Blowback

by Stephanie Summers

  “You have no idea what happened. It isn’t what you think it is.”

  “But you have fucked her before, correct?”

  Bile rose in my throat thinking about it, but yes, I had, and there was no use in lying about it now.

  “You know what? I don’t care. It’s not even any of my business.”

  “I did. Once. And it’s something I wish never happened, but that’s not what happened tonight. I promise you that.”

  “I don’t believe you.”

  “It’s the truth, Evie. You have to trust me.”

  “I don’t have to do anything, and that includes trusting you. What makes you think I would anyway?” she asked, crossing her arms. “The last time I trusted you, I ended up alone, confused, and hurt.” Her index finger shot forward, and if I’d have been closer, she probably would’ve jabbed me right in the chest. “You fooled me into believing I meant something to you when I really meant nothing at all.”

  “You never meant nothing to me. It’s complicated.”

  “Isn’t it always?”

  “If I told you everything I wanted to tell you, you either wouldn’t believe me or you’d be so appalled by me that you’d want to get as far away from me as you possibly could.”

  “So it ends badly either way.”

  “Yeah… I don’t want to hurt you again. That’s why I came here to tell you goodbye. I’m not good for you.”

  “Fuck you,” she exclaimed. “Just go.”

  “I didn’t want to leave you hanging like last time. That must have crushed you.”

  “Just fucking go. I don’t need your pity goodbye, and I can’t stand to be near you right now. Couldn’t you have at least washed the dirt from that skank off you before you came here?”

  Yanking my shirt off, I threw it on the floor. “I didn’t fuck her tonight,” I said, my voice raising as I did, and grabbed her upper arms, pulling her closer to me. “Do you smell her on me now?”

  She turned her face away and started to cry.

  “I fucking love you, Evie,” I said, taking her face in my hands. It came out before I had a chance to stop it, but it was the truth. I had always loved her. That would never change. I’d love her until the day I died.

  “You don’t love me. You don’t even know me anymore.” Placing her hands on my chest, she hesitated for a second before pushing me away.

  “You’re still the girl I fell in love with back in high school. I see it in the way you look at me. Hear it in your voice. I sense it when I touch you. I know it in my heart.”

  “Yeah, and you aren’t the boy I fell in love with. I know that in my heart.”

  “You’re right about that. I was never good enough for you, but at least back then I had a chance at being what you deserved.”

  “I loved you beyond belief. When you told me the things you did about your father and how awful he was to you and the things you endured because of him, I wanted to save you from it all,” she said.

  “I know you did, baby,” I whispered. It felt good to call her that. I hadn’t called anyone baby since the last time I’d seen her. Darlin’ I reserved for a special few people over the years, but baby was meant only for her.

  “But I couldn’t. I felt so helpless… I even thought to myself so many times that maybe if I just told my parents about you and the abuse you lived through, they could do something to help, but when I finally got the courage to do it, you were gone, and you want to know the worst of it?” she asked. A tear slid down her cheek and dripped onto her robe. I wanted to kiss her tears away, but it would only make things worse for both of us. “When you disappeared, I thought he killed you.” She began to sob softly to herself. Her hands rose to her eyes to shield her face. “And it killed me,” she whispered.

  I stepped closer to her, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her close once again. She melted into my chest, right where she belonged, but it was short-lived. She pushed me away a beat later.

  “I know you aren’t dead this time, and I know you’ve got your choice of women to bang, so just go. Get out of here and leave me alone, Jet Flanagan. I never want to see you again.”

  “I’m not leaving. Not until you understand what happened tonight.”

  “I don’t care what happened tonight,” she said through her teeth. “I wish you’d never stopped to help me today. It was a mistake to let it go this far. And to think, I was going to sleep with a taken man.”

  “Taken? I’m not fucking taken, Evie… And what about you? Who was that you told you loved earlier today on the phone? Did you think I didn’t hear that? I have to wonder if you’re the one who’s taken, and this is all just an easy out for you.”

  “Jesus Christ,” she said, throwing her hands into the air and letting them drop at her sides. “You came here to shit on whatever we could’ve built together, but you’re accusing me of looking for an out?” She pinched the bridge of her nose, and said, “You’re making my head hurt.” She dropped her hand. Her eyes focused on mine. “It was my dog if you must know.”

  “You expect me to believe that?”

  “I don’t give a shit what you believe. It’s the truth. I have no reason to lie about it.”

  “You seriously called your dog to tell it how you felt about it?”

  “Yes, asshole. I love my dog. She’s everything to me, and when I’m away, I use this app on my phone that allows me to talk to her through a speaker that sits near her bed. Maybe it’s ridiculous to you, but it isn’t to me.”

  “Do you have a cat you like to chat with, too?” I asked, trying to stifle a laugh as I crossed my arms.

  “I do have a cat, but he’s much too preoccupied with his own life to care about listening to my voice.”

  “See?”

  “What?”

  “You are the same girl I knew all those years ago. Always doing your best to show love to lesser creatures, myself included. You haven’t changed a bit.”

  “Oh, but I have changed. Not as trusting as I used to be. That’s what happens when people you care about throw you away.”

