Mixed Bathing in Another Dimension: The Hero of the Unlimited Bath

by Nagaharu Hibihana

  Haruno chose a thin, one stute long sword, while Sera chose an even shorter thin short sword. I also chose a dagger as a sub-weapon. This was a weapon that had many other uses aside from battle, so I recommended it to Haruno and Sera, and all three of us ended up ordering the same one. It made me a little happy to know the three of us had matching daggers.

  After that, we went to the tailor’s workshop. So far, I’d borrowed all my clothes from the temple, so I needed to buy my own before I departed.

  “Is that sign... a leaf?” I asked. Above the door to the workshop was a sign with a big leaf on it.

  “That’s a fig leaf, the Ficus brand symbol,” Mr. Butler answered.

  “Is the Ficus brand really good or something?”

  “Ficus was the name of an old craftsman whose skill earned him great fame. The fact that his brand has a shop in every big city around the world should tell you just how skilled he was.”

  “Awesome!” I blurted out.

  Clearly, Ficus was a world-famous brand. When I nervously entered the shop, I was completely unprepared for what I saw.

  “Are they... trying to insult their clientele?” I asked.

  “Absolutely not,” Mr. Butler replied.

  “Then what? Are they just trying to keep male customers away?”

  “Well, maybe.”

  “What do you mean maybe?!”

  Inside the workshop were samples just like we’d seen at the weapons and armor shops. However, within this shop, there was nothing but female underwear on display. The moment I entered, I felt a silent oppression that was basically telling me I needed to leave.

  “If this is enough to startle you, then you have a lot more training to do,” said Mr. Butler, who didn’t look the least bit fazed. Maybe he was actually a perverted gentleman.

  Haruno and Sera also had reddened cheeks, and looked just as embarrassed as I did.

  “Huh? Did European underwear really look like this in the middle ages?” Haruno asked.

  She had a point. All the underwear on display had modern Japanese designs. The rest of the clothing all fit with the fantasy atmosphere, but this underwear was clearly from a different era.

  As we stared at each other, a female clerk came out and answered Haruno’s question. “The Great Ficus was an underwear craftsman who specialized in female underwear.”

  “Well, I guess every craftsman has his or her specialty, so there’s bound to be specialists in underwear out there somewhere...” I said.

  “The Great Ficus sought to answer this question: What sort of underwear makes the female body look the most beautiful? Some say his research alone advanced female underwear history by a thousand years!”

  “What a pervert!” As the clerk proudly continued her explanation, I just couldn’t help but shout that out.

  After we regained our composure, we continued purchasing our own outfits. Of course, we couldn’t do it together, so I split up from Haruno and Sera.

  “Still, don’t you think they’re putting a little too much emphasis on that one category?” I asked. There was an area for men’s clothes inside the workshop as well, but it was incredibly small, and only covered about 20% of the entire shop.

  I picked up a piece of underwear. It wasn’t a loincloth or anything, but it didn’t look like any sort of design I had ever seen before, either. In fact, it looked like a pair of boxer shorts from the distant past.

  “So, that Ficus guy never made any male underwear?” I asked.

  “The Great Ficus’ motto for male underwear was: ‘One leaf is enough,’ and never crafted a single piece of male underwear,” the clerk answered.

  “This is starting to make my head hurt... You mean all the underwear here is stuff that his apprentices or whatever made after his death?”

  “Yes. Incidentally, Ficus died over 200 years ago.”

  “So despite having over 200 years to work, none of his apprentices were ever able to surpass a single man?”

  “The Ficus brand is still unrivaled in terms of men’s clothing as well.”

  “...Man, Ficus is incredible.” The next thing I knew, I was praising him.

  This Ficus guy was a pervert – a huge pervert, that much was true. At the same time, I couldn’t deny the fact that he was also a huge genius.

  “Just as he preached, the Great Ficus never wore anything but a single leaf throughout his entire life, until he died of an illness one winter day,” the clerk went on.

