Attack of the Giant Bugs

by A. J. Ponder

  You look at the strange machine. The buttons and switches must do something. “Maybe these control the insects,” you say.

  But they all have weird names like, Roaches Revenge, Parachuting into Paris and Antwerp’s Avaricious Ants. Amongst the hundreds of buttons, switches and dials, two of the bigger buttons catch your attention.

  A red button with the words, The End Is Nigh.

  A green button with the words, Happily Ever After.

  Giant ant footsteps echo from the corridor. “The Bugman’s coming!” you whisper.

  “We should press the green button now,” Richard insists.

  “Wait,” Kennedy says. “I don’t think saving the world is the Bugman’s happily ever after.”

  It’s up to you to make the decision. Do you:

  Press the red The End is Nigh button?

  Or

  Press the green Happily Ever After button?

  Press the red button

  You press the red button.

  Nothing seems to happen, except the pungent smell of burning rubber rises from the machines.

  A clock appears onscreen, and a computerized voice says, “Self-destruct in five minutes, and counting.”

  “Four minutes and 48 seconds, and counting.”

  “We need to get out of here!” Kennedy shouts.

  “Stop, wait!” you yell. “There’s only one way to get out of here and it’s past the Bugman and his ants.”

  It’s too late, Kennedy and Richard are already running.

  Desperately, you scan the Bugman’s office. There are hundreds of cans of spray. All different kinds. Ant-Bee-Good, Bugman Patented Spider Spray, Bugman Patented Bug Repellent, and more.

  You pick up a can each of Ant-Bee-Good and Bugman Patented Bug Repellent. Soon you’re running as fast as you can down the corridor yelling. “It’s going to blow!”

  The Bugman doesn’t run away. He races toward you, and orders his ants to attack.

  Richard and Kennedy have slowed, but you don’t. You catch up to the others and run past, right at the ants – spraying your cans in their faces while the countdown continues. “Four minutes and two seconds, and counting.”

  The ants shy away from the droplets and clack their mandibles. Are they confused or angry? Do insects even have emotions, or are they just waiting to kill you?

  You spray again.

  Then, as one, they start attacking the Bugman. Horrified, you watch as he’s torn limb from limb.

  Kennedy grabs you by the arm, and you hear the countdown again.

  “Three minutes, and counting.”

  You look at each other and both yell, “Run!”

  As you’re racing for the exit, more and more people join you, some quite bewildered, others annoyed.

  You’re met by World of Spies agents, with dark, dark sunglasses and World of Spies clearly written on their vests. Some of the people wearing World Wide Web of Envelopes t-shirts try to run, but there’s nowhere for them to go, and you’re all quickly escorted to safety at the front of the museum. Waiting outside with his parents in World of Safari t-shirts is the toddler in the elephant onesie. The toddler and his parents wave at you.

  You wave back, and as you do, you feel the rumble beneath your feet.

  “Cover your head and duck,” you yell to the kid. “It’s going to explode!”

  The ground is shaking with a rising growl.

  Then, behind you, the museum explodes in a ball of flame and disappears into the ground.

  Sirens arrive from everywhere. Cars unload police. And more police.

  Many of the people from the underground lair are led away, and when you look around again, all the World of Spies agents have disappeared. Soon there’s hardly anybody left except you, Kennedy and Richard – and people wearing various World of “Something” logos.

  The parents of the toddler give you an elephant keychain, with a single golden key attached. “This is the key to the zoo. Come and visit, if you ever need us.”

  The toddler waves goodbye. “Next time, I’ll have lots of balloons. Mum said so.”

  Ms. Xavier appears. “Congratulations, great work,” she says. “You three stopped the Bugman. A bit unfortunate about the museum, but what can you do? Without your help we could have lost the whole city, even the world.

  “We need people like you in WOS (World of Spies). Will you join Kennedy and Richard, tonight? We’ve decided to make you all fully-fledged field agents.”