  “I didn’t throw you away.”

  “What do you call it then?”

  I turned my back to her, rage swelling in my gut. Not rage at her, but rage for the whole goddamn situation. The lies I had to tell to keep her safe. The life I had to live without her in it. The father I’d been stuck with. The mother who had abandoned me. The baby sister I had to protect at all cost. The life I could’ve had taunting me while the one I’d always known went to battle to make sure I could never escape.

  I turned to her, staring her down. Trying my best to hold it together, I could feel myself bursting at the seams. The words began to flow like an erupting volcano.

  “I call it protecting you,” I exclaimed.

  She sat down on the bed, never taking her eyes away from me. Swallowing hard, she wrapped her arms around herself, gripping her sides. “Protecting me from what?”

  “From him.”

  “Your father?” she asked. Confusion etched over her face.

  “He would’ve hurt you.”

  “But I never met him. Why would he threaten me?”

  “To hurt me. To control me. To have leverage over me and to make me do the things he wanted me to do.”

  She brought her hand to her mouth as her eyes widened. “He wouldn’t do something to some girl he’d never even met.”

  “He would. Trust me, he would. He told me as much, and if there’s anything I know about my father, it’s that he doesn’t make false promises.”

  “But why? What did he want from you that he’d use me as leverage?”

  I shook my head and sat down in the chair by the window. The conversation that’d played through my head a million times played again.

  “You’re going to goddamn do what I tell you, son,” he spat.

  “I don’t want to fight.”

  “You fight all the fucking time. Might as well put it to good use. I’ve got a warehouse up north I just acquired from so
meone who owed me big. Gonna convert it into a place to hold these fights so everyone knows what happens when you fuck with Niall Flanagan. We’re going to build you up to be something feared, too, just like your old man. It’s going to be huge, son, and I need you there. You’re going to build a reputation and make me a shit-ton of money while you’re at it, you hear?”

  “But what about Evie?”

  “She’s a distraction. You need to focus on taking care of Georgia and getting yourself in fighting shape. You’ve got the build, but you need to up your skills. I’ve got someone willing to train you, starting immediately.”

  “I can’t just up and leave her. I can’t.”

  “You can and you will, boy.”

  “I won’t do it. I’m graduating in a few days, and she’s done next year. I want to marry her, Da. I want a chance at a normal life with her.”

  “Let me put it this way, son. If you love that girl so much, you best be leavin’ her alone. Cut ties with her before I cut them myself.”

  I shook the memory away and turned my attention back to her. “He said I spent too much time with you and that you were a distraction from my true purpose.”

  “Which is?”

  “He opened an underground fighting ring. I know I never came out and told you, but I’m sure it wasn’t hard to figure out that he runs drugs and pussy. People cross him, and he wants them punished in front of everyone who might think about defying him. Most of the fights are just up-and-coming gang bangers, bikers, people who just like to fight or looking to up their street cred, but when I fight, it means something different altogether.”

  “You fight?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Do you ever lose?”

  “Sometimes,” I said, lifting my shirt and twisting my body to expose a two-inch scar on my lower back. “Not often.”

  “Did someone—” She gasped, interrupting her own sentence.

  Letting my shirt drop back into place, I said, “Fucker got ahold of a knife during the fight and jammed it into me when I turned my back.”

  “Oh my God,” she whispered. “What happened to him?”

  “Do you really want to know the answer to that question?”

  She shook her head as the color drained from her face. I hadn’t done the deed, but the man who stabbed me disappeared that same night.

  “You could’ve told me what he said, Jet. I would’ve understood. At least I would’ve known why you left, though I have to say it hurts that much more to know you started up with someone else so quickly.”

  “I couldn’t tell you. He said if I didn’t cut ties right then, he’d do it for me. I had no way to contact you without him knowing. At least I knew you didn’t know where I lived, so I didn’t have to worry about you showing up. We moved to Oakton about a month later, and I’ve been fighting ever since. And about moving on, there was no other girl. I was never engaged… There was only ever you, baby.”

  “Why would you lie to Sophie when she ran into you?”

  “I needed to make sure you didn’t still have hope for us. It killed me to tell her that, knowing how much it would hurt you when you found out, but you have to know it hurt me, too.”

  Her tears started to flow again. My own eyes began to moisten, knowing the life I wanted with her and how it’d been ruined by Niall.

  “I almost moved to Oakton a couple of years back, with my ex-husband,” she said and grabbed a tissue off the nightstand and dabbed at her eyes and nose.

  The second mention of her ex didn’t make me feel any better than it did the first time.

  “What if we had been neighbors?”

  “Unless your ex has a lot of money, I doubt that would happen.”

  “He doesn’t.”

  “We live in a pretty exclusive neighborhood now. Didn’t always, but he moved us up in the world.”

  “What does your father claim he does? You know, to throw off people to his actual business.”

  “He doesn’t really have to, but he’s got his hand in some pretty good investments. I mean, he wants people to know who he is. Occasionally, the police try to bust him on something, but nothing has stuck so far. That’s what happens when you have friends in high places and you bribe high-ranking police officials.”

