Tucker (In Safe Hands Book 4)

by S. M. Shade

  Determined not to let him pull away from me again, I slip my coat on as well.

  His expression hardens. “Where do you think you’re going?”

  “Well, since I’m over twenty-one and free, wherever the hell I want to go.”

  His lips press together. “It’s dangerous out there. Trees are down everywhere.”

  “Where are you going?”

  “I’m going to walk up the driveway and see the damage. Try to figure out how long we’re going to be stuck.”

  Grabbing my phone, I pull my hat down over my ears, and turn to face him. “I’m going with you. I want to take some pictures before it melts.”

  My response gets me a frustrated huff, but not an argument so I follow him outside. Bitterly cold wind cuts through my clothes as if they’re made of paper. Damn, they weren’t kidding about the cold warning. No way the ice will melt today.

  Tucker grabs my gloved hand in his when we step off of the porch into about four inches of snow.

  Yeah, he obviously can’t stand to be around me. God, the guy is one big damn riddle.

  The snow does make it a little easier to walk as long as I take careful steps.

  “Oh no, your swing,” I groan when we get a few feet down the driveway. The massive oak tree that once shaded the driveway and supported a wooden swing large enough to seat three people is now lying across the driveway. The swing is crushed into splinters of wood beneath it.

  “I can build another one,” he replies.

  It takes us over twenty minutes to make it down his driveway to the county road that crosses it. In addition to the oak, there are three more trees across his drive, but it’s the sight of the road that makes his face crease with worry.

  After a few moments of silence, he mumbles. “Eighteen.”

  “What?” I pull my hat up to uncover one ear so I can hear better. The wind roaring in our ears doesn’t help.

  “I count eighteen trees down across the road and that’s just the length we can see.”

  “It’s going to take road crews forever,” I complain.

  “Come on, kid.” He tugs my hat back down over my ear and grabs my hand again. “Let’s get inside before you get frostbite.”

  Kid.

  “You know, just because you’re all strong and muscly doesn’t mean you don’t have the same chance at frostbite as me,” I point out as we head back.

  “I spent an entire winter outside and never got it.”

  I don’t know what to say to that. He never brings up the time he spent homeless. Instead of replying, I take out my phone and snap some pictures.

  The storm may be a total pain in the ass, but it has transformed the world into something beautiful. Thin beams of sunlight catch in the ice making the branches and power lines sparkle. Snow covers everything, making the farm appear pristine. The slight mist still hanging in the morning air makes me feel like I’m moving through some kind of fairy world just outside our own.

  “It’s so beautiful,” I breathe, snapping a few more shots.

  Tucker grunts. “Not how I’d describe it.”

  “Then you aren’t looking close enough.”

  “You thought the last thunderstorm was beautiful,” he teases.

  He suppresses a grin when I shoot him a dirty look. “I said the lightning was pretty. Do you never see the beauty in nature?”

  “Guess not.” He shrugs.

  “Well, it’s there, in everyday things your brain just glosses right over. There’s beauty in everything.” I peek up at his wind reddened face. “And in everyone.”

  “Youthful optimism,” he replies, obviously amused.

  “I’m not that much younger than you, asshole.”

  That draws a loud laugh from him as he pulls open the front door. “I put a small kerosene heater in the downstairs bathroom if you’d like to take a shower while it’s warm.”

  For someone who is constantly annoyed with me, he sure anticipates my needs and tries to keep me comfortable. Catching him off guard, I plant a kiss on his cheek, near the corner of his mouth. “Thank you.”

  Leaving him there speechless, I run to my room to gather some clothes for a shower.

  * * * *

  I’m making my move tonight. I’m tired of waiting around. I don’t know why he’s fighting it, whether it’s because I’m Dare’s sister, he thinks I’m too young, or if it’s something else, but I’m tired of waiting for him to stop screwing around and start screwing me.

  Dressing sexy is kind of out of the question since it’s too cold, but I wear my favorite yoga pants that I know show off my ass, and a long sleeved tee that’s pretty form fitting as well. The second I walk into the living room, his eyes are on me and I see his lips part for a moment before he drags his gaze away.

