by Robyn Grady
“I never wanted to be a parent, period.”
She blinked and then straightened. “That’s why I thought we wouldn’t work out, Jacob. Why I decided it was best we didn’t see each other again.”
“And, frankly, I think you were right.”
She froze before visibly composing herself. “I didn’t know how you would cope with being a father.”
“Sure.” He shrugged. “Easier to opt out.”
Her jaw dropped. “That’s not fair.”
“Life’s not fair.”
He didn’t like saying it. He liked less the look on her face. But, Sorry not sorry. That was God’s honest truth.
She was getting to her feet. “I shouldn’t have come here.”
“So, why did you?”
“Because...” She paused then squared her shoulders. “Because I couldn’t forget you.”
“I see.” Churning inside, he stood, too. “You needed another fix.”
Her nostrils flared as the corners of her beautiful mouth turned down. “Now you’re being cruel.”
He was being cruel? Wow. She really had no idea.
“We were always somehow out of sync,” she added.
Jacob’s chest was so tight now, it ached. But he kept his voice even. His emotions under control.
“It doesn’t matter anymore.”
“No,” she agreed. “I guess not.”
So—over. Done. No need to shake hands, remain friends, drag this drama out any further.
But she was looking at him with such intensity, like her conclusion was something else entirely. Like maybe they’d just had a lover’s spat and she was waiting for the making up part to begin. And in that moment, with his heart blocking his throat and all that pent up stuff off his chest, a pragmatic part of him felt almost willing to listen, and even to goad.
It wasn’t as if anyone’s life would be irreparably shattered come morning.
He took a step closer. When she drew a breath then did the same, the energy crackling between them flashed and caught fire.
Focusing on her lips, he lowered his voice.
“You didn’t answer my question.”
“About needing a fix?” Her eyes glistened as she shrugged. “Maybe it’s that simple, Jacob. Maybe I’m addicted.”
He almost winced, but the language fit. This minute he needed her that much, too. More than he was prepared to ever let her know.
Threading his fingers up through the back of her hair, he enjoyed watching her limpid eyes darken and those lips quiver then part. And when his mouth claimed hers and she melted against him—when she clung on to his shirt and whimpered in her throat—Jacob embraced the sense of power mixed with relief. He hadn’t planned for this to happen, but this coming together would be different from anything they had shared before. This was purely physical. Entirely sexual.
One more fix.
One last time.
Twenty-Two
Teagan woke up with a start.
When she realized where she was—when she remembered in a flash what had happened—she grinned from ear to ear and stretched like a cat. But how long had she been lying here alone?
Last night, after Buddy had gone to bed, the adults had a hard-hitting conversation where painful truths were hashed out. Jacob had been exceptionally blunt and she’d gotten justifiably upset. But underpinning it all had been a reality neither one could deny. No matter how much they disagreed, the attraction they felt for each other only seemed to grow stronger, deeper.
Hotter.
When he had finally kissed her, she practically dissolved. In no time, they were in this guest bedroom, sans clothes and regrets. Afterward, curling up against all that amazing masculine heat, she had clocked out and fallen fast asleep.
Big day.
Now, still feeling as though she were in a dream, she slipped out of bed and into the attached bathroom. She had an overnight bag stowed away in the rental car, but for now she was happy to hurry back into yesterday’s clothes. She couldn’t wait to find Jacob and talk more because now she was certain. This time there was no turning back.
She was in love with Jacob Stone. More than that, after their day spent together with Buddy and then last night, she was looking forward to spending the future with them both. She’d never felt so sure about anything in her life. In her heart, she knew he felt the same way.
She found him in the kitchen, standing at a counter, laptop open. After rushing both hands through her unbrushed hair, she strode over.
“Guess I overslept,” she said with a big smile.
Shifting his focus from the laptop, Jacob looked across. She expected his gorgeous eyes to gleam with approval. She thought a bold grin would instantly light up his face.
Instead, he studied her with a laid-back kind of curiosity. Almost like he’d forgotten about last night. Like he’d forgotten she was even there.
“I just put Buddy down for his morning nap.” He made a move toward the percolator. “Want a coffee?”
Teagan shook herself and held up a hand. “Uh... I can get it.”
After he nodded and went back to his laptop, Teagan tried to gather her thoughts while she found a cup and poured. Had she woken up in an alternate universe? Because last night had definitely happened. Her body still tingled. Her lips still burned. But what they had shared was way more than mind-blowing sex. It was about an understanding. An irreversible coming together.
Cradling her cup, she joined him by the counter. He smelled so good—fresh out of the shower with hints of his natural scent. His hair was still damp and a pulse was beating in his unshaven jaw. She wanted to lean in and graze her lips over the spot. She wanted to tell him how happy she felt now that everything was good.
But his attention remained fixed to the screen.
She tried to make a joke. “Looking into colleges for Buddy?”
“I’m searching out community organizations around here. Thinking more about moving on from Lexington Avenue.” His eyes narrowed, like he was thinking back. “When did you say you were heading back to Sydney?”