  “What was this guy trying to prove?! Wait, is that what the leaf on the sign is supposed to be?!”

  Apparently, the fig leaf was now considered a ceremonial uniform in honor of Ficus’ great achievements. How did it even stay in place? With magic, of course.

  How’s that for some fantasy?

  This was the last thing I wanted in my fantasy story.

  Apparently, it was even acceptable for him to appear like that in front of the king, but in the 200 years after his death, no one else had followed his lead. For better or worse, the Great Ficus truly was unsurpassable. I sure as heck didn’t want to try and surpass him.

  Leaves aside, even though the designs looked a bit old, the clothing seemed to be completely functional, so I decided to buy all my underwear at that shop. I also ordered some travel clothes and had the clerk measure me. After placing all my orders, I paid for the ready-made clothes that I was going to take home that day and had them bundled up. Still, the girls had yet to finish their shopping. It seemed like it took girls a longer amount of time to shop, especially when it came to underwear, so I decided to patiently wait for them to finish.

  After a while, Haruno and Sera returned from placing their orders. When they saw Mr. Butler and I, they both bowed their heads apologetically. We merely laughed it off, understanding that it was a man’s eternal duty to wait for women to finish shopping. Apparently, both of the girls had to get all of their bras made-to-order – perhaps because they were both much curvier than their clothes gave away.

  On our way home in the carriage, Haruno started talking to me, with a mixture of shock and wonder on her face. “You may not be able to understand this, Touya, but... I think the underwear in this world is a lot more advanced than ours.”

  “...Seriously?” I turned to the side and stared at her with wide eyes.

  “I’ll spare you the details, but apparently they custom made underwear with battles in mind.”

  “Guess it’s a cultural difference?”

  Haruno nodded in response to my question. “They also cast magic with the wearer in mind.”

  “They really go that far?”

  “Yes. It makes the underwear more expensive, though...”

  Even though she spared me the details, I figured it meant this underwear was for people who moved around a lot. I couldn’t help but glance at the firm blazer that covered Haruno’s boobs, and at the loose white robe that shrouded Sera’s boobs, then quickly looked away. Yes, they both appeared much slimmer when they wore clothes. In fact, I think they were wearing the sort of clothes that masked their curves on purpose.

  “But the designs are really cute.” Haruno must have had a hard time shopping. Even I knew that the bigger the cup size, the less choice there was.

  “Ficus really is amazing,” I said.

  “Yeah... I guess you can’t underestimate this world just because it appears to be medieval.”

  “They’ve got magic on their side, after all.” It was certainly a strange way of realizing this world wasn’t completely on a medieval level in terms of technology and culture. The existence of magic alone was a huge difference – perhaps that’s why this world was able to evolve in its own unique way, such as with the Ficus brand.

  I can’t underestimate this world just because I have modern knowledge on my side. Learning about that perverted genius had given me a chance to reconsider my view on this world. It seemed as if Haruno had experienced something similar, as she also had a pensive look on her face.

  “But for some reason,” I sai
d, as I stared up at the ceiling of the carriage. “I just can’t bring myself to respect that Ficus guy.”

  “I feel the same way...” Haruno said, with a troubled smile.

  Next, we went out to buy the remainder of what we’d need for our journey, aside from food: shoes, cloaks to protect us from the cold, water skins, light sources, tinderboxes, and other small things.

  After that, Haruno and I headed back to the temple. The next day, we planned to begin our real preparations and start looking for party members. I thought that Haruno and Sera would both make nice party members, but I didn’t have the courage to ask them if they’d be okay with bathing together so soon after what had happened. Bathing with two girls who were actually very curvy would most likely be heaven on earth, but unfortunately I had to give up on that dream for the time being – so we parted ways.

  “I can’t go with you, Sir Touya, but I can introduce you to some people.” Mr. Butler had responsibilities to the temple, so he couldn’t come with me either. “If you could first tell me what sort of party members you’re looking for, I’ll do my best to search for them.”

