Tucker (In Safe Hands Book 4)

by S. M. Shade

  The doctor enters and asks for Frannie’s family. “Her mother is on her way,” Zoe says. “But it’ll be a few hours. I’m her sister. Please, tell me she’s going to be okay.”

  Nobody blinks at Zoe’s lie. It’s the only way they’ll tell us anything.

  “I’m very sorry,” the doctor says. “We did everything we could, but she lost too much blood. We couldn’t save her.”

  Leah collapses against me as Zoe’s cry echoes around the room.

  * * * *

  “I just need to be alone for a little while,” Leah tells me. Though it tears me up to watch her suffer and not be able to help, I nod and kiss her forehead.

  “I’ll be in my workshop.”

  Leah grabs her bottle of water and walks out toward the large field behind my place. She sat out there for a while yesterday too, and it seemed to help her get her head together, so I’m not surprised when she returns today.

  Today was Frannie’s funeral. It’s been four days since the shooting and Leah hasn’t left my side except to sit in the field.

  Dandelions have taken it over and her feet send thousands of white puffs into the air around her, but she’s oblivious in her sadness. She looks so beautiful surrounded by the cottony tufts. All I want to do is help her get through this.

  Leah is always so full of childlike happiness. The way she gets excited over the littlest things, the way she sees beauty where no one else thinks to look; I don’t want her to lose that. Especially because three brainwashed assholes decided to wipe out a bunch of people who never did anything to them.

  The guys in question were in their young twenties and had been part of a cult that preached against consumerism and greed. In their heads, a shopping mall was an evil place. All three were killed by agents during the raid. It’s too bad. I would’ve loved to get my hands on them.

  Twenty-two people died. Twenty-two pointless deaths. It’s a hard fact to face, and I think Leah is having just as much trouble dealing with the fact she lived when so many—including a friend—died. Frannie and Leah weren’t close. They’d only hung out a few times, but she was one of them, part of their little group. It’s going to take her a while to come to terms with things.

  In the meantime, she’s staying with me. I haven’t really given her a choice, but she has no desire to go home anyway. Being surrounded by the peace and quiet of nature seems to help after so much chaos.

  Dare hasn’t objected, although I know he doesn’t like it. He’s too busy trying to comfort Ayda. None of the guys are really talking much since we’re all focused on helping the women in our lives.

  Except Jeremy.

  Jeremy and Frannie had an on again off again relationship for the last few years. Everyone assumed they’d end up together eventually. I wasn’t really sure how much Jeremy cared for her until I watched his reaction to her death.

  I’d say he closed down, but that would be an understatement. He won’t talk to anyone about it and has stayed locked up at his place ever since. Justus has been checking in on him, especially after he missed her funeral today. He swears he’s okay, just hurting. Like Leah, he wants some space.

  Leah leans back on her hands and tilts her face towards the sky, soaking in the sun. I’ve never felt such fear when she was in danger and I know now I never want to be without her. I don’t want to overwhelm her right now, but I won’t wait long to tell her the words that have been itching the tip of my tongue since I saw her walk out of the haze of tear gas unharmed.

  I love her. I need to say it.

  If she had died there and I’d never had the chance to tell her, I’m not sure I could’ve lived with it.

  For now, though, I need to make us something for dinner.

  I fire up the grill and throw on a couple of steaks and potatoes wrapped in foil. An hour later, when the food is ready, she’s still sitting in the field. As I approach her, she stretches out her arm and waves it, sending a flurry of dandelion seeds into the air.

  “Leah, I made some dinner. You need to eat.”

  She gives me a small smile. “Okay. Look at them,” she says, gesturing to the airborne seeds. “We have no idea where they’re going to end up, just like us.”

  Tugging her to her feet, I wrap my arms around her. “You’re going to end up right here. With me.”

  Her blue eyes bore into mine. “I love you, Tucker.”

  The power of her words nearly knocks me off of my feet.

  “You don’t need to say anything,” she quickly continues. “I just needed you to know.”