  “The fire should keep it warm enough for a while. I disconnected the heater so we can watch TV,” he says, scooting toward the far end of the couch. Yeah, that isn’t going to work.

  “Sounds good,” I reply, sitting right next to him.

  “You just missed the news. They’ve activated the National Guard. They’re helping clear the roads and get supplies to people who are stranded.”

  “We may not be trapped that long after all,” I remark.

  I’m rewarded with a grunt while he flips through TV channels, finally stopping on some show I don’t recognize. I don’t care. There’s only one thing on my mind.

  I put my hand on his leg and run it up his thigh, feeling the hard muscle flex beneath my fingers. “Leah,” he warns, looking down at me.

  I don’t give him a chance to say anymore. I throw my leg over him, straddling his lap and slam my mouth to his. My hands travel to his shoulders as my tongue slips between his lips. He’s reluctant for a split second, then it’s like someone lit a fuse beneath him.

  One of his hands slides up my nape and under my hair while the other tightens on my hip. The little drunken kiss we shared was nothing compared to this. After holding back for so long we’re nearly frantic, kissing one another as if it’s our one chance.

  We break apart, and the rasp of his stubble against my skin as he latches onto my neck makes me groan. He kisses and licks down my neck and across my collarbone. I jerk my shirt off before he can gain control of himself and second guess this.

  “Fuck, Leah,” he growls, when he sees I’m not wearing a bra. His hot mouth covers my nipple and I grind against his lap as he sucks it in. I can feel him growing hard beneath me and it sends spikes of excitement through me like I’ve never felt before.

  Not such a kid now, am I?

  “Skin,” I mumble, pulling his shirt up. He reaches over his shoulder and yanks it off and I finally get to run my hands over that chiseled chest. The soft chest hair between my fingers just turns me on more. It’s so fucking rugged and masculine and Tucker.

  I reach down the front of his sweats and grin when I find no barrier between my hand and his cock. “No underwear?” I tease. “Kinky.”

  His words come out in a gravelly voice I’ve never heard, but instantly love. “You couldn’t handle my kinks, little girl.”

  “You’d be surprised what I’m capable of.” I wrap my fingers tightly around his cock and give it a few long, slow strokes.

  His head falls back against the couch and his groan spurs me on. It isn’t until I grab the condom from my pocket and toss it on the couch that a flash of doubt crosses his face.

  “Damn it,” he curses through gritted teeth. “You’re Dare’s sister. I can’t take advantage.”

  “It looks like I’m the one with the advantage right now.” I squeeze him and his breath catches.

  “Leah.”

  “Tucker.” I look him in the eye, still stroking him. “I’m not a child. I don’t need to be taken care of and coddled. I won’t break. What I need is to be fucked good and hard. Can you do that?”

  The room spins as I’m yanked off of his lap and my back meets the couch. His fingers are between my legs and –damn, when did he take my pants and
panties off? As soon as his fingers meet my skin, he curses again. “Fuck, you’re so wet.”

  “For you,” I gasp.

  “Damn right for me.”

  His head dips between my legs and the feel of his tongue on me is all I can take. I’ve been on edge for too damn long. He’s barely got started when I cry out as a powerful orgasm rages through me.

  Before I can recover my senses, he has the condom unwrapped and rolled down his length. My eyes widen at the sight of him. He’s bigger than I’ve ever had, and judging by his smirk, my expression doesn’t escape his notice.

  He bends my knee up and it brushes the back of the couch as my other foot lands on the floor as he spreads me wide. I grasp his arms as he slides slowly inside me, gritting my teeth at the delicious pain of being stretched beyond my limit. His biceps flex under my hands while he eases out and back in a few times until pain melts into pleasure.

  I’m no virgin, but it’s never felt like this with anyone else. Every movement he makes sends a flurry of tingles racing across my skin and I know it isn’t going to take me long to come again.

  “Yes! God, right there,” I breathe, wrapping my legs around his waist.

  The man can take direction well. He thrusts into me, hitting the spot that is making me throw any shame to the wind. I’m not much of a dirty talker but his talented movements are making me say all kinds of shit.