  “So how does Jerney fit into all this?”

  “She’s one of his girls.”

  “Oh, wonderful. A prostitute. Never would’ve guessed that one,” she said, sarcasm coating her words.

  I ignored her comment because what could I say?

  “She lied to Niall. Claimed to have been assaulted and raped, but as it turns out, dude arranged the whole thing with her beforehand. Even paid her a couple grand for it. Sick fuck spilled his guts when I went to haul him in tonight. That was the meeting I mentioned earlier that I had to go to. Niall called while I was getting your last drink and told me to take her out.”

  “You killed her?” she asked, clutching her chest and jumping to her feet. She backed away from me slowly, glancing toward the door.

  Standing, I closed the gap between us, gently placing my hands on her upper arms. “I didn’t kill her. I swear. I couldn’t,” I said shaking my head. “I took her to the bus station and told her to get out of town.”

  “But what happens if he finds out you didn’t kill her? What happens if he finds out you’ve spent time with me today?”

  I let go of her and headed to the door. “That’s why I have to go… for good.”

  “Jet,” she called after me, but I ignored her and picked my shirt up off the floor.

  My hand reached for the door. What she said next stopped me from walking out of her life and changed everything.

  CHAPTER 16 - EVIE

  “I love you, too, Jet,” I cried out. “I never stopped. Please… Don’t leave me again,” I said with a whimper. Tears ran from my eyes like an overflowing spring.

  I couldn’t lose him again. What he told me altered everything I thought I knew about him and our failed relationship. He wasn’t the jackass who ripped my heart out and stomped it to bits. He didn’t throw me away for someone else. He was my protector. The same one he’d always been. For the first time in almost a decade, I didn’t feel like a fool over my lingering feelings for him. I know it was fast to declare my love for him, but it was all too easy when I’d never stopped loving him in the first place. “We can figure this all out together.”

  He turned to face me. Standing in place for what seemed like an eternity, he finally dropped his shirt to the floor again. His eyes, intense and hungry, skirted over my body. The next thing I knew, his hands held the sides of my head, fingers tangling in my hair as his lips crashed into mine. I instinctively placed my hands on his forearms, digging my nails into him. His kiss, laced with passion and fire, strengthened. My knees threatened to give out on me as they strained to support the weight of his kiss and what it all meant.

  For the first time in nearly ten years, I felt like I was right where I was supposed to be.

  His lips, hot and wet, danced over mine as one of his hands slid down my body, settling on my ass. His kiss satisfied a craving I didn’t realize I had until he’d embraced me. My lips parted just enough to allow his tongue access to mine. He tasted just like I remembered. My arms circled his waist as I clung to his back and pulled him closer. The tiniest of space between us felt like a deep chasm we were both trying our damnedest to fill. There was no way I could let go of him this time. I’d find a way for us to be together or die trying.

  His hands glided over my backside, finally settling on the back of my thighs. When he hoisted me up, I wrapped my legs around him and ran my fingers through his hair as I pulled back to look deep into his shadowy eyes.

  His body, hard and hot between my thighs, supported my weight with little effort as he carried me to the bed and laid us down. The distinct sound of his boots hitting the floor echoed in the silence of the room. The belt of my robe came undone with little effort under his strong hands. His fingers slid over my hip as he par
ted the robe, exposing my breast. My nipples pebbled in the cool air.

  His pupils dilated, darkening his eyes as he stared down at me like I was a goddess that he’d been privileged enough to witness. My fingers toyed with his belt buckle. His hands covered mine, pulling me up to him.

  Our bodies melded together, his erection pressing against me through his jeans. Our lips locked again just before he moved down to the hollow of my throat. The breath left his body as his thumb grazed my nipple. The soft material fell from my shoulders, exposing the rest of my body.

  I trembled, anticipating his next touch. Each second that passed between his touches felt like an eternity. His hand finally slid over my belly. I inhaled sharply as he moved to the apex of my thighs, gently circling his finger over me. As if it were a reflex to his touch, my back arched as I let out a quiet whimper.

  Pressure began to swell in my belly as he dipped his finger into me and rubbed the tiny bundle of nerves between my legs. I couldn’t stop myself from falling back onto the bed and spreading my legs for him.

  “Tell me you love me again,” he said, burying his face between my neck and shoulder, kissing me gently.

  “I love you,” I whispered, grabbing fistfuls of his hair.

  He rose to his knees and grabbed something out of his back pocket. It only took me a second to recognize the small foil packet. I sat up and brushed my lips against his rock-hard chest as I unbuckled his belt and turned my attention to the button of his jeans. Within seconds, I had it undone and began to push them down his hips. His cock jutted forward as the denim passed over it. I’d never really gotten a good look at it before, but it was an image that would be burned into my mind for the rest of my life, like an ever-present tease.

  I wet my lips lightly with my tongue before taking the head of his cock into my mouth and gently sucked. A pained groan escaped his lips as he grabbed a handful of my air.

  A few moments later, he ripped the packet and pulled out the condom. I took it from his hand, placed it on the tip, and began to slowly roll it down over him until he was completely sheathed.