  That night, when you are brought to the WOS headquarters, they shower you with more praise, and give you a certificate that looks like a piece of paper and only shows your spy certification when you wave a black light over it underneath a full moon. You also receive a spy book with a button, advertising the WOS mailing list. If you join, you’ll never know when or where you might find an adventure. Fabulous and exotic locations you can visit from the comfort of public transport or even your own bedroom. Also, watch out for underground bunkers and discounts on books. So Press this button now!

  There’s a big long boring speech, of course, but it’s great because it means you’re a field agent of the World of Spies. Now you can help save the world again and again, and even visit the zoo whenever you like. The best part is you get the most amazing spy gizmos, including a car that can be used as a submarine or an airplane with its own built-in defense and entertainment systems, and even a Frankie-patented limited-action time machine.

  Sometimes, late at night, you wonder what would have happened if you didn’t take this path. Would you have died in the merciless grip of a spider, or in the jaws of some other creepy crawly? Would you become a minion for the Bugman? Or found new and exciting ways to save the world?

  For more adventure, click on a link to:

  Go back to the museum.

  Or

  Go to the Adventure Contents and choose any path.

  Press the green button

  A mass of balloons fall while triumphant music plays.

  “What just happened?” Kennedy asks.

  Richard shrugs.

  The Bugman appears behind you, wearing his ridiculous grasshopper face-mask. “Congratulations, I was just about to press that button. Thank you for helping me take over the world.”

  “No!” you yell.

  “Mwah ha ha. Hold them!” he snaps to the ants.

  The ants grab you with their mandibles (insect mouths that look like pincers lined with teeth).

  It’s terrible. The more you struggle, the more the mandibles bite into you. You’re unable to do anything but watch. He presses more buttons on the enormous control board. A tray opens, and he shoves Frankie’s machine into the hatch labelled SuperSize.

  On the screens, people are no longer walking through the giant insects, they’re screaming and running away in terror. It’s no longer a simulation. Giant bees are really swarming over City Hall. Giant spiders are really falling from the sky on enormous parachutes. Ants are parading down Main Street. Termites are creating a massive mound outside the police station. The longer you look, the more horrible it is.

  “Mwah ha ha,” the Bugman says. “See my giant spiders? Aren’t they magnificent? Soon they’ll be running all the airports and parachuting into every major city in the world.”

  The Bugman has weaponized Frankie’s machine! And now he’s about to take over the world.

  What an evil diabolical genius.

  He’s already turning his monitors to more simulations. Huge insects are taking over the White House and hundreds of parliamentary buildings all around the world. Even Buckingham palace!

  The world is at risk! The madman is destroying everything! You struggle valiantly. Kennedy and Richard are crying out in horror, pleading for the Bugman to change his mind.

  All your struggling is futile. The ant jaws grip you tighter and tighter.

  “Oh, go feed them to your young,” is the last thing you hear before the ants tear you apart.

  I’m sorry, you’ve been eaten. The world of bugs is a dangero
us one, and the world of evil villains, even more dangerous. Sometimes a single decision can mean life or death. If you want to find out what would have happened if you pressed the big red button, why not try now? If not, there are still more adventures, more gloriously hideous deaths, and opportunities – not just to become a heroic super-spy, but to join the bad guys, or be turned into a mouse!

  For more adventure, click on a link to:

  Go back to the museum.

  Or

  Go to the Adventure Contents and choose any path.

  Suggest you follow the trail of the class and the Bugman

  Kennedy and Richard agree, and you all hurry back to the bug exhibit.

  You look around. The class is gone! The terrariums are gone! There’s nothing left except the giant models and displays.

  “What’s this?” Kennedy asks, kicking brown scat across the floor.

  “Ant poop!” Richard says.

  You follow the trail of giant ant poop through a door and out to a grassy courtyard surrounded by statues. The trail stops at the base of an elephant statue.

  There are other statues around, but nothing else that catches your eye.

  Where could they have gone? Under the statue? Maybe they shrank? Or have you lost the trail? Where else could the ants have gone?

