Prison of the Past

by Elle Klass

  The Distance Between Us

  For the next hour they filled me in on the details and I attempted to process it all. Didier did indeed love Fetch’s artwork. The connoisseur that he was, he invited Fetch to Paris where they signed a business arrangement. When I arrived in Paris, slipping in and out of the hotel like a ghost, Fetch had only just arrived and caught sight of me. He rushed out of the hotel but I’d already disappeared. I clearly remember ignoring his phone call that day.

  He went back into the hotel and found the book I left and read it. That angered me a little as it was meant for Didier. It turns out he gave it to Didier after reading it and that spawned their friendship.

  It was a press release about my book signing that alerted their attention and they met here in the same darn hotel as me. Was fate playing a joke on me? No, this hotel was one of the finest in New York, no wonder that Didier would stay here. Their plan was to attend my first signing but, as plans go, it didn’t turn out that way. When I ran smack into Fetch. At this point I didn’t doubt they were the hotties the Betty White look-a-like was drooling over.

  All the twists, turns, and hotels in my life and they walk into this one. It turns out Didier married two years ago and his wife gave birth to twin boys just four months ago. Happy butterflies flapped their wings in my belly. He deserved a family and happiness. She was a truly lucky woman.

  Didier left to call his family, leaving Fetch and I alone. He was the last person in the world I wanted to be abandoned with. Something about him always worked my libido into a frenzy, even now.

  His silver bullets gazed into my eyes and the smile on his face disappeared. “I’m sorry about your fiancé... and I...” He heaved in a deep breath. I searched his face. “I care about you, whoever you are, and I never want to lose you again.”

  Wow! That confession gripped my soul and ripped it in two. Care. He said he cared about me and didn’t want to lose me. Did he ever really have me? Yes, he did, even when he thought I was lost. I guess it was time for a bit of my own confession.

  “It wasn’t the time for us and I never gave you a chance.” Here it goes, ready or not. “Proximity to you always does something strange to me. I didn’t realize. No, I did, but I didn’t want to understand what it was. I wasn’t ready and I’m not ready now.”

  I clearly remembered my conversation with Kacy when she came to stay with me after Happy Trails burned. I wanted a new future free from my past and Raul’s tender heart won me over. Fetch held too many strings to my past that somehow found me. I couldn’t run from them. My past stared me in the face.

  He cupped my cheeks in his painter’s hands. “I’ll wait. You have all the time you need, but don’t kick me out of your life. We’re good together.”

  What does a girl say to that? His moist lips only inches from mine. The desire inside me didn’t fight the gentle kiss he laid on my lips or his firm arms that snaked around my neck and pulled me towards his chest.

  My heart thumped steady in my ear and a part of me wanted to ravage him and enjoy the intense fun we used to bring each other, but another part of me wasn’t ready to let go of Raul. I pulled away from him. I was about to spill my guts completely. “You know about the signing and you read my book, my story. This signing is meant to take my mind off Raul and,” I paused for a second, “solve Einstein’s mystery. Please don’t tell me how dangerous it is. I know that. I also have all the clues.”

  “You are always full of surprises, but I knew there was more to this signing. You’re never simple and always mysterious. I can help you,” he offered, a naughty smile forming on his lips.

  Mysterious? I spun many lies and used them like truths, I skipped out when my agenda pushed me toward something else, much like I was doing now. In a jiff my mind switched gears. He was the second person today who offered to help me. What the heck, I’d need help with Rox. I cringed when I thought of her and what she might be doing. I owned up to running away and avoiding her, but at the moment couldn’t place why. “If we do this. If I allow you to help me we need to set boundaries.”

  His eyebrows shot up in hope. “What kind of boundaries?”

  “Ones that outline our behavior towards each other. We’ll have to spend time together and I’m not at all ready for more than friendship and a partnership. We aren’t a couple, we don’t sleep together, or share the same hotel room.” My voice steady even though my heart faltered.

  He nodded, a wry smile on his face. “Can I walk you to your room? We can look over the evidence you’ve collected.”

