt, but the thought of letting her go when I’m only just starting to know her and her brazen ways is abhorrent to me. And even if I wanted to, she’s now the mechanic for the club, so my hands are tied. If we stopped whatever this is, I will undoubtedly be seeing more of her as time passes.

  Pressing my lips against her delicate pale skin of her neck, she murmurs softly but doesn’t wake as she nuzzles back into me. I smother myself in her while I take a breath and finally close my eyes.

  The darkness takes over as I try to will myself to sleep, but I know it’s going to be a hell of a night with my mind doing all the talking.

  AYLA

  The Next Morning

  A blasting alarm reverberates through the room making me open my eyes and jolt awake to a room I’m not used to. Another thing I’m not used to is the heavy arm draped over my body, and the man wrapped up behind me making me a little too warm. But I smile as the memories flood back, and turn my head to see Sensei lift his to greet me. First thing I notice is his red eyes—it’s like he’s not slept a wink.

  I smile and lean in pressing my lips to his as I roll over locking myself against him, our mouths colliding together, all the while the alarm continues to blast. He chuckles against my lips as I slowly pull back and smile.

  “You laughing while I kiss you? That’s not how a woman wants to wake up.”

  He grins and looks at my cell behind me on the bedside table. “Well, my ears don’t want to be continually assaulted by that incessant noise while kissing you.”

  Giggling, I roll over and press the off button and then turn back to face him. His dreadlocks are slightly disheveled this morning. I bring my hand up to cup his cheek as I look into his eyes. “Didn’t you sleep well?”

  He leans in pressing his lips to mine then pulls back. “I was comfortable all night with you in my arms, Sass.”

  I stifle a laugh. “Comfortable maybe, but did you sleep?”

  His Adam’s apple bobs up and down as he looks away from me and rolls over pulling the blankets off him. “I think the answer’s more about the fact that you slept well, and that’s what keeps me happy.”

  Tensing, I sit up in the bed, the sheets falling showing my exposed breasts as he walks naked over to his jeans and starts to pull them on without underwear.

  “Sensei… did me being here keep you awake all night?”

  He turns to face me, and I see a small slump his body. “There’s no right answer to that question.”

  My face falls, my stomach sinks. Shit! Maybe he didn’t feel right with me being here. Maybe I am the only one feeling this connection. Maybe he thought he was feeling it, but then during the night, something changed. Maybe he was embarrassed by the way I spoke to his father, and how I acted with regards to his mother.

  Shit.

  Shit.

  Shit.

  He purposefully walks over to the bed and sits down taking one of my hands in his. With his other hand, he places it under my chin making me look up to him, my eyes heavy as he gazes into them. “Stop! You’re overthinking. This isn’t on you. I have a lot of things happening at the moment. With the club. With my family. With you. You being here last night, in my bed, was… new to me. And even though it threw me, I enjoyed it very much…”

  Nodding, I let out a small sigh. “Okay,” I say not really knowing what else to say.

  “My trouble sleeping was an accumulative effect, Sass, it wasn’t you. Holding you all night was a highlight for me… as it was a first.”

  A flitter of butterflies swarm in my stomach as I realize Sensei has never held a girl in his bed before. Then I realize if he has never done that, then he must never have had a girlfriend before. It’s no wonder he’s so uptight about everything. He’s never had anyone show him how good life can truly be. When you have someone on and by your side helping you through, being your partner in all things, it really is an amazing feeling. He’s never had that. I get now why he’s so… tense.

  His brows crease while he studies me and his thumbs caress the back of my hand. “Sass, say something.”

  Clearing my throat, I smile. “I think I know why you’re the way you are. You haven’t experienced this before. What we’re going through… the early stages of finding someone you click with. This friendship with you, Sensei… it’s not what I would have imagined either. But don’t block yourself off from exploring what this could be when it gets scary, okay?” I tell him.

  He raises his brow at me and nods. “Right…” He swallows hard. “You want to get some breakfast?” he hesitantly asks.

  “I’m not huge on breakfast, and I should get going if I’m going to get to the garage on time. But I had a really good night with you and the club. I want to keep coming here and get to know everyone more. I’ll be seeing everyone soon for girls’ night, though, right?” I ask, and he nods.

  “Right, but we will talk before then?” he asks.

  I smile wide. “Every day,” I tell him.

  Sensei finally smiles and leans in kissing me strongly, that buzz filters through the air as I kiss him, needing to get my fill of him before I have to go into work and deal with the idiots.

  Heath and Bowie were already gone by the time I arrive home to get into some clean coveralls for the day, which I was kind of glad about. Getting a serve from them about why I didn’t come home last night was not something I was looking forward to, so putting it off for another few minutes is fine by me.

  Quickly, I got changed and made my way out to the garage, where I’m now walking inside to the unmistakable sound of air impact wrenches in all their glory removing lug nuts with speed.