  You retrace your steps, intending to go back into the museum to get help, but the door is firmly locked. You skirt around the outside of the building along a narrow path. No sign of ants yet. But there’s a lot of noise coming from the front of the museum.

  “Maybe the ant poop trail really did lead to a hideout under the elephant statue,” you say.

  Kennedy shrugs. “Better check that racket first.” She holds up an arm and together you creep very slowly around the side of the building.

  As you approach, you see the commotion is from people protesting behind police tape. Journalists are busy shoving microphones in people’s faces and emergency services are all there, lights swirling, but without their sirens. Out, beyond the crowd, smoke from fires hangs over the city, and there’s the distant wail of sirens punctuated by the crack of gunshots.

  The city’s in chaos.

  With all these police about, maybe they can help. Relieved, you step out from the shadows.

  The ominous click of guns greets you. Police are pointing their guns at the three of you!

  A loudspeaker squawks so loudly you want to clap your hands over your ears, but moving doesn’t seem like a good idea.

  The loudspeaker roars into life. “Stay where you are and put your hands up!”

  Kennedy, Richard and you put up your hands – very slowly.

  The police don’t move, as if they’re not sure what to do.

  “I don’t like this,” Kennedy whispers.

  “Join the club,” Richard mutters.

  You try not to laugh. Maybe it was the bad joke, or maybe it’s the toddler in the elephant onesie running out fearlessly in front of the police. “Don’t shoot, they’re my fwends. Look! I got my bawoon back. See? It’s a got a basket and a tiny person.”

  Two people with World of Safari shirts dash over to the toddler. “That’s okay, darling,” the woman says and they hurry him away. But nobody seems too frightened of you anymore.

  Three journalists rush over. They thrust microphones into your faces. “What is happening? Who’s taking over the world? Is there anything you’d like to say?”

  Kennedy and Richard are silent. Kennedy’s too busy texting something on her phone, probably letting people know where Ms. Xavier is. And Richard is looking in the wrong direction.

  You have to say something. Do you:

  Tell the journalists you think the Bugman has a hideout under the elephant statue.

  Or

  Tell the journalists you’re just a kid on a school trip.

  Tell the journalists you think the Bugman has a hideout under the elephant statue

  “It would make sense,” Kennedy says. “There’s nowhere else the giant ants and all those people could have gone.”

  Two police officers in freshly starched uniforms step forward. “Show us,” they say.

  You, Kennedy and Richard lead them to the elephant statue. The trail of ant-poop clearly ends here. “See?” You point.

  One of them sneers. “This is ridiculous! Why are we listening to kids blathering about ant poop?”

  “Fine,” Kennedy says. “Stand back.” She pulls two whole packets of gum from her pocket and throws them in front of the statue.

  The earth explodes. You try to duck, but fall over as the ground rocks beneath your feet. When you get up again, everyone’s covered in dirt and grass.

  Red-faced, the police brush the mess off their uniforms. They turn on Kennedy, “Your mother will hear about this! What has she said about you carrying explosives?”

  Kennedy shrugs and points at the hole.

  You peer into the murk. There’s a secret passage below, with two very singed, giant ant carcasses. They smell disgusting, like burnt hair – and they’re still smoking. It’s so revolting you almost vomit.

  The sneery police officer does vomit.

  Kennedy laughs. “Come on,” she says. “Let’s have a look. Maybe we can—”

  “Oh no, you don’t,” one of the officers mutters. Then they both try to shoo you away.

  There’s a countdown running. “Four minutes and 48 seconds and counting.” It’s coming from inside the bunker.

  “Blast,” Kennedy yells. “I think someone’s activated a self-destruct.”

  “A bomb!” you shout. “We have to get everybody out of there!”

  “Go and get a rope,” Kennedy yells at the police. She jumps into the ragged hole, squeezing past the giant ant corpses and into a segment of corridor only partially filled with rubble and dirt. You and Richard follow her.