  Her lips part just a fraction as I catch them with mine for a long, passionate kiss. “I love you. I tried not to. You’re Dare’s little sister. You’re young. But it doesn’t matter. I love you and I want you to stay with me.”

  A wide smile spreads across her face, but she shakes her head. “I have a job.”

  “Then I’ll stay with you,” I tell her.

  Her face crinkles as she thinks it over for a bit. “I love it here. I feel safe here. But I can’t just leave the school short handed. I have to stay until they can replace me. The kids need me. Then I could transfer to one of the schools in town and live here if you’re sure that’s what you want.”

  Wrapping my arm around her shoulders, we walk back toward the house. “Of course it’s what I want. You know, you could just stay here and write, Ms. Bestselling Author.”

  Her laughter fills the night and it’s the best damn sound I’ve ever heard.

  * * * *

  Leah cuddles up to me while we lie in my bed, her head resting on my chest. We’ve spent a lot of time like this lately, just wrapped around each other, talking about the future. Tonight, though, it seems the past is on her mind.

  “I don’t know anything about your family, or how you grew up,” she points out, her fingers dancing through my chest hair.

  “What do you want to know?”

  “Tell me about your parents. You’ve never mentioned them. Are they still alive?”

  “I assume so.” I run my hand down the smooth skin of her back. “I haven’t heard from them in a few years.”

  Her eyes are full of sympathy when she peeks up at me. “Why?”

  “My father was in the military. He disowned me when I was court-martialed. No son of his was going to have a dishonorable discharge.”

  “What a dick,” she blurts.

  I swear this woman can always make me laugh. “Yeah, he always was a dick. If it wasn’t this, it would be something else. I resisted the military at first. It was always preached at me growing up and I didn’t want to be like him. But eventually, I thought it might work for me since I had no other plans.”

  “What about your mother?”

  “She’s controlled by him. Completely dependent on him. We were able to visit a few times without him knowing, but I know it made her nervous. If he found out, she’d be out on the street.”

  Leah’s arms tighten around me. “Was he abusive?”

  “Not physically. He just expected perfection because he saw himself as perfect and we couldn’t live up to it.”

  “We? Do you have siblings?”

  “No, I’m an only child. By ‘we’, I meant me and mom.”

  She’s silent for a few minutes. “I hope you get to reunite with them someday. I don’t see my mom either.”

  I’ve wanted to ask her about her past since the first time I kissed her, but I’m also afraid of upsetting her or saying the wrong thing.

  I scoot up until I’m sitting with my back against the headboard and she lays her head in my lap. I’ve learned she loves it when I play with her hair and I want to put her at ease since I know it’s hard to talk about.

  “Will you tell me what happened, Leah? Are you estranged from your mother because of the abuse?”

  “Yes. I tried to tell her what he was doing, but she never believed me. I figured if my own mother didn’t believe me, no one else would. I didn’t want my dad to be angry at me for accusing his brother so I kept my mouth shut.
Dad died when I was almost sixteen and we moved away from his brother. I thought it was over.

  “But then mom arranged for them to come and visit. They were going to stay a week and I just…couldn’t. I told Derek and you know how that turned out. He spent three years in prison for beating Uncle Howard until he was paralyzed.”

  “He did what any real brother would do,” I tell her.

  “And he gave up three years of his life for it.” Her voice betrays the guilt she still feels.

  She sits up, and I pull her into my lap. “And he doesn’t regret a day of it, sweetheart. That I know for sure.”

  “Do you want to tell me what he did to you?” I won’t push her, but I’m hoping it never went beyond touching.

  Her chest heaves on a deep sigh. “It started as touching, but by ten it was intercourse. He said that was my fault because I wouldn’t blow him.” I don’t know how Dare resisted killing the fucker.

  Her arms wrap around me and I look down at her. “Leah, when we slept together, if I did anything to hurt you…” It’s been on my mind ever since that night. At the time, I never even thought that I might be dragging up bad memories or that she might have some problems with sex because of what happened to her.

