Pretty Boy D: A Best Friends to Lovers Standalone (Kings of Cypress Pointe)

by Rachel Jonas

  “It sounds like this could be a good networking opportunity,” I reason. “These meet-ups draw some pretty important people out of the woodwork. And… that’s kind of huge for you right now. No telling what you’ll miss if you don’t go.”

  Something flickers in his eyes and I try not to let it affect me, bracing myself.

  “There’s no telling what I’ll miss if I do,” he says, his stare darkening with the words.

  Heat creeps up my spine, and that feeling is precisely the reason we need a break.

  “Joss.” His voice is distant when he speaks my name. Like he’s holding back, fighting himself on saying more.

  My chest rises with the deep breaths that follow. I’m not strong enough to keep up this façade for long, so I pray he doesn’t push.

  “Just say the word and I’ll turn this down. In a heartbeat,” he says softly, pinning me to my seat with that deep gaze he’s kept set on me this whole time.

  I want to cave. Everything in me wants me to cave, but… I can’t.

  Memories of my parents’ loveless marriage flash in my thoughts—empty glances, broken promises, betrayal—and they sober me quickly.

  We cannot become them.

  Ever.

  “You have to say yes,” I answer. “Besides, I’ve got work to catch up on, too. I haven’t replied to any of your email messages in a few days and I need to get started building your website. So, yeah. I think you should go.”

  On the outside, I try to make it look like I don’t care, but on the inside, I feel everything—instant regret, jealousy at the thought of another night spent with Shawna, anger toward myself that I can’t seem to just let this happen.

  With a sharp tick of his jaw, Dane’s brows gather in the center and, damn, his frustration is palpable. My eyes stay glued to him as he lifts his phone again, watching as he erases the first message, replacing it with another. One that’s more sensible, one that’s safe, one that’s better for us both.

  Dane: I’m in.

  With that, he shoves the phone into his pocket, then shifts his weight in the opposite direction, leaning away to settle against the door instead.

  He watches the city pass outside his window and I watch him—the only boy I’ve ever really trusted, the only one who makes me feel like, saying yes to him, could be the difference between having it all and losing it all. And, if I’m honest, that scares the shit out of me.

  He hates this, being kept at arm’s length, but only because he doesn’t know what I know, hasn’t seen what I saw growing up with two people who started out very much like we have. I’m protecting our friendship, protecting our hearts.

  Protecting him.

  As bad as this hurts, it’s what’s best.

  23

  Dane

  A pocketful of business cards, a dozen calls scheduled to discuss photoshoots, a girl on my arm most guys would chew their own hand off to be with. But me?

  I’d rather be home, chilling with the girl who’s made an art of pushing me a way.

  That shit sucks.

  Big time.

  Shawna reaches across my shoulder to adjust my collar, then smiles up at me. I try to flash one back, but it feels awkward as hell, which means it looks at least that. I’ve never been good at hiding my feelings, and tonight, the pervasive thought preventing me from having a good time is of how much it pisses me off that Joss is still in denial.

  She thinks her parents were screwed up? Well growing up under the same roof as Pam and Vin Golden was no fucking picnic. And, yes, being an eyewitness at ground-zero of our parents’ trash relationships messes us up, but she fucking knows me. Knows I’m nothing like her piece-of-shit father.

  “You okay?” Shawna’s question has me glancing down to her.

  “Fine. Why?”

  Her brow shoots up curiously. “Well, for one, you’re super distracted. But there’s also the fact that you’re squeezing my fingers like a tube of empty toothpaste,” she answers with a laugh, slipping her hand from mine to shake it a bit.

  Guess I’m not hiding my frustration as well as I hoped.

  “Sorry. Just got a lot of shit on my mind.”

  “Wanna talk about it?”

  We push past a group near the balcony door, then step out into the open air before I answer.

  “It’s nothing you’d want to hear.”

  When I sigh, leaning over the railing, Shawna’s stare deepens.