  What didn’t he get about boundaries? His scent drifted up my nostrils again and my body went soft. I was putty in his arms. Get a grip! Then I thought of Rox and our evidence. I wasn’t ready to tell him about her yet. “No, I can walk myself,” I said, getting up and walking away from him. I wanted to turn my head to see the expression on his face but resisted the urge. I’d see him tomorrow. I was sure.

  “Cleo,” Fetch called, his footsteps falling in sync with mine. I halted and swiped my finger against the elevator button, turning on my heels. His long hair bouncing with each step, a strand of hair caught in the stubble of his five o’clock shadow. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  I nodded, my head spinning as I acknowledged his words and slipped into the elevator. His expression solemn and his silver bullets bright. He was also a drop dead gorgeous man who’d somehow grown even more so the last few years.

  I slipped the card against the door and a green light flashed, signaling it was unlocked. Taking a deep breath I opened it. Rox’s wet hair hung to her shoulders as she poured over my laptop.

  On her bed were three new outfits. Hanging on her shoulders was a brand new extra large T-shirt with a New York emblem on it.

  I fell backwards onto my bed. Today had been a long, long day and I wasn’t sure I wanted to talk anymore tonight. The bed bounced as she sat on it.

  “I want to show you what I found,” she said with bright eyes as she smiled smugly.

  I lifted up and off the bed, my stomach pushing its contents upwards. I rushed to the restroom and hit the toilet just in time for my mimosa and spinach dip to hit the water. Slouching against the wall, I sucked in a deep, nasty breath. My only conclusion—stress. I was stressed.

  The door creaked open and Rox’s face peeked around the corner. Once she spotted me piled against the wall she ran towards me and offered her hand. I grasped hers and she lifted upwards, then poured a capful of mouthwash and handed it to me as if she read my mind. I swished and gargled, she never left my side. Once I finished she walked me to my bed. “I can show you in the morning. You need rest.”

  I hadn’t liked the girl since the moment she almost gave me a major panic attack in the car. It wasn’t her. It was her moxy. She reminded me too much of myself and now I felt an unmistakable bond forming. She wasn’t a bad kid, not at all. Rox was a focused, stubborn kid with a one-track mind. But now, seeing her compassion as she fluffed pillows and pulled the covers over me, I had to admit she was growing on me.

  She flipped off the light and snuggled into her own bed. “Night, Rox,” I said.

  “Night.”

  The next morning, I nearly jumped out of bed, my butt landing on a pillow I kicked off during the night, when a blast of pounding serenaded the door. Pushing my heart back into my chest I padded towards it.

  Seeing nothing but black covering the peephole I opened it a crack. In the hall stood Fetch. His arms behind his back, accentuating the muscles in them. Oh my, they’d grown! They gave shape and definition to the flannel button-up shirt he wore. Look away, I told myself, peeling my eyes off his physique to the wall behind him.

  “I’m here to escort you to breakfast.”

  He said he was going to call not bang on my door at, I tilted my head to read the clock, nine A.M. “I was asleep,” I said in a firm voice.

  “Now you’re awake,” he replied with a crooked smile.

  He was always so insistent and, well, intrusive. “Hmm,” I said. “I’ll me
et you downstairs.”

  His smile went from crooked to cheeky as he brought his hands in front of his chest. In each one he held a steaming cup of coffee. “I figured you’d say that. I remember you’re not awake until the caffeine rush kicks in.”

  Ay yi yi. What did I get myself into? He pushed a coffee towards me. I grabbed it. “Thanks, I need to get changed,” I said, shutting the door on his adorable face, leaving him in the hall. A pang of guilt wormed its way into my conscience. I should let him in, said the angel on my shoulder with the glowing halo. The devil on my other shoulder urged me to keep him waiting in the hall. I chose to listen to the devil and proceeded to run a brush through my straight hair and change into jeans and a sweatshirt.

  Rox stretched her arms above her head. Her body snuggled beneath the covers. “Somebody at the door?”

  Since I’d agreed to let them both help me there was no need to not tell her about Fetch, well, at least the bit she needed to know. “A friend, he’s going to be helping us too.”