  The stinking ant carcasses smell worse from down here. You look around. World of Evil posters tenaciously cling to the walls, but each of the exits are blocked with piles of dirt and rubble.

  Muffled voices and desperate scrabbling comes from behind one of the piles of rubble.

  “Four minutes and ten seconds and counting.”

  Together, you start clearing the boulders. Soon the police have found a ladder and there’s a chain gang removing the rubble.

  “One minute and counting.”

  You hear Frankie’ voice on the other side. “I can stop the bomb without the code,” she says. “I can solve it, but only if someone can tell me what the Bugman’s favorite insects are. One has 11 letters. The other has three.”

  She gives you three choices.

  Ant. Grasshopper.

  Or

  Bee. Caterpillar.

  Or

  Cat. Lepidoptera.

  Tell the journalists you’re just a kid on a school trip

  Some friendly people pull you, Kennedy and Richard through the crowd at the front of the museum, toward a waiting ambulance. A lady in a pink dress hands you a hot chocolate, and the paramedics give you a blanket for the shock.

  “I’m in shock. Look, I’ve got a blanket,” Kennedy jokes.

  Not that the blankets and hot chocolate make you feel any better. In less than an hour, the news is released that the Bugman has taken over the world. You, and everyone in the whole world are now his minions. Your only hope is that someday, someone will return Mr. Wilder’s bugs back to their proper size.

  Now your adventure is over, there are so many paths to explore; becoming a world class spy, raising your own dragons, or even dying horribly while being torn apart by ants.

  For more adventure, click on a link to:

  Go back to the museum.

  Or

  Go to the Adventure Contents and choose any path.

  Follow Frankie through the staff only door

  You run as fast as you can, to catch up to Frankie, and crash into a glass cage filled with monarch butterflies. They flutter into the air. The plaque on the butterfly cage says, Most butterflies feed on necta
r. Our feeder contains fortified sugar water.

  You’ve lost sight of Frankie. Where is she? Oh, there she is, disappearing around a corner. You run to follow and crash into her. Ow! She holds her finger to her lips, and points to something.

  It’s the tour guide, Jeremy Wilder, putting on an ugly grasshopper mask. Turning, he spots you and Frankie.

  “Mwah ha ha,” he says. “Two kids can’t stop me. I’m the Bugman and I’m going to take over the world.” He points Frankie’s transmogrification remote at the two of you.

  Do you:

  Try and grab the remote?

  Or

  Put your hands up?

  Try to grab the remote

  Bravely, you rush over and grab at Frankie’s remote. You get your fingers on it, but the Bugman isn’t giving up without a fight. Frankie runs up to help.

  The Bugman steps back, pulling at the remote. He’s trying to yank it free.

  You hold on tight, even though he’s dragging you like you’re on the losing side of a tug of war. For a skinny guy, he’s pretty strong.

  Beep.

  “Oh, no!” says Frankie. “What are you doing with my transmogrifier?”

  A spider on the ceiling grows to an enormous size. It drops to the floor, all its eight eyes watching you.

  “Quick, hit the reverse button for exactly two seconds,” Frankie yells. “It’s the black one.”

  You struggle, stretching your thumb to hit the black button while the Bugman is fighting you for Frankie’s machine.

  It buzzes. There’s more beeping. Beep, beep, BEEEEEP. The machine’s vibrating so fast, it’s hard to hold on.

  “It’s going to explode!” Frankie yells.

  You let go.

  The Bugman opens the door. He throws the machine into a room full of terrariums. Full of bugs.

  Frankie’s machine explodes in a flash of light. In seconds, all the bugs in the room are growing.

  There are ants as big bulldogs, scorpions the size of lions, and a praying mantis that towers over everything (fortunately there’s a really high ceiling). A moth grows so big it breaks out of its container, showering shimmering wing-scales everywhere. And there’s a monarch butterfly as large as a pony – no, a horse. It flies up and lands on a display table, the glass cracking under its feet.