Teagan hesitated and then smiled. That must be the reason he was acting so strange. He didn’t know.
“Actually,” she said, “that was something I wanted to talk to you about.”
His brows nudged together as his chin came down. “Has something happened? Are the kids okay?”
“Considering everything that’s gone on, they’re actually doing really well. Honey’s put on weight, and I Skype with Tate all the time.”
“So, what’s the problem?”
She tried to explain. “These past few months, Dad wasn’t the only one in danger. We older kids passed the baton, doing our best to keep Tate, and later Honey, out of harm’s way. We all felt we needed to be there when we could. But that danger’s definitely over now. Dad and Eloise still have issues to work through, but that’s really their business, not mine.”
He seemed to soak that in before changing the subject, like what she’d just said didn’t naturally lead into another conversation—about them.
“Are you hungry?” he asked, moving to a cupboard. “I could whip up some pancakes.”
Teagan’s stomach knotted. “I don’t want pancakes, Jacob. I want to talk.”
His mouth pulled to one side as he sized her up. “Talk about what?”
She coughed out a humorless laugh. “Are you serious? You’re acting like nothing happened last night.”
He scratched his temple. “How do you want me to act?”
That really took her aback. Was he gaslighting or had she truly gone mad?
“Jacob, are you saying that being together again didn’t mean anything to you?”
“I’m saying you made the decision for us weeks ago.”
“I explained—”
“You made
a choice,” he cut in. “I made a choice, too.” His gaze narrowed. “I have my son to think about now.”
A knock on the front door interrupted them. Jacob blinked before his attention shot that way. Then he checked the time on his wristwatch.
“I’m expecting someone,” he said.
Teagan tried to gather her whirling thoughts. What he’d said, how he’d acted...it had taken her completely off guard. Cut her to the quick. But his reasons for putting up this wall made perfect sense. Yes, she had made a choice, which meant when he had really needed her support, she’d stepped away. Shutting her out now probably wasn’t so much about him being hurt as it was about protecting Buddy.
The same way, not so long ago, she had needed to protect Tate.
Getting a second wind, Teagan followed him. She needed Jacob to know that after he’d taken care of whoever was at the door, they should talk again. These past weeks had been a roller coaster ride, but they were smoothing out all the humps now. This was a long way from over.
Jacob had opened the door. A woman stood on the other side of the threshold—around Teagan’s age, with ice-blond hair, wearing modest shorts matched with a midriff shirt. She was naturally pretty in a fresh-faced, girl next door kind of way.
And Jacob was expecting her...why?
“Hope you don’t mind that I’m early.” All smiles, the woman stepped inside. Then her gaze met Teagan’s and her expression changed while Teagan’s heart missed a few beats.
Jacob looked between the two women before he rolled back his shoulders and stepped back. “Monica, this is Teagan.”
Monica’s eyes widened before she sent a frown Jacob’s way. Teagan imagined the other woman’s expression said, What the hell is she doing here?
At that moment, baby noises trickled down from upstairs. Monica didn’t hesitate. She stepped around Jacob, already on her way.
“Can I go get him?”
Teagan thought of how she had raced to Buddy yesterday when she had heard him cry out on the baby monitor. But Monica obviously didn’t need to think about which room. She wasn’t worried about Buddy being wary of a new face.
Jacob sent Monica a smile. “Sure. Go up.”
While Monica flew up the stairs, Jacob stuck his hands in his jeans’ back pockets and met Teagan’s gaze. He was waiting for questions, but his silence was all the response she needed. I made a choice, too.
Feeling her cheeks burn and her heart drop, she asked, “Who is she?”
His gaze held hers. “I thought that would be obvious.”
The backs of her eyes were suddenly prickling with tears. They had slept together when he was seeing another woman? And to think she was ready to trust this guy.
* * *
Teagan had left her handbag by the couch. Now Jacob watched as she moved to collect the bag and walk out the door without another look or a word. Rather than see her stride down the path to her car parked on the street, he forced himself to shut the door and turn away.
Monica had started down the stairs with Buddy in her arms. Before Jacob could open his mouth, she got in first.
“You don’t have to explain,” she said.
He had mentioned Teagan to Monica once in a weak moment. He could admit that he hadn’t painted her in a very good light.
“She showed up yesterday out of the blue,” he said.
“None of my business,” Mon replied. “I’m just the nanny.”
Not just a nanny. Mon did a fantastic job. He and Buddy had been damn lucky to find her.
Jacob cupped his son’s flushed cheek. And when Buddy put out his arms, despite feeling like shit, Daddy found a bigger smile and took him in a heartbeat.
“He’ll want a bottle,” Monica said. “I can put his laundry on while it heats up.” She paused. “Or, if you don’t need me today after all, that’s fine. We’re still working this out.”
After learning that he would have Buddy full-time, Jacob had pulled out all the stops to find a nanny whom he and Buddy could trust. The agency had put Monica’s application forward. She was back in the area, staying with her folks after a stint working in orphanages overseas. Her credentials were impeccable and her easy way with Buddy had won both father and son over in no time. She was staying for perhaps six months in the district before moving on again. He didn’t want to lose her while he searched for someone more permanent.
