Under the Moon (Goddesses Rising)

by Natalie J. Damschroder

  But Quinn had stopped fighting, meager though her efforts had been up to now. She could have what she so desperately needed. Wanted. She bunched the soft cotton of Nick’s T-shirt in her palms and drew it up over his head. It drifted to the floor. Nick braced her hips between his hands while she dug hers into his hair and swept her mouth up over his neck to his ear.

  “Fuck me, Nick.”

  With a groan he pulled her tight against him, his feet spread wide as he plundered her mouth. She soared, but she was riding desperation, not pleasure. This wasn’t even close to enough. She yanked at the shirt Nick had given her, fabric tearing, then her jeans and his. Nick didn’t help, as if his slower movements could calm her. But her throat squeezed until she couldn’t swallow, only the taste of his skin under her open mouth easing the tightness. He lifted her and laid her on the bed, where she sank into the plush mattress, silky pillows supporting her head and shoulders. The fabric soothed her burning skin. She wriggled her body deeper and tilted her head back, gasping for air. She cried out, wordless begging, the ache tightening into a piercing pain. She couldn’t see again, everything a haze of swirling gold and white and pearlescent color, until she wasn’t sure what was real and outside of her, and what was inside, trying to force its way out.

  Then Nick’s warm hands touched her thighs, giving her something to center herself with. His shoulders moved beneath her knees, and then his tongue was on her, gliding, stroking. She did scream then, ecstasy rocketing through her, gone too fast and leaving behind the same hunger, though now the world had solidified. He tongued her again, a long, hard finger sliding into her wetness at the same time, sending her up and over with a long, low moan. When the wave passed, her body had relaxed into the comforter, and Nick propped himself over her, his green eyes dark, intense.

  “You okay?” he murmured.

  Quinn managed a nod. She lifted her arms around him to stroke the skin of his back. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, but already the hunger had doubled again. She raised her head and bit down on his shoulder. He grunted and pulled away, but his cock had flexed against the inside of her thigh.

  “Fill me, Nick.” She closed her hand around him and squeezed. Nick’s rough hand stroked her breast, and electric flame flickered into her. “God. I need— Nick, please. I need you. Now.”

  “I need a condom.” He nuzzled her ear, her throat, and went lower to nip her other nipple with his teeth before rising back up and pressing her entire body into the bed. Quinn couldn’t get a grip on the meaning of his words. She wrapped her legs around his hips, pulled him harder onto her body, though he was already crushing her so she couldn’t breathe. His cock nudged her opening and she sobbed.

  “Hold on, Quinn.”

  He was gone only seconds, but the abandonment set loose the scream that had threatened since the lust took over. He landed on her, his mouth covering hers, tongue filling her mouth, taking the scream as he finally, finally pushed into her, so deep her body convulsed before loosening and drawing him in even farther. She tightened around his cock, her whole body tense beneath him. He rocked upward, pressing hard against her clit, then rocked again. His hands clutched her head and he kissed her, his mouth clinging, devouring, hot and hungry.

  The orgasm pierced Quinn but caught, going nowhere, imprisoning her. She ripped her mouth from Nick’s so she could tip her head back and arch. Her nails dug into his ass while he pulled out and stroked deep again, then again, harder and faster each time. The sweet agony tightened until Quinn couldn’t bear it any more. She clutched Nick’s shoulders, turned her head toward him, and whispered, “I love you.”

  He’d just murmured the words back when Quinn exploded. In the fiery shower of light, she lost all sense of herself, all awareness of anything but the ecstasy pouring through her, endlessly throbbing, emotion and power intertwined and overcoming her entire being, until at last it cast her into darkness.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Romantic relationships are more complicated when one of the partners is a goddess. It takes a strong man to adapt to the extraordinary abilities of women like us, and we face the difficulty of discerning whether they want us for who we are, or for what we can do.