  Did I actually tell him I love his cock?

  Yep.

  Just as I’m getting close he scoops me up and carries me to the wall, pressing my back against it. He barely misses a beat and my nails dig into his back as he pounds into me with ruthless constant power.

  The feeling building inside me is too much to resist and I scream his name as I’m torn in half by the most intense orgasm I’ve ever had. I had no idea it could be like this. That I could feel such need and desperation followed by such devastating pleasure.

  His sweaty head is buried in my neck as his strokes become irregular and he spits out my name like a curse when he comes, his entire body quaking.

  We stay in that position for a long minute, panting and catching our breath before he takes a step back and lowers me to my feet. “Are you okay?”

  “Yes, fuck, Tucker. That was amazing.”

  He plants a sweet kiss on my lips, then presses his forehead to mine. When he looks at me again, I can see the softness in his gaze twist into something that tears a strip from my heart. Regret. His sweat is still drying on my skin and he already regrets it.

  “Tucker?”

  He steps back and shakes his head. “I need to…I’m going to shower.” With that, he practically sprints upstairs. He’s not even headed to the bathroom with the heater. He’d rather get wet in a freezing cold bathroom than look at me.

  I try to swallow down the lump in my throat while I get dressed. It’s not like I expected a proposal, but to have such amazing sex with him after all the time I’ve dreamed about being that close to him and then have him run away like I have the plague fucking hurts.

  It’s time to give up on any thoughts of us together. It’s obviously not what he wants. I got him worked up so he fucked me, like any man would in that situation. But he doesn’t feel anything for me like I do for him. And I don’t ever want to feel like I do now again.

  I’m done.

  I give up.

  I’ll keep to myself and stop pursuing him.

  * * * *

  Do you know what’s worse than being rejected right after fucking someone? Being trapped in the same room with them. Tucker managed to hide upstairs in the cold for nearly an hour, and by the time he came back, I was sitting in the recliner with my laptop, writing.

  It’s the best way I know to deal with how I’m feeling and I let the words pour out, describing my experience with him, and my quick disappointment after. It’s not like he led me on and I have no right to be upset, but that doesn’t change how I feel.

  He offers me a thicker blanket and I take it, thanking him. It’s the last words spoken for the night. He watches TV while I write until my eyes are too heavy to continue. I turn off my laptop, set it aside, and lie back in the recliner. Exhaustion takes over and I’m asleep in minutes.

  The sun is out when I wake the next morning, but it takes two more days for the snow and ice to melt off of the roads. I spend the next two days buried in my writing, avoiding him so he doesn’t have to avoid me. He spends most of the time outdoors, cutting up the fallen trees with a chainsaw and clearing debris.

  Bored, I throw on a couple of layers of clothes, drag the branches to the firepit, and start a fire. It’s the only thing I can really think to do to help. We’ve heard chainsaws whirring on the county road all day so I expect we’ll be able to leave today.

  I talked to Derek this morning and was relieved to hear everyone else has ridden out the storm okay, though most of us still don’t have power.

  A large truck pulls slowly up the driveway and I yell at Tucker, gesturing to it. He turns off the chainsaw and walks out to meet the truck. A soldier gets out and talks to him for a moment before they both nod, and the truck heads back down the driveway.

  Tucker approaches me. “The roads are open from here to town.”

  “Was that the National Guard?”

  “Yeah, they were checking if we needed help. Let’s go to town.”

  “I don’t need anything. You go.”

  His lips press together in his signature frown. Or maybe it’s just the one he uses with me. I don’t know. “I want you to come with me, Leah. There’s something you need to see.”

  The gravity in his voice is foreboding but my morbid curiosity wins out. “All right. Let’s go.”

  The ride to town is quiet and I gaze out the window at our drastically changed surroundings while my thoughts hop around like a rabid bunny. Thinking back over everything, I start to have doubts.

  Maybe he never really wanted me the way I thought he did. I mean, he made it pretty clear up until the night I kissed him. Maybe all those looks I thought were full of longing and lust were in my imagination. He’s probably counting down the days until I move out. God, I was so stupid.