  “Trouble on the home front?” She lets out a humorless chuckle when she turns, facing out over the courtyard below us.

  “You could say that.”

  There’s unacknowledged tension lingering between us. Like there are things we both want to say but can’t for about a million reasons. Mine mostly involve me knowing she won’t want to hear me gripe about the Joss situation. Because she’d know the frustration is rooted in something else, a much deeper emotion I’m starting to think I’m an idiot for even feeling.

  “Saw your video today,” she shares. “Looked like you and the roomie had a good time. Well, it always looks like that, I guess.”

  I shrug, not really wanting to discuss it.

  “So, since you seemed fine in the video, did something happen after that? Did it have something to do with having to be here tonight?”

  Glancing down at her, I realize she thinks she’s the problem, thinks I hate having to be here with her, and it makes me feel like shit.

  “It’s not about attending the event,” I explain. “Well… not in the way you’re thinking.”

  I hear her wheels turning as she pushes the length of her hair behind both ears.

  “Hmm… Is she upset that—”

  “Before you finish, no, she’s not mad I’m here with you,” I say with a sigh, not ignoring the fact that I wish that were the problem.

  “Well, I give,” Shawna huffs. “And I’m also starting to think I was right; coming tonight was a bad idea.”

  My gaze slips toward her just in time to see she’s starting to sulk a little. Exhaling, I pull my head out of my ass and realize I’ve been terrible company tonight. I haven’t had much to say and when I have spoken, I’ve been short with her.

  “I’m sorry. I’ve been so preoccupied with my own shit that I’ve been a complete ass.”

  She slips me a look, holding in a faint smile now. “You didn’t even compliment my dress.”

  Turning toward the courtyard again, and away from her, I laugh a little. “You look beautiful. My failure to say it out loud doesn’t mean I didn’t notice.”

  She steps closer and leans on the rail beside me. I guess she just now realized I won’t bite.

  “You look good, too. I’ve wanted to tell you since you first stepped out of the car.” There’s a shyness about her I’m not used to. Seems like she’s always so confident. So sure of herself.

  “Thanks.”

  “Welcome.”

  The conversation lulls and, without fail, my thoughts lead me right back to Joss. Wondering what she’s doing. Wondering if she’s talking to Carlos just to avoid thinking about me, about last night.

  And just like that, I taste her on my tongue, then feel the softness of her hand encircling my cock. I know I’m not crazy. We were electric together. I can’t be the only one who felt that shit.

  But since she doesn’t want to admit it’s a thing, I’ll do my best to forget.

  “You really started not to show?”

  “Didn’t see the point,” Shawna sighs.

  That wasn’t quite the response I expected, so I’m admittedly curious. “What does that even mean?”

  She smirks when I do.

  “It just means that PTSD from one rejection is enough for me. The whole ‘Tim thing’ has me gun shy to fall for someone new and, if I’m honest, you kind of scare me. Because I could see that happening with you,” she admits. “Guess the video today just seemed… different.”

  I face her fully now, resting my elbow on the rail to make eye contact.

  “The video wit
h Joss? Different how?”

  She nods to confirm, then draws in a deep breath. “There was this point after the piercing was done, when she was half-laughing and half-crying. You just looked so concerned. Like, you knew that despite her cracking up, she was in actual pain. And when a tear finally fell, you brushed it away with your thumb. It was an innocent enough gesture between friends, but… not when you look at her the way you do. It was the look. That’s what made it more than ‘just friends’. That’s what made it love.”

  I gaze at her a few seconds, then let my stare shift to the wood slats beneath our feet, feeling exposed. Like she’s just read me.

  “And… I guess I can take your silence as confirmation.”

  Frustration brings tension to my shoulders. “Doesn’t really matter what I feel. Her mind is made up about us and I’ve accepted that there ain’t shit I can do about it.”

  Shawna’s thoughtful for a moment, biting her lip when I glance her way.