He hadn’t mentioned her to Teagan because—why? He had assumed that she would be gone, well on her way, before Monica showed up today—earlier than expected, as it turned out. No one could accuse Mon of being tardy. She had their best interests at heart.
Taking a seat on the couch, he set Buddy on his lap and let the nanny know, “Everything’s sorted out. We’re all set.”
Still, Monica slid a questioning look toward the door before walking away.
While the baby played with the hairs on his arm and blew bubbles, Jacob talked to him. He did it a lot. Maybe too much. But Buddy never seemed to mind, and, after that horror of a scene, his dad could sure use a sympathetic ear.
“Teagan mustn’t think too much of me. Hey, I’m far from my favorite person right now. I know she hurt me, probably more than I’ve ever been hurt before, and that’s saying a lot. But I shouldn’t have done what I did. I swore I’d always be honest, no matter what, and I lied to her. I let her believe we could go back to how it was. But you can never go back, Buddy. The only way is forward, and in our case that means you and me. A tandem team cooking with gas. We don’t need anyone else because going that route...” He winced. “It’s just too darn hard. Feeling for someone, laying your heart on the line, worrying about when the next bombshell will land. Not that all surprises turn out to be bad. Not when you get used to the idea.”
Jacob tickled his son’s belly, which drew a giggle. God, he loved this kid. Would die for him in a heartbeat.
“Some of life’s biggest challenges,” Jacob went on, “can turn out to be blessings in disguise when you can drill down on what’s most important. On what you really want and need and cherish, even when you know there will always be more challenges ahead, because anything worthwhile requires work and trust and—”
Jacob bit down as his chest tightened and his gut wrenched.
“God, I really let her go, didn’t I? I seriously just let Teagan believe the absolute worst and walk away.”
“She’s still out front by her car.”
Jacob’s head snapped up. Monica was back from the laundry and headed over.
“I don’t think she can find her keys,” she said, taking Buddy when the baby put out his arms to her. “I was going out to check if she was okay.” Mon gave a knowing smile. “But I thought you might want to do that.”
* * *
The damn key had to be here somewhere. But the more Teagan burrowed around in her purse, the more her face burned and she wanted to fall apart. Soon enough that car key would appear. Then she could jump inside that vehicle and keep driving until this nightmare of a morning was nothing more than a sickening memory.
Jacob Stone. She never wanted to hear his name again. She needed to wipe away every thought she’d ever formed around him, particularly the ones seared into her brain from last night when she’d fallen like a sap into his arms again.
As a tear escaped and rolled down her cheek, Teagan set her jaw and cursed under her breath.
Why had she ever thought that coming here was a good idea? Wynn had it right from the start. Jacob was a first-class manipulator who couldn’t be trusted. He had taken her to bed when he was already seeing someone else—a woman who obviously had no problems with slotting in with this eligible single dad lifestyle.
Well, good luck to her, Teagan thought, dumping the contents of her bag on the hood and wincing at the screechy-clatter of lipstick, cell phone and every other damn thing hitting the metal. Good luck, and good riddance, to them all.
Suddenly the key was there, staring back at her. She snatched at the tag, but it somehow slipped under her hand and fell between the tire and the curb. Cursing again, she got down and fished the key out. When she straightened, he was there, looking even more infuriatingly sexy than he had five minutes ago.
“You had trouble finding your key,” Jacob said, like she didn’t know that already.
Her face was damp with tears, but she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing her wipe them away. And she didn’t feel the need to respond, either, other than to turn her back on him. She didn’t need his help. She didn’t need him, period.
She pressed the remote and the doors beeped open. But then she remembered the handbag stash still strewn all over the hood. As she scooped everything back into her bag, Jacob opened the driver’s side door.
Geez, what a gentleman.
“That woman,” he said. “Monica—”
“I don’t want to know,” she replied, pushing around him to get inside.
“I know what you’re thinking,” he went on, “but you’re wrong. Mon is Buddy’s nanny.”
Teagan stopped dead. Then she scowled and shook her head. That woman did not look like a nanny.
Then again, Dex’s fiancée, Shelby, didn’t look like Mary Poppins, either.
“This morning I didn’t want you to think that I cared anymore,” he said. “But I was trying to convince myself more than anyone else.” His eyes flashed in the sunshine as he edged closer. “But I do care, Tea. I care a lot. In fact, I really need to tell you just how much.”
Teagan put up a hand and shut her eyes tight. “I don’t need to listen to any of this.”
But being the overbearing man that he was, he told her anyway.
“The truth is, I’m in love with you. I’ve never said that to anyone before. But saying it now, knowing that it’s real...” His mouth kicked up at one side. “I can’t believe how good it feels.”
When the shock subsided, Teagan pushed him hard in the ribs. Then she pushed him again.
“Don’t you dare do that,” she said. “Don’t for a minute think you can play with me that way.”