  I’ve been trying to find myself and so far I’ve found out that I’m pushy and stubborn and not attractive in the least to the equally stubborn man beside me. It’s time to call it quits and give him his house back. I’ll find my own apartment and take a job in social work. The schools are hurting for counselors right now. I can write part time.

  Tucker pulls into the gas station and fills a few gas cans for the generators, tucking them in the bed of his truck. We also stop to get bottled water and some fresh vegetables and fruits. The local superstore only has emergency power so there are signs warning they can’t take a credit card, but between us we have plenty of cash.

  I have no idea what it is that I need to see and I’m too afraid of the answer to ask. I’m even more confused when we pull into a long term medical facility.

  Why is he bringing me here?

  Chapter Ten

  Tucker

  I hurt her. I know I did. I can’t stand the expression on her face when she looks at me, which she tries so hard to avoid now. Leah is the happiest, bubbliest, most annoyingly perky person I’ve ever met and it sometimes drives me insane, but more than anything right now, I just want to see her smile.

  I’ve taken that from her and this is the only way I know to make her understand. I’m sure she feels rejected and wonders what she did wrong, so I have to show her. I have to let her in on a secret no one else in the world knows about me.

  I have to tell her about Kathi.

  “What are we doing here?”

  I walk around and open her door. “I need to show you something. Well, someone.”

  She has no idea how hard this is for me. How could she? But she must sense it’s not the time for her usual arguing and just follows me inside.

  I hate how this place always smells, like piss and antiseptic. You’d think I’d be used to it by no
w. “Mr. Long. I’m surprised to see you on a weekday. If you’re concerned because of the storm, we have emergency generators. It’s been business as usual here.”

  “I’m glad to hear it. We just want to visit for a few minutes,” I explain to the nurse who has watched me come in and out of here for three years.

  “Of course. Go on up. I’ll call and let the duty nurse know you’re coming.”

  Confusion mars Leah’s face as we ride the elevator, but she doesn’t question me, just waits silently while I lead her down the hall and into a bright yellow room.

  We’re met with the usual sound of beeping machinery and the wheeze of the respirator. Leah freezes as I approach the bed where a lone woman lies, gaunt and pale. “Leah, this is Kathi, my wife.”

  Leah’s jaw hits the floor and she shakes her head as if willing it not to be true. “Your wife.”

  “Yes, we were married before I went into the service.”

  Leah’s face is white as she whispers, “And how long has she been…here?”

  “Four years. You don’t need to lower your voice. She can’t hear us.”

  “What happened to her?”

  Running my palm over my face, I try to think of how to explain. I can’t do it here even if Kathi can’t hear me. “It’s a long story. I’ll tell you everything when we get home. I just wanted you to see for yourself why…it’s not you. It’s not that I don’t want you.”

  She holds up her palm. “I get it. I’ll…wait in the hall for you.”

  Before I can respond, she flees the room as if all the devils of hell pursue her. With a sigh, I straighten Kathi’s blanket and kiss her forehead. She’s always so cold now. The doctors tell me that’s normal. We’re approaching the end now.

  “Oh Kat,” I tell her, taking a seat beside her bed. “I screwed up real good this time.”

  Her slack face never moves, and I long ago stopped hoping for it to. There’s no hope. Most people would have disconnected the life support long ago. She’s brain dead. She’s been brain dead since the accident.

  “I loved you so much, Kathi. I still do and always will, but I fell for her anyway. I think you’d like her. She’s funny and so damned happy all the time. I can’t do it. I can’t be with someone else after what happened to you. I failed you. I wasn’t there when you needed me. She makes me smile when I don’t deserve to smile. Not when you’ll never smile again. I was weak and I slept with her. I’m so sorry. I know you’ll never know. I know you’re gone and have been gone for four long years, but that doesn’t change the fact that we’re married and that means something to me. I had to bring her. Show her why she needs to go. I’m sorry I can’t stay longer, Kat, but I’ll be back on Saturday, like always. I love you.”