  “You didn’t,” she says quickly. “I’ve been through therapy to help me deal with everything, but my sex life has never really been affected. I dealt with a lot of guilt, mostly. I thought I must’ve done something to lead him on, even at eight years old. I know that’s not true now.”

  She sits back and looks me in the eye. “I don’t want you to see me as some damaged person or worry about traumatizing me when we’re in bed. I promise it’s not an issue.”

  She’s tearing my heart out. “I’d never see you as damaged. I see a strong, beautiful woman who gives me a constant hard on.”

  She giggles which was the response I was hoping for to lighten the mood. “And I see a broody man who tries to hide his kindness. And also makes me want to take off my panties every time he enters a room.”

  “Is that the kind of dirty stuff you write in your book?”

  Giggling, she looks up at me. “What makes you think I write dirty stuff?” Her eyes widen and she sits up straighter. “Did you read my book?”

  “I have it, but I couldn’t make myself read it. I was trying to get over you. Now, you can bet I’ll read it.” A blush climbs her cheeks. “What? You don’t want me to?”

  “I may have…drawn a little bit from my life and my time here.”

  “Are you trying to tell me I’m in the book?”

  “No! Well…parts of you, I guess. And there’s this sex scene…I just don’t want you to think I’m a freak.”

  “Oh, now I’m definitely reading it.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Leah

  “An hour, I promise. No more than that. He’s been a good friend to me. I owe it to him to end it in person.”

  Tucker isn’t crazy about the idea of me meeting with Quinn to officially break things off. I feel guilty, but I know I shouldn’t. Quinn and I weren’t exclusive and we hadn’t even slept together yet. I’ve slept in Tucker’s bed for the last week, but we’ve only held each other. I haven’t done anything wrong, but I know Quinn will be disappointed and I hate to hurt him.

  I told Quinn when we started seeing each other I wasn’t ready for anything serious. I was just doing my best to move on when every day began and ended with thoughts of Tucker. It was like he was haunting me.

  Tucker nods, his lips pressed together. He isn’t going to try to stop me, but he’s not going to pretend to be happy about it. “I expect you to have dinner ready when I get back,” I tease as I open the front door. “There’s an apron hanging on the wall.”

  Quinn is waiting at the nearby park where I arranged to meet him. He stands from the park bench and hugs me. “Hey, how are you doing?”

  “Better. I’ll be okay.”

  We sit down and I swallow hard. “Look, Quinn—

  “I know,” he interrupts. “You don’t want to see me anymore.”

  He smiles sadly at my look of surprise. “You had me meet you instead of inviting me over like usual. It’s not hard to figure out.”

  “I’m sorry. I really like you and I’ve had a lot of fun with you, but I’m in love with someone else.”

  “The big guy from the hospital?”

  “Yes.”

  Quinn sighs. “Well, he’s a lucky guy.”

  I peek up at him. “Thank you for being so good about this.”

  He gets to his feet. “We never made any promises to each other and you told me from the start you weren’t ready for anything serious. It sucks because I think we could be good together, but I understand.”

  “Take care of yourself, Quinn.”

  “You too,” he replies and walks away with his eyes pointed at the ground.

  After the understanding way he took the news, I feel like shit, but it had to be done.

  Now, I just have to find a way to tell Derek about Tucker without any more fists flying.

  I’m barely gone an hour, and when I return, the house smells wonderful. “I smell garlic,” I call out, kicking off my shoes inside my front door. “What are you making?”

  I’ve never seen Tucker cook before so I’m a little afraid. When I round the corner into the kitchen, a burst of laughter leaps from my throat.

  Tucker is standing with a spoon in one hand, calmly stirring a pot of sauce that’s bubbling on the stove. The only thing he’s wearing is an apron. My bright red apron loops over his neck, and ties above his bare ass.