  “He sounded hot!”

  Oh my oh my, hot was an understatement, more like sizzling with a heat level off the charts. What was I thinking? I needed to get my mind off him; his intoxicating scent, muscled curves of his chest, arms, and everything else. Stop it! I screamed in my head.

  I ignored her statement and padded to the door, my hand around the knob I turned towards her. “I’m going to breakfast with him. Be back soon.”

  A devious smile crossed her lips, making her freckles dance across her nose. “O—K.”

  I pulled the door open, thick soled house shoes on my feet, and drifted into the hallway. He was standing with his back against the wall and one foot over the other.

  “I was thinking we should start today by going over your clues and evidence,” he said, his voice serious but a playful smile across his face.

  I could go back into the room and get it or I could ignore his statement, but having something to talk about that didn’t include how I felt in his proximity would take my mind off him and I did agree to let him help. Once I had everything I’d collected we strolled to the elevator, stopping on the second floor and the food court.

  I took a sip of coffee as he led me to a table where Didier waited for us. He did it again! Fetch was clever and always reminded me of a cunning little boy. He acted innocent but somehow managed to set me up again.

  “Good morning,” greeted Didier in a butter-melting voice.

  “What would you like?” asked Fetch as he pulled out a chair and motioned for me to sit.

  I wasn’t hungry, in fact I felt a bit nauseous, but that wouldn’t work if I told him, so I asked him to bring me back a plate of food anyways. “A bagel and bowl of fruit please.” I hoped the bagel would settle my stomach and the fruit would hydrate me.

  Fetch turned on his heel and waltzed towards the buffet. I sipped on my coffee, meeting Didier’s gaze. I’d left him at the altar. That was the last time I’d seen him until last night. His life was whole and happy, but I still owed him an explanation or at least an apology.

  I set my coffee on the table and tapped my fingers against its top. The air lay thick and heavy with anxiety around us. The elephant growing to massive proportions until I spoke. “I owe you a huge apology. I shouldn’t have left things the way they were. You deserved better than that.” My gaze didn’t waver as I looked into his eyes.

  “It was a long time ago and I have a small confession of my own.” He did nothing wrong, what could he possibly have that’s weighed on his heart all these years? Didier grabbed my hands, stopping my nervous tapping. They were warm and soft. “I knew about your family.”

  I furrowed my brows but didn’t pull my hands away. “What do you mean, you knew?”

  He continued, “Remember when Sam went to the states to visit his sick mother. While he was there he did a little detective work on your family. It was going to be my wedding surprise to you.”

  My eyes widened, nearly busting out of their sockets, and I yanked my hands away. “You knew and didn’t tell me?” How could he? Why would he wait to tell me, instead of me spending years searching on my own?

  His handsome face sincere, he said, “I wanted it to be a surprise and I knew it would be a lot for you to swallow. When you left I was heartbroken. My telling you wouldn’t have satisfied you. Many times I thought to contact you but trouble seemed to follow you and I knew it was something you had to do on your own.”

  La Tige had once told me the same thing, except not as eloquently, and they were both right. I had to figure it all out myself, like Rox, but what did he mean by trouble. I cringed as my one dilemma in Paris rushed at me. Halette. “You knew about Halette, too?”

  He raised his brows. “I had suspicions that you have now confirmed.”

  I swallowed and shifted my gaze to an empty table. Guilt, it still ate at me. Shifting my gaze back to his solid green eyes, I said, “I didn’t mean for it to happen or for her to die. She was threatening me and us... my past. Everything about me that shamed me.” I dropped my eyes. “It was an accident.” I mentioned the incident in my book but not with great detail. I hadn’t wanted to bring legal trouble my way. “If you knew all this and had the resources, why didn’t you ever find me?”

  A slight smile crossed his lips. “I was distraught. It wasn’t until after I read your book that I looked for you. I’m sorry. That is when I found the painting that led me to Fetch.”