  Smiling, as I walk in, my body aches from the rounds of adrenaline-fueled sex I had with Sensei last night. My mind wanders over the memories making my tummy swirl with giddy butterflies while I walk inside the garage toward Dad’s office to grab my job sheet for the day.

  A thunderous round of applause erupts from behind me as I turn to see Bowie with a bright smirk on his face as he rushes up to me, a dirty white rag over his shoulder as he grins so wide he appears like he’s going to burst. “It’s so nice to see you made it here, Spanner, after pulling an all-nighter,” he calls out, and all the other guys pop their heads out from under their car bonnets or bodies. Heath steps out from behind the dyno tune area to have a ‘chat’ with me too.

  Placing my hands on my hips, I purse my lips at them both. “Shut up, slick. I’m allowed to have a life outside of you two idiots,” I scald and they both bounce back like I’ve hurt their feelings, but I know they’re only joking as they chuckle.

  “You took off to go to the biker club and never came home. Can I guess who the lucky man was?” Bowie waggles his eyebrows running his hands up and down himself while he kisses the air for added effect.

  “Just ‘cause I was the only one who had a good night while you two bozos stayed at home with each other is not my problem, boys.”

  Everyone else in the garage lets out a collective ‘oooh.’

  “Shut up! Get back to work, guys,” Heath calls out as he looks at me sternl
y, and the other workers go back to their jobs.

  I stare at Heath and tilt my head in a gesture of rebellion.

  He groans as he walks toward me, and Bowie chuckles stepping off humping the air as he goes while I prepare myself for a battle with my brother as he approaches me. “Ayla, a word?” Heath asks, grabbing my arm and leading me toward the back corner of the garage.

  “Heath… what? I’m your big sister, you know?”

  He lets out a small chuckle and nods like he sees the irony in him telling me off for having a night out. “I know, and I have no right in telling you what to do, so I’m not going to. Just… next time, tell me where you are, okay? I know you’re a big girl and can look after yourself, but… honestly, I was worried.”

  Softening my stance toward him, I smile moving my hand out to touch his arm. He weakly smiles as I look into his sincere eyes. “Heath, I know you have concerns about the club, but trust me, I met all the guys there last night. I’m safe, honestly. I feel safer there than here sometimes.”

  I wince as Heath’s expression changes into a hard glare. He nods as his shoulders stiffen. “I know what you mean. The guys here can be… well, they accept that a girl is here and some treat you fine, some treat you like an outcast, or some hit on you constantly. I get all that, I know what’s happening around here.”

  “Yeah, well, all I’m saying is please don’t think badly of the club or of Sensei. I think I’ll be seeing a fair bit of him, so… don’t get an attitude. Okay?”

  He raises his hands in surrender, his eyes wide in surprise as he nods. “Okay. Just… be careful, that’s all I’m saying.”

  “Yes, Dad.”

  “Speaking of which, have you told him about your new, loveeerrr?” he teases the last word out mockingly, and I reach out slapping his arm playfully which makes him laugh.

  “No, and I’m not going to until there’s something solid to tell him.”

  He nods. “Fair play. Okay, ‘spose we better get to work.”

  Heath turns to walk off, but I grab his arm, and he turns back to look at me. “Thanks for looking out for me, little bro.”

  He smiles winking at me. “Always, sis, always. You might piss me off, but I still love you.”

  Scrunching my face at his cuteness, he rolls his eyes and heads off as I smile and walk toward the office. Dad’s gone, and I wonder where he is. He’s more than likely grabbing himself a coffee or having a cigarette knowing him.

  As I walk in the office to get my job sheet, I pick up the piece of paper, and I hear the door shut behind me. Turning around, I notice Vince standing in front of the door blocking my exit.

  My eyes widen in shock as I plaster on a smile watching our auto-electrical mechanic’s eyes linger on me a little too damn long. Why he’s shutting the door, I’m not sure, it’s throwing me off, but I widen my smile anyway taking a breath in through my nose. “Hey, Vince.”

  “So, you stayed out last night?” he asks with a sly smile, his long blond quiff flopping a little as he juts his head to the side.

  I nod. “Yeah… you know me, life of the party and all!”

  He smiles his toothy grin. I guess with his broad shoulders and chiseled face he could be seen as good looking, but he just doesn’t do it for me. But I can see how he would be attractive to women. “I’d love to party with you, Spanner. I think we’d have a great time.”

  I snort out a laugh. “Maybe, we’ll have work drinks, and we can all have a good time.” I think I can see where this is leading and as much as Vince is nice and all, a work romance is not on the cards. Not only because having a relationship with someone you work with is just a ‘no’ for me, but I’m interested in Sensei now, so I’m not doing anything to jeopardize that.

  He steps closer, his face dropping his smirk as he reaches out for my hand. Tension ripples through the air, my stomach lurching in dread as I look at him. His blue eyes shining in hope as he looks at me.

  Shit!

  “Spanner, I like you—”

  A sudden knock on the door startles us both. We turn to see Dad, his eyebrows drawn together tight, with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth and his oxygen tube dangling from his nose.