  Tears fill my eyes because every time I look at him, I fall into hysterics again. It would be funny to see any man in just an apron, but Tucker’s muscular bulk looks like it’s trying to burst through the material. Plus, this is so out of character for him. He’s not known for jokes.

  He turns and crosses his arms, leaning against the counter, his face impassive as if he cooks like this every day. “You said you wanted dinner.”

  Wiping my eyes, I walk up and grab the edge of the apron, giving it a little tug. “I did.” Still chuckling, I lift the front of the apron and watch as his cock hardens. “All I did was look at it,” I tease.

  “All you have to do is be in the room.”

  I can’t resist. I wrap my hand around him, giving a couple of long, slow strokes. A curse jumps from his lips and he reaches behind him, turning off the burner. Suddenly, I’ve never wanted anything more than I want to bring this man to his knees by getting on mine.

  I reach around and untie the apron, and he tosses it away. A groan rumbles his chest when I kneel down. Silver eyes plead with me when I take my time, and his entire body jerks when I lick the sensitive spot beneath the head.

  “You don’t know how many times I’ve pictured this,” he growls.

  “Being naked in my kitchen?” I tease, licking him again and reveling in his reaction.

  “Your lips around my cock. Those innocent eyes looking up at me.”

  Caressing his balls, I look up at him. “I’m afraid I’m about to kill the impression you have of my innocence.”

  Before he can respond, I take all of him that I’m capable of. He’s big, there’s no deep throating him, but by the way he groans that’s not going to be a problem. One of his hands reaches back to grip the counter, while his other tightens in my hair.

  I’ve never really minded giving head, but it’s not typically enjoyable. It always used to make me feel a little…demeaned, even if I was the one initiating. Something about being on my knees in front of a man just triggered odd feelings of shame that I assume are related to my past abuse.

  It’s not like that with Tucker. I can feel the respect and care in the way he caresses my head and neck while I increase my pace. He traces a finger across my cheek and over my top lip, and I suck him hard. His groans and curses spur me on until his hand tightens on my shoulder and he murmurs, “I’m going to come, babe.”

  Yeah, he is.

 
I cup his balls and reach one finger back to stroke just behind them and he jerks, coming down my throat. I can’t help the grin on my face when I feel his legs weaken and he grasps the counter, breathing hard.

  I plant a few kisses on his chest as I stand up. “Now, what’s for dinner?” I tease.

  “You,” he growls, yanking me off my feet.

  He has me stripped down to nothing by the time we reach my bedroom. “Turn off the light,” I order and he just laughs, shaking his head.

  He stands at the foot of the bed and grabs my ankles, pulling my legs over the edge of the bed and parting my knees. He stares down at me until my face heats. “There’s that innocent blush,” he murmurs. “Get used to it, Leah. I’m going to be looking at you like this every day.”

  His eyes never leave mine while he reaches down and drags a finger through my folds. “So wet. Did sucking me turn you on?”

  “Yes,” I moan, responding to his question and the sensation of his thick finger dipping inside of me. He finds my spot and grins with satisfaction when my hips jerk off the bed.

  I’m already on the edge. “Oh, you’re not there already, are you?” he teases, adding another finger and rubbing quicker.

  It’s embarrassing how fast this man can make me come. Just looking at him, standing over me with a sheen of sweat covering his muscular chest is enough to do it. “Feels so good, doesn’t it?” His deep voice is not helping me resist the sensations stealing my sanity. “Fight all you want, sweetheart. You’re still going to come all over my hand.”

  His words send me over the top, and I grip his leg as I shudder and shake through an intense orgasm. When I recover, he’s staring down at me, his gaze scorching my skin. His cock bobs between his legs, hard and ready. Wow. He bounces back fast.

  Leaning over me, he presses his forehead to mine, and we stay that way for a moment, breathing each other’s air. “I love you,” he murmurs.

  “I love you, too.”

  After slipping on a condom, he crawls up my body and proceeds to kiss every inch of me until my skin is singing. My hands roam his back, tracing every luscious line and crevice.