  “While I’m more than aware that what I’m about to say will probably sound completely desperate, it seems that’s a risk I’m willing to take,” she says with a nervous laugh. “But if you come to the conclusion that things aren’t going anywhere with her, I’m willing to let that be enough.”

  A solemn smile touches her lips, but I’m confused. It seems she understands that when the lighthearted expression leaves her.

  “I’m… not sure I follow,” I admit, which has her face tinting red.

  “Shit, I don’t even know how to flirt anymore,” she says mostly to herself. “What I’m trying to say is, I know neither of us are emotionally available right now, but that doesn’t have to mean we aren’t, you know, physically available. To each other,” she adds, gazing up through her dark lashes.

  I only look into her eyes a few seconds before glancing out toward the courtyard again. For some reason, even imagining what she just offered feels like I’m cheating. But how fucking ridiculous is that? Shouldering the guilt of being unfaithful, when the one girl I want refuses to admit the feeling is mutual?

  Shawna takes hold of my arm, her light touch drawing me back to her stare. There’s sadness in her eyes, and a bit of something else. Hope, maybe?

  “Please don’t think less of me for speaking my mind. I just think that since we both know how much it fucking sucks to be lonely, maybe it’s okay if we’re… you know… lonely together.”

  I have nothing to say, nothing to combat that.

  “Just… think about it,” she says.

  With that, her grip on my arm loosens, and I watch her walk away, weaving back through the crowd until she disappears.

  @QweenPandora: Is NotJoss sinking her claws deeper into one of our Golden Boys?

  The pair were spotted at a snazzy event held at the art gallery tonight. Check out this pic of her clinging to PrettyBoyD’s arm, gazing at him on the balcony.

  Am I the only one dying to know what’s being said here?

  Guess we’ll just have to use our imaginations and learn to let that be enough.

  You know, unless either one wants to message me with a play-by-play.

  No? Well, can’t blame a girl for trying.

  Later, Peeps.

  —P

  24

  Joss

  “Thanks for coming.”

  I trudge slowly down the steps of me and Dane’s building and Sterling hands me one of the two lidded coffees he holds.

  “You kidding? Something had to be done. Your lame weekends are starting to make the crew look pathetic as a whole,” he teases.

  Laughing, my steps sync with his and we move at a slow pace down the mostly deserted sidewalk. Seeing as how it’s already midnight, that makes sense.

  Thinking of the time serves as a reminder that Dane hasn’t come home yet. I’m pathetic enough to admit that I checked the Arland-Danton event calendar. Tonight’s meet-up was scheduled to end at ten, so he’s just hanging out, I guess.

  With Shawna.

  Which is my own damn fault.

  Which makes me hate myself a little.

  Why can’t I just take a chance? Why can’t I separate my parents’ past from whatever future Dane and I could possibly have? It sounds so simple in thought, but as the one caught in the thick of it, there’s nothing easy about it.

  And that fucking sucks.

  Sterling’s random check-in call is how he found out I spent my evening working, instead of hanging out like most nineteen-year-olds do on Friday nights. But nope, not me. I was nerding out, working on Dane’s website until Sterling threatened bodily harm if I didn’t swear I’d meet him out here in fifteen minutes.

  Clearly, he won the argument.

  “So, this moping thing you’re doing, does it have anything to do with that pic Pandora posted?” he asks casually, sipping his coffee afterward.

  I shrug and let out a sigh. “It does and it doesn’t. I was already kind of fucked up before I even saw it,” I admit.

  Now that Sterling’s brought it up, the image is in my head again—the one of Dane looking so damn sexy in his suit, leaning on the balcony rail at the gallery with Shawna clinging to his arm.

  “Talk to me. I’m great at solving other people’s problems. It’s my own shit I can’t seem to manage,” Sterling says with a laugh.

  After excusing ourselves when cutting through a group of teens whose open-mouthed stares mean they definitely know who we are, I let out a breath. My hesitation doesn’t go over Sterling’s head.