  —Society Annual Meeting, Special Session on Relationships

  …

  The hotel room was silent when Quinn left the next morning for her hearing at the Society. Nick hadn’t moved the entire time she showered and dressed. He slept heavily, clearly as exhausted as Quinn had been. She’d slept a deep, healing sleep that settled the power into a slow churn inside its shield. Her rested body seemed to accommodate the foreign energy more willingly, her head clear, the overwhelming, biting lust sated.

  The sitting room had been dark, Sam’s door stayed closed, and Quinn didn’t try to wake either of them to go with her to the hearing. She needed to get used to being on her own.

  The cab let her off in front of the Society building ten minutes before nine. Alana led her to the conference room, where the board sat waiting for her.

  “Before we begin,” Quinn said after Barbara had greeted her, “I’d like to know what happened to Marley.”

  “She’s not being detained. We agreed that the leeching she endured is far more personal punishment than any we can exact. However, she is required to remain in Boston and work for the Society as an educator and counselor for the next two years. After that, she will be free to move on.”

  Quinn nodded. It was a fair decision, and she believed Marley would embrace her role, to help ensure no other goddess fell into the trap she had.

  “Shall we begin?” Barbara motioned for Quinn to sit. She didn’t want to, but after the fight with Anson and her night with Nick, she was sore and tired.

  Barbara nodded at the vice president, who read off a sheet of parchment-like paper. “The purpose of this hearing is to clarify the events of November fifth relating to Anson Tournado and the goddess Quinn Caldwell. Alleged transgressions on the part of Ms. Caldwell include doing harm to non-powerful humans and draining of power from the opposite.” She set the paper down and looked at Quinn.

  She swallowed and got her thoughts in order. “The harm to non-powerful humans was self-defense. They were armed and had attacked us before. They entered the premises—”

  “Which premises were those?”

  “An empty warehouse we’d found. I wanted a facility that would eliminate potential collateral damage, after Anson had penetrated hotel security and leeched Marley Canton in our suite.”

  Barbara inclined her head. “We will take the self-defense argument under advisement. Please address the draining of power.”

  “I watched Anson leech my sister, and I was powerless to stop it. I knew there was only one way to defeat him.” She remembered the despair when she’d almost failed, and rasped out, “I fully believe draining the power he’d stolen from those to whom it rightfully belongs was the only recourse available.”

  After a moment of silence, Barbara asked, “Do you have anything to add?”

  “No.”

  “Do the members of the board have any further questions?”

  They shook their heads.

  “Alana will show you to my office. I’ll speak to you there after our deliberations.”

  They all stood, and the door opened. Quinn followed Alana into the hall, relieved no one had thought—or been brave enough—to ask her what had happened to the power she’d taken from Anson.

  Alana led Quinn down the hall to the president’s office, her demeanor stiff and awkward. When they sat in the guest chairs in front of the desk, the executive director folded her arms and wouldn’t meet Quinn’s eyes.

  At first, Quinn didn’t understand the change from Alana’s earlier animosity. But then a possible reason came to her. “Does she know Anson got to you, too?”

  It was a guess, and Quinn wasn’t sure what she’d do if Alana admitted he had, but the other woman scowled and tightened her arms against herself. “He didn’t get to me.”

  Quinn
raised her eyebrows.

  “He tried,” she admitted. “And, well, yes, I liked him. But I never gave him anything.”

  The way she said it made Quinn narrow her eyes. “So he took it.”

  Alana jerked a nod.

  “The database? He got access. That’s how he targeted everyone.”

  “Yes,” Alana said. “And believe me, it haunts me.”

  Quinn nodded, understanding. It would haunt all of them for a long time. “So Barbara plans to talk to me in here? Why not call me back to the conference room?”

  “I think they made their decision before you came in. They just need to confirm it.”

  Quinn would be upset if she didn’t think it was going to go in her favor. “What does she want?”

  “I don’t know.”

  The tall door opened and Barbara entered. “Thank you for waiting, Quinn. Alana, you can go back to work.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” Alana left, and Barbara circled her desk to sit with a sigh.