  Taking a large step back from Vince as Dad opens the door, he walks in as he eyes us both.

  “Everything all right in here?” Dad asks as I clear my throat and nod probably a little too excessively. “Spanner get to work. I need a word with Vince.”

  Vince’s brows crease as he looks at me. I grab my job sheet and turn without saying a word and walk out shutting the door behind me. I have no idea what Dad saw, but all I know is I don’t want to be in that situation with Vince again. I’ve never been one to be lost for words. I’m always strong, confident, brash as Sensei put it.

  I’m not sure if I saw that coming.

  Vince likes me.

  This could make things awkward at work now because I don’t know how to play this.

  The fact is, Dad won’t be here much longer, and then this place will be mine. If I have guys like Vince falling at my feet, I’m sure the others at the garage won’t take kindly to that.

  Then what the hell hope do I have of running this place successfully?

  Somehow, I need to figure out how to carefully steer away any advances that might come my way at work.

  Good luck to me!

  SENSEI

  The Next Day

  A bunch of us have headed to Gunner’s gun range for some target practice and to let off some steam. Things are tense, and with the Ishikawa in town, we need all the target practice we can get. Who knows when we’ll be putting our aim to good use.

  As Torque, Trax, Chains, Lift, Scratch, Ace, Vibe, Tremor, and I walk through the foyer, Gunner nods his head in a gesture of greeting. His red hair now showing flecks of gray the older he gets. He doesn’t come by the clubrooms as often anymore spending most of his time here, but when he does, we always welcome him with open arms. The guy has a family—kids and grandkids. He has a life outside the club, and we don’t begrudge him that.

  “Lads, good to see you again,” Gunner calls out as we pass him.

  “Thanks, Gunner… appreciate you letting us train today, I know the place is hectic with bookings,” Torque calls out as we round the hall and head to the back area where the inside target range is set up. We walk through the door and close it behind us with general excitement. We all love the power and thrill of shooting a weapon. Normally, it’d be aimed at an Andretti, but for now, our weapons are stowed when it comes to Enzo and his men. I’m still getting used to that fact.

  We each grab a set of earmuffs as I step up to my station to set up my rounds. The targets all start to swing back into position as I stand in my partition next to Torque and Chains while I load my weapon feeling the flood of euphoria flow through me. This is one of the best feelings in the world, although it will never beat the feeling of a blade in my hand.

  The countdown timer begins as I unclick the safety bringing my Glock up to my eye and aim. I wait for the buzzer, and when it sounds I squeeze the trigger. It kicks back, the sound of roaring gunfire blasting off through the range. The energy in here is intoxicating. I don’t know why I love the sound of a weapon’s discharge so much.

  After shooting a few off, I realize I must be getting close to the end of my magazine. Suddenly, the lights in the range flicker out sending the room into pitch black, only the green of the exit signs illuminate the exit points. For some reason, the emergency lighting hasn’t kicked in.

  We halt our shooting. I lower my weapon then yank off my earmuffs and glance around my partition to look at Torque, but it’s very hard to make him out in the darkness.

  “Everyone okay?” Torque calls out, and a general “yeah” resounds through the room.

  Unease filters through me. I don’t understand why the lights are off. Sure there could be an outage, but it’s unlikely. The creak of a door hinge lets us know someone’s entering the room, followed by the tapping of feet on the concrete floor. I
bring my weapon back up and aim it toward the door. The figures silhouette, but it’s just too fucking dark to see anything concrete.

  “Who the fuck’s there?” Torque calls out, but no one answers as the lights flicker and then turn on to show the Yakuza, including Aiko Ishikawa standing in front of us, rifles aimed at us all with sly smiles on their faces. I raise my gun into a higher position, but the problem is I have no idea how many bullets are left in the chamber—if any. My brothers will be in the same predicament.

  “Now, now. No need for un-pleasantries. Let us all put our weapons down, shall we?” Aiko offers and Torque raises his gun higher aiming straight at him. So I do the same which makes Aiko smile.

  “Not gonna happen,” Torque replies as we all stare at them.

  Aiko sniffs and nods like he expected as much and takes a step forward, his men aiming their rifles directly at Torque more than any of the rest of us. “Now, I’m not going to make a mess of this. I am a reasonable man, Torque. I don’t want bloodshed… but don’t mistake that for kindness. I will draw blood if the need arises—”

  “Do you have a fuckin’ point?” Torque interrupts abruptly making Aiko smirk as he straightens out his jacket.

  “I do. I want more guns, and you…” he points directly at Torque, “… will give them to me.”

  While shaking his head, Torque lets out a stifled laugh. “Oh, I’ll give them to you, will I?”

  “I think you will.”

  “I think I won’t. Thanks, I’ll fuckin’ pass. Good chat. Now get the fuck outta my gun range.”

  I tense up as I watch Aiko’s jaw clench like he’s becoming aggravated by Torque’s tone. His eyes narrow as he signals for his men to raise their weapons, they all do aiming at us all now.