  “You two been fucking or something?” he asks with a smirk.

  Caught off guard by his bluntness, I burst out laughing. “What? No!”

  At first, I’m staring straight ahead, but then my eyes flicker to his. He’s got this smug grin on his face like he knows more about the situation than even I do.

  “Why’d you assume that? Did he tell you something?”

  Just to get under my skin, ensuring that I die of anticipation, Sterling still isn’t answering. All I’m getting is more of that wicked grin.

  It’s so weird talking to him about this. Subtle physical differences aside, it’s like I’m speaking directly to Dane.

  “Well, is there anything to tell?” he asks, prompting me to roll my eyes, unsure of why I even doubted that he knows. The Golden boys tell each other everything.

  “Cut the shit, Sterling. He already told you about our arrangement, didn’t he?”

  His grin turns into quiet laughter. “He did, and I’ll tell you like I told him. It was only a matter of time before you two went all the way. You can only dry-hump a guy for so long before he talks you into letting him fuck you for real.”

  He’s laughing, but it literally feels like I’m talking to my brother about this. I don’t have one of those, but if I did, I’m positive I’d have this same, uncomfortable feeling in my gut.

  “Now, let me guess what happened next,” he continues. “Sex complicated things and you’re pissed he’s got this work thing with that Shawna chick. Sound about right?”

  I’m shaking my head before he even finishes, thinking he’s got me and Dane pegged.

  “Actually, you’re mostly wrong. For starters, we haven’t had sex. Second, you know me, Sterling. I’m rational and I’ve never been much of a jealous person, but—”

  “But all that shit went out the window when you started falling for him,” he cuts in, plucking words from my thoughts that I never would’ve said aloud.

  Only, he’s gotten something else wrong. I fell for Dane years ago. These feelings are nothing new.

  “I told him to go tonight,” I admit, lowering my gaze to the sidewalk. “He wanted to stay in and hang out together, but I turned him down. Because I’m a dumb-ass,” I add with a sigh.

  When I finally meet Sterling’s gaze, his brow quirks. “And… that was easier than just telling him you’re into him?”

  I see what he’s trying to do, hear it in his tone. “It’s not as simple as you’re making it out to be.”

  He’s quiet for a moment,
then drops his arm around my shoulders with a sigh. The feel of it is comforting, reminding me of the many times he and his brothers pulled me into their circle, making me feel like I was more than just a friend, but a part of their world.

  “At the risk of Dane killing me later, I’ll let you in on a little secret. Whatever bad thing you see happening down the road if you open up to him, it ain’t happening,” he says with surety I wish I had.

  “How can you know that?”

  “Because you aren’t just some crush for him, Joss. You’re not some chick he’ll get tired of and toss aside a month later,” he says in that big brother tone he takes with me sometimes.

  When I peer up, I know there’s more he wants to say, but he’s holding back.

  “Shit, he really is gonna kill me,” he says mostly to himself. “Fuck it. He’s in love with you. Has been for a very, very long time. And if there’s one thing I’d bet my life on, it’s that he’d never fuck it up if you gave him a chance.”

  My stomach feels all fluttery hearing him say these things. Yes, I know Dane’s feelings are strong like mine, but hearing it from Sterling makes it that much more real.

  Breathing deeply, I share more than I planned to tonight. More than I was able to share with Dane when we talked about it.

  “My parents were best friends once. Before eventually hooking up and trying to make a romantic relationship work.”

  “You never mentioned that,” Sterling says gravely, maybe sensing that there’s a bleak story ahead when I nod.

  “They were tight like me and Dane, but then it turned into more. They did the break-up and make up thing for a while before finally calling the relationship and friendship quits. Then, they ran into each other at a party,” I add with a sigh. “Both had a few drinks too many and she went home with him that night. Mom says they woke up in the morning regretting it, dressing in silence with plans to go their separate ways. Again.”