  “Quite a month we’ve had.”

  “Yes.”

  “I’m sure you can tell the board has decided not to sanction or punish you for crossing the line. I’m sorry to put you through that, but we have to follow procedure.” She sighed and looked very tired and very old. “This has been a horribly trying situation, I don’t need to tell you, and I’m afraid it’s not going to be the last.”

  Quinn frowned. “What do you mean?”

  “The mainstream media is digging at the story, at the rumor that goddess power is transferrable. Half of them are taking a skeptical approach, which won’t cast goddesses in a positive light but will help suppress the truth. If the half who are treating it seriously prevail, however, it’s possible others will try to take power.”

  “But they can’t just take it,” Quinn protested. “It doesn’t work like that.”

  Barbara laughed, the sound more cynical than Quinn thought her capable. “That doesn’t matter. They’ll still try. The Protectorate is already working to increase its staff and alter its methods, as now in-power goddesses will be vulnerable, as well. The board will need to provide a whole new range of services for our members, from the educational programs Marley will start to a much larger, more effective security team.”

  “It sounds like a good plan.” But the sentiment was hollow. Quinn no longer felt part of the board, or even the Society as a whole. Right now, she wasn’t sure she cared.

  “I want you to consider running for president next year.”

  “No way.” She didn’t hesitate. Politics had become her enemy, and she desperately wanted home. “You have a successor, anyway.” The vice president wasn’t as old or as experienced as Barbara, but she wasn’t incompetent.

  “We need someone who’s been in the trenches, Quinn, who has experienced what’s out there and knows how to survive it. This is a new age. It needs a new leader.”

  “It doesn’t have to be me.”

  “But it should be. You’re now the most powerful goddess on earth.”

  Quinn couldn’t suppress her shock. She wanted to protest but couldn’t bring herself to lie. The power of five other goddesses swirled and danced inside her, and though she hadn’t tried to use it, her old limitations didn’t seem to exist anymore.

  Which meant her old needs didn’t exist anymore.

  Yanking her thoughts away from that familiar yet way too new and raw pain, Quinn waited for Barbara to ask her about that power. How much she had now, how it manifested, what Quinn was going to do about it. But none of those questions seemed to even occur to the older woman. Uneasy as she was about hiding it, Quinn was too afraid of what they’d do to her if they had any inkling how foreign and dangerous it felt.

  So she turned to the mundane and asked about the goddesses who’d helped Anson. “He said something about people wanting to be normal. Is that why they worked with him?”

  Barbara sighed and nodded. “I’m afraid so. We were able to track them last night, after the team took Anson into custody. He’d promised them that if they did what he needed, he’d give them the way to live normal lives. That’s another aspect we’ll need to address in the counseling program. No goddess should ever feel she has to turn to outsiders like that.”

  “No.” Quinn couldn’t imagine wanting to not be a goddess anymore. What had their lives been like, that they’d resorted to attacking other goddesses?

  Barbara checked her watch and stood. “Please think about running for president,” she urged. “I know you have a business in Ohio, but it’s not like you’d start immediately. Jeannine will still serve her term next year, but we plan to change the structure of the board with new bylaws next spring, and pending the acceptance of the membership, you would be the ideal leadership for the new Society.”

  Quinn agreed to consider it, but only to end the conversation. She had too much to do, too many other changes to adjust to, and the presidency would require more time and attention than she wanted to give right now. Maybe at some point in the future she could think about it.

  When she emerged from the elevator in the lobby a few minutes later, Marley waited for her. She crossed the marble floor tentatively, wiping her hands on her jeans.

  “How did it go?”

  “Fine. No problems.” She studied her sister, taking note of the circles under her eerie eyes, her sallow complexion. Quinn understood now the soul-deep scars the leeching had left on her sister. “You okay? Get any sleep?”

  “Not really. But it’s okay, I will. Did they tell you my punishment?”