  “Well... I’m not interested in bathing with other men.”

  “...Yes, I would suppose not.” The temple elder, who was also with us, understood exactly what I was looking for from that simple declaration.

  Due to the way my Unlimited Bath worked, adding someone to my party meant we’d have to bathe together.

  “A difficult condition indeed...” Mr. Butler’s face hardened, as if he had figured out what I was thinking.

  “I agree. But I can’t just bathe alone and exclude my party members...”

  “Yes, I can understand that.”

  Allow me to repeat myself: I didn’t want to just hog the bath to myself. As I continued to think, Mr. Butler raised two fingers and started to speak.

  “I’ve come up with two possible solutions. The first would be to search for party members who don’t bathe... Oh, please don’t misunderstand here. I’m talking about non-humans who don’t bathe to begin with.”

  He was talking about demi-humans. Creatures that resembled humans, but weren’t. In my world, dwarves and elves were pretty famous. Of course, they were legendary creatures, but it seemed like they might actually exist in this world.

  “Hmm. Where can I find them?” I asked.

  “I’m not sure. I’ve never met one myself, you see.”

  “Aw, come on.”

  “Apparently you rarely catch sight of them in the human realm,” Mr. Butler answered nonchalantly, completely ignoring my outcry. “Remember, it was just an idea. I’ll try to search for them, but please don’t get your hopes up too high.” So basically, chances were pretty slim.

  “What was your other idea?” I asked.

  “Choose a woman who wouldn’t mind bathing with a male, I suppose. You’re a hero, Sir Touya, so I think you’d be surprised at how easy it could be... To find a woman who wants sperm, that is.”

  “Don’t say sperm!” I couldn’t believe he had said that word so bluntly. Maybe he really was a perverted gentleman after all. “You haven’t forgotten that I’m gathering these people for my journey, have you?”

  “If it weren’t for that condition, I’m sure that noble women would have flocked to you, rather seriously. They were quick to instate me as your guide, so I’ve already received several requests.”

  “...Really?”

  “If possible, I could arrange for you to meet with them right now. Their ages range from 21 to 12, so you’re free to choose as you please.”

  “12?! You want me to put a child in danger?!”

  “How rude. A 12-year old is a full-fledged adult.”

  “...Excuse me?” I glanced at the temple elder for confirmation. He nodded in reply.

  According to the temple elder, most people in this world were labeled adults between the ages of 12 to 15. It seemed like 12 was on the early end, though. Anyone labeled as an adult was allowed to marry, which made me feel a mixture of envy and shock.

  “Is being a hero from another world really that great of a thing, that it would make people flock from all over?”

  “What if I told you that the very first sacred king had also been one?” Mr. Butler retorted.

  “So they see me as someone close to the sacred king’s line...” As I muttered this, the temple elder stroked his long beard and gave me a slow nod.

  “At least when it comes to this kingdom. If you wanted a harem, you could easily create one. But there are two other male heroes out there, so you’d better act fast! The early bird catches the worm!” Mr. Butler said, then pointed a sharp finger at me. He was getting so into this.

  I couldn’t deny that it sounded tempting, but I told myself I wasn’t a total wimp for getting nervous at the thought of some very aggressive women coming straight for me. I had a feeling that if I didn’t stick with Mr. Butler, things could take a very sharp turn for the worse, so I tried changing the subject.

  “What about other kingdoms? Are there any you aren’t on good terms with?” When I asked this question, Mr. Butler and the temple elder looked at each other in a way that instantly revealed the answer.

  “It’d take a long time to explain the details, so I’ll save them for another time,” Mr. Butler said. “Basically, we belong to the Olympus Alliance, which is formed from twelve countries that exist in this continent.”

  “Jupiter is a central member of the alliance, so sometimes other entities try to rob us of our status,” the temple elder said.