  His words brought the sight of my bio-mom spinning front and center in my head. Claudette told me she was distraught and scared; the reasons she never forced herself into my life. My head felt like it was going to bust with all the secrets these men kept from me and revelations. I had no reason to trust either of them. At the same time, on the same token, they had no reason to trust me. I’d spent years lying and told them each fabricated stories of my past.

  Fetch returned, setting a plate with a toasted bagel and a small bowl of mixed fruit in front of me with a side of cream cheese. I smothered the cream cheese over my bagel and stuffed a bite of fruit in my mouth, using it as an excuse not to talk. I’d done them both wrong, yet these two beautiful men of my past were here for me now. Fetch taking a seat to my right and Didier across the table.

  Stuck Like Glue

  Didier excused himself, leaving Fetch and me alone. He was the only one who never abandoned me because of my stubborn streak. Even when I didn’t return his phone calls and ran from him, he was still there, only a phone call away. His silver eyes harnessed my heart and I saw how much he cared. Their depth flowing deep into his soul. He’d always been there.

  “Show me what you have in that folder,” he said, raising a glass of milk to his lips. He took a swallow and set it down.

  I giggled at him then swiped a napkin across his milk mustache. “There, now we can talk seriously.”

  I told him about the Einstein Academy and showed him the pictures of the boys and what Rox and I discovered. My guts wrenched. Was Einstein trying to solve the mystery or keep himself alive? Maybe both, I concluded.

  But why hadn’t the police reached the same conclusion? It was Fetch who pointed out all the missing children and the murdered boys were in different states. The police may have lacked the technology to tie them together. Each state or county most likely didn’t know about the others. That made sense, perfect sense, and Einstein only knew because he was one of the boys. It brought another thought to my head. Was Einstein kidnapped too? Did he escape? My body shuddered at the thought.

  “We know how they tie together, but we still don’t have the missing link. Who would have done this?” Fetch asked, pushing his empty plate to the side. His persistence was outstanding. Who follows a woman to New York after she left him twice on the chance of seeing her again?

  “Why haven’t you ever left me?”

  His eyebrows formed a V and he punched his lips together. “I care about you.”

  “No, it’s more than that. Didier cared, but never followed. According to everyone, my b
io-mom cared but never reached out to find me. You’ve found me twice. No, three times.” I remembered how he mentioned finding me in Paris but I was gone before he caught up to me. “You’ve never once given up on me.”

  “I can’t. You are my every thought. Do you know how many times I’ve replayed our moments together?” His elbows on the table, he stared into my soul. “You’ve never forgotten me. I feel it when I’m close to you. There’s a pull between us.”

  We were older now and maybe for the first time being honest about our feelings. “I left you in New York partly because you made me mad. You gave me the impression I’d never be with someone unless they had money. I was always poor. Money didn’t mean a thing to me but made me think of all the people who tried to harm me in life. They all had money.” I was shocked at my own revelation to him, usually I kept intimate thoughts private.

  He grabbed my hands in his, warmth radiating through me and sang Don’t Go Away by Oasis. Always full of life and music by Oasis. A family at the table next to us overheard him and glanced our way. A smile garnered on my lips and a tear fell from my eye. How did I ever leave this man? He wiped my eye. His caress sent familiar feelings rushing forward. Emotions I wasn’t ready to deal with.

  I pulled away from him, cleared my throat, and stifled the burst of sensations reaching into my memory and tugging at my heart. In control, I answered his question. “I don’t know,” the judge weighed on my mind. He was involved. I knew it inside every bone in my body and he lived with Peeping Tom who always got off.

  “I’ll take this information and look it over,” he gently pinched my chin between his thumb and pointer finger.

  The large clock on the wall said one seventeen. “I need to shower and get ready.” I stood, his eyes following me as I pushed the chair in.

  He lifted an eyebrow and threw an arm over my empty chair. “OK.”

  Rox’s voice rang in my ears. I turned on my heels, her eyes glued to Fetch as she waltzed towards us. Great!

  “Hey,” she said, taking a seat at our table and parking beside Fetch. “I’m Rox.” Her dark eyes stared straight into his and she leaned forward, devouring him with her eyes.