  “Yeah. It sounds like a good plan. You’ll be great at it.”

  “I’m happy. Barbara seems determined to make changes, and I’m all for that.” She laughed, a hint of unease still apparent. “I have to start next week.”

  “What will you do with the inn?”

  She sighed. “Fran’s going to run it until I get home.” She took a deep breath. “Quinn, I have something to ask you.” Unease was an understatement now. Marley shoved her hands deep into her pockets, her shoulders rising to meet her ears. “It’s about Sam.”

  Sorrow splintered in Quinn’s heart. “What about him?”

  “What’s between you?”

  Quinn thought about all the years of recharging, all the ways Sam made her life easier, both in the bar and with her other clients, and how much he meant to her, even now. She couldn’t explain something so complex. “He’s my assistant,” she finally said, as inadequate as the description was.

  “You don’t have a…relationship with him?”

  “I’m sorry. I can’t talk about this.” It hurt too much, knowing she was probably about to lose her best friend. She crossed the lobby toward the exit, her hand coming up to press against her chest, as if she could touch the pain there.

  “Wait, Quinn.”

  She sighed and stopped. Marley came around to face her. “When we were at the inn, after you left and he woke up, we talked a little. He said he might be looking for a new job. It would be great if he could come work for me for a while. But I want a relationship with you. If you feel like I’ve stolen him…”

  “You couldn’t if you tried,” she said before she could stop herself, pain making her lash out. He’d made plans even before telling her he was going. “It’s Sam’s choice. If he wants to lea—to quit working for me and come to Boston, that’s for him to decide. I promise I won’t hold anything against you.” She cleared her throat. “I want a relationship with you, too.”

  “Okay.” Marley stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Quinn, who hugged her back. “I’m so glad you found me,” Marley whispered. Quinn squeezed her tighter. Her sister had lost a lot but was already trying to rebuild her life.

  The shield she’d maintained around the power inside her suddenly rent. The part of it that had been Marley’s seemed to recognize its origination, and it churned and surged, dragging with it the other powers, intertwined and irrevocably bound. The same headiness Quinn felt after pulling it from Anson made her sway,
a euphoria climbing up through her.

  Normally, with the full moon waning and moving away from her, using power would take considerable effort. But now, it was easier than it had ever been. The energy wanted to be used, and Quinn knew she could do anything she wanted to, with only a thought.

  Almost anything.

  She opened a conduit to her sister, attempting to bestow power back to her. But Marley was too damaged and couldn’t accept it. It rolled back into Quinn, shrinking from the dim grayness that was Marley’s capacity.

  “It won’t work,” Marley choked out as she pulled away. “You’re generous to try, but I can’t take it.”

  Generosity had little to do with it. Quinn didn’t want this. It was too dangerous, too damaging. “Why?”

  “I want it. I crave it like a junkie.” The tears flowed down her face now. “But I’m like a cracked vase. I can’t hold it.”

  It was an accurate description. Tears welled in Quinn’s eyes, too. “I’m sorry, Marley. I don’t want it. I’d do anything to transfer it.”

  “No, you wouldn’t. It would do harm, and you won’t let that happen anymore.”

  Marley was right. Maybe Quinn could force it, but if the vessel couldn’t hold it, if Marley couldn’t control it, she’d be even more broken, especially if Quinn couldn’t separate the energies and return only what was taken. She’d have to find out if all the goddesses were damaged the way Marley was, but even if they weren’t, would bestowing power back on them turn them into leeches? How could she research something that had never happened before?

  It didn’t matter. She wouldn’t rest until she found a way to make everything right again.

  “I’m sorry,” Quinn repeated.

  “It’s okay. It’s my punishment.” Marley shrugged. “I have to accept that.” She squeezed her sister’s hand, then backed away. “Thanks for everything.”

  “I’ll be in touch.”

  “Me, too. I already intend to tap you for this educational program.” Marley sniffed and rubbed her face on her sleeve. “Take care of yourself.”