  “So just because you’re in an alliance, it doesn’t mean you’re on ‘good’ terms with everyone?” I asked.

  “That’s basically how it goes with foreign relations.” Mr. Butler twirled his mustache and gave me a cynical look.

  Temples existed in every country, and had their own private network, so it seemed like they knew a good deal about foreign relations.

  “We’re not engaging in direct war with anyone, though, so please don’t worry,” Mr. Butler said. “We fought with a neighboring country three years ago, though.”

  “Don’t worry? But what about the demon lord?”

  “The demon lord’s underlings were behind the scuffle that began that war.”

  “...I thought he hadn’t come back to life yet?”

  “We’re not sure on the details, but some say that despite being sealed, he can still command other monsters.” Apparently, the demon lord was much more dangerous than I thought. “We won’t be able to launch a wide-scale search, but I’ll figure something out.”

  “You can find people for me?”

  “There are some aggressive candidates out there, but it might be difficult if we’re too blunt with our terms...” The temple elder said in a worried tone.

  “I know what you’re about to say.” Mr. Butler furrowed his brow a bit. “It’s going to be difficult to tell them that ‘bathing with the hero’ is one of the conditions, correct?”

  “No. If you start out with too strong of a request, Sir Touya, then you’ll lose the initiative,” the temple elder answered.

  “Just how aggressive are these women?!” I shouted. The thought of a high-handed, aggressive 12-year old piqued my curiosity, but there was no way I was going down that road.

  “Are you sure you won’t consider being flexible for a male party member, perhaps if the conditions are very good?” Mr. Butler asked.

  “Please. The bath isn’t that spacious...”

  I was so exhausted from heckling Mr. Butler that I let an honest reaction slip right out. There was just no way I’d be able to enjoy bathing with another man. That was the one rule I had no intentions of budging on.

  Several days later, I had yet to find a single candidate, so I just kept studying magic and training for battle. Apparently, Haruno had already found several party members. Similar to how the aggressive noble ladies had flocked to the male heroes, certain lascivious noblemen had flocked to the female heroes, but she had turned them all down.

&nb
sp; “Some of them seemed like they were pretty strong, but not very serious about going on a journey with me...” Yes, they were probably much more focused on having their way with her.

  As they say, one man’s fault is another man’s lesson. I may have been in no place to judge others, but I knew I had to be careful.

  “I bet it was hard to get them to back down,” I said.

  “The temple knights protected me.” I had thought about enlisting some myself, but they were all loyal to their current employers, and none were as passionate as Sera. I was really impressed by how dedicated she was to assisting Haruno.

  “That reminds me,” I said. “Did you get any news on how the other three are doing? I’ve been so busy with studying and training that I haven’t heard anything.”

  “Oh. About that...”

  Haruno seemed to be curious about them as well, and had gathered a good bit of information. First, I learned that Akio Nishizawa, aka Cosmos, wasn’t trying to hide his gift’s ability at all. He was a slender man with a handsome face, and my first impression was that of a narcissist who tended to push his luck. Perhaps he was someone who just preferred to show off his abilities rather than hide them.

  His gift was the Unlimited Bullet, which allowed him to create two guns that he could fire as many times as he wanted – a very aggressive gift, and a far cry from my Unlimited Bath. He had already added the holy princess of this kingdom to his party and enlisted the help of the princess’ elite guards. Since it was their duty to stay near the princess at all times, it meant they all had to be young women. According to Haruno, they looked like a group of high school girls on a field trip. In other words, to my envy, Cosmos currently had 12 party members, all of which were girls – and not only that, he was still regularly venturing out to town in order to look for more. Of all of us, he was the one who was the most positive and excited about being a hero, so I hoped he’d work hard in terms of defeating the demon lord. Incidentally, it seemed that not many of the aggressive noble ladies had gone for him. Perhaps they decided they couldn’t